No Place Like You

by Marnie St Clair

  The woman at Helen’s side shot her an equally poisonous look. ‘Who are you, anyway?’

  ‘Lily Schofield. I’m helping Maureen out for a bit.’

  Helen snorted. No doubting which side of the help-hindrance line she thought Lily fell on. Why they were being so rude, she had no idea—they didn’t even know her—but she really wasn’t up to dealing with it right now. She was still reeling, and she needed a moment alone to gather herself. The sooner she got out and left them to their precious meeting, the better.

  The door chime sounded again and another woman walked in. Louise Farrell.

  Josh’s mother looked exactly the same as she had the last time Lily had seen her. Just the right side of plump, conservative but upmarket country-style clothing, hair somewhere between blonde and silver, in the same loose bob. Mrs Farrell was the kind of mum Lily could never imagine having. She’d always been ready with cuddles and Band-Aids. Her kitchen had smelled like fresh-baked biscuits, biscuits which Lily and Josh had regularly raided. Most importantly, Louise had always been there.

  And this was exactly the right time for Lily to see a familiar face.

  ‘Mrs Farrell.’ She smiled, but it faltered as the expression on Louise’s face sunk in. Like her son, she didn’t look thrilled to see Lily.

  ‘Hello, Lily,’ she said coolly. ‘You look well.’

  Lily shouldn’t have expected any different, and it shouldn’t have cut near this much. ‘Thanks. You too,’ she murmured.

  But Louise had already turned from her. ‘I thought Josh was staying for the meeting, but I just saw him walk out of here and head up the street.’ She directed this comment to the two other women.

  Helen looked pointedly at Lily, and Louise turned assessing eyes on her again, lips pulled down in an expression that was pure disapproval. Great. It looked like Mrs Farrell hated her too.

  She collected her bucket, determined this time to get out of the room. She hadn’t made it more than a few steps before Maureen appeared through the doors to the kitchen.

  ‘Everyone’s here. Fantastic. We’re a bit behind schedule, so let’s get down to business. Same as usual for everyone? Could you get drinks for us, Lily? Coffee for Helen and Katie, tea for Louise and myself.’

  Had Maureen forgotten Helen hated her coffee? No doubt Katie would too.

  She didn’t want to be here, but Maureen had given her a go today and Lily didn’t want to let her down. At least making drinks would take her out of the room. ‘Sure.’

  She started on the tea in the kitchen, spooning leaves into the pot, adding boiling water, and setting up a tray with two cups and a small jug of milk. So far, so good.

  Coffee was another matter. She returned to the main café area and eyed the machine suspiciously. She could feel it, sullen and spiteful, waiting for her to make the first move. And she would have to, because standing here staring at it wasn’t going to get the coffee made. She approached warily, feeling like the horse-whisperer for coffee machines.

  Easy boy.

  This was ridiculous. It did not hate her.

  None of this was rocket science. Maureen had said it herself. She would go through the steps one-by-one, precisely as she’d been shown. She meticulously ground and tamped down the beans into the basket, mounted the handle, and then hit the brew button. Done. Not so bad, she thought, turning her attention to frothing the milk.

  But the machine began to hiss and sputter, sounding more and more unhappy with every second that passed. Something was wrong. There seemed to be too much steam and not enough water. When small sprays of hot fluid began to spit out the bottom of the filter, Lily dived for the power point and flicked it off. Everything stopped.

  Wow. Lucky. Just in the nick of time. She turned to tell Maureen that the machine was playing up.

  With a dying gasp, it exploded. She felt the soggy grounds hit her back and bottom. She gave a gasp of her own, looked over her shoulder to assess the damage. There was mess everywhere, including all over her.

  She’d kind of been joking before, but it really did hate her.

  Silence, and then a series of sharp exhalations reached her ears, including a whispered ‘Oh my God’ she recognised as coming from Katie.

  Maureen was next to her a moment later. ‘Are you okay?’

  ‘I think so,’ Lily said shakily, giving herself a once over. She took another look at the devil-spawn hunk of metal, then the extent of the mess all over the counter and floor. ‘I think I broke the machine.’

