Lonely Heart

by M.J. Kane

  Fernando glanced around. The shop had closed an hour earlier. We were the only two left in the garage. “Last time I saw him, he was headed to his office.”

  I sighed, stood up, and stretched. “This is taking longer than I thought.” It had been a long day and my back ached. Time to call it quits. I gathered my tools, put them back in my box, engaged the lock, then walked back and closed the hood.

  Fernando gathered the loose items, disposing of the trash and broken parts. “By the way, I checked out the mechanics school you told me about. I enrolled. Classes start in a month.”

  I clapped. “That’s what I’m talking about. Have you told your father? He’ll be excited.”

  “No, I’m telling him tonight. I hoped you’d go with me.” He appeared nervous.

  “You don’t need me. The name of the shop is Alvarez and Sons. He started this business hoping you guys would take over one day. Telling him you’re making moves to do so will have him up and dancing.” I glanced over my shoulder; Fernando was horrified. I walked over, slapped him on the back. “When you’re ready, I’ll step aside for you to take over. This is your family’s business.”

  “Y tu eres familia,” he returned the back slap with a punch to my arm.

  “Yeah, but I’m not his son.” I walked around the bay, shutting off the unnecessary lights. Antonio went ahead of me to the office.

  I checked to be sure all locks on the bay doors were engaged.

  “Antonio!”

  Fernando’s yell stopped me in my tracks. I doubled back for the office.

  Tio Alejandro was slumped over in his chair, one hand on his chest, his eyes closed. Fernando was bent over him, checking his pulse.

  “He’s breathing, but barely,” His eyes were full of fear. “Papi!”

  Oh God, this can’t be happening again…

  My phone was out of my pocket and 911 dialed in seconds. “I need an ambulance at…,” I gave them the address. “I think my uncle is having a heart attack.” I listened to the explicit instructions given by the 911 operator. “They’ll be here in a few minutes. Don’t try and move him, just keep talking.”

  I stood by, helpless, and watched Fernando stroke his father’s hand, all the while talking to him in English and Spanish.

  Tio Alejandro’s eyelids fluttered once, then became still.

  I ran my hand through my hair, powerless to do anything other than stay out of the way. The moment sirens could be heard in the distance, I ran outside to flag the ambulance down and lead the paramedics inside.

  Fernando was glued to his father’s side. It took me pulling him out of the way for the paramedics to do their job. They checked his vitals while talking to him, but it didn’t matter, he was non-responsive.

  The next thing we knew, the paramedics were moving Tio Alejandro from his chair onto a gurney. “His pulse is weak and blood pressure low. It appears he’s suffered a heart attack,” we were told.

  “Madre, Javier…Ramon…” Fernando stuttered, his eyes wild, movements disoriented. “…they need to know…”

  “I’ll handle it. Ride with your father to the hospital. I’ll follow the ambulance.” I grabbed him in a bear hug and watched the EMTs load my uncle into the ambulance.

  After confirming which hospital he would be taken to, I climbed into my truck, slipped in my earpiece, and started voice dialing.

  ****

  I hated hospitals and avoided them like the plague. Though my last visit here was fourteen years ago, it seemed like yesterday. Everything remained the same. The walls were the same colors, the seating…the floor…

  The only difference; I was no longer fifteen.

  Yet, the events of that night were crystal clear in my memory.

  I forced the memory back in its vault and focused on the present.

  After calling a few relatives, news of what happened spread like wildfire. Our family took up every available space in the waiting room and spilled out into the hallway. There was barely room to sit. With Tio Alejandro being a much loved and respected member of the community, friends of the family were sprinkled in among the group.

  Nearly two hours had passed since dialing 911 and we barely received any news other than he came in and out of consciousness. We were told the doctor was doing his best. It was now a waiting game.

  Fernando was a mess. He sat next to his mother who fiddled with a ball of tissue in her hands, tears continuing to fall. Javier and Fernando stood on the other side of her, looking just as bad. The rest of the extended family sat around the waiting room, some talking in quiet whispers, others mouthed prayers.

  Adrianna sat with our grandmother holding her hand while Julio slept in her lap.

  My mind ran over the events of the day trying to figure out what in my uncle’s behavior I missed, some warning that could have gotten him medical attention sooner. I came up with nothing. Just like my mother, I’d been too busy working to notice anything out of the ordinary.

  History repeating itself?

  Unable to sit still, I went for a walk.

  Chapter 13

  “Whatever you do, do not drop it, Tiffy!” I dug in my purse for my keys while my sister balanced the large ceramic piggy bank bought at the baby outlet.

  “Why don’t you use a bank account like everyone else?”

  The door unlocked, I pushed it open, then stepped out of the way so she could pass. “Two reasons. First, it’s for the baby shower. Guests can stick money in before they leave. Second, I can put loose change in it at any time.” I glared at her over my shoulder. “This means you, too.”

  Tiffany laughed. “Where should I put it?”

  “Set it on the coffee table for now.” I put the lightweight bags I carried in my hands on the sofa and went back to remove my key from the front door in time to see my neighbor emerge from her apartment. “Hi, Mrs. Alvarez.”

