Blind Spirit (Scourge Survivor Series Book 4)

by JL Madore

  Samuel shifted his arm to fall heavy across my shoulders. He pulled me close to his side and winked with a rascal’s charm. “Aye, A mhuirnin. Ye can be a wee bit blunt, but I’ll take it over shinin’ me on, any day. And yer right. Ye see, I have a bit of a family rift myself.”

  “And what is yours about?”

  “Let’s say, Da expected me to follow in his footsteps but my love for magic forced me to my own path.” He cast me a sideways glance. “Ironic really considering where I ended up. The Fates possess a twisted sense of humor. Crafty bitches.”

  I wanted so much to question him further, but the sorrow in his eyes spoke of a pain beyond my right to ask.

  “Believe me when I tell ye, I know what it’s like to feel cast out and adrift.” He pointed to a group of birds with long black necks and ivory chins waddling beside the pond. “There’s your gaggle of geese from the other day. See, they’ve glutted on the young grass and are ready to fly off and start their spring adventures.”

  The gaggle, as Samuel called it, pulled and snatched at the fledgling grasses around the edge of the pond. Aggressive little beasties. When one slighted another, they fanned out their wings, flapped in a fury and squawked their offenses.

  Such odd creatures. Graceful in flight yet so awkward waddling along the pond’s edge. How many survived their journey? How many fell prey to foul weather, exhaustion, or some unforeseen obstacle? Where was home for them when they were forced to migrate for survival?

  Leaving Glass Pond behind, Samuel and I climbed the steady incline toward the peak that housed the Dens. The plateau was several hundred feet up, the climb a lovely exertion of energies. Bruin was sweet to offer me a place in his home, but again, it was his home. I doubted I would feel any more belonging there than at Jade’s.

  Would I ever find my place? Would I ever feel content to the depths of my bones?

  I feared not.

  CHAPTER NINE

  I am a corpse, lain out on a slab, rolling through a maze of damp tunnels. The fuzzy hum circling my mind presses heavy. The flickering light of torches registers, their rhythmic interjection of golden strobes alternating with the darkness. My eyes are open, but I cannot see. Cannot move. The weight of impotence crushes my chest, forces air from my lungs until breath is a forgotten luxury.

  My journey stops. I am aware of everything and yet nothing. Sensations burst through my fog until I am certain I will vomit from the bombardment: the scent of roasted pig, the sweet pungency of ale, the brilliance of light refracting off light fixtures above, the cacophony of male voices. . ..

  Jeers and deep-throated laughter fill my ears as the stench of male lust fills my sinuses. The reek of it suffocates. I want to hold my breath, but gasp for air. I feel the vile touch of gazes upon me. They slither over my skin like cold-blooded serpents. I push against the weight, but my limbs are dead, my voice unheard. My eyes blur as I pray to my gods and my brother. No one comes. I am alone.

  When my lungs collapse upon themselves I am relieved. With the coming blackness, I wait for death to take me. To release me from this nightmare.

  I came awake to a shrill, horrifying scream. With my mouth stretched wide and my throat burning, bile rushed into my mouth. I bolted up to sit and clamped both hands over my mouth to silence the din. Movement in the far corner of the room had me scrambling in my sheets.

  It took a split second to focus, but there was nothing. Had I dreamed it? Was some figment of my nightmare bubbling up to the surface of my subconscious?

  Racked by a clammy sweat, I leaned to the side and grabbed the basin now standing vigil beside my bed. I propped it between my knees and when the muscles in my stomach tightened and pitched, I retched. Nothing came.

  Four nights since Abaddon groped me in the forest. Four nights since I came to live with Bruin and his family of Weres. And after four nights of this nightmare madness, I stopped eating evening repast. Tears flowed silently down my cheeks. I sat in the darkness and waited, listening, hoping.

  Down the corridor the cubs started to cry. First one, then the next, then the others. Stirred from their innocent dreams by my night terrors, I managed, yet again, to wake the entire den of Weres.

  I threw the layers of bedding back and set the waste basket on the floor. After checking my balance, I clicked on the lamp, and swiped at my damp cheeks and forehead.

  “Keep it up, Ryanne,” I mumbled to myself, tying the belt of the robe. “You will be turned out before you know it.”

