Sid and I start screaming and jumping up and down. “They won! They won!” We can’t say anything else. Shane is so excited, he starts jumping up and down and screaming with us. I can’t believe they won! With all the pressure, fighting and lies… they won! I am so relieved. It is like I can finally breathe for the first time since everything started.
Brian sprints up to Gretchen and hugs her while Ryan jogs off the field, not acknowledging anyone on the sidelines. I can tell Gretchen is taken off guard. Everyone else is so caught up in the excitement, I don’t think they really notice.
We are all replaying the game on the bleachers as the crowd clears out when we hear a rumor there is a big fight in the locker room. My heart drops and we all just look at each other.
I don’t remember running down the bleachers, but before I know it, we are all standing outside the locker room. Gretchen and RTS are already there along with most of the cheerleaders. We all hear a loud clanging like fists or something hitting metal. No one knows exactly who is fighting, but I have a good idea. In-between what sounds like bodies being slammed into lockers, there is a lot of shouting. All of a sudden, I feel a cold, wet drop on my arm. I look up to see the black sky is dotted with moving puffs of deep grey and drops of rain have started to drizzle down on us.
“I know you are with her… How could you?” I hear Ryan clearly, we all do, and my attention is snapped back to the fight. “We’ve been best friends since pre-school.”
“How could you?” Brian says.
“I did nothing. You lied to Gretchen,” Ryan shouts back.
I look over at Gretchen; she has her hand over her mouth.
“It wasn’t a lie,” Brian says.
“Blythe and I did nothing.” Ryan really over enunciates each word. “She kissed me and it was a mistake. You knew that. We are just friends. Friends, Brian. Something I don’t think you know anything about. We almost lost that game because of you.” His voice cracks from screaming so loud. I’ve never heard my brother so angry.
“That’s Bullshit,” Brian shouts.
“You don’t care about Gretchen. You only care about Brian. You couldn’t stand the fact that someone didn’t like you for once in your life.”
“I love her.” Brian starts backtracking, realizing what he has just said.
“You love her? What. You love her.” The first one is a real question, the rest are more like statements that Ryan makes in disbelief. “You love yourself. I don’t think you know what real love is. You lied to my face for so long. We are finished.” There is a lot of loud clanging and a big scuffle.
“Back off guys” I hear Todd and some of the players start shouting.
At that point, coach comes in and we hear his voice over everyone’s. “What is going on in here?”
Ryan comes storming out with his face pretty bloody and Gretchen goes running up to him. “I’m so sorry.” Tears are streaming down her face.
Ryan pushes passed her, not even acknowledging her.
“How could you, Ash? You knew the entire time?” he screams in my face. Our parents come running up about that time, but he pushes passed them as well.
“I’ve gotta get out of here, Dad.” He turns back to my parents long enough to acknowledge them at least that much as he continues walking to the parking lot.
I march up to Gretchen who is hysterical and I scream, “This is all your fault.” I want to hit her so badly, but I know I need to try to stop Ryan before he drives away this angry. That is the worst thing he could do and I know that’s where he is going.
Todd comes running out. His nose is bleeding, among other things. “Where’d he go?”
I point toward the parking lot. Todd takes off running and I follow behind. When we get there, Brian and Gretchen are right behind us. Brian is pretty beat up, too. The cut above his eye has reopened and he is holding his head back to stop his nose from bleeding. I notice his knuckles are scraped and bloody.
“He left? In his car?” Brian asks, shocked. “Let’s go,” he says to Gretchen as he grabs her by the hand. She pulls her hand away and then follows him to his car; she can’t even look at me.
“I don’t know if it’s the best idea for you two to go after him.” Todd grabs Brian by the shoulder.
“Back off, Todd!” Brian pushes him back. “I need to go.”
“Alright, we’re right behind you,” Todd says as we both jump into his Volvo. “You’re gonna need some help if you do catch up to him.”
