Shackled Lily

by T L Gray

  “You seemed to care today,” he reminded me, taking another perfect bite of his dinner.

  “That’s only because the Mansfield product was awesome. It reminded me of me…lots of popularity with very little constraint.” I was laughing a little as I spoke, trying to get Robbie to relax again. He was always so stiff.

  “I can see that. Where as I am much more like the Pepsi product…guaranteed success, but straddled with a multitude of constraints.”

  I watched his face again. They were empty words, spoken with no emotion to tell me whether or not he was bothered by them. “It doesn’t have to be that way, you know,” I offered.

  “Ah, you forget, I like being able to get whatever I want. In fact, I am every bit the spoiled kid you said I was.” The intensity was back in his eyes, sending a shiver down my spine.

  “See, I knew it,” I responded throwing my arms in the air as if disappointed. The relaxed Robbie returned, and we finished dinner without any more intense moments.

  When the meal was over, Robbie led me out to the fireplace, where someone had already started the blaze for us. He sat me down and pulled me next to him snuggly so we were watching the fire like a couple who had been doing it for years. The intimacy of the moment made me uncomfortable, and I shifted away from him stating that I should probably head home.

  “I’d like to see you again,” he stated, moving me back towards him.

  I didn’t know how to respond. Robbie had somehow managed to turn a lunch date into an all day event and now seemed to want to do the same thing again. He wasn’t the kind of guy who took the brush off easily, so I just smiled and said, “I guess you could call me.”

  He took his phone out and handed it to me, carefully watching my every move. I put my number in there, making sure to label it Issy just to make a point. I stood after I handed it back to him, indicating I was ready to go now. He didn’t try and stop me, just took my hand and led me back out front where my car waited with the keys inside.

  We were at the driver’s door when I felt him lean up against me, trapping me between the car door and his body. “What was your wish?” he asked in a sultry voice, never taking his eyes off mine.

  I glared back at him, keeping my eyes as void as his were. “It doesn’t matter. It will never come true.” He responded by giving me a soft kiss and then opened my door for me. I felt relief when I turned the key and drove away from his house. That confined feeling I always got around guys came flooding in with more intensity than usual tonight and didn’t leave until I was a good ten miles away from Robbie’s property.

  Grant and my father were still working when I got home. My father exuded jubilance while Grant looked completely miserable.

  “Did you have a nice time tonight?” my father asked when I approached the office.

  “It was fine,” I responded with a shrug. “Why the midnight oil?”

  “Nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about, Issy,” my father answered dismissing me. “Its all paperwork and contracts at this point.”

  I didn’t argue and tried to push away the guilt that suddenly sprung up when Grant looked in my direction. I went upstairs to change, and filled my flask with the stash I had in the armoire. My trip back to Winsor had replenished me nicely.

  I could hear my father and Grant still talking when I tip toed down the stairs and out to the lake. The wind was blowing now, and I felt it rip right through my silk pajamas as I walked along the water. The liquid in my flask warmed me from the inside until the combination of the two succeeded in numbing every part of me. I rolled up my pant legs and started to wade a little in the water before I heard Grant’s voice behind me.

  “I’m not coming in after you this time,” he joked as he approached me.

  “Ah come on, I thought you loved saving me,” I kidded back with a mischievous smile.

  Grant took the flask out of my hand and sniffed the contents, handing it back to me with scowl. “Can’t leave home without it, huh?”

  “But I am home,” I stated absently, looking back over the water.

  Grant rolled up his pants and stood next to me, not saying a word. It was one of the things I most appreciated about him. He never pressed me to talk. Finally after minutes of silence, Grant chuckled and said, “Are we going to stand here forever, because I really can’t feel my toes anymore.”

  I turned to look at him, forgetting that we had been standing in freezing water and walked backward to take a seat on the dry part of the sand. He joined me and I offered him a drink of my flask, but he declined.