  “Dinnae worry about the quads,” Samuel yawned, padding barefoot in his pajama pants across the threshold which joined our bed chambers. He picked up the robe Mika lent me and slipped it over my shoulders. “They’ll settle soon enough.”

  I froze in place, my mind racing. Had Samuel heard me speak my soul name aloud? He scrubbed his fingers through his mish-mashed hair. Mayhap he was too groggy to register my words.

  Please, gods, let that be the case.

  Oblivious to my panic, Samuel rambled on still half asleep. I exhaled and listened to his running commentary. “—the new Prime Puma sent his niece, Ceri, to live in as a nanny as a peace offering. Cowboy said he’s kissing ass after his predecessor refused Bruin’s claim as king and helped Abaddon capture Mika. Anyway, I’m sure Ceri will settle them before ye know it.”

  “I am sure she is not ready for all four to be up at once.”

  “Good practice.” Turning me by the shoulders, Samuel pointed me toward the bed and gave a gentle shove. When the knock came, he shuffled back the other way and reached for the handle of the door. He opened the portal enough to poke his head out. By the deep bass of the male grumblings, I assumed he assured Bruin all was well.

  “Apologies, Bruin,” I said. Samuel waved my concerns away, closed the door and shuffled back to where I stood. I brushed a piece of loose hair from my eyes. “It is my fault the young are awake. I should at least aid—”

  He caught me around the waist and directed me back toward the bed. “What ye should do is mind yer guardian, crawl back into bed and try for some solid sleep.”

  Samuel stood in front of me, hands on his bare hip bones. My ability to speak vanished. The tiny nubs of his nipples peeked out from beneath dark chest hair. A short thicket of ebony covered his pectorals, thinned and trailed down to the waistband of his tartan flannel pants.

  Highborne skin was bare, Samuel’s was not.

  My fingers itched to touch, to explore. Tight muscles. Tanned skin. Would the hair be fine or coarse? I was about to ask if I could touch it when I caught his frown.

  With his hair standing up like a cockerel’s comb, he raised a brow and pointed to my quilts. “Back to bed, please.”

  Giving in, I pulled the tie on the robe and tossed it back to the dresser. When he spun to give me his back, I laughed. “Why are Humans so bashful about nakedness? A body is a body. You have one. I have one. Elves give it no thought.”

  “I’m not bashful, Lia.” The low, husky timbre of his voice quickened my pulse. “I appreciate naked as much as the next fella, but after what ye’ve been through and how yer family hates me, I’d never hurt Jade by giving them cause for upset. The last thing she needs is more Highborne drama.”

  Of course. It always came back to Jade. I folded myself into the fleeting warmth of my sheets. Reaching behind my head, I yanked the length of my braid free and laid it over my shoulder. “How can you say we are friends and, in the next breath, say Highborne as if my race were a disease you find yourself inflicted with? For a male appointed to guard my safety and my rights, you do nothing to guard my feelings.”

  Facing the wall opposite me, his head dropped and he gave off a rush of smoky emotion. When he turned, his opal eyes glittered with remorse. “I didn’t mean you.”

  “Just my brother, the male who raised and cared for me since the day of my birthing.”

  Samuel bit his bottom lip. “Point taken. I’ll do better.”

  “Fine. Now, if that is all, mayhap we could both get a little rest before the
sun rises.”

  He stood his ground.

  “Is there something more you wish to say?”

  “Jade said insomnia can be dangerous for Highbornes. She said something about Aust and Scarlet Death? I promised I would ensure you were sleeping enough.”

  Ignoring the musky scent Samuel gave off when he spoke of Jade, I bit my tongue. The memory of Aust suffering from scareg morttha gave me chills. I gathered the blankets and pulled the bulk tighter around me. Though nightmares interrupted my dreams since I arrived, I was nowhere near the danger of that horrid affliction. Aust went without reverie for months before he began to exsanguinate back in August.

  “Fash not. The next time I speak with Jade, I shall tell her you were intent on expressing her concerns. She will be so pleased with you.”

