‘Hey you.’ He squeezed her tight in welcome.
She turned to introduce him around. All four women were still frozen in place, staring at her friend.
Helen’s mouth dropped wide open.
Despite what had just happened, a smile developed at the corners of Lily’s lips. To her, Saxon was just Saxon. She forgot how very good-looking he was; all wavy dark hair, tempting green eyes and beautiful sulky mouth. In skinny jeans, a white shirt and skinny tie, with his hair coiffed into a 1950s rockabilly style, he looked like he might just have stepped off the Calvin Klein runway.
‘This is Saxon. He’s staying with me for a while. Helen, Louise, Maureen and Katie,’ she said, indicating them in turn.
‘This is the … friend you were talking about?’ Louise asked, as she returned the salt and pepper shakers to the table.
It took Lily a moment to grasp what the problem was. Louise hadn’t been expecting the friend she’d mentioned to be male.
But why was that a problem? Unless she thought she and Saxon might be more than friends. And that would only be a problem if she thought Josh and her were … What had Josh told her exactly? Lily had no idea.
‘Well!’ Helen bit out.
Okay, so it wasn’t just Louise who had the problem. She could almost hear Helen thinking she was just like her mother. If she only knew how wrong she was.
‘Nice to meet you, Saxon,’ Maureen said quickly and smoothly over the top, moving forward to shake his hand. She stopped as she realised she was grasping a dirty, coffee-stained cloth.
Katie was standing still and pale by the table. She made no move to greet Saxon. In fact, she didn’t seem to be taking much in at all. She hadn’t looked right all afternoon. Despite the whole coffee thing—which might or might not have been deliberate—Lily was starting to get a little worried. Should she check if everything was okay?
It wasn’t a good idea. It’d be the last thing Katie would want, even if there was something going on. Besides, Katie had the others. They’d take care of her.
Lily retrieved her coat and bag, well and truly ready to call it a day. ‘Shall we?’
‘Sure,’ he said lightly. ‘Nice to meet you all,’ he directed at the group, and they headed for the door.
‘What are we doing about the posters?’ Maureen called after them.
Lily swung back. ‘We’ll use Katie’s.’
‘No!’ Katie protested, more animated than she’d been all afternoon. ‘I don’t want to use mine!’
‘Then I suppose I have some work to do. Lucky Saxon paints. See you tomorrow, Maureen.’
‘Wow,’ Saxon said, once they were outside and heading towards his car. ‘Those the new friends you were telling me about?’
‘Yeah, not exactly.’
‘Do I want to know what happened?’
‘No, you really don’t,’ she responded with feeling.
He reached an arm around her shoulders, gave her a squeeze. ‘It’s good to see you.’
‘You too. Just wait till you see Mirabook.’
Chapter 10
Josh knocked, but as usual, Lily didn’t answer. When he moved in he was going to install some sort of speaker system. He knocked again more forcefully.
Now that he’d had a chance to think about it, yesterday’s lunch with Katie and his mum had clarified a few things for him. His mum had made some valid points. He was twenty-seven, and he’d never had a serious girlfriend.
Did he see a wife and a couple of kids in his future? Of course he did. It had never been an explicit goal, more like he’d just assumed that that’s what life had in store for him. But as his mum had pointed out, he was pretty far from that right now. It was about time he started looking for someone permanent.
To do that, he was going to have to step up the timetable with Lily. He couldn’t even think about dating someone else until he’d finished his business with her. His ultimate aim had always been to exorcise her from his heart. Head. Whatever. And maybe he’d had a few twinges of conscience, wondering if maybe it wasn’t right to ruthlessly pursue that end given what he knew—but she didn’t—about the debt on Mirabook. But now, he’d had his reasons for doing so clarified.
Enough with the preliminaries. He was ready, more than ready, to take things to the next level. Even stopping short, things had been pretty intense, but he’d been able to keep it together just fine. It was time, and he reckoned Lily felt the same. Unless he was mistaken, she’d thought it was going to happen when he’d showed up on Friday.
