by M.J. Kane
With the events of the past week, it felt like a lifetime ago.
“Carryin’ Chloe on my hip and those shoes don’t mix right now.”
“Sorta like the two men in your life,” she muttered while touching up her lip-gloss. “Speakin’ of which, what’s goin’ on with Mr. Hot-n-Sexy?”
I rolled my eyes at the nickname she gave Antonio.
“It’s been a week since he’s been here. He’s usually here nearly every day. What happened? Did you fight?”
“It’s none of your business.” I went back to feeding Chloe.
At six months, she was able to eat baby food from a jar. Spoon-feeding her from her high chair became the precursor to bath time for the both of us. Between her spitting the food out instead of swallowing and slapping the highchair with her hands, half of the jar of baby carrots landed on the kitchen table, my clothes, and her entire body.
“Whatever. Just keep in mind, while Luke may be my niece’s sperm donor, Antonio is her daddy.”
“Tiffy!” I stared at her in disbelief.
She shrugged. “You guys need to make up for the sake of the baby.” She headed out of the kitchen, then stopped, shooting me a look over her shoulder. “Don’t wait up.” She winked.
I scowled. “Don’t do nothin’ I wouldn’t do.”
She snorted as she headed toward the front door.
My attention turned back to my daughter. “Chloe, darlin’, looks like it’s just you and me tonight.”
Laughter and bubbles erupted from her side of the highchair. When she opened her mouth, I slid in another helping of the mushed up food.
It was hard to admit Tiffany was right. I needed to figure out how to handle the men in my life. A week had gone by since my breakup with Antonio and Luke’s request to pick up where we had left off.
Now it was Saturday evening, the night Antonio would stop by after a long day at work.
I sighed, reached for a wet wipe. Time for a bath.
The doorbell rang. “I’ve got it!” Tiffany yelled. “It should be my date.” The door unlatched. “Antonio, hey, I was just talkin’ about you.”
I froze. He was here? Out of habit I assessed my appearance; oh great. Boy shorts, oversized shirt accented with orange carrot and green pea slime. Thank God my hair was in a ponytail.
“Hey, Tiffany. I hope it was good stuff.” Pause. “You look…grown up.”
“Hot, that’s what you meant, right?”
He chuckled. “Close enough. Is Kaity here?”
“Yep, in the kitchen feedin’ the munchkin. What’s with you two, anyway?”
“Tiffany…,” he replied.
“Okay, fine, whatever. Keep your little secrets. Personally, I think you two need to screw and move on.”
Antonio’s laugh was dry. “Everything can’t be fixed with sex, kid.”
“Only if you’re not doin’ it right,” she supplied. “And by the way, this get up says nothing about kid. Good luck.”
The front door closed.
I walked to the kitchen doorway. Antonio stood, hands in his pockets, looking as good as ever. I glanced at the clock on the stove; it was shortly after his normal work time. His attire was clean as if he’d left work early and gone home to change.
My mind went back to the last time we’d been together. It involved his shower. Our eyes met; we were thinking the same thing. On instinct, my heart raced and lips parted in memory of the way he kissed me. Every nerve ending in my skin came alive in anticipation of his touch. He was nowhere near me.
Luke stood right beside me days before and didn’t elicit this type of reaction. My body only responded to his kiss. That was mediocre compared to this.
Antonio’s gaze took me in, as if trying to gauge my mood. “Can we talk?”
I wiped my palms on my shorts. “I was about to give Chloe a bath. Do you mind waitin’?”
She banged on the tray of the high chair while babbling a bunch of gibberish.
Antonio’s eyes lit up. “Can I see her?”
Guilt filled my chest. He’d never had to ask before. “Sure.”
Antonio followed me into the kitchen.
The moment he entered, Chloe began blowing more bubbles, kicking, beating the tray. She didn’t react to her father that way.
I removed the sliding tray, wiped her hands and face while she fidgeted. When done, Antonio picked her up.