  “I overheard you this morning,” I admitted after taking another drink. “I’m sorry my dad is stonewalling you.”

  “You heard us?” he asked, surprised. “I must have been more agitated than I thought. Probably the regret I’ve been fighting all day.”

  I just raised my eyebrow at him and didn’t say a word.

  “I had hoped to present an idea at your father’s board meeting tomorrow. He had promised me last month that he would give me fifteen minutes. Now, he wants all the focus on this stupid merger that is practically a done deal.”

  “My father is going to New York tomorrow?” I asked, completely forgetting that the other information was what he cared about.

  “Yep, leaving first thing in the morning. I don’t expect him back until after the weekend.”

  “Oh, that is the best news I’ve ever heard,” I yelled, throwing myself back on the sand. “A whole weekend without seven o’clock dinners and curfew.”

  “I wouldn’t get too excited. He’s leaving me here to babysit you.”

  “Grant, we both know you are a terrible babysitter,” I said, pinching his side a little to make him laugh. He finally did and laid back next to me. The stars were covering the sky, and our shoulders were touching just enough to send fire racing down that side of my body.

  “So tell me about your new friend,” he finally said after the silence lingered between us.

  “Nothing to tell really.”

  Grant moved to his side so he could look at me. “You spent the whole day with him.”

  “How do you know it’s a him?” I asked, not moving from my position.

  Grant laid back down and shook his head. “You are impossible.”

  Seconds later, he was on top of me, tickling me so hard that I thought I would die of laughter. I wiggled out of his grip and took off down the beach, but he easily caught me, lifting me up so fast that my breath caught. He was moving towards the water with determination, and held me so tightly, I had no hope of escape.

  “Tell me about him, or so help me, you will be drenched in ice cold water.”

  “Grant, put me down,” I screamed, starting to believe he would really drop me.

  “Tell me.”

  “Fine, he’s handsome and rich, and he took me flying today. He’s so captivated by me that he probably has our children’s names picked out already. You happy?”

  Grant stopped and set me down on the dry sand, looking far too smug. “Yes, very.”

  “How does that make you happy?”

  “Because you don’t like him. I just wanted to make sure.” He was slapping his hands together to get off the sand that came from my pajamas.

  I put my hands on my hips. “How do you know I don’t like him? I may be completely in love,” I yelled back defiantly.

  “Ok, let me ask you this, how would you describe me?”

  Before I could calculate a response, I blurted out, “Infuriating, exhausting and very close to getting pelted by a handful of sand.”

  He walked towards me and put his hands on my arms. “Exactly. All emotions, Issy. With him, it was just facts.”

  I glared at him, suddenly angry. He just smiled and let go. “All emotions,” was all he said before taking off back to the house.

  13. TOO MUCH AFFECTION

  I had never been so thrilled to wake up on a Friday before. I knew my father had left early this morning and wouldn’t be back for days. The fe
eling of freedom descended on me like a blanket and I jumped out of bed, ready to plan my weekend.

  I heard my phone buzz and grabbed it as I took off toward the bathroom.

  Avery: Good morning, Issy! I wanted you to know I’m praying for you today.

  I scowled, but texted back anyway.

  Me: Thanks. Any big plans for the weekend?

  Avery: Not really. Just hanging out with Parker. What about you?

  I hesitated for a minute, not wanting to get a lecture, but finally wrote back.

  Me: Not yet, but should by the end of the day

  Avery: Please be careful

  Me: Always am

  Avery: You know what I mean

  Me: Stop worrying. Got to get ready for school. Will text later.

  Despite the gnawing conscious Avery gave me, I was feeling especially edgy today so I put long blue streaks around my face and left the back completely black. I chose a pair of silver and black, stripped capris that shimmered in the light and paired it with a silk black tank top and leather jacket. My black stilettos completed the look that screamed high-class party girl, and I was ready.

