***
Finally, she had mail!
She almost hadn’t stopped and checked this afternoon. All she could think about was Josh, and the plan she wanted to put into action, but now she was glad she had.
Grabbing the two cards from her distinctly non-empty post box, she paused on her way in to the post office to admire one of the posters she’d stuck up that morning. It was one of Saxon’s—she could tell by the fine feathered lines. They looked great, and even better, they were doing their job. There’d been people coming into the café all day asking what was going on and walking away with tickets for the big night. It seemed like there was going to be a good offering of items for the auction too. Louise and Helen had put together a list, and already managed to secure a couple of them.
Katie hadn’t shown up today. Not surprising maybe, given how she’d looked yesterday. Hopefully, she wasn’t sick. Although at least that was a reasonable excuse for her not to show. The other alternative—that she was avoiding everyone because of what had happened—was somehow worse.
Pushing through the door, Lily joined the small queue. ‘Can I collect these?’ she asked when her turn came.
She’d intended to take the parcels straight to her car, but instead, she found herself at an empty bench, sneaking a peek inside. She was ninety-nine per cent sure of what they contained, but it didn’t make her first mail any less exciting.
The first was all manila folder upon stuffed manila folder. Her paperwork from the accountants. Not that she wasn’t pleased to be taking control of her finances, but that one could definitely wait until later.
The second parcel was better. The books on small business planning she’d ordered online had arrived. She picked out the first book, started scanning. Yikes, quite a few words in there she didn’t know. Yet, she emphasised to herself, yet. By the time she finished, she’d be able to answer any question Josh put to her.
It was the kind of thing she’d always shied away from, but Josh was right—she needed to understand how to draw up a detailed business plan if she was to have any chance of succeeding. If her vision was to come to life, she had to be willing to learn all this. The last thing she wanted was for her enthusiasm combined with her natural inclination to ignore the tedious details of life to lead to a half-arsed business that failed shortly after launch.
Besides, when she thought about applying it all to Mirabook, it was somehow instantly fascinating. Maybe, once she’d had a chance to wrap her head around some of the basics, she could run her plan by Josh, ask for his input.
Assuming her plan for tonight worked as she hoped it would.
‘You didn’t have to do that, you know,’ a sharp voice intruded.
Her head jerked up and she found herself looking into Helen’s even sharper green eyes.
She knew what Helen was referring to. Earlier that afternoon, a copy of a popular paperback notorious for its racy sex scenes had ended up on the table they were sitting around. Someone had mistakenly drawn it out of their bag. Given the amused superior looks on Louise and Maureen’s faces, that person was Helen.
In Lily’s humble opinion, Helen got a bit of a hard time. Maybe her neurotic ways and prickly personality made her a target, but still. It’d been no big deal to claim the book as her own. She’d stashed it away in her handbag, then later, in a quiet moment, she’d snuck it back into Helen’s bag. Right down the bottom, of course.
She shrugged. ‘It was easy.’ After all, she was Lily Schofield—inappropriate reading material went with the territory. Everyone would be much more shocked and appalled if she was caught with a Salman Rushdie novel.
‘Well.’ And that was all Helen had to say about it. ‘I saw the poster on the door.’
‘Saxon did that one.’
‘Your … friend.’
She didn’t bother to suppress her eye-roll. ‘He is just a friend, Helen,’ she said, stacking her books into a pile. ‘My only friend actually.’
Helen looked sceptical. ‘I wouldn’t have thought making friends would be difficult for you.’
Lily couldn’t help it. She laughed. ‘Based on what? My many social successes since I arrived here? Let me tell you, things were no warmer in Sydney before I left. I seem to have mastered the art of having people dislike me, no matter where I am or how hard I try.’
What was happening with her? She was never this blunt. Something about her confrontation with Josh yesterday had unleashed a monster. To be honest, she’d been euphoric since he left yesterday evening. Things had changed, and she wanted more. There might still be a wall there, but she’d managed to kick one brick free. Now she had a plan which would hopefully knock the whole thing down so they could be close like they used to be.
