She smiles at me.
“Besides, I’ve never been lucky in love.”
“Take him, he’s yours to enjoy. I promise I will never interfere. But Pharaoh must not know of this. I cannot hurt him in that way.”
“He won’t know a thing,” she says, with a smile. “Besides, it was his idea for us to convert the Luminos. And now I will have one of my own.”
Marion bites her wrist, and holds it to his mouth. He lies there like a corpse, as the first few drops touch his lips, even though I can hear the slow thudding of his heart with my keen vampire ears.
It’s several minutes before his head begins to move about, and Marion patiently bites her wrist once more, as the wound has begun to heal. But eventually, his eyes flutter open, and Adam looks to us in panic when he realizes what’s going on. Marion holds her arm against his mouth, forcing him to drink, and he finally succumbs to the power that flows into him.
And I worry about what I’ve done, how he’ll react to the mixed blessing I’ve given him.
Weeks later, and we have settled into this new kingdom. We now live in the palace that Adam once dwelled in during his human existence. And in the morning hours, just before sunrise, Marion and I sneak away, and she tells me of their new life together.
She has known him too, apparently. They have danced a dance of animosity over lifetimes. It seems she met Adam over several of his existences, and the two have come to blows. She has even made love with him before, and taken pity on Adam, if it can be called pity to kill someone rather than torturing them for days.
And now they relish being on the same side.
“This doesn’t hurt you to hear, does it, Saga?”
“No, Marion. Of course, not,” I say, lying.
But it is better this way. It seems that theirs is the true love. And at least he is alive, and my guilt is assuaged, to a degree.
Adam has adjusted well to his new vampire life, as if he was meant to be one of the monsters. He requires constant blood to survive, as I still do, but it is a time of war, and that’s easy enough to find through the prisoners we’ve captured. And when he’s not helping us to hunt down the remaining enemies in his land, he’s constantly making love with Marion.
Yet, Adam won’t look at me. He hates me, somehow. Which is fine. I would rather not talk to him, and stir up old feelings. But I worry that Pharaoh suspects there is something between us.
Adam’s being with us has helped to calm the people. They are convinced their old prince has joined forces with the invaders, to bring peace. Which is true, in a sense, though the remaining Luminos forces know better. And the people are confused that their royal son can only come out at night.
After a few weeks in the new palace, it is decided that Marion and Adam will stay here to rule this land, while Pharaoh and I go back to our own kingdom. And I am happy at the thought of leaving this place. I find it unnerving, to be in a land where so many of our enemies could still be hidden.
I am excited on the day before we are finally to leave, but while Pharaoh is out surveying the land, I hear something in my mind, as I lounge in my room in the foreign palace.
“Saga …”
Adam is using his new mental gifts to call out to me. I walk out into the corridor to find him, and am surprised, as he pushes me up against a wall. And again, I see a look of hatred on his face.
I’m afraid he’s going to kill me.
“You are a traitor to your own kind,” he hisses.
“Hardly,” I say. “My own kind did nothing for me, save send me off to die. It would seem that you are the one who is the traitor.”
And he stares me down, with a cruel expression.
“Perhaps I’ll learn all their secrets and use my knowledge against them. Tell me, will you run and tell your precious Pharaoh that?”
“No, because you won’t do any such thing. You’re lying.”
And Adam looks away.
“I thought I might at first. But the Luminos life is madness, to come back time and again, to struggle to remember. To spend your every waking moment training to fight in a war you’ll never win. This is what it means to be truly eternal. And the vampires will win this war, not the Luminos.”
“Then you should be grateful for the gift you’ve been given,” I say. Though I’m almost sad he’s accepted this fate.
“No, I will never be truly happy. I will never get over my guilt. You should have let me die. You should have killed me, before the Queen could do this to me.”
“I could hardly stop her. The Queen is far stronger than I. She does as she pleases.”
“Stop lying. I’m not stupid. I was there, though barely. I heard you ask her to do this.”
“And what exactly did you hear?”
“Just that, you asking her to change me. I remember little else.”
I look away, and it kills me to do it, but I have to lie. Adam must never know the truth, for both our sakes. And I look back to him, with a wicked smile.
“Well, I could hardly be the only one. The Luminos will want to kill me, now that I’ve betrayed them. I need someone who knows all their secrets to help us destroy them, to keep me alive. And besides, you’re a dull boy. You’re sure to get yourself killed soon enough, which will help me all the more. I’ll need to know if I can still come back, after the change.”
Adam puts his face near mine and hisses, full of disgust.
“You’ve done me a favor with your stupid games, little girl. And now I owe you one in return.”
He backs away, but the shock of the truth destroys me. Adam hates me. It takes a moment for it to sink in. This is the last thing I wanted, and perhaps he’s right. I should have just let him die. But maybe it’s better this way. It will be easier to push my feelings aside, and go back with Pharaoh, to be happy.