Chapter 12: In an Instant
Ryan is so fast, he’s already left the parking lot, but we all have an idea of the direction he is headed; so we follow behind Brian’s car. Since Brian is an only child, he pretty much gets whatever he wants and when he turned sixteen, he got a brand new BMW. Brian’s tires screech as he speeds out of the parking lot.
I’m with Todd in his old Volvo and it smells exactly like him. Under any other circumstances, this would be amazing. He keeps right up with Brian; we are going incredibly fast and it’s starting to rain harder. I look over at him and his nose is really bleeding. I take off my sweater and hand it to him. “Here, for your nose.”
He quickly glances over and smiles. “Thanks, Ash. Don’t worry; he’s going to be fine.”
“I hope you’re right. He’s so mad at me.” I shake my head.
“Yeah, he’s pretty mad at me, too, but I think he gets why we kept it from him.”
“You do?” I ask. “I hope so,” I say more to myself. I can’t believe this is how this is going to end, Ryan hating me.
Todd reaches over, puts his hand on my knee and gently squeezes it. His touch alone is reassuring and at the same time it makes my heart pick up speed. The rain is really beating down on the windshield now and the wipers can’t keep up with how fast it’s coming down.
“Are you hurt?” He looks terrible, but somehow he is still perfect. His hair is wet and hanging in his eyes. His face is soaked from the rain, which makes the watered down blood look even worse.
He glances back over at me. “I’m okay.”
I’m not sure he’d admit if he’s hurt or if he’d even know; his adrenaline is on overdrive.
“Brian’s going really fast,” Todd says as he tries to peer through the rain-soaked windshield. The red needle on the speedometer is over sixty and I know the speed limit is only thirty-five in this area. There are a lot of curves on this road and the rain isn’t making it any easier. “He’s all over the place, too. What is he doing?”
Before Todd can finish his thought, Brian’s car swerves. All of a sudden, Brian slams on his breaks and his car starts to spin. That’s when the world goes into slow motion. I see head lights, tail lights, head lights, tail lights as I watch his car spin off the road and into the wooded area that lines the side of the street. Then we hear a horrible, metal crunching sound.
“Oh, my God!” we both scream. Todd pulls off the road behind Brian’s car.
“Call 911, Ash,” Todd says as he runs out toward their car. It is so dark now that we are off the main road, the only light is from Todd’s headlights, but I can see crushed metal and glass everywhere. A terrible, smoky, burnt rubber smell fills the air. It looks like the back of Brian’s car hit the tree first and then his side slammed into it. Todd runs over to Brian’s side of the car, my hands are shaking as I try to dial 911. Think, Ashley, Think. It’s only seconds, but it feels like hours when I finally manage to make the call.
“Help is coming.” I scream over to Todd as I run to Gretchen’s side of the car. There is blood everywhere. Gretchen looks pretty bad, but she is awake and talking, which is a huge relief.
“I’m so sorry, Ashley. I didn’t mean anything. I love your brother. Is Brian okay? Brian? I can’t see him.” Her head is turned toward me and the way she is pinned, it makes it impossible for her to turn toward Brian.
“Don’t move; help is coming,” Is all I keep saying; it’s all I can say. I don’t know what else to do. I’m not very good in emergency situations; I guess I take
after my dad when blood is involved. It all seems so surreal, as if it’s not really happening. I feel like I’m going to wake up any second. All of a sudden shouting brings me back to reality. Wait; who is shouting? It isn’t me or Gretchen… It’s Todd.
He is screaming Brian’s name over and over. “Brian… Brian… wake up, Brian!”
“Todd!” I shout over the car from Gretchen’s side. “How’s Brian?”
Silence.
Oh, my God! I think to myself. “Todd?” I scream. I need to hear from him.
“Um… not good.” His voice sounds strained like he’s been crying. “He’s not saying anything, Ash.”
“Help is coming.” Why is it taking so long?
“Brian! Brian, can you hear me?” Gretchen starts shouting frantically.
“Brian’s okay. Don’t worry,” I try to calm her down.
“I heard Todd; he’s not okay.” She is hysterical as she tries to turn her body to see him.