“Hola, Chiquita,” he whispered, continuing to talk to her in Spanish.
Chloe gripped his face, slapping her hands against his cheeks; he laughed and kissed her. They were in their private world. Bath time could wait.
“I’m going to go clean up, okay?”
“Okay,” he nodded, then walked towards the living room.
In my bedroom, I stripped and grabbed the first article of clothing in my closet. The first pair of shorts was stained with baby food, as was the nearest shirt. It was way past laundry day. In the end, a blue jean mini skirt and ruffled top were all I had. I walked past the mirror for a quick examination, then washed my face and combed my hair. Lip-gloss followed.
Hopefully I didn’t come across as a woman trying to flirt. After all, I dumped him. I dug around in the drawer for a clean onesie for Chloe, and ran water on a rag. When I entered the living room, Chloe had fallen asleep in his arms. He watched her as if recording a memory.
“She’s so peaceful when she sleeps,” he said.
“I can stare at her for hours.” I smiled, reached over and played with a lock of her hair.
“Can I put her in bed?”
“Sure.”
A half smile crossed his face before he got up from the sofa and walked towards my bedroom. He returned a few minutes later and sat across from me. “How have you been?”
“Busy as usual,” I replied, trying to ignore the awkwardness of it all. “And you?”
He looked me directly in the eye. “Lonely. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.
Relief passed over his strained features. “Kaity, I understand why you’re upset with me. I’m sorry you’re hurt. That was not my intention. You left before I could explain myself. I’d like the chance to now.”
The one thing I learned about Antonio in the last eight months is that he only said what he meant and proved it with actions.
Despite my decision to end our relationship and Luke’s request to rekindle our romance for the sake of our daughter, it was impossible not to compare my relationship with both men.
Did I still have feelings for Luke? After everything he did, then learning most of it was in reaction to the way I treated him…yes.
Now that Antonio was here, it was clear by my body’s physical reaction, and my daughter’s, the time spent with him meant something as well.
Two years with Luke.
Eight months with Antonio.
In the end, sexual attraction couldn’t be the deciding factor in which direction my heart went.
After learning how my mistake made my relationship with Luke fail and knowing everything Antonio had done for us, he deserved a chance to explain.
“I’m listenin’.”
He nodded. “I’ve dated a lot of women, Kaity. The type of woman I want in my life is smart, funny, sexy, confident, and above all, my friend. You are the first woman who’s met all of my expectations. It’s what made you stand out from the rest. Sex was never a part of establishing our relationship.”
“I hope not. If you had made a pass at me while I was pregnant, we would have stopped bein’ friends a long time ago.”
“I know, but even before that, you took my breath away. There’s something about you…a quiet strength I think you’re not even aware of, that fascinates me. You have a spirit that…,” he hesitated as if at a loss for words. “You’re a source of stability in my life, Kaity. That night at the hospital, I knew if I lost you, no other woman would compare.” His ey
ebrows creased as his voice grew tense. “My wanting you is not about convenience or pity. I love that little girl as if she were my own, you should know that. Not seeing her felt like my own child has been taken from me. I don’t like it, not at all. I need you, Kaity. I need Chloe. Without either of you…I can’t…it hurts.” His hand went to his chest.
Just when I thought decisions could be made easy. My eyes watered. “Antonio…”
He held up a hand. “Listen, I want to make a promise to you…” He moved from the sofa to the floor, kneeling before me. “If you’ll have me, I will give you a baby if that’s what you want. I will be terrified and over protective the entire time and get on your nerves, but I promise to take care of you. My love for Chloe will never change. I will do whatever it takes to have you by my side for the rest of my life.”
I blinked rapidly, trying to process the information. “Is this a proposal?”
“No, it’s a promise. We have a few bridges to cross before either of us can make that commitment. The first one being if you’ll take me back.”
My mouth opened, then closed like a stupid fish out of water. Antonio honestly wanted to be with me.
So did Luke.
