Blythe even comes to practice and Brian spends the entire water break talking to her. She seems happy, as she looks up at me on the bleachers and smiles. Brian is only concentrating on her; I’ve never seen him like this with a girl. He grabs her hand from over the fence and pulls himself up to kiss her, which isn’t lost on all the other cheerleaders who are visibly irritated.
During the same break, Ryan is holding Gretchen's hand and their foreheads are pressed together. They are so deep in whatever it is they are doing that they don’t even notice Brian and Blythe. This is how it should be, finally. An even better bonus, RTS and Todd are still at Sour Lollipops rehearsal so I don’t have to watch them “talk”. I have been so caught up in Brian and Ryan this week that I barely have had time to really think about the Todd, RTS situation, which is slightly irritating but it’s kind of nice to have something to take my mind off of it.
Just as I realize I am awkwardly staring at Ryan and Gretch, I see Todd jogging onto the field in his pads and uniform. The sunlight dreamily bounces off his hair as he glides across the field. I have a new appreciation for his football uniform, it accentuates his every perfection; his arms are tone, his thighs look amazing, even the shoulder pads perfectly offset the side sweep of his hair. It is like I am watching a movie. How is it possible that I could have known someone so beautiful my entire life and not have realized how incredible he is until now? I now fully and truly understand his nickname at school, "God Todd".
Whoever came up with that is a genius.
“Hi, Ashley, it’s nice to see you, too. “ I hear from far off in the distance. The voice sounds really familiar. I turn in the direction it is coming from and Shane is standing there with his hands on his hips and an irritated look on his face.
“How many times did you say my name?” I ask, ashamed.
“At least ten." He looks out at the field. "He does look pretty hot in his uniform.” He smiles as he sits down next to me.
“I know, right! See, I couldn’t help it. It’s like your eyes are drawn to him.” I’m so happy Shane and I have yet one more thing in common and we can both finally be totally honest with each other.
“Where’s Sid?” I ask, realizing she is usually here when Shane comes back from rehearsal.
“I guess the band is on an extra-long break today,” Shane says as he gestures toward the side fence with his head.
Sid and Simon are in their own deep conversation. She really does look happy. I’m glad she’s found a boy who likes her for her. Seeing Sid and Simon makes me realize that this is exactly what Blythe meant yesterday.
Shane leans in and lowers his voice, “But since she’s not back yet, I have to tell you, I had an interesting talk with RTS today before rehearsal.”
“Really? What did she say? Was it about Todd?” I ask, getting excited.
“No, it was about the weather, but I thought you’d be interested. Of course it’s about Todd.”
“HA. HA. You’re so funny.”
“I asked how things were going with Todd,” Shane says matter of factly.
“You did?” I smack him on the shoulder.
“Well, I was curious and you were never going to ask. Anyway, she said things were good, but she was getting a little frustrated because he didn’t seem to want to even hold hands at school.”
“Are you sure he’s not on your team?” I question, only half joking.
“Ashley, I’m sure." Shane looks out at the field to watch the team running drills. "She started talking about the tension between Brian and Ryan like it was a given and everyone knew about it. She said it’s really bothering Todd.”
“Has Todd said anything to you?” I figure they are at practice together every day, so maybe he’s mentioned it to Shane, too.
“No. Nothing.” Shane shakes his head.
“Well RTS is besties with Gretchen, so I’m sure she knows about everything.”
“True, but do you think Todd's just using this whole thing as an excuse to avoid getting more serious with RTS? I mean, you can see Ryan really likes Gretchen. It’s not like that with Todd and RTS,” Shane says, theorizing.
I feel a surge of joy race through my body. I’ve been thinking the exact same thing since they "officially" started dating, but I thought it was just my wishful thinking.
“You were thinking the same thing, weren’t you?” He tries to hide his smile. He knows me too well.
“Well, I’ve thought that from the beginning, but I think I just want it to be true; I’m not sure it really is.”
“I think you're right. “ Shane smiles.