  She peered over her shoulder while locking the door. “Oh…hola.”

  Something about her demeanor made me pause. She faced me again with bloodshot eyes.

  I walked over and laid my hand on her shoulder. “Is everythin’ alright?”

  “Lo siento.” She sniffed while running a knuckle under her wet eyes. “No.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “My son, Alejandro…he had a heart attack last night. He didn’t make it.” Fresh tears emerged.

  I never met Alejandro, but remembered she referred me to him when my car needed work. While Antonio handled the transaction, the shop belonged to his uncle.

  “Oh no, I’m so sorry…” I pulled her into my arms. She leaned into me, obviously needing a moment to gather herself. “Is there anythin’ I can do?”

  “No, no gracias. I’ll be okay. I’m going to my son’s house now to help plan the funeral.”

  My thoughts went to Antonio. How was he dealing with the loss? He made it pretty clear how close his ties were to his family.

  “I’m here if you need me.” She nodded her thanks, then walked down the sidewalk towards her car.

  “Is everythin’ okay?” Tiffany peered out of the kitchen where she’d been emptying the shopping bags.

  “I was talkin’ to Antonio’s grandmother. She said her son, Antonio’s uncle, died last night.”

  Tiffany stopped unloading the bag. “That’s awful. Did you know him?”

  “No, never had a chance to meet him.” My hands went to my belly. I felt my sister’s stare. “What?”

  “I’m not tryin’ to be funny, but you look tired. Why don’t you go lie down? I’ve got this.”

  I smiled. In the month since Tiffany moved in, things were working out. She gave me no trouble and appeared to thrive under my roof. She enjoyed the job Ebony helped her get. Since working with the animals, she admitted her interest in veterinary medicine. Though she graduated high school, she had not determined what career path she wanted to take. When Ebony explained the amount of work it took for her to get a degree in veterinary medicine
, her interest fizzled out. She had not mentioned another career since then.

  My goal was to make sure she didn’t consider latching on to another guy with money. After all, a young woman with her looks in L.A. would have no problem finding a man who wanted to use her as arm candy.

  Since she had money in her pocket, she didn’t stay at home on her days off. She seemed to be making friends at her job and hung out with them. While she was a grown woman, I’d do my best to keep her from getting mixed up in the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles.

  One bad decision could alter the course of your life forever.

  My life was proof.

  “Good idea, thanks, Tiffy.”

  My ankles were swollen and my back ached. In my room, I stripped off my clothes before climbing into bed, thankful she’d finally purchased her own mattress and moved into the guest room. I had missed stripping down to my undies and not putting anything else on.

  In bed, eyes closed, the image of Mrs. Alvarez’s tear stained face appeared on the back of my eyelids. What would I do if one of my children died? The thought sent a chill down my spine.

  My thoughts went back to Antonio.

  I leaned over the edge of my bed for my purse and retrieved the business card he had given me. The front bore the shop number, while the back had his cell. I dialed; it went to voicemail. Not wanting to leave a message, I hung up. A few seconds later, my phone rang.

  “Hello?”

  “Antonio, it’s me, Kaity. I’m sorry if this is a bad time…”

  “Kaity, no, it’s okay. Did you just call?”

  “Yes. I ran into your grandmother. She told me what happened. I wanted to say how sorry I am about your uncle.”

  “Oh…thanks.”

  A group of people walked by him, their voices loud.

  “I won’t hold you on the phone. I just wanted to share my condolences.”

  “Hold on…” Antonio’s voice got muffled, then, silence. “Sorry, I’m at my uncle’s house. It seems everyone in the family is crammed into one room.”

  “Your grandmother said she was on her way over to help plan the funeral.”

  “Everyone is trying to have their say. I don’t care what they decide. I love…loved my uncle. He was a second father.” He paused. “All he needs is a funeral where everyone can pay their last respects. It doesn’t matter how much the casket costs, he hated spending money on unnecessary things.” A dry laugh came through the phone. “If he knew they were planning to spend four grand on a casket, he’d come back from the dead, demanding to be cremated.”

  Laughter escaped before I could cover my mouth. “Oh God, I’m sorry.”

  Antonio chuckled, then laughed louder. “No, thanks, I needed that. It’s been a rough night. It was me and Fernando, his son, who found him in his office. He was still breathing…” He sighed heavily as his voice deepened. “I can’t help wonder if he would have lived if we would have found him sooner. We were in the garage working before we found him.” He paused. “I’ve seen way too much death in my lifetime,” he mumbled. “I’m not even thirty yet.”

  The sorrow in his voice was audible; I could only imagine what type of guilt he must feel. Every part of me wished I could hug him. It was my nature to console those around me.

  “Have they decided on a date for the funeral?”

  “Saturday.”

  “Oh, shoot. I want to come, but my baby shower is the same day. Maybe I can still make it. What time?”

  “That’s nice of you, but don’t trouble yourself. The last thing you want to do is spend the day with grieving people you don’t know. Your day should be spent celebrating the new life inside of you.”

  “To be honest, after our last conversation, I consider us friends. I want to support you and your grandmother.”