‘Well,’ Helen said again. ‘What are those books you’ve got there?’
Lily showed them to her one by one.
‘You’re thinking of setting up a business?’ Intelligent eyes met Lily’s.
‘Yes. Maybe.’ After what had happened when she’d told Josh about her idea, she was a little reluctant to share with others, especially someone as unsympathetic as Helen. But hey, she was on a roll with this open and honest thing, so she might as well continue as she’d started. ‘A weddings event business at Mirabook.’
‘Well.’
Not an overwhelming response, but at least she hadn’t recoiled in horror or laughed her head off. Or starting spouting statistics about small business failure rates.
‘Your designs for the ball are very nice, Lily. I don’t believe I mentioned that yesterday.’
‘Thank you.’ She hoped she managed to keep any trace of shock off her face. A compliment from Helen. Wonders never cease.
‘I suppose I must have seemed like a bit of a kill-joy, but I wanted to make sure the whole thing was viable as well as pretty.’
‘I understand. That’s why I bought all these books. I’m good at design, but I have a lot to learn about the technical side of running a business.’
Helen still wasn’t recoiling or laughing. In fact, was that a glimmer of approval she saw in her eyes?
Encouraged, she went on. ‘Josh said that it might be hard to get approval from council.’
‘Josh said that?’ A frown settled between Helen’s eyebrows. ‘You do know I work for the council?’
‘No, I didn’t know that.’ Lily smiled. ‘Maybe that’s why he thought the approval wouldn’t go through.’
It was a risky joke to make. Helen was just as likely to take offence as she was to laugh. ‘I wouldn’t block it,’ she replied, halfway between miffed and amused.
‘I know that. After all, you were the surprise yes vote in hosting the charity ball at Mirabook. I never thanked you for that.’
‘No need.’ She waved her hand in dismissal. ‘It was in the best interest of the town.’
Where had she heard that before? Heaven forbid she should ever make the mistake of thinking it had anything to do with her. But she was too happy and excited today to let it get to her. ‘I better get going,’ she said, piling her books back into their packaging. ‘See you tomorrow.’
‘See you tomorrow, Lily.’
Wow. If she wasn’t mistaken, she’d just made some progress with Helen.
Time to go make some progress with Josh.
Chapter 11
‘I think we should have sex.’
Lily was wearing a black singlet top and a short floral skirt. A bunch of wildflowers dangled from one hand.
Josh froze. His body didn’t have any problems deciding how to respond. It liked the idea of being close to Lily no matter what. But his head was struggling to catch up. Lily turning up on his doorstep asking for sex was the last thing he’d been expecting. He was still reeling from his performance yesterday evening. He didn’t know which was worse, the way he’d spoken to Lily or the way he’d felt on the inside. He’d been alternating between the horror of both all day.
‘I didn’t know you wore glasses.’ She was smiling at him, open and friendly, an
d he wondered for a moment if he’d made up the first words that had come out of her mouth.
‘Ah. Yeah. To read.’ Which he wasn’t doing now. He took them off, thrust them on the side table. There must be some kind of short-circuit in his brain, because he still couldn’t think of a single thing to say.
Luckily Lily didn’t seem to be suffering from the same affliction. ‘So I just took a look at your ute. It looks great. They did a good job.’
‘Yeah.’
‘So … Good.’ She thrust the posy towards him. ‘Are you going to take your flowers and let me in? I picked them on the way over, they don’t mean I’m shopping for rings, so don’t bother repeating the ‘we’re not dating’ line.’
He took the flowers automatically, a little taken aback by her forthrightness. Though for forthright, nothing could really match the first words out of her mouth. He stood aside to make room for her to pass. ‘Come in.’
She ducked down for a moment to lose her boots, and then he was following her into his house, eyes fixed on the long, slender, bare legs in front of him, willing his brain to get back into gear.