  Candace and Reggie, I was learning, were not the partying types, but the group at the lunch table was usually talking about some wild party after another. I’d just have to make it known that as much as I liked Reggie and Candace, we definitely did not share the same moral compass.

  Jason was already in class when I showed, and I noted he was once again seated next to my chair. I approached him with a smile, liking the outfit he was wearing. Torn up jeans, with a tight ribbed sweater and two choker chains around his neck. It was sexy in a bad boy kind of way.

  “You skipped class,” he stated when I sat down. He looked slightly irritated.

  “I had a family emergency. I’m sure I didn’t miss anything important.”

  “Well, considering I waited all day to see you without your bodyguard, it was a pretty big blow to my ego. Lucky for you, I was still nice enough to get you a decent monologue.” His cheerful demeanor was back as was his need to enter into my personal space.

  “What are you talking about?” I asked moving away from him. I had to admit he smelled really good, though. It was a spicy scent that definitely wasn’t as expensive as Robbie’s woody smell, but still not cheap.

  “We got assigned our monologues for class. I will be doing Romeo, of course,” he explained with a wink. “I did my best to get you Juliet, but two other girls wanted that one. I still got you Hamlet and one of the most famous speeches of all time.” He sat back satisfied, waiting for me to thank him properly.

  “I would thank you, but you seem to be doing a pretty good job of that yourself,” I teased, but still gave him a look that showed I really did appreciate him looking out for me.

  “Well, it’s time to make my exit,” Jason said as Reggie approached. “You going to be in class today?”

  “Maybe.”

  He shook his head and sighed. “You’re killing me, green eyes.” Then he was gone.

  The class drug on forever, and I saw Reggie dosing off more than once. I’ve decided that the University used the words “Intro to” as a synonym for boring and pointless.

  When class finally ended, Reggie lifted his chin at me. “See you at lunch?”

  “I’ll be there,” I replied as I packed up my bag. It seemed pointless to do so since I hadn’t taken one sentence of notes. I walked down the steps and out the door, but stopped the minute I saw Robbie standing about ten feet away, engaged in conversation with someone.

  “Hey,” Jason said, coming from nowhere and slipping his arm around my shoulder. “In case you decide to skip class again. I wanted to let you know I am working tonight at Macy’s off Broadway. If you come by, the bouncers won’t card you.”

  I turned my head to look at him, but didn’t move his arm. I found his easy mannerisms charming even though I wasn’t letting him know that yet. “You think I’m the type of girl to sit on a bar stool all night drooling over a guy?”

  “No, I think you’re the type of girl who likes free drinks and might just be attracted to a certain bartender who gets off at eleven.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Robbie approaching us, so I slipped out of his arm and told him I’d see him in class. He took the hint and left just in time for me to turn and smile at Robbie.

  “Hey, what are you doing here?” I asked sweetly as he approached, trying not to show how stalkerish I thought it was.

  “I’ve got class here in a few minutes,” he answered casually, but I could tell there was some irritation to it. “Who was that?”

  “Just a friend. Speaking of class, though, I have to get to Algebra. See you later?” I started to move around him, but he caught my arm and pulled me back.

  “I want to see you tonight,” he stated, getting the dark look in his eyes again.

  “I’ve got plans, but you can call me tomorrow.” I was trying to be as friendly as I could while attempting to free my hand from his tightening grip.

  He was making me nervous until he suddenly let go and smiled, his eyes no longer showing any kind of emotion. “Tomorrow then.”

  I shot him a little wave and then walked away, moving much faster than I normally would. I was starting to question if I ever should have gotten in that car with Robbie. I didn’t see him going away very easily.

  Algebra went smoothly except that we were assigned homework, which I found pretty ridiculous for a college class. I couldn’t remember the last time I did homework. I scheduled a meet up with Kari to go over it on Tuesday. Thank goodness for kind, smart girls.