  “Kaity, that’s…more than I expected.”

  My cheeks heated. Why did I say it?

  The sound of banging and a loud voice in the background interrupted the call. Antonio muffled the phone again. “I have to go. It appears my hideout has been discovered. They need me at the family meeting.”

  “Where were you?”

  “The bathroom.”

  “And you expected that to work?” This time I didn’t hide my laugh since he said he liked it. Maybe it would make him feel better.

  “I wasn’t thinking because it was good to hear your voice.” He paused. “I’ll talk to you later.”

  When he hung up, I lay down and fought to get comfortable. Pillows rested between my knees, beneath my expanding belly, and behind my back. The attempt did nothing to relieve the stress and strain of my weight gain.

  Six weeks until Delivery Day.

  My eyes closed, I focused on happy thoughts. All effort was lost because Antonio’s voice played around in my head. His pain radiated through the line. I wished there was something I could do for him. But how?

  Calling him my friend was a bit out of context. We were acquaintances because he worked on my car and the fact that his grandmother lived across the hall. And okay, yes, he helped me at the laundromat and I called to check on him just now. But that’s all we were.

  Friends…what type of friendship could a single man form with an equally single, pregnant woman carrying another man’s baby?

  Besides, we were from two different worlds. I knew nothing about his culture, though I’m sure mine was pretty easy to understand.

  Mental head slap. Instead of worrying about my friendship with Antonio, I needed to concentrate on how to handle my relationship with Luke. After all, he was the father of my child. In a few weeks, things were going to elevate to a whole new level.

  Chapter 14

  I will never understand the reason for a wake.

  After burying the dead, why would anyone sit around eating and drinking as if it were time to party? Why celebrate death?

  I loosened the knot of my necktie and wandered through my uncle’s home. His wife sat in the living room, wiping tears from her eyes while various family members consoled her.

  Neighbors, friends, and family were everywhere. It was hard to breathe.

  “Antonio!”

  My sister’s voice caught my attention over the din of voices. A spoon waving frantically over heads in the crowded living room indicated her location. I repeatedly excused myself and made my way over to the doorway of the kitchen where meal preparations were being made.

  “¿Que?”

  “Can you check on Julio? He’s out back with the other kids.”

  “Sí.” Anything to escape the confines of the crowded house.

  She gave me a look of gratitude and went back to work.

  I passed the twins who handed out drinks to guests scattered around the house. My father and grandmother were sitting side-by-side in my aunt’s sewing room off the kitchen, in deep, private conversation.

  I opened the screen door and stepped onto the porch. A bunch of children who’d been freed from their parents’ side ran the length of the yard playing some form of tag. My gaze took in the kiddie crowd. Julio sat alone; his hands and suit we bought for the funeral were covered in dirt. Adrianna would be pissed. I allowed myself to smile.

  “Want one?”

  My cousin’s slightly slurred voice drew my attention.

  Fernando leaned against the railing on the far side of the porch. He offered a can of beer while lifting another to his mouth.

  My cousin no longer bore the demeanor he put on during the service. His suit jacket was gone and tie undone, hanging from his neck. The top buttons of his shirt were even open.

  “How many have you had?”

  He shrugged. “Not enough, believe me.”

  I reached for the can, examined the label. “This isn’t what’s being served inside. Where did you get it?” The cold liquid felt good going down.

  He took another swig. “Mi Papi’s stash in the garage. Mamí never found out about it.” He smiled in memory. “He stopped drinkin
g years ago, but kept a mini fridge hidden behind his tools. He knew she’d never come looking around his stuff.”

  I chuckled. “That sounds about right.”

  “He didn’t drink them, though. It was more about defiance than anything else. Whenever I’d come visit, we’d sit out here and he’d give me one.” His eyes watered. “Why did I procrastinate? He died not knowing at least one of us would follow in his footsteps.”

  I clapped him on the back. “He would have been proud.”

  Fernando ran a hand over his already disheveled hair. “I wish we could have found him sooner…maybe…just maybe…”

  I pulled him in, held him as he sobbed. When he pulled himself back together, we went back to drinking our beer and watching the children play in silence.

  There were times when no amount of words said could mean a damn thing.

  Fernando resumed his spot on the far side of the porch, while I stood in front of the railing, watching the kids. My mind drifted back to the time when we were young and the many times I spent the night. Tio Alejandro would be in the detached garage working on a car. I’d try and convince my cousin to put down the Hot Wheels so we could join his father and learn about the real thing. Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn’t. I couldn’t imagine how guilty he must be feeling right now. So much time wasted that could never be regained.

  “We can’t keep waiting.”

  “We don’t have a choice. It will be a few weeks before the will is read.”

  “It won’t matter; we know how it’s going to read. We need a plan in place. I’ve got bills to take care of. The sooner, the better.”

  My eyes narrowed as Ramon and Javier walked around the side of the house. The moment they saw us, they stopped. A glance in Fernando’s direction shown his face hardened and fist balled.

  “You two can’t be serious,” he said.

  Confused, I studied each of the brothers. “About what?”

  “Selling the shop.” Fernando spat, literally, on the ground.