He knocked again and called her name, but got no response. Opening the front door a fraction, he was about to call out again when he heard music and her voice coming from one of the rooms further along the hall. A door was ajar, soft light spilling out into the hallway.
Who was she talking to?
He walked the short distance and pushed the door a little further open, hand raised to knock and announce himself. Instead, he froze as he took in the tableau in front of him.
There was another guy. They were sitting incredibly close, almost cheek-to-cheek, looking down at something on the table in front of them. Candlelight cast a golden glow over their soft, happy faces. The remnants of the meal they’d shared, the dirty plates and a basket of bread rolls, had been pushed into the centre of the table. Crystal glasses sat beside them, half-full with a ruby red wine.
An intimate scene between two people who were close. The candle-lit dinner she’d offered Josh. How romantic.
She looked up and smiled at the man, nothing but delight in her expression.
Josh’s mother’s words swam through his head.
To them, we’re like toys, played with when bored, dumped the second something more interesting comes along.
Red. All he could see was red. He wanted to lay into the other guy, grab him by the collar and force him out the front door. And then he’d deal with Lily.
‘Josh!’ Noticing him, still smiling, she stood and came towards him. ‘Creeping up on me again.’
‘You going to do the introductions?’ And didn’t he sound civilised?
‘Josh, Saxon.’ She waved a hand between the two.
The other guy joined Lily. Stood right by her, like he was the fucking co-host or something. He held out his hand, and Josh took it. Josh dragged his gaze away from Lily long enough to check him out. He was doing his fair share of assessing right back.
‘Have you had dinner?’ she asked. ‘There’s some left overs.’
‘I’ve eaten.’ He hadn’t, but like he wanted to sit down to some twisted kind of ménage-a-trois.
‘Let me get you a drink at least.’ She grabbed another glass from the sideboard, then picked up the wine bottle and shook it a little. ‘Empty. How’d that happen? Would you mind getting another bottle from the cellar, Sax?’
‘Sax’ didn’t answer straight away. He was too busy scrutinising Josh. ‘Sure. Same again?’
‘That’d be great.’
‘I won’t be long.’
Were those words directed at him? ‘Sax’ had a protective streak.
He left the room, and Lily rested back against the table. ‘My dad had his issues, but he had excellent taste in wine.’
He didn’t give a shit about Keith or his taste in wine. ‘Who is he?’ he bit out.
She looked confused for a minute, which was fair enough given that she’d just introduced them, but it didn’t take her long to work it out. ‘He’s a friend. He’s going to be staying with me for a while.’
‘Like hell he is.’
She finally picked up on the way he was feeling. ‘Friend, Josh, friend.’
He didn’t say anything.
‘You don’t honestly think …? While we’ve been …’
He still didn’t answer, and her sharp outbreath let him know how she felt about that. He’d insulted her and it was written all over her face.
‘Why’d you come here tonight, Josh?’
‘Why do you think? Get over here.’ The words sounded ugly eve
n to his own ears.
She flinched. ‘No.’
‘Lily, get your sweet arse over here.’ When had he turned into the world’s biggest arsehole? She looked angry and miserable in equal measure, and he knew he should go before he really blew things. But he didn’t. ‘Now.’ He just couldn’t seem to stop. How could he know his behaviour was wrong and still have no control over it?
‘No. You’re being a jerk.’ Angry and miserable maybe, but she wasn’t ordering him to leave, which was probably what he deserved. ‘Just so we’re clear,’ she went on, grave eyes fixed on him. ‘Let me spell it out for you—I’m a one man kind of woman.’
Something in him eased just the tiniest bit. Despite the wine and the candlelight, the room hadn’t had that vibe. It wasn’t like they’d been holding hands or kissing. They’d been talking, laughing, working on something together. Friends, like she’d said.
So what was wrong with him? He needed to get his head together.