My past lover and father of my daughter.
My new lover and man who’s been by my side when I needed someone the most.
“Don’t answer now. Think about it. And while you’re thinking, remember this…” Antonio parted my knees and slipped between. He took possession of my lips with his, reclaiming ownership of my body and heart.
A kiss I thought would be an onslaught of passion was instead one of longing, unknown potential, and promise. Without thinking, my hands were in his thick mane, my tongue in his mouth. Antonio groaned like a man in serious need of sustenance, deepened the kiss, and pushed me back on the sofa. I got lost in the connection of our fused mouths and put my leg around his waist. He slid a hand down my exposed thigh, shifting my mini skirt higher.
I gasped, unable to resist the amount of passion between us.
And then it was over. He pulled away, breaking the connection. “This is not what I came for. Making love isn’t going to solve anything.” His voice was strained as if he were at war with himself. He stood, adjusted his clothes. “We know we’re good at this,” his eyes traveled to my parted thighs and lingered. “I want you, Kaity, so bad it hurts. But I’m talking about more than sex. Make up your mind. I’ll be waiting.” He turned for the door, paused and faced me. “Te amo. I love you, Kaity Lynn Rodgers.” And then he was gone.
I smacked my head and fell over on the sofa.
Two men in my life wanted the same thing. What were the chances?
And damn, my heart was torn.
I was totally screwed.
Chapter 37
“Who would have thought our lunch dates would turn into mommy and me outings?” Yasmine said while staring lovingly at her four month old twins who slept in their car seats.
Beside me, Chloe started her usual bang, spit, bubble routine. At six months, she made random rambling sounds in an attempt to communicate.
“I can’t believe she’s gotten so big,” Ebony said. “It feels like it’s been months since I last saw her instead of weeks. And the twins,” her attention went to the infants. “It feels like life has been passing me by.”
“Yeah, we don’t do this enough anymore. Isn’t it funny how life changes as you get older? The simple things you took for granted mean so much.” Yasmine glanced at Ebony. “Take sleep. Now you guys know me, I need my beauty rest. Since Mackenzie and Jayden were born, sleeping in is a luxury I only get on the days Zack is home or goes in to work late.” She smiled. “But I wouldn’t change it for the world.”
“Me neither,” I chimed in. “But wait until they get old enough to eat baby food, that is an adventure. Be prepared for bath time to be loads of fun.”
Ebony laughed at both of us. Yasmine and I shot each other looks.
“So, when do you plan on joining the baby brigade?” Yasmine asked. “The two of you are over there humping like rabbits. You should be knocked up by now.”
Ebony nearly gagged on her soda. “Yasmine, you are too much. And for your information, we’re too busy to even think about becoming parents.” She gazed lovingly at the babies. “Don’t get me wrong, I would love to have a miniature Brian running around the house, but timing is everything.”
I didn’t miss the brief change in her voice.
“That’s true,” I said, “but regardless, I envy both of you.” My friends’ eyebrows scrunched in confusion.
“Envy? Why?” Ebony asked.
“Ebony, you have the man of your dreams, a dream career, and freedom to do whatever you want. Yaz, you’ve got the family you’ve dreamed of and a man who is absolutely, hands down, perfect. Me? I’ve got a daughter I could never imagine livin’ without, and a job I love that’s kicking my butt. But relationship-wise?” I huffed. “I’ve got two men hot on my trail right now and love them both. I’m so screwed up in the head I don’t know what to do. My past decisions have made my life so complicated I don’t know how I’m goin’ to work my way out of this mess.”
My focus during my ramble had been on cleaning drool from Chloe’s chin. I didn’t notice the surprise and disbelief on their faces until looking up again.
Yasmine was the first to hold up a hand. “Okay, let’s back this train up. First of all, there’s information missing. What two men and what decisions?”
Our lunch order arrived before I could reply. Conversation ceased as we got our plates and I settled an excited Chloe down by giving her a bottle.