  Maureen started to brush the grounds from Lily’s back.

  ‘That girl’s a walking disaster. What kind of waitress can’t work a coffee machine?’

  A voice from over at the table that she was pretty sure belonged to Helen. Not that she was going to risk looking over to check.

  ‘Helen, really,’ Maureen said, tossing the reprimand over her shoulder. ‘Don’t worry about it,’ she continued more quietly, hand on Lily’s shoulder. ‘That machine has been on its way out for years.’

  Lily managed a small smile. Maureen might come across as gruff and no-nonsense, but she was a good person.

  ‘Go home, Lily,’ Maureen said gently but firmly.

  ‘Are you sure you don’t want me to stay and clean this up?’

  ‘Yes. Go home.’

  ‘Okay,’ she mumbled, turning away to gather her things. Actually, home sounded pretty good right now. It’d been a massive day and she needed some time to regroup.

  ‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ Maureen said, ‘nine sharp.’

  ‘Tomorrow?’ She swung around. Maureen’s steady blue eyes looked back at her. ‘I’ve still got a job?’

  ‘Of course you do. The machine quit, not you.’

  Maureen followed her gaze to Helen. ‘Don’t let it worry you, Lily. I’ll have a word with her.’

  She obviously thought the problem was confined to Helen. It wasn’t though—it was all of them.

  ‘Am I going to see you tomorrow?’ Maureen prodded.

  ‘Nine o’clock. See you then,’ Lily replied. If Maureen wanted her back, she’d be here.

  She gathered up her bag and coat, and walked towards the door, past the table of women without sparing a glance in their direction.

  Once she was out on the street, she breathed deeply, trying to get as much crisp fresh air into her lungs as possible. When she felt like she’d cleansed some of the past hour out of her system, she headed up the street towards the supermarket. She’d forget about the Great Gaggia disaster for a while. She’d focus on the positives. Like, now that she had some money coming in and a working refrigerator, she could buy food.

  Thanks to Josh.

  Her breath hitched a little as the memory of their kiss came flooding back, and her hand flew to her lips. She still wasn’t sure exactly how it’d happened, but it’d been so—

  ‘Lily.’

  She turned to see Louise heading straight for her.

  ‘Mrs Farrell?’

  ‘Call me Louise. You’re too grown-up now to be calling me Mrs Farrell.’

  Well, that was nice enough. Maybe she didn’t hate her as much as Lily thought. ‘Okay. Louise.’

  ‘How long are you here for, Lily?’

  ‘I don’t know yet.’

  Louise pursed her lips, as if that wasn’t what she’d wanted to hear. Lily wondered if her first impression had been the right one after all.

  ‘Lily, I have something to say. It’s not polite, but I’m going to say it anyway. You weren’t good for Josh growing up, and you’re not good for him now. The best thing you could do would be to go back to Sydney and leave well enough alone.’

  Lily’s cheeks were red raw, she knew, stinging as if she’d been slapped. She couldn’t think of a single thing to say in reply, and Louise didn’t wait around for her to find something. She adjusted the strap of her handbag on her shoulder, drew her coat around her a little closer. ‘Goodbye, Lily,’ she said coolly, then she turned and walked back down the street.

  Lily stare
d after her in shock. Had Louise really said those hurtful words to her?

  She hadn’t been bad for Josh growing up. She hadn’t been.

  And she wasn’t going back to Sydney.

  An hour later, she was home. She managed a small smile when she tugged on the light pull inside the front door and was met with an answering glow. She tugged on the string to turn the light off again and took her shopping bags through to the kitchen.

  She’d started to process the day, and one question kept coming back to her: what was wrong with her?

  What was so wrong with her that she was hated everywhere she went? Was she that terrible a person? She didn’t try to be. In fact, she tried to be a good person. But everywhere she went these days, she attracted dislike and disdain like a magnet. She got it with the Farrells; there was history there, and her family hadn’t done right by theirs. But Helen and Katie? They didn’t even know her but they couldn’t have made their feelings plainer. She’d told herself all the way home that it wasn’t her problem, that she hadn’t done anything to them, that she hadn’t even known them before today. In her head, she knew it couldn’t possibly have anything to do with her, but it didn’t stop their antagonism causing her angst.