  Samuel frowned, pulling the mauve and black duvet high enough to cover my neck. Then he tucked down the sides of my body until I was snug as a first repast sausage. “Dinnae be catty, duck. I’m here because I want to be. I worry about yer well-being the same as hers.”

  None of the replies running through my mind were kind, so I remained silent.

  He sighed. “Okay, so tonight let’s try something different.” Grabbing the throw from the blanket box at the footboard, he circled the bed. The mattress dipped as he climbed up on the other side. After angling the pillows until he was satisfied, he spread the blanket over himself, rolled on his side and stared at me. “Close your eyes.”

  I laughed. “You cannot seriously think you are spending the night in my bed. What if someone walks in? You saw how Galan reacted when you were clothed and slept on my sofa. He would lose his sanity if he found you in my bed.”

  He pulled his wand from the pocket of his flannel pants and spoke in his magic language. “The suite is now spelled for privacy. No one can barge in, so yer stuck with me.”

  Unbidden, my gaze traveled over the smooth lines of his shoulders, down the taut muscles of his abdominals to where his navel disappeared beneath the blanket.

  He chucked my chin up to meet his gaze, the corners of his mouth twitching. “A body is a body, right? Highbornes think nothing of nakedness?”

  My ears flushed hot. “Nothing at all.”

  Samuel smiled and yawned. “Besides, I’m on yer bed, not in it. And I’m staying. The nightmares started since ye moved here. I figure ye must either miss Galan or ye don’t feel safe. Either way, a little company might help. We’ll give this a try. If it doesna work, ye can wake everyone up in an hour with yer screamin, no harm done.”

  The last thing I wanted was to keep everyone awake again tonight, but if Galan caught Samuel in my bed there would be more than Highborne drama. There would be bloodshed.

  “Besides,” he continued, tugging at me until I relented and sank against my pillow, “we’ve a morning meeting with Reign and we’ll both be useless if we dinnae get some sleep.”

  “A meeting?”

  Rolling on his back, he closed his eyes. “Aye, lass. Reign’s letting us use his private library to research some of the laws of what Abaddon’s claim might mean.”

  My heart stuttered. “Did you hear from Castian? When do we appear before the Fates? Why did you not tell me?”

  Samuel’s chest rose and fell, his face relaxed. “Trust me, Lia. I’ll tell ye everything I know when I know it. Ye do trust me, aye?”

  “Yes.”

  “Right, so let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Tonight, we sleep. Tomorrow we’ll see where Abaddon’s claim stands in the eyes of the Fates and realm law.”

  “How am I supposed to sleep now?”

  He opened his eyes and sighed. “Exactly why I dinnae tell you. Now close those lovely blues and we’ll think on it tomorrow. I swear there’ll be time enough to worry when we’re rested.”

  The genuine exhaustion on his face stopped me from arguing further. In the void of light and conversation, I lay rigidly still. It was strange though, that sense of comfort despite the awkward restlessness. Mayhap he was correct about his presence warding against my nightmares. There was something easing in the knowledge he was on the other side of the bed. I felt as safe with him as I had with no one other than my brother.

  But Samuel was not my brother.

  I inhaled, his scent triggering an entirely different reaction. Goddess, this was going to be a long night.

  “All right,” I said. “Tomorrow.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  The haze of morning brought the most delicious sensations. The warmth of a touch moving from my arm to my waist. Lips on my throat. A gentle suckling at my skin. With closed eyes, I lifted my chin to grant access to my throat.

  I liked this dream. My lips parted as a male groaned and waded through the sheets. With the barrier between two bodies eliminated, flesh met flesh. Something hard pressed into my hip. He groaned louder. A heavy leg shifted across both of mine, gathering me flush to his body.

  His hips ebbed against me like a lazy tide advancing on the shore. The rhythmic surge of forward and back brought struck a tingle between my legs. The heat and the strength of him. The softness of his skin against the coarseness of his body hair. Something needy unfurled in my belly.

  Strong arms wrapped around me as lips took my mouth.

  My eyes flew open. Samuel. A luxurious hunger covered his face. The scent of arousal intoxicated. Neither tentative nor restrained he thrust again. Sure hands ran down my bare back and cupped the rounds of my backside.

  Tentatively, I braced my hands on his chest. “Samuel?”