“Gretchen, you need to listen to me, he’s going to be fine,” I say, so sure that I almost believe myself, but I need to calm her down.
“Todd, are you still with me?” I shout over the car. “Todd, I need to hear you.”
“I’m here. He’s breathing.” My heart soars with relief and then I hear sirens in the distance. “Thank, God. Finally!” I whisper to myself.
“Gretchen, stay with me. Help is coming; it’s almost here.” She looks like she is getting tired. “Gretchen!” I shout her name. She looks at me and we make eye contact for the first time since the accident. “Keep looking at me. Just look at me, okay.”
“Ashley, I really love Ryan, you have to know that,” she says.
“I know. Just keep looking at me. Help is here.” The ambulance pulls up and it is finally true, help is really here. The flashing red lights from the ambulance light up the black sky and they accentuate just how bad the crash is.
Todd shouts, “He’s hurt, but he’s breathing.”
“Okay, thanks. We’ve got it from here.” The paramedic pats Todd on the shoulder as he rushes past him to help Brian.
We simply stand by and watch helplessly as the red and white flashing lights bounce off our faces. They take Brian out first; he is just lying there, motionless and covered in blood.
“We’re taking them to trauma at Lawrence,” the paramedic says.
“Ashley?” Gretchen calls as the paramedics are putting her in the ambulance.
“I’m here,” I say, running up to her.
“Call my parents, please.”
“We will; don’t worry. Hang in there,” I say. Hang in there? What a stupid thing to say.
“Are you two okay?” a police officer asks us. I guess we look like we could be hurt, too, since there is so much blood.
“We’re okay. We weren’t in the accident,” Todd says, remarkably calm.
“We’re going to need to ask you both a few questions, and then you can head to the hospital,” another officer says.
They quickly realize Brian just lost control of the car so they let us leave to go to the hospital, but before we do, Todd goes over to the broken car, which is filled with shattered glass and blood. He grabs Gretchen’s bag and Brian’s cell phone. He hands me Brian’s cell and I can instantly see there is text after text to Ryan.
Ryan
Stop
we need to tk
RYA
That is the last thing he typed before he lost control. I completely forgot about Ryan. He has no idea.
Once we are in Todd’s car I realize, for the first time, we are both soaked from the rain. My shoes are drenched and filled with mud while my clothes are clinging to my body. My arms are covered in goose bumps, but I am so numb I can’t even feel how cold I really am. Todd is trying to discreetly wipe tears away from his eyes as he drives. His shirt is saturated with so much blood, I can’t tell what is his and what is Brian’s. There are a thousand thoughts racing through my head as we make our way to the hospital.
“We need to tell Ryan,” is the first thing I say out loud. My voice sounds strange, unfamiliar.
Todd nods his head yes, but he doesn’t say anything.
“I’m going to call him,” I continue talking because I don’t know what else to do. My heart is pounding in my chest. How do you tell someone that the best friend you just told you never wanted to see again was in a really bad accident and that just might come true. His phone rings, and rings. He doesn’t pick up so I keep calling. Nothing.
“We need to call their parents.” Todd says, finally speaking. His voice sounds strained. I shake my head yes but that’s another call I definitely don’t want to make. We are almost to the hospital and when we pull up both Gretchen and Brian’s parents are already there. The police must have called them while they were still at the football field. I close my eyes grateful I’m not the one who has to tell them.
Brian’s parents come running up to us as soon as we walk through the hospital’s electric doors.
“How is he?” Todd asks, almost afraid to hear the answer.
I can tell Brian’s parents have been crying. “We don’t know yet. They told us to just wait here. Look at you.” Brian’s mom wipes blood away from Todd’s eye. “What happened?”
“We all got into a fight. Brian was going after Ryan and he lost control of his car. Gretchen was with him.”
“Did you see him?” Brian’s mom asks.
“We did, we were with him,” Todd says, trying not to break down in front of her. He just looks down and shakes his head. I know he doesn’t want to say anything else since there is nothing positive to say. Then he wipes his eyes with his soaked sleeve. “He’s going to be fine,” he says, taking a deep breath and finally looking up. He hugs Brian’s mom and she hugs him back.