“Really? You do?” I can’t contain my excitement. “Wait. About what part? It being true or me wanting it to be true?"
"That Todd doesn't really like RTS as much as she likes him."
I grab his arm. "Shane, you have to ask him!”
“What?” He raises his eyebrows and his eyes grow to twice their normal size.
“You have to ask Todd. You're friends. I mean you're in a band together.”
“Oh, yeah, sure, I’ll just go up to him and say, ‘Todd you’re just dating Rebecca because it’s easy, right? You don’t actually like her?’ I don’t think so.”
“Okay, well, you don’t need to put it quite like that. Maybe we should have Sid do it,” I say under my breath, thinking it through a little more.
“You are crazy. The truth will come out. You just have to be patient,” Shane says, adopting a fatherly tone.
“Okay, oh-great-wise-one.” I hate when he uses this I-know-more-than-you tone.
Suddenly, the air fills with noise signaling the end of our conversation as the marching band makes their way back out onto the field and Sid makes her way up the bleachers.
“Do you think Todd really likes Rebecca?” I ask as soon as she sits down. Her eyes widen with surprise.
“We were just wondering because Rebecca mentioned he isn’t into PDA at rehearsal.” Shane tries to justify the sudden interest.
“I don’t know. He doesn’t really talk about her at home.” Sid shrugs off the question.
“Do your parents know he’s dating her?” I’m not going to let this go so easily and I’m feeling pretty brave.
Sid gives me a look, like are we really still talking about this before she answers, “Yes, but only because she calls and texts him all the time.”
“Has she come over for dinner?” I’m not even sure why I ask, I just want to know. I’ve been to Sid's house a million times for dinner, but I’m not sure that counts.
“No, but they’ve only been dating for a week. My parents know her from games and stuff. Why do you guys care?"
Shane and I look at each other. "We just have a theory," Shane says. I am so happy he takes that one.
"What is it?" Sid asks, curious.
"We think Rebecca is more of a convenience than a crush for Todd." Shane is so good with words; thankfully.
Sid takes a minute to really ponder this. Her face suddenly lights up and she sits up a little straighter. "I think you're right!" she says, getting more excited. "I never really thought about it, but he never talks about her. And even when I push for details, he never wants to talk about it."
We all just look at each other in silence. My surge of joy is back.
"Okay, Shane, your mission is to find out Todd's true feelings." I am giving an order more than asking this time.
"Yes. It's perfect! He won't tell me. And it doesn't make sense for Ash to ask him, but you are in rehearsals with him every day. It's the perfect place to bring it up," Sid says, planning the entire conversation in her head already.
"Except for the fact that Rebecca is there, too." Shane looks at us like we are insane.
"Oh, come on. You'll figure it out," I say, latching on to Sid's enthusiasm. It is fun to have Sid in on it, too; even if she has no idea why I really want to know the truth. She isn’t hard to convince, she’ll do almost anything to have one up on Todd.
"Okay, so you'll report back to us. Same ti
me. Same place," Sid chimes in. We are a good team. Especially when it comes to convincing Shane.
"Right," Shane says, dismissing both of us.
"Shane you better come through. We're counting on you." I throw in a little extra guilt to finish it off. I know Shane won’t be able to resist.
Chapter 10: More Rumors
It is the week of the big game, us versus the Wildcats. This is even bigger than our homecoming game. We play the Wildcats every year, but this year, this game will determine so much. Since both teams are undefeated, whoever wins will go on to the state championships. College scouts are coming so there is added pressure and, if we lose, it will be the last game of the year. Everyone knows how much is riding on this game and you can feel the energy in the halls.
Other than the fact that the biggest game of the year is this Friday, it is a typical Monday. As per our new normal, Sid is spending more time with Simon and Shane is at Sour Lollipops rehearsals, so I am alone at my locker a lot these days.
We get out of Spanish a little early because Senora Gonzales has a migraine. Besides, let's face it, she couldn’t care less if we actually learn Spanish or not. The hallway is silent; it’s nice to be the only one in the hall for once and not have to deal with pushing through crowds just to get to my locker.