Before I can ponder these thoughts for too long, we hear a scream. Marion is alone in the throne room, and Adam and I go running down the hall. We enter it, to find her fighting with several assassins who’ve climbed through a window, protecting herself with a sword. Thankfully, the sun is setting outside, and our strength returns. Adam rushes to pull one off of her. And I take out the dagger that he gave me from beneath my dress, the one I continue to carry. I throw it into the back of one of the assassins.
We’re too much for them. I find a polearm, and attack them from behind, and with my distraction, Marion quickly downs her foes. Adam viciously beheads the other. But it all happens so fast. Another one comes through the window, and leaps at Marion with raised sword. I stand in the way, which somehow gives her the time to rush him and snap the man’s neck.
And then I’m on the floor. I look up, feeling the most intense pain imaginable through my heart. It takes me a moment to realize he’s run me through. Adam and Marion are staring down at me, looking at me with concern, and it’s all so strange.
I was strong, I was to be immortal in my new vampire life. But it was a lie. And now, I feel so weak.
They’re saying something, telling me to be strong, that I’ll survive. But over their shoulders, I see something else. An image of a girl, dressed in white, with long brown hair. She floats over them, like an angel. And she’s in a strange place that I’ve never seen before, one that I know is in the future.
She has a strange name, Caroline. It comes to me in a whisper.
And I look to Adam, not Marion.
“I’ll see you in another life,” I say.
I was wrong. I realize it is I, not Adam, who will find out first if the Luminos can come back after living a vampire life. And I hope that it’s true, as everything around me begins to fade away. Because I would like to see him again.
But for now, I’m gone, as I rush down a tunnel of white light.
Chapter Nine: The General
I wake up with a gasp and look about my room, relieved that I’m still breathing, that I am still alive. It’s a shock to feel yourself being stabbed through the heart, to say the least. And I’m a bit confused, because a part
of me still feels like I’m Saga, that I should be in a sandy temple in Egypt, drinking blood to survive.
I can still taste her hunger for it.
And I recall staring at the unnerving image of myself, looking back at her as she died. I wonder if I will see a future version of myself some day that will signal my own death, or if I will live forever, because I allow Roland to change me.
There’s almost too much information filling up my head, but what my mind keeps returning to is the knowledge that Adam is the one I’m in love with, not Roland. And that he was one of the Luminos. I almost feel he was the reason that Saga came back from wherever it is that they go, to find him again. And I wonder if I’ve also returned for him once more.
It feels like a betrayal, but I want to see Adam even more than Roland, to better understand my feelings.
I hear a knock at the door of my room, and Mother peeks her head in. It’s still daylight outside, and I wonder how long I’ve been asleep.
“Caroline, may I come in?”
“Please.”
She approaches the side of my bed, and sits, gently.
Mother looks beautiful, like an angel, and I feel bad for a moment, to have invited monsters into her life. Though technically, she is the one who invited them into my life by arranging my marriage, but at least she had no knowledge of what they truly were. And I shudder to imagine what she would think of Roland and Marion if she knew the truth about them. But that is a secret I must keep from her forever.
She brushes my hair to the side with her hand, and smiles at me, gently.
“You have been asleep for a very long time.”
“For how long?” I say, in alarm.
“For almost a day.”
And my head spins. That I could absorb it all in a such a short time, so much of Saga’s existence … it’s mind-boggling.
“We were worried about you, we could not rouse you. The doctor was called, but he said we should let you rest. That perhaps it was exhaustion, from the excitement of your upcoming nuptials.”
“Whatever it is, I feel much better now. Completely refreshed,” I say, trying to appease her worried mind. “Sleep is exactly what I needed.”
“Roland has sent a card. He would like to see you today. I was going to send him a reply, saying it might be best to postpone his visit.”
“No, please don’t. I would most like to see Roland again, as soon as possible.”
A pang of excitement rushes through me which must be an effect of the venom he put in my system. I now know what Mar Mar must have felt, to be under their irresistible spell. But resist it, I will. I have to remind myself that I am not excited to see Roland, that I wish to confront him.
My anger helps to push any romantic feelings away.
“Are you sure that it’s wise that he visits?”
“Yes, I am. In fact, as soon as I’ve had a bowl of Cook’s wonderful oatmeal, I am certain I will be quite myself again.”
“All right,” Mother says, with an unsure smile.
I manage to dress myself, and go downstairs to breakfast, which Cook brings to the table for me, despite the fact that I have missed the early-morning meal with the rest of my family. And she must feel sorry for me, because she barely scowls as she sets down my plate, and spares me the wretched oatmeal that I, in fact, despise.
And shortly after I finish, Roland sends a card with his response, saying he will visit us at noon.
After my meal, I go back upstairs to rest, and better recover from my ordeal of the past night. I need as much time as possible to gather my thoughts. And before the appointed midday hour, I am in front of my dresser mirror, preparing to see my fiancée.
Cecily comes rushing into my room, and I am surprised at how I have become accustomed to her uninvited visits. She is my one true ally in this battle, and it feels like a lifetime since I’ve seen her last.
“Mademoiselle, the vampire is here,” she says, with her eyes filled with nervous excitement.