“So?” Yasmine said the minute order at the table had been restored.
“I’m in love with Antonio.” That was the first time saying it aloud to anyone but him.
“I knew that would happen,” Ebony said, stabbing at her salad with a fork. “He seems pretty nice.”
Yasmine gave me the once over. “You’ve slept with him haven’t you?”
“Yeah,” I felt my face flush as if I were a schoolgirl caught breaking the rules instead of being a grown woman.
“Was it good?”
Both women looked at me with expectant expressions.
I stared down at my gourmet burger, deciding now would be the time to dip a fry in ketchup. “Beyond good.” I jammed the fry into my mouth.
Yasmine whistled, then laughed.
“Does he love you?” Ebony asked, all business.
“Yes. The perfect part is he loves Chloe, too. He’s even asked about adopting her.”
Yasmine gagged on her cup of water while Ebony’s jaw dropped.
Yasmine was the first to recover. “He said what?”
“How does Luke feel about this?” Ebony asked.
I rubbed my forehead. “See, this is where things get complicated. Luke wants to get back together.”
“Oh hell no!” Yasmine snapped.
“Is he crazy? After what he put you through he expects you to take him back? I hope you told his ass to go to hell,” Ebony snapped.
Yasmine and I both looked at her and laughed.
“I’m not kidding. You did, right?” Ebony’s glare burned a hole in my forehead.
My smile faded. “Not exactly. I still love him.” Admitting that bit of truth to my friends set off a wave of guilt.
“Excuse me? We are talking about the same man who let you walk away and refused to do a damn thing for his child for months, right?” Ebony asked, looking from me to Yasmine for confirmation.
I shrugged. “If I had stayed one more night, we would probably still be together.”
Ebony pointed her fork in my direction. “Look, I’m the one who helped you move, remember? You mean after a few visits with his daughter, he tells you it was your fault the relationship ended? Are you kidding me?” She sucked her teeth. “That man has bumped his head.”
My face scrunched up. “See, this is where my decision makin’ history co
mes in. The night I left was the night he came home with flowers to apologize and make up. He had a ring and was goin’ to propose.”
Yasmine scoffed. “Now he could afford a ring? And you believe that pile of shit?” Yasmine asked with a raised brow.
“I don’t think he’s lyin’…”
“Where’s the proof?” Ebony asked. “Did he have receipts? Emails, voice messages, text messages? A picture of the ring? I don’t recall him contacting me to see where you went.”
“Me neither,” Yasmine added.
“Well, it’s not like I gave him an easy time when he called.”
“Exactly, you gave him hell like you should have,” Yasmine supplied. “It’s been months since Chloe was born and he decides now is the time to get his act together and become a family?” She huffed, then studied me. “He found out about his competition didn’t he?”
I stopped toying around with my plate, sat back, and ran my hands over my eyes. “Yes, and that’s where it gets even more complicated.”
Ebony stared at me in disbelief. “Girl, your life is one big soap opera.”
“It certainly feels like it,” I mumbled.
Chloe threw her half empty bottle on the floor. I retrieved it, cleaned the nipple, then gave it back. She gummed the rubber tip.
“Have you told him about Antonio’s plans to adopt?” Ebony asked.
“No.”
“I would pay to be a fly on the wall for that conversation,” Yasmine said. “When are you going to tell him? If you and Antonio have plans to get married, at least it sounds like you do, Luke needs to know.”
I grimaced. “The problem is I sorta broke up with Antonio.”
Both women rolled their eyes.
“Unbelievable,” Yasmine muttered, attending to Jayden who’d spit out his pacifier and whined.
“But hold up,” Ebony waved her fork. “Did he tell you he wanted to adopt Chloe before or after you broke up with him?”
“Before.”
“Does he still want to be with you?” Yasmine asked.
I sighed. “He came over a few nights ago and told me he wants me back. So that’s a really big yes.”
Ebony held up a hand. “So why did you break up with him? You love him, right?”