  It just wasn’t fair, to be disliked for something she couldn’t possibly have done.

  And Josh. What on earth was going on between them? She’d just been trying to get some indication of his feelings. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked, but she was getting so many mixed signals from him. Sometimes he looked at her like he hated her, then he’d turn around and do something incredibly sweet. Like bring her sandwiches, because she knew they had been for her. Or get her electricity reconnected. She couldn’t work him out, and she needed to know where she stood with him. He was too important to her not to know.

  Instead of answering, he’d kissed her. He’d kissed her and she’d felt like she’d come home. But the way he’d looked at her afterwards … Shocked. Appalled. Then he’d stomped off, thunderous.

  Was she bad for Josh?

  She’d never thought that. They’d been friends—the best of friends. Until that afternoon when they’d walked into a nightmare. She’d only been trying to protect her mum. She was sorry for the way things had turned out, but surely Josh understood that she’d had to defend her mother?

  She’d tried to apologise. She’d tried at the time. A week after it’d happened, she’d rung the Farrell household. Louise had told her Josh didn’t want to talk to her and she shouldn’t ring again. And since she’d been back, she’d been on the verge of bringing it up a couple of times, but Josh always got in first and changed the subject. Today, he’d totally cut her off. He obviously didn’t want to hear it.

  So what was she supposed to do?

  Not brood. Dwelling on it wasn’t going to help.

  She plugged the fridge into the wall and flicked on the switch. It still had to chill, but it wasn’t like the weather was warm enough yet for the groceries to go off in a hurry. She packed the shopping away carefully and turned the problem over in her head.

  On the one hand, everyone seemed to want her to go. It’d be easy. She could call Josh. Tell him that she wanted to sell Mirabook after all. This could be the first day of the rest of her life. A new life. One with no tricky, painful ties to the past.

  On the other hand, despite today’s events, she didn’t want to go.

  And one thing stood out like a shining beacon. Kissing Josh had been everything right. In that one moment, she’d seen her truth with stunning clarity. She loved him, like she’d always loved him. Could she just walk away from that?

  Chapter 6

  Three days later, Lily and the committee had reached something of an understanding. They ignored her completely, and she pretended not to care.

  But as she swept floors, wiped down walls and tables, and cleared away dirty plates and cups around them, she listened. There was something about the group’s dynamic that fascinated her. How they each fell into roles so well worn that even a relative stranger could predict exactly how any given conversation was going to go. Like her. And she was getting pretty good at it too.

  Neurotic, perfectionist Helen drew a notepad out of her bag. ‘Would anyone like me to read from the minutes I took from last meeting? Just to remind ourselves of what we were last discussing?’

  No, they wouldn’t, Helen. Maureen and Katie hated going over old ground. Every day Helen offered to reread old notes, and every day, someone jumped in first, deflecting her.

  ‘Oh, before you do that …’

  Right on cue. This time from enthusiastic, optimistic Katie.

  ‘I’ve had an idea…’

  Which no one is going to go for, because it’s going to be like something from outer space as far as the others are concerned.

  ‘A rock-climbing wall.’

  ‘A rock-climbing wall!’ Conservative, reserved Louise. ‘You always come up with such interesting ideas, Katie.’

  Which you hate, Louise, because if there’s one thing you don’t like, it’s new ideas. Louise wanted everything to stay exactly as it always had been. Only more Martha Stewart-like.

  ‘I was thinking how great it would be for the kids,’ Katie added.

  Nice move, Katie! Her back to their table, Lily smiled. Louise wouldn’t be able to resist the reference to children.

  ‘Yes, well, a rock-climbing wall would be great for the kids. But I’m just not sure the hall is the right place to put it. Maybe we could fundraise for it after the hall is finished.’ She took a sip of tea. ‘You know what might be good? Some sort of custom-built facility in that vacant block near the soccer fields.’