The haze was clearing, the red fury, but what was left was no more comfortable. He hated surprises at the best of times, and when it came to Lily, doubly so. He felt uncertain, unstable. Wounded in some way. Vulnerable. And he didn’t like it. He needed to feel like he was in control again.
‘Come here, Lily.’ The nasty attitude had left his voice, but what had replaced it was desperate need. He heard it, horrified, and it made him feel even more uncertain.
‘No. Not yet.’ Her arms were across her chest, and her eyes had a determined don’t-mess-with-me glint to them. She really was a gentle soul, until she was pushed. And he’d pushed well beyond her tolerances tonight. With that weird split personality thing he seemed to have going on right now, he both applauded and despised the new toughness she seemed to have found.
‘Tell me it’s the same for you. Tell me I’m it for you. For now, at least, anyway.’
He let out a low, bitter laugh. Lily had been it for him since the day he’d first laid eyes on her. ‘I’m not seeing anyone else.’ He could give her that much, couldn’t he?
‘So we agree, this non-dating we’re doing is exclusive.’
‘Yes,’ he responded immediately. Despite his earlier thoughts about finding a wife and mother for his unborn children, he couldn’t even conceive of looking for someone else at the moment, and the thought of Lily with another guy made him want to tear something apart with his bare hands. As he’d so amply demonstrated tonight.
‘Good. Glad that’s sorted out.’ She didn’t look angry or miserable anymore. She looked calm. At ease. ‘So why don’t you come over here, Josh?’
It took him a moment, but he smiled wryly. As if he needed that playful command to let him know that something had changed tonight. The balance of power, which he’d been struggling so hard to hold on to, had shifted. She was the in control, confident one, and he was … whatever this was.
He couldn’t do it. He desperately needed contact with her, needed to touch her, to eradicate the ugliness he’d just brought between them, but he couldn’t go to her. He wanted to, but he was paralysed, caught between his inability to move and his need to get close.
‘Stubborn Taurus,’ she said in mocked consternation, and closed half the distance between them. Like she knew exactly how he was feeling, like she knew exactly what he needed, and despite the fact that he’d acted like some kind of Neanderthal, she was going to give it to him.
His heart almost stopped beating. How could one person have so much grace? He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve her.
He was before her in an instant, close but not touching, because he wasn’t sure yet what was happening. He wasn’t sure he should. ‘Stubborn Taurus, hey? So what are you?’ he asked, barely above a whisper.
‘Eccentric Aquarian.’
Sounded about right, and despite the circumstances, a small smile crept onto his lips. He leaned in a little closer, so his forehead was almost resting against hers. ‘Can I kiss you, Aquarian?’
She rose a little, twined her arms around his shoulders. ‘If you say please,’ she whispered in his ear.
‘Please,’ he mouthed, drawing back a little. Then propped her up on the table, ran his hands up her thighs to part them, and moved in between them. He said sorry with his kiss, slow and deep, with all the tenderness he had in him.
A noise intruded on the moment. Saxon clearing his throat from where he stood in the doorway. Lily pulled back immediately. Josh let her go, even though he figured it wouldn’t do any harm for Saxon to see how things were.
Eyes hostile, shoulders tensed for battle, Saxon was inches away from launching an attack with the bottle of wine dangling from one hand.
Josh figured he must have a good few inches on him, and about twice his bulk, but there was a kind of hard-won feral grace about Saxon that suggested he could hold his own if push came to shove.
Not that he was thinking about starting anything.
He better get out of here before things flared up again. ‘I won’t stay for that drink, after all. Enjoy your evening.’
***
Saxon wasn’t making eye contact. He strode into the room, plonked the bottle of wine down onto the table with considerable force, and stalked around the table to the grab the bottle-opener.
‘What the fuck, Lily?’ he asked finally, turning to face her at last, bottle in one hand, opener in the other.
Okay, so he’d caught just enough to upset him. She did get why, because Josh’s behaviour had been pretty appalling, but all up, she was so pleased with the exchange she was almost purring. ‘Given what you walked in on, I think that’s kind of obvious.’