  He drew back, his diamond white stare sharpening from sleep into full awareness. “Lia? Shit!" He wrenched himself away, flung off the bedding and leapt to his feet. I . . . uh.”

  My heart raced from the warmth of unbridled lust.

  “I’m sorry, Lia. I never wanted ye. . .”

  His words slapped me. Mayhap in his dream state, it had not been me he was pleasuring. With his back to me, he scrubbed his neck and exhaled.

  “Was it Jade?” I wrapped the quilts around myself. “Was it her you dreamt of whilst lying next to me?”

  “What?” He cast a seething glance over his shoulder before bolting for the ensuite which connected our rooms. “It was a mistake. It just shouldna happened. I cannae say how sorry I am that it did.”

  It was nine when I trudged my way down the stone corridors of the Dens toward the dining hall. That this place was built deep inside a mountain amazed me. That it felt warm and homey, even more so. I rubbed my temples, my head having exploded into a migraine after Samuel stormed from my suite.

  Why bring Jade into it? Samuel’s thoughts and actions while sleeping were naught for me to judge. I should have allowed the awkward moment to pass. Instead, I humiliated him further by picking at old wounds. The warmth kindled in his eyes of late had extinguished in an instant.

  Yet another thing ruined.

  “Oh. She lives,” Cowboy said.

  As they always did, each of the males at the table rose as a female entered the room. This late in the morning though, the usual crowd of two dozen Weres had cleared out and only Cowboy, Bruin, Mika, and Bree remained. Samuel’s absence hit me with crippling desolation.

  Bruin strode to the empty seat opposite his mate and pulled out the chair for me. “We worried you weren’t feeling well. You’re usually up with the birds.”

  I rubbed my hand over my brow as they reclaimed their seats. Why choose this morning to make me the center of conversation? I selected a plate from the buffet and after collecting a napkin and cutlery, accepted the seat Bruin offered.

  May the gods bless him, Bruin dimmed the lights as he strode back to his seat. The wooden chair creaked under his solid frame as he rested his arm across the back of Mika’s chair. Absently, he played with her long chestnut ponytail. The two of them were lovely together. The ease they shared. Their affection.

  Bruin held his hand up and a tall glass of offensive smelling liquid appeared. He flipped back his shaggy brown bangs, his turquoise gaze all too knowing. �
�A cure-all for a rough morning.”

  I squinted his way, my head drumming out an incessant rhythm. “Apologies?”

  “This is your first headache since you got here, isn’t it?” Mika asked.

  I nodded and sniffed the rim of the glass Bruin gave me. My eyes burned and I thrust the glass away from my nose. “I think I would rather suffer.”

  “Nonsense,” Bruin said. “Suck it back.”

  Not wanting to argue with the Alpha, I swallowed the first few gulps then let the rest slither down the back of my throat. My entire body shuddered and fought the urge to heave. Closing my eyes helped. I breathed in and out of my nose and after a few moments, the throbbing echo in my skull did, indeed, start to subside.

  “Better?” Bree asked from the end of the table. Even in jeans and a t-shirt, the female of Aust’s affections held an admirable strength. She survived the violence of the Scourge, but showed no sign of being left lesser because of it. Her warm amber eyes held sympathy, her coyote much too clever to mistake my state for a simple headache.

  I speared fruit and pastries from the plates on the table and forced a smile. “Yes, gratitude.”

  She stood and gathered her lab coat from where it hung over the back of her chair. “Wolf, I need you in my lab this afternoon for blood work—no excuses. If you don’t show, I’ll track you down like the dog you are.”

  “Promises, promises,” he said, reaching for a platter of bacon from the center of the table and tossing a slice at each of the lion cubs wrestling on the floor. The cubs, distracted by the meat bombardment, snatched up the bacon, swatting and growling at their siblings.

  Bree rolled her eyes. “I’m serious, Wolf. Be there or face my wrath.”

  He barked out a laugh. “All the sass of a mate and none of the sugar.” She smacked him on the back of the head and he laughed harder.

  “Laters, everybody. Don’t wait up.”

  “You working at the Hearthstone tonight?” Mika asked, slapping Cowboy’s wrist as he made to throw another round of bacon to the four furry fiends now gathering around his chair.