‘Wow,’ she said. ‘This place is unrecognisable. It looks amazing.’
It bore little resemblance to the simple two-bedroom weatherboard he’d grown up in. He’d gutted it and turned the whole thing, minus a couple of bathrooms and storage areas, into one big open-plan house with soaring arched ceilings, slate floors, a huge fireplace and a lot of full-length windows looking out over paddocks and trees.
‘I don’t have a vase,’ he said, looking down at the bunch of flowers he still held. The first flowers he’d ever been given, he realised.
She shrugged. ‘Just use a drinking glass.’
Okay. Yeah. As if he’d needed more proof his brain was lacking functionality. He displayed the result on the island separating the kitchen from the rest of his house. They were pretty flowers, simple little things, yet he was totally unsure how he felt about them.
They weren’t the only thing he wasn’t sure about.
He should have been the one taking her flowers, after what had happened last night.
He’d been jealous. Shit, he’d been so jealous the only thing he’d seen was red. He’d been replaying it over and over in his head all day, and the more he thought about it, the more concerned he became over his own behaviour. It was disturbing on so many levels.
He’d been running on pure emotion—the guy who prided himself on thinking everything through hadn’t been thinking at all. It was exactly what he’d feared would happen ever since she’d come back—that he’d end up losing his head. Of course, it hadn’t happened in the circumstances he’d imagined. It seemed laughable now, all the pep talks about maintaining distance and control. He’d been so exquisitely careful, but he’d lost it anyway, just in a way he didn’t see coming.
He didn’t have flowers for her, but he could at least say sorry. ‘I owe you an apology. For last night.’
She smiled. She should be furious, but she was smiling. A secret little smile like she knew something he didn’t. Which, given how messed up he was at the moment, wouldn’t be difficult.
‘Don’t worry about it,’ she replied. ‘You walked into a situation you weren’t expecting.’
Sure. Didn’t mean he had to lose his nut. He wanted to say something more, because it didn’t feel like enough, but she’d already accepted his apology so what more was there to say? ‘Take a seat. Can I get you something? Tea?’
‘No.’ Still smiling. ‘I definitely don’t want tea.’ But she walked over to his expansive low-line sofas positioned to take advantage of the view outside and sat. Waiting.
He’d have to go join her. Anything else was going to seem awkward and weird, but he hesitated. He wasn’t sure he wanted her here. She shouldn’t want to be here. Last night had hit him for six. It’d changed everything. He needed more time to figure out his next move.
He took a seat at a reasonable distance from her, looked out at the view he loved so much without seeing it.
‘This place really is amazing, Josh. I love it.’
‘Thanks.’ He did too.
‘Where’s the bedroom?’
Well, that was direct. Lily obviously wasn’t in the mood to waste any time. He, on the other hand, still hadn’t made any decisions.
He cut her a sideways glance. ‘Mezzanine.’
She looked behind her and located the stairs, turned back again, and just looked at him. Waiting.
So what was he going to do about it? Was he really thinking of shutting this down? Could she really want to do this, after what had happened last night? ‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes. Do I sound unsure?’
No. ‘I think we should have sex’ didn’t lose much in translation. ‘I wanted to be sure that you were sure.’
‘I am.’
Goddamn it, he wished his head would fix itself up, because he wasn’t having much luck thinking his way out of this.
‘It’s kind of where we’ve been heading, and I think it’s time,’ she continued.
Well, that was nothing he hadn’t thought himself. In fact, he’d headed around to her place yesterday for exactly the same reason.
So what was the problem?
He was getting what he wanted, and Lily was keen, so what was the problem?
Problem was, he was starting to have more than a shadow of doubt about his strategy of using sex to get Lily out of his system. If it was all progressing according to some kind of plan, what was with his behaviour last night? Which left him stuck between a rock and a bloody hard place, because when it came to Lily, he was damned if he did, damned if he didn’t.
