Gone Wild

by McCormick, Ever

  "You're going to want to go, and I'm not sure I can leave here," Adam explained, shaking me out of my thoughts.

  I pushed the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes away from his face. I didn't know what to say, so I just let him speak.

  "I love you, and that scares the hell out of me," he admitted. "I want to keep you safe." He shook his head. "Almost losing you today brought back a lot of feelings. I can't lose someone again."

  He cried on my chest at times. I cried into his neck as I told him what had gone through my mind when I was most afraid. "I thought that it was such a waste," I told him. "I felt that my whole life—if I died in that moment—had been preparation. College had been preparation for a job that never came. My relationship had been preparation for a dream life that never came. And all of this indecision was all I could see—all of this hesitation. I don't want to hesitate anymore. I want to start my real life."

  "You don't have to be afraid while I'm here," he swore to me.

  "I know," I said.

  "Stay with me, please."

  I didn't know if he meant tonight, for a week, or forever. I didn't know if we were too broken for forever—or at least too broken to promise forever—but he didn't push for a real answer. I think he saw the real answer in my face anyway.

  He let me cry. He let me sleep in his arms. And when I woke up in the night screaming, he reminded me I was safe and he helped me back to slumber with comforting words and tiny kisses soft as air.

  24

  For the first time, when I woke up, Adam was next to me and asleep. He hadn't snuck off in the wee hours of the morning to shower or hunt for escape convicts in the woods. I studied his face and body in sleep.

  His chest rose steadily and then contracted. I could fall back asleep listening to the steady rhythm of his breath. He occasionally flinched, his muscles tightening, and I had to remind myself he was asleep. This was no time to be fantasizing about his ripped body taking hold of mine again. Although I couldn't stop staring at it and noticing the ensuing tingly response in my body. Nothing wrong with staring.

  I turned away from his sleeping form and took one of the books from the pile on his bedside table. I read half-heartedly, skipping whole chapters and skimming random scenes. Eventually, Adam stirred. His eyes opened and he turned sideways on his pillow to face me. I put down the book and turned to face him too.

  We lay like that until a smile came over his face.

  "What's funny?" I asked with a smile of my own.

  He shook his head. "The logic center of my brain keeps wondering why I'm doing this. I'm on high alert. But then I look at you, and it's like all the employees at the logic center go on break at once, and my feelings are left to make the decisions."

  He took my hands into his between us on the bed. He rubbed the bone of my wrist where an angry purple bruise was forming. His brows pulled together as he moved his thumb over the ultra-sensitive skin. Even that turned me on.

  I moved my legs across his sheets and he met my eye and grinned at me as if he could sense what his lightest touch did to my body.

  We made love twice before we decided to officially get up for the day. It was late morning by then, practically noon, and I luxuriated further with a long hot shower.

  Under the hot spray of water, I examined all of the sore spots in my body. While adrenaline had surged through me last night, making me feel strong and unstoppable as I fought, today I felt as if I were recuperating from a 10K.

  Brushing my hair in the bathroom after my shower, I smelled bacon and eggs and heard them sizzle. I opened the bathroom door to see a bowl of fresh fruit at the center of the table. Adam was setting my breakfast on the table. A mimosa also sat in front of my usual seat.

  "You don't need to cook every meal for me," I said.

  He turned and watched me put a slice of fresh mango in my mouth. "You want to cook?" he asked.

  "No." I laughed. "You don't want that either, believe me."

  "One thing I've remembered about myself is that I love cooking more when there is someone else to enjoy it." He walked over to me and gave me a sweet kiss. Then he licked his lips and took a piece of mango from the bowl.

  I squeezed the fluffy robe tighter around me. "You better watch it," I warned. "A girl could get used to this."

  "I'm counting on it." He walked back to the stove.

  We talked and talked in the following days, the final days of my rental, although I rarely went back to my cabin and never alone, not because I was afraid, but because we couldn’t stand to be apart. We enjoyed each other. We had comfortable silences where I'd think I’d told him everything and then something else would bubble up in my mind.

  He wasn't sharing as much as I was, but he did talk about his own life sometimes, and I listened attentively. I could sense how hard it was for him to speak about it and I sympathized. I kept picturing him out here all alone, dealing with all of this pain by himself for so long. That led to me touching him, trying to take some of his pain. That led to him touching me back, and that inevitably led to lovemaking. Yet another perk of the mountain, and perhaps my favorite, was the collection of hideaways and wide open beautiful places we found to make love.

  When I told him about how Michael had talked his bosses into sending me a job offer, Adam's perma-smile wavered.

  "Will you take it?" he asked.

  "No," I answered. He looked to the ground guiltily. "I'm not saying this only for your benefit. It's the truth. I don't think I could ever work with Michael without going nuts. His stealing my ideas, cheating on me. I'm sure I can never trust him again. I won’t let myself."

  He nodded and kissed my forehead.

  "What have you decided to do?" he asked.

  I shrugged. I'd moved on past Michael, and I was proud of that accomplishment. I'd come to terms with my thesis debacle. I didn't see it as the career-ending fiasco that I'd thought it was when I'd come here. I'd made some self-improvements since I'd come to the mountain, gained some confidence, but I still hadn't figured out my next career move.

  I hadn't thought past spending the nights and days with Adam, but now in the morning light of my last paid-for day, I did begin to worry. My mother would be start harassing me soon to come home. What would I tell her?

  I wondered if this relationship was sustainable. I wanted to work, and furthermore, I hadn't been born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I needed to work. I was pretty sure there wasn't a lot of job opportunity on the mountain or even in the surrounding areas.

  "I have an idea," Adam said in a hesitant voice.