“I know.”
“And you’re going to see him?”
“Of course, I’m going to see him.”
“Are you sure that it is wise? After what has happened?”
An image flashes in my mind, of myself in Pharaoh’s bed, sharing passion. And of the moments we spent in the carriage, after they rescued me from the alley. I take a deep breath, and try to reign in my intense attraction to Roland. And I find my true self again.
“I will be fine, Cecily. Roland does not control me. My visit to the past has changed all of that,” I say, though I’m not quite sure that it’s true.
I turn to our maid, who still looks at me with fear covering her dull, round face. And I think to myself that the Luminos have not changed their tactics much. She is a young girl, someone they think is expendable, who no one will miss if they send her into the heart of danger. But perhaps they are clever. Even Roland would not think her a spy.
“I need your help, Cecily. Please arrange a meeting between myself and my people. As soon as possible. I must find the Luminos again. I have much to tell them.”
“Oui, mademoiselle.”
“And help me to get dressed.”
I go outside to the garden, where I have asked to have tea with Roland, despite the protestations of my mother. It’s a chilly day, though I suspect that he will not even notice the cold. I remember how powerful I felt as Saga, though in reality, her strength was only a degree more than that of normal mortals. I could not throw a horse, or lift large slabs of stone. But I have little idea how far the powers of the monsters progress over time, or if the older vampires are simply more cunning from having lived so long. And I wonder how much the daylight affects them, even when they are finally able to walk in it. There are still so many questions I have to ask.
I approach the gazebo in our garden, and Roland is standing there, looking like a vision of masculine perfection. And his face brightens with a smile when he sees me. He’s so beautiful, and I cannot help but to feel butterflies in my stomach as we draw closer. Even though he is hundreds of years old, perhaps thousands, he still looks fresh and young as he did in the days of Pharaoh, when he was dressed so differently.
And I wonder how time has affected him.
“My love,” he says, standing as I near. “It is so good to see you. The time we’re apart feels like an eternity.”
He kisses me on the cheek, and allows me to sit. And I stare back at him, coldly.
“I’m sorry to hear you were not feeling well. I thought it best to let you …”
“Your bite does not control me anymore,” I say.
And for once, Roland does not seem powerful and commanding. He is suddenly speechless.
“I am Luminos. I am Saga.”
“What?”
“The memories have started coming back to me. They’ve freed me from your control. That is why I was sick. I fell into a stupor, and Saga’s life came flooding back to me in a fever dream,” I say. “Did you know I was her? Is that what this is all about?”
“I did not know. But I suspected, or at least thought it could be true,” he says, quietly.
And for the first time, Roland has a note of guilt to his voice, or at least sounds like a being who’s capable of remorse.
“There were signs. Your mind is very difficult to read or influence, which is sometimes a trait of the Luminos. And you’re both so similar. You have her spirit, you have the same innocence about you that makes one want to protect you from the horrors of the world. But there were other things. My feelings were so strong from the moment I saw you, the strongest I have ever felt since Saga. But after a while, it did not matter to me who you were. I thought maybe I had just moved on and found love again.”
I will not feel pity for this creature, I think to myself, this slaughterer of millions. Or at least a monster who has drank from many, as he does not seem to kill them, for the most part. It confuses me what to think.
I steady my heart.
“Did you do this to
my father?” I hiss. “Did you destroy his company, so he would be weak, and you could arrange this marriage to me?”
“No, your father put himself in that position on his own. Though we may have … helped it along, to facilitate a union to one of his lovely daughters. But it was all before I knew you,” Roland says.
He leans across the table, and stares at me, gravely.
“Though rest assured, I would have destroyed a thousand companies and anyone who stood in my path, if that’s what it took to be with you.”
I turn my head away. I’m not sure if I can believe Roland, after his bite. I know the vampires, and how much they love their power. They are capable of anything. I do not trust that he would not lie to me, after the way he has manipulated me.
“Why do you say this?” Roland says. “Why do you think we’re responsible?”
“The Luminos told me. They have contacted me.”
Roland sighs in frustration, and shakes his head. And he leans across the table, staring at me, seriously.
“No, Caroline, no. You must not contact them. It is not safe,” he says. “How did they reach you?”
“A card,” I say, lying to protect Cecily. “They sent it to me, under the guise of it being from one of my friends.”
“And what did it say?”
“Just that. That we were being controlled by your people. And that they would contact me again.”
“And do you still have this card? Can I see it?”
“I burnt it,” I say, quickly, without thinking. “It frightened me. I did not think it could be real, until I remembered.”
He stares at me for a long moment. And I feel that he can detect my lies with his keen vampire senses. But Roland says nothing.
“Caroline, whatever you do, you must not let anyone know you are Luminos. Especially not my people.”
“And why? What would it matter? You’ve transformed the Luminos before.”
“Things have changed. It would be an immediate death sentence for you. Only if you are transformed will you be safe. The blood is sacred, and even a Luminos cannot be destroyed once you become one of us.”
The Meridian Gamble Page 32