  ‘Yes!’ Katie responded with enthusiasm. ‘That would be perfect. Not all kids like team sports, and we could really do with something aimed at them. Like Marcus and Jacob, Ashley Grogan’s boys. Marcus is sports-mad, like his parents, but Jake just doesn’t get into it. But the poor kid gets dragged down to those fields for hours at a time three or four times a week, while his brother trains and plays. Jake’d love the rock-climbing wall though.’ Katie paused to draw breath.

  ‘Right, girls, that sounds good, but let’s stick to the matter at hand and save that discussion for another day. We need to get moving on finalising the design brief for the new hall.’

  No, Lily hadn’t thought efficient, task-oriented Maureen would like the discussion going off topic like that.

  ‘I still think we shouldn’t move too fast.’ Helen, always wanting to consider every angle, plan against every possible negative outcome. ‘We won’t be doing this again, God willing, so we should take our time and do it right. We don’t want to rush in then find out it’s not what we want, or that it’s going to cost far in excess of our budget, or that we aren’t able to secure the builder of our choice for some reason, or—’

  So much to worry about, Helen, so little time. Lily suppressed a smile as she moved to the last dirty table.

  ‘Helen, we could spend years discussing every single detail, and still not have a hall. Best just to start the thing, you know, get it finished and open for use again.’ Maureen, ploughing over the top of Helen.

  ‘Yes,’ added Louise. ‘I agree with Maureen, especially considering there’s no real reason to make any radical changes. It was all working perfectly well before the fire.’

  ‘We need it to be up and running again soon. Everyone is really missing having somewhere to go like that,’ added Katie.

  Three against one. Poor Helen.

  It was the strangest thing. Although Helen clearly thought Lily was pond scum, Lily had developed an inexplicable soft-spot for her. Something about her reminded Lily of her friend Saxon. Not that Saxon was a neurotic middle-aged woman. He was sensitive like Helen, inclined to worry, and often, despite initial opposition from all around, the one with the best ideas.

  ‘Well, I have to disagree. A stitch in time saves nine,’ Helen retorted in a brittle sing-song tone. ‘We should take our time thinking about what we want from the outset
. I for one would like to explore energy-efficient design.’

  There was a pause from around the table.

  Go, Helen! That’s given them food for thought.

  ‘It has to be environmentally sensitive. Everything has to be these days. I tell my kids that all the time.’ Back around to Katie, this time backing Helen up rather than disagreeing with her.

  ‘Cheaper to run. Makes sense.’ Maureen, also now in agreement.

  ‘Well, I must admit, the old hall was too cold in winter and too hot in summer. It was tough on our seniors. That would be one really worthwhile improvement to make,’ rounded up Louise.

  Agreement was reached. As always. How they managed to pull a consensus out of the previous chaos never ceased to amaze Lily. She finished wiping down the final dirty table. She wouldn’t mind staying longer, just to keep listening, but she was done. She should go. She carried the bucket through to the kitchen, emptied the dirty water, and washed her hands.

  They didn’t know how lucky they were. Even with the personality differences, the minor skirmishes and the ongoing annoyances, they were so clearly there for each other. What she wouldn’t give to have that.

  Her so-called friends had fled at the first sign of trouble. Her posh event management company had fired her to appease clients. And she’d done the same, she realised. Saxon was her best friend, but as soon as things had got tough for her, she’d shut him out. She hadn’t spoken to him in months, hadn’t told him the full story. He’d got the job of his dreams in one of the major design houses in Paris, and she hadn’t wanted to involve him in her dramas. It was easy to tell herself it was too hard to keep in contact while he was overseas—the time difference, his crazy work hours, yada yada yada. But the truth was, she hadn’t wanted to talk to him.

  That wasn’t what a true friend did. A true friend would have let him in. If she didn’t lean on him in tough times, why would he ever believe he could lean on her? She’d phone him as soon as she got home, she resolved. No excuses and no white lies about her situation.

  She waved goodbye to Maureen on her way through the café. Everyone else ignored her. She liked to tell herself that the general level of animosity was on the wane, but she wasn’t convinced. Most likely, they’d just resigned themselves to waiting for her to leave. She still wondered if that wouldn’t be the best course of action. But every time she thought about leaving … She didn’t want to go. As simple as that.