While I am arranging my books, I hear voices coming from The Quad right down the hall. Familiar voices. It’s Brian, but who is he talking to? I need to be discreet; I don’t want anyone to know I’m here. I’m able to hide behind my locker door and, if I stand on my tiptoes, I can see through the slats. It’s Gretchen! By some miracle I can hear them perfectly, even though they are talking softly. This is yet another time that the teasing closeness of The Quad is proving to be a real positive.
"Gretch, I'm being honest. I know you don't want to believe it, but Ryan and Blythe are together."
What? I have to use all my might not to react out loud or move a muscle.
"How do you know Brian?" Gretch sounds really upset.
"When I went out with Blythe this weekend, I knew something was up and I finally got her to admit she likes Ryan."
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean they did anything." Gretchen shakes her head in disbelief.
"You're right, but I saw them together." Brian pulls her closer to him.
When? It sounds like Brian is making this up.
"When?" Gretch asks. For once we are on the same page.
"Listen, I know you really care about him and it's hard for me to tell you this because I care about you," he says as he strokes her hair away from her face.
"When did you see them, Brian?" Gretchen asks again. She sounds upset and frustrated. Through the slats of my locker I can see she is starting to cry when Brian wipes a tear away with his thumb. Then he leans in and kisses her. She kisses him back as a natural reflex and then pushes him away.
"Brian what are you doing?" She is clearly angry and her voice is shaky.
"Come on, Gretch, you know we've always belonged together. So if Ryan and Blythe want to be together, why not let them?" Brian pulls her back to him. He is so convincing and really good-looking when he is pretending to be sincere.
This can't be true. Brian has to be lying. What is going on? Ryan never went anywhere this weekend and he was constantly talking to Gretchen on the phone. I think about going over there, but before I can, I see Gretchen hug him. She is crying into his chest and he is gently rubbing her back. I can’t watch anymore of this; I feel a burning in my stomach I am so angry. I need to talk to Ryan. I need the truth.
"Oh, hey, Todd." I hear them both say. I quickly step back up on my tiptoes to see. Brian and Gretchen are already standing apart and Gretchen is trying to hide the fact that she’s been crying. Did Todd see them together?
"What's going on?" Todd asks and from his tone he must have seen something.
"Nothing," Gretchen responds while quickly wiping her face and pretending she has something in her eye.
"Are you sure?" Todd questions, looking right at Brian.
"Yeah, everything is good," Brian says, clearly lying. Todd isn’t stupid. He's known Brian for too long to be fooled by his charm and charisma.
"Well, I've gotta get to practice. Bye, guys," Gretchen says and she disappears before either of them can respond; leaving both of them alone.
"What is going on, Brian? She was obviously crying," Todd asks, making it clear he isn’t going to drop this. He has never been one to back down from a challenge or walk away when he knows something isn’t right. It’s just one more thing that I love about him.
"She was upset about Ryan; I was just comforting her," Brian says, recognizing Todd isn’t going to drop this. I can't help thinking, she wouldn't have been upset if you weren't lying to her!
"Don't do this, Brian. Don't get between them. It's not worth it." Wow, he knows Brian too well. I really am impressed.
"Nothing is going on," Brian says, getting angrier.
"I will tell Ryan." Todd steps closer to him and I can tell that Brian knows exactly what he means; he doesn’t need to say another word. That's the other thing about Todd, he's really honest. I'm glad he's got my brother’s back. Brian obviously doesn't.
"There's nothing to tell, but thanks for the vote of confidence." Brian takes a step closer to Todd, making it clear he isn’t going to back down, either.
"I saw you two. I know what I saw. Just think about what you are doing. That's all I'm saying." It is clear Todd cares about Brian and all of their friendships, but before they can say anything else, the dismissal bell rings and the hallway instantly starts to fill with people. I can't hear or see anything else. The only positive is the crowded halls are the perfect camouflage and no one will know I’ve been standing there.