Lily wasn’t suffering any of the same doubts. She rose from the couch, stood in front of him, and drew her singlet over her head. She was wearing a bra today, and he kind of liked the way it looked with her short skirt. He almost asked her to leave it on when she reached up to unfasten it. Then it was gone, and all that naked skin was even better. She fell forward, fell into his lap, and twined her arms around his neck.
He was running out of time to stop this.
Who was he kidding? He wasn’t stopping this. He wanted her too fucking much.
So be it. He didn’t know if it was right or wrong. Frankly, he was way past that kind of thinking. Had been since the moment she turned up, wildflowers dangling from her hand.
He ran his hands through her silky honey hair, right down to the ends. It was so soft, like the rest of her. Letting the strands go, he traced up her spine, then down again, slowly, vertebrae by vertebrae. As if he had electricity in his fingertips, she arched into him, and her head dropped back. He pressed a kiss to her sternum.
He could feel the energy, the excitement zinging around her body. Like always, it did things to him, like they were connected and passing this hot wild energy between them. She rose on her knees, inched even closer and kissed him. So hungry. His hands moved under her skirt, and he stroked up the backs of her thighs and over smooth buttocks. Squeezed. And she shifted impossibly closer. He claimed another kiss, holding her firm and flush against him.
Her hands came to his shoulders and she pushed back a little. ‘Josh …’ she started.
But he was busy. Stroking her inner thighs, higher and higher until he could work a hand under the elastic of her knickers. He slid two fingers over hot slickness to trap the nub at the top. He squeezed gently, and she dropped her head against his cheek and made a small, breathy sound, sending hot damp air in his ear.
‘Josh, I need …’
He took in a sharp, raspy breath. Yeah, so did he. He cut her off with a kiss, shifted so he could carry her, and stood. They weren’t finishing this on the couch.
***
She’d wanted to tell him something but it was too late.
She couldn’t stop kissing him, just couldn’t seem to get enough. She couldn’t imagine ever having enough of this. Her arms were wrapped around his neck and her legs wrapped around his waist as he carried her towards
the stairs. And she really liked where they were heading, up the stairs, because they weren’t going to stop this time.
He deposited her on a low bed that occupied a fair amount of the mezzanine. Eyes never leaving her, he pulled off his clothes. She stretched out, arms above her head, and enjoyed the show. The top came off first, and she relished the sight of his heavy shoulders, muscled chest and well-defined arms. Then came the jeans, down over long, muscled thighs and calves.
He was stripping off white jockeys, and then … well … wow. She couldn’t tear her eyes away for the life of her. She could have done nothing but gawk at Josh naked for hours. Maybe one day he’d stand there and let her do just that. But not today. Now he was walking towards her, not the least self-conscious, watching her with heavy lidded eyes that spoke a million promises.
A case of last-minute nerves swept over her, but despite the spike in her heart rate, she had no intention of turning back now. She might be a little anxious, but she was a lot fascinated.
He didn’t waste time, crawling on to the bed next to her, on top of her, surrounding her completely. His hands tangled in her hair and tongue in her mouth as he nudged her legs open with his thigh. For a moment she was worried he was going to plunge straight in, but he didn’t. She should have known better—not his style. He just settled there and kissed her deeply, and within seconds she was all languid and melty again.
She wanted to touch all of him at once. She’d liked it when he was stroking the backs of her thighs before so maybe she’d return the favour. She used her nails up his thighs, over his buttocks and all the way up to his shoulder blades. He quivered and stopped kissing her. She thought he’d liked it, so she raked them back down again, harder.
He took a sharp breath, and raised his head to look down at her. ‘Jesus, Lil.’
She liked the sound of that. She loved pleasing him, loved touching him. She reached between their bodies, and used both hands to grip and then stroke up hot silken steel. How could something be so hard be so silky at the same time? Fascinating. He shuddered. Delighted, she did it again.
He reached down and removed her hands.
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