“Where is Ryan?” Brian’s mom asks.
“He doesn’t know yet. We’re trying to get in touch with him.” Todd looks over at me.
“I’m going to keep trying,” I say, excusing myself to try to call Ryan again.
It just keeps ringing and ringing; no answer. Where is he? I try again and again. Come on, I know you're mad, but pick up. On the fourth ring, I hear a click. I think it is going to voice mail again, but then I hear his voice.
“Ash, don’t you know you’re not supposed to call someone when they’re driving," he says sarcastically angry, but I can tell he has calmed down. At least he is talking to me.
“Ryan, something bad happened.”
“Yeah, I know. My best friend lied to me, cheated with my girlfriend and my sister knew and didn’t tell me.”
Okay, so he is still angry. “No, something else. There was an accident. Where are you?”
“I’m driving back toward home. What happened?” I can tell I am on speakerphone because I can hear the rain pounding on the windshield in the background. I don’t really want to tell him while he is driving.
“Just come to Lawrence Hospital.” I try to sound calm.
“Ashley. What happened? Who is it?” He is getting angry and I can hear the nervousness in his voice. I don’t want anything else to happen tonight so I know I need to tell him now.
“It’s Brian and Gretchen. They were coming after you and they skidded off the road.”
“How bad?” he asks.
“Just come to the hospital.” I don’t want to tell him now. “How far away are you?”
“How bad, Ashley?” he asks again, ignoring my question. I can hear his voice cracking with worry. He isn’t going to let this go and he certainly isn’t going to wait until he gets here to find out.
“It’s pretty bad,” I say, not wanting to give away too many details. “We don’t really know much yet. Todd and I saw it happen.” For the first time I feel my eyes start to well up. I don’t know if it is relief because I know Ryan is okay or if I am finally starting to realize what just happened.
“Holy Shit! You saw it happen?” he asks. “I’m close, maybe five minutes.”
“Be careful please.” Tear
s start to stream down my face.
“I will. Ash, who is there with you?”
“Todd, and Brian and Gretchen’s parents are here already.” I’m trying so hard to control my voice and my tears, but it isn’t working. Once they start, I can’t stop them.
“Okay. I’ll be right there.” I can tell he is concerned about me. I don't usually cry, so he must know it’s pretty bad.
I am so relieved Ryan is on his way. I try to compose myself before I walk back over to everyone, but it isn’t working. I feel a warm hand on my back and turn around to find Todd standing there. He pulls me into his chest and I completely let it all go. I’m finally letting myself absorb everything we’ve just witnessed and I can’t stop sobbing uncontrollably.
“It’s going to be okay,” Todd whispers to me as he rests his chin on top of my head and strokes the back of my hair with his hand.
“I can’t believe that just happened,” I say with my face buried in his wet, bloody shirt. He still smells so good, I just keep breathing in deeply. His familiar scent is so comforting, not to mention his chest is remarkably firm.
“I know; me, either,” he says as he continues to run his hands over my hair. He suddenly grabs my hand. “Come with me.”
I have no idea where we are going, His fingers are intertwined with mine as he guides me through the hospital hallway. As we walk, people keep giving us strange looks because we are both wet, and our clothes are covered in blood. Todd is actually still bleeding a little. He stops in the middle of the stark white hallway and opens the door to the hospital's chapel. My family isn’t very religious, but this seems like the perfect place to be right now. I go in to sit down and Todd sits next to me.
We sit there in silence for a while, and then he grabs my hand and really looks at me, maybe for the first time. He is so bruised and bloody; no wonder people were giving us strange looks. His eye from yesterday's fight is blue and purple, his nose is coated in dried blood and he has a large gash over his eyebrow, but he is still beautiful, still perfect. I rub my fingers over his swollen eye. “Does it hurt?”
“No,” he says softly “I’m okay. How are you?” He rests his warm hands on my jaw and pulls my face toward his until our eyes lock.
Accidental Crush Page 17