  I was eager to get to lunch. I wanted to see where the group was going tonight and needed to get settled before Candace’s crew got there. Unfortunately, I wasn’t so lucky, and sure enough Rusty was standing and offering me a seat when I got there. I took it with a smile, still trying not to offend my new friends.

  “Hey Issy,” Rusty said casually as I sat down. His eyes lit up when he saw me, and my stomach dropped a little.

  I watched as the others got to the table and started discussing their evening plans. I stood and headed that way, unwilling to miss the opportunity. “Um, I’ll be right back,” I said to Rusty as he watched me leave.

  I perched next to one of the girls whose name was Rachel I think. Despite how cold they were on the first day, most had warmed up to me, especially since they saw I was not the type to flirt with their boyfriends. I abhorred cheaters and would never go after someone’s boyfriend.

  “Hey guys, any big plans this weekend?” I asked casually.

  “We’re still debating it. You have any ideas?” Rachel asked, scooting over a little to give me more room. That gesture made me immediately like her.

  “I have an in with a bartender at Macy’s, but I’ve never been there before,” I offered.

  Rachel’s boyfriend perked up at the idea. “I love that place. It’s this hole in the wall bar, but they play the best music, all blues and jazz. They also have a lot of live music and pool tables.”

  “But is there a dance floor?” Rachel asked, still unconvinced.

  “Of course. I wouldn’t dare to suggest it otherwise,” he responded, giving her a kiss.

  “Great,” I stated, ready to get away from the lovebirds. “I’ll see you guys there around ten then?”

  They all agreed, and I headed back to the other side of the table where my calmer friends were. I felt a little guilty for not including them, but if they came, I knew I would have to be on my best behavior, and I didn’t want to be tonight.

  “Hey Candace,” I said smiling when I sat back down.

  “Hey Issy,” she said cheerfully. “We were just making plans for the weekend. Wanna catch a movie with us?”

  “Well, I sort of have plans already. Next time?” I offered.

  Candace looked over at the group down on the other end of the table and raised her eyebrow at me. Thankfully, she didn’t say anything.

  The rest of lunch was
fun. Rusty and Candace kept me laughing, and I was actually disappointed when I had to leave to get to Shakespeare. Rusty came with me, without asking this time, I noted. He seemed more shy than usual, and I realized that I was going to have to give my speech…yet again.

  “Issy, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go get dinner some time,” he started once we reached my building. I knew it was coming, so I had prepared most of the walk for it.

  I let out a sigh and then put my hand on his arm, giving him a look that showed I really did regret having to do this. “Rusty, I’m not what you want. I can promise you that. All those girls you dismiss because they aren’t right for you, well, I’m exactly like them.”

  “Issy, you are nothing like those girls. They have one layer. You get past it and there is nothing else there. You, well you have probably a hundred layers. I’m not talking about a relationship here. I just want to get to know you better. You intrigue me.” Rusty didn’t sound desperate or insecure. He just sounded factual, and I smiled thinking it was really a sweet thing to say.

  “You are a great guy, but I just don’t do the dating thing. I’m sorry. I’m only at Western for a few months, and then I’m back to my old life. But, I’d really like to be friends, if that is something you are willing to do.”

  Rusty matched my regretful smile, but still accepted my offer. “I can live with that.”

  I waved goodbye and slid in my chair, feeling very much like I had dodged a bullet. Jason came in minutes later and moved into the seat behind me.

  “Here’s your monologue,” he offered with a grin as he handed me the paper. “Luckily it’s only the first ten lines. That speech is forever long.”

  “Great. I get to pretend to be a tragic hero. How poetic.”

  Jason missed my double meaning. “So, are we on for tonight, green eyes?” he asked as he leaned the whole desk forward to reach my ear.

  I turned slightly and caught his playful look. Jason would be fun tonight; I had no doubt of that. “I’ve got a few friends coming with me,” I offered, waiting to see his response since I didn’t specify what gender my friends were.