What do I do? Do I talk to Ryan? Blythe? Todd? I need advice; where are Sid and Shane when you need them? I need to get the truth. As if someone answers my question for me, I see Blythe coming down the hall.
"Hey, Blythe." She’s in a zone of deep thought, so I wave my hand to get her attention.
"Oh, hey, Ash!" She looks at me and I can tell something is up.
"Can I talk to you?"
"Sure," she says, welcoming the conversation to start.
"Not here."
"Okay, come to my locker with me." She realizes how full the hallway is. "Then, we'll go to my car."
Just then, Todd and Brian are coming down the hall with definite tension between them.
"Hey, Ash!" they both say, but only Todd acknowledges Blythe. Brian is stone-faced, as if no one is standing next to me.
After they are far enough down the hall, I whisper, "WHAT. WAS. THAT. What happened?"
"Car," Blythe responds.
It feels like twenty years before we finally make it to her white BMW. I've never been in Blythe's car. It is all beige leather inside and it still has that new car smell. It is really nice and clean, but her cool vibe resonates throughout the interior. She has a dream catcher hanging from the rearview mirror and there are photos of her friends from home taped up all over the dashboard. I'm sure her dad loves that she’s taped pictures on her extremely nice, extremely new car; somehow I don’t think Blythe cares. Of course it’s a stick shift; I think only really cool people know how to drive a stick shift. Automatic cars are so easy, they don't require any work. With a stick, you have to work for your ride. Plus, you just look cooler driving one.
Once we are finally inside, I can't wait any longer. "What is going on?"
"Well, you might have noticed Brian isn't talking to me."
"Yeah, I did notice. That's why I'm asking, for the millionth time, what's going on?"
She squints her eyes. "But you wanted to talk before that, so what's going on with you?" Man, she's good, and unfortunately, she's right.
"Okay, true, but what I was going to ask you is directly related to what I think you might have to tell me!"
"What is going on with you, Ash?"
I sit back in the soft leather bucket seat and take a
deep breath. "I overheard Brian and Gretchen talking." I wait a second for a reaction and there isn’t one. This is totally different than talking to Sid and Shane, but I continue, "Brian was telling her that you and Ryan are together, he said you liked Ryan and you were both together behind their backs." It all comes out as one long sentence.
"What? He told Gretchen that?" This is the reaction I’ve been waiting for. "Gretchen?" she asks again.
"Yes. I thought he was lying, but I wasn't sure." I look down at my shoes, afraid to look at her just in case Brian is being honest.
"He is more than lying, he's trying to start trouble." Her anger is building.
"Well, what really happened?" I want to believe her, but I’m still apprehensive.
"I told him the truth. I told him I just wanted to be friends. I was honest because I thought it would solve everything, not make things worse." She stops and I can tell she is thinking about something. "I told him I liked Ryan." She shakes her head, realizing what Brian is doing as she says it out loud.
"I knew it!" Relief floods through me.
"But I never told him we were together. That one he's making up on his own." She is so angry, her southern accent is the thickest I’ve ever heard it. She has to be telling the truth. "How could he do that to one of his best friends? What did Gretchen say?"
"She didn't believe him at first, but he was really convincing. I mean, I even started to believe him."
Blythe doesn’t say anything for a minute, then she starts a confessional as she stares out the front window. "Brian told me how he really felt. He was honest for once and he said he really cared about me, but it just made me realize that it isn’t there for me. I thought about pretending I had stronger feelings for him and I almost did, but I couldn't do it. I wouldn't want anyone to lie to me about their feelings." It’s clear Blythe needs to get this off her chest so I don’t dare interrupt. "I had to tell him the truth. I told him I really liked him, but as a friend and I had feelings for someone else. He kept pushing, saying he had to know who, so I finally told him it was Ryan. I just wanted to be honest, get it all out in the open. I didn't mean to make things worse. You have to believe me, Ash." She finally turns to look at me, I forgot what an awesome color green her eyes are. They’re like a bright sea green encircled with a deep emerald and they are filled with sincere honesty.
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