  "Okay. Let's hear it."

  "My job offer from the truck still stands. I'd like you to take over the advertising and marketing of my properties."

  I looked at him in disbelief. "First of all, thank you, Adam, but, I'd feel like you'd be giving me a handout."

  "This is not a handout!" he argued. "I am fascinated by your philosophy on advertising. You've single-handedly brought this anti-establishment—and let's face it, anti-human being—man back from the seedy underbelly of society. Don't underestimate yourself. You are more qualified than you think."

  I beamed in his praise. A couple of weeks ago, I would've said that his was the opinion of one single man who didn't know a thing about advertising. Why should I listen to him?

  But what had changed during my time on the mountain was that now I knew how unbelievably awesome this man was inside and out. I was not only deeply attracted to him, but deeply in awe of all he had achieved while he was so young. Working with him would be fun, but I would also learn a lot. I already had.

  Most people waited until their midlife crises to break down and realize keeping up with the Joneses is a waste of their lives. He'd figured it all out by 25 and jumped off the train to find his own way. I loved that about him. I loved him. To impress him made me feel good about myself.

  "I'd like to work with you." I got up from the chair at the table and I settled onto his lap, sitting sideways so I could wrap my arms a
round his neck in an intimate hug. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face, but I tried my hardest so I could speak my next line with a very professional expression. "You don't have any rules about fraternizing with the boss, do you?"

  "No." He laughed. "I expect you to work long hours by my side, overnight shifts, with frequent meetings in my office, which doubles as my cabin."

  "Long hours?"

  "Oh yes."

  "You've got a few cabins on the side of a mountain. Once I update your website, develop a mailing list, and start targeting your market, I won't have anything to do." I stared across the room, shaking my head. I could feel him watching my profile. "I suppose I could branch out after that. Maybe start my own agency?" I smiled at him as I dreamed aloud, and he smiled and dreamed with me. "I don't know," I said. "I love the mountain, but I'm not sure I'm ready to give up my dreams of a career. I still want to rock the world of business. I want to travel and lead meetings like I've always imagined. I know most women would be happy to ditch their career plans and live out here with you, and I want to live here with you, but I'm not ready to give all that up yet." I expected him to fight with me on this, but his smile remained. It was nice to have someone listen to your pipe dreams.

  "I think opening your own agency is a great idea," he said slipping his strong arms around my waist, "but I also think you'll be busier than you think if you accept my offer." He took a drink of his coffee on the table in front of us.

  "What do you mean?"

  "I don’t want you to market my cabins. I’ve thought about that a lot lately, and I love what I’ve created—a private, beautiful place. I want this to be our home. I wasn’t kidding when I said that I am this place. I also meant it when I said that this mountain is yours."

  "So what is the job you’re offering me?"

  "I have more than a couple of cabins on a mountain. I still have a stake in dozens of restaurants in New York City. I still work in real estate, but from afar. I haven't invested in anything new in a couple years, but I've been re-considering that decision lately. I listen to market reports sometimes, think of investments, don’t do anything about them."

  We stared at each other.

  "Why?" I asked in a whisper. "Why have you been reconsidering?"

  He broke our eye contact as he tried to explain. "Because what if there's others like us? To be honest, for a while now, I've given up. I've thought that there was no such thing as a decent soul in this world anymore, and then you showed up, and I can't explain it. It's just when you're convinced you've got your own little world all figured out that someone like you shows up and expands it a hundredfold." He met my gaze again. "I've realized there's more I'd like to see, more I'd like to do."

  "So you'd leave this mountain with me? We could visit New York?"

  "Visit, yes, but I'll never leave here permanently. It would take something very convincing to get me to move somewhere else for good. I may be ready to give out there another chance, but I want to come back here. I want to live here." He extended his arm out to indicate the room. "I want to live here with you. This could be our home."

  I scanned the walls, the blue stone murals, the guitar, the books, the remnants of one our beautiful meals by the sink waiting to be washed.

  I imagined our life here on the mountain, tinged by business deals, and trips to the great "out there." I could understand why he loved this place, and I also wanted to be the one who brought him back to a love of humanity. I hoped I'd be a good partner for him.

  "I accept your offer," I said quietly. Our faces were close together and our foreheads leaned in to each other. Our lips were close now, and I could sense the magnetic pull between our mouths gaining strength.

  My eyes were closed when he whispered back, "I love you."

  I closed that tiny distance that remained between our mouths. I kissed him deeply, tightening my embrace, and closing the deal.

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  The author wishes to acknowledge all the people who made this book possible:

  Karen Amanda Hooper for holding my hand through this process from the days before I started to the late night she texted me to "just hit publish!"

  My husband, who comes home and says, "How's the novel?" the way most spouses ask, "How was your day?"

  My daughter for making me brave.

  My parents for filling our house with books, and my great big Irish family for filling my head with stories.

  My betas: T, Rudolpho, Natalie, Megan, Liz, Laurie, and Cheryl. Thanks for supporting me and keeping my secrets.

  Learn more about Ever McCormickand join the mailing list to be notified of upcoming titles!

  www.evermccormick.com

  About the Author

  Ever McCormick writes stories about love, romance, and that niggling feeling of being unsatisfied and having to do something about it. She loves Korean food, pop art, endless road trips, and movies that suck viewers out of reality.

  Ever has an MFA from a school far down on the list of the best MFA programs in the USA. She’s published stories and poetry in literary magazines and collections.

  All her life, Ever has dreamed of writing and publishing YA and NA romance novels. Meanwhile, she’s been a teacher, editor, waitress, and several other occupations that involve neither writing nor publishing. She decided 2013 was her year.

  Gone Wild is Ever's first novel.