‘What, you’re together now? You told me on the phone last week that you thought he hated you.’
And Saxon had told her at the time that he was sure that wasn’t the case. Seems he’d changed his mind about that.
Were they together?
Josh had made it abundantly clear they weren’t dating. He’d also refused to put any other kind of label on it. So what did that leave her with? That they’d made out a couple of times? At least tonight she’d got him to admit that they were exclusive. ‘It’s kind of early days,’ she extemporised.
Saxon set down the bottle and the opener on the table. ‘I don’t know why I’m opening this. He’s gone, and I sure don’t want any more. You?’
‘No.’
He flopped in one of the chairs, rested his elbows on the arms, and dropped his head back slightly. ‘I don’t like it, Lily. The guy’s got some aggression issues, and they seem to be directed at you.’
‘Yeah,’ she smiled. ‘He was totally out of line tonight.’
He swivelled to meet her gaze. ‘I don’t get it. Why do you seem happy about this?’
‘Because he cares. Tonight showed that he cares.’
Saxon groaned, dropped his head into his hands. ‘This is worse than I thought.’
‘No, you don’t get it. Josh is never obnoxious like that. He’s never hot-headed. He never loses control. Never.’
‘So, he saves it for you and that makes you special?’
She tipped her head to the side slightly. ‘Seriously, Saxon, even since I’ve been back, he’s been so distant. He might have been acting like an idiot just then, but he wasn’t distant. He cares more than he’s letting on. This proves it.’
Saxon didn’t look impressed by her argument, and she remembered that he’d lived through some pretty rough times. Worse even than she had. A lot worse.
‘Okay, I get that you’re worried. I guess it looked bad. But it’s not really like that. He was just upset to find you here.’
‘Just upset to find me here?’ He swore under his breath. ‘I can’t believe I’m hearing these words out of your mouth.’
‘Seriously, Saxon, no matter how it looked, it’s not like that. Honest.’
‘He has issues, and they seem to involve you.’
He had issues, and they did seem to involve her. She couldn’t deny that. ‘He’s got his reasons.’
‘Come on
, Lily. Are you going to start telling me it’s all your fault now?’
Given what had happened ten years ago, it was kind of, but she knew Saxon’d go bananas if he heard her say that. She decided to spare him. He didn’t know what her family had done to Josh’s. What she had done. As absurd as it sounded, she and Josh still hadn’t talked about that day. Hard to say exactly how it had happened, except that Josh didn’t give her much of a chance to bring things up. Especially the past.
‘Look, Lily, I want you to think seriously about what I’m about to say. Okay?’
‘Okay,’ she agreed lightly, with a shrug. She respected Saxon enough to think about anything he said.
‘I know you and Josh have history. I know you used to be close. But things have changed. He’s not that boy anymore.’
‘I know who Josh is.’
‘You used to know him. It’s been a long time and he’s changed. That boy you used to climb trees and swim with, he’s gone. That’s not him. Not anymore. I don’t trust him.’
A chill swept up and down her spine. Part of her wanted to protest vehemently that he’d got it wrong. Another part of her was terrified that he was right, that it was too late for them, and that she’d never get her Josh back—the boy with the solemn grey eyes and the big heart. But he was still in there somewhere. She’d seen flashes of it, and the way he kissed her just then … It melted her from the soul out. He was still her Josh. ‘I love him.’
Saxon groaned.
‘Always have, always will. He’s the one for me.’
He groaned again. ‘Jesus, Lily.’
‘How long have we been friends for? Six years? Seven? Have I ever come across a guy I’m even remotely interested in? I know why that is now. It’s because of him. I’ve been waiting for Josh.’
She could see that he still wasn’t happy about the situation, but she’d made her own feelings clear, and he’d respect them and stop arguing. For the moment.
‘Does he feel the same way?’ he asked eventually.
Well, that was the question, wasn’t it? She didn’t have a clue. ‘Come on,’ she replied. ‘Let’s finish these posters.’
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