by DD Sparxx
I stripped down and climbed in between the sheets, running my hands over my already sensitive flesh. I imagined they were Ford’s hands. I reached into my nightstand, pulled out my rabbit and turned it on to make sure the batteries were still strong. The loud, vibrating noise told me I was good to go.
I let myself fantasize about him being here with me in person. The way his lips felt against my own. His fingers tweaking my nipples and his cock plunging in and out of me. I was there in record time, gasping and moaning as I fucked myself with my toy. The ears on the toy tickled my clit and sent me spiraling out of control as pleasure surged out to every nerve ending in my body. As I lay there staring up at the ceiling in the dark, I was amazed by how hard I had cum. Nothing compared to having Ford here in the flesh, but I have to say this time was pretty darn close.
The aftershocks were still coursing through me as I turned off my rabbit and set it on my nightstand. I was too spent to get up and clean it tonight so I’d save it for the morning. Sleep came quickly.
I was with Ford in our old apartment. We were slow dancing to our song and everything was perfect. My head was on his chest and I could hear his heart beating steadily under my ear as we swayed to the music. He twirled me, releasing my hand in the process and when I finished the spin I was alone.
I looked for him, confused. I could hear a baby crying in the distance. Our baby. Love swelled in my chest as I turned and walked to our second bedroom where the cries grew louder.
I entered what was the nursery and saw Ford rocking back and forth in a chair that was in the corner of the room with a small bundle in his arms. I crept forward towards them. There was no sound coming from his arms anymore and I could see that his face was covered in tears as he clutched it closer to his chest.
“Ford, what’s going on?” I asked, panic setting in.
“Our baby is dead. Dead because of you,” he spun towards me and spit the words out in anger, spewing them at me like hate-fire. The look on his face was like nothing I had ever seen before, completely void of love or sympathy.
“No!” I sobbed. “No, you don’t understand. It’s not my fault. If you’ll just let me explain.”
He raised his hand to stop me. “There’s nothing you can say that would change this or how I feel.” He pointed at me. “You did this. I’ll never forgive you.” He placed the bundle down in the crib as he turned to me with utter hate in his eyes.
“No, I would never hurt our baby. Please.”
I watched as he turned to walk out the door and launched myself at him. “Please,” I begged again, “please, you have to forgive me.” I pleaded as I grabbed for his hand again trying to get him to let me explain.
“How could you think I would ever forgive something like this? I can’t believe you kept this from me all this time.” He shook his head at me, his lips were curled into a snarl. He stormed out of the room, shrugging me off. When I chased down the hall after him he was gone. Vanished into thin air. I ran back to the nursery, in hopes that our baby was there and ok, but the room was dark and completely empty when I got there. Almost as if it none of it had ever existed at all. I slumped to the floor sobbing over the loss that I felt. Not only had I failed our baby, but I failed Ford as well.
I woke with a start, real tears pouring from my eyes. Sadie’s words flashing through my mind about letting Ford decide and giving him the benefit of the doubt. I don’t think he’ll blame me anymore; counseling helped me to see clearly about that. But I don’t know if he’ll still want me once he knows the whole truth either. I can’t change the past. I just pray he’ll give me another chance to see how things could play out now.
When the alarm sounded in the morning I had to literally force myself out of the bed. After my nightmare, I had slept like shit. I was dragging ass this morning. I knew the only thing that would make me feel better would be coming clean about everything.
Sadie was right. I owed it to both of us. If there was ever going to be the possibility of an “us” and a future, I needed to end this internal torture. I showered and got ready for my workday. Thankfully, it was only office work today and I wasn’t meeting with any clients in person.
When I got to the office, Linda pulled me aside and let me know the buyers on one of our deals had received their inspection report and were not requesting any repairs, so it was going to close on time. That was a huge weight lifted from my shoulders and one less thing to worry about. I worked for a few hours researching some very specific properties for another client but when my eyes started to cross I knew I needed to go home and take a nap before my night with Ford.
I dialed up Linda from my cell as I left the office and was climbing into my Pilot. “Hey, just wanted to let you know I’m calling it an early afternoon.”
“No problem, we’ve got things handled here. Have fun on your date tonight.”
“Thanks! I hate to leave early but it makes it so much easier knowing I have such an amazing, competent team of people backing me up. As always, I’ll have my cell if you need me.”
“We won’t, it’s all good here. Catch ya tomorrow.”
“Ok, bye,” I hung up and shifted into reverse. I drove home on autopilot as I listened to my music. I let my mind drift to this evening and all of the possibilities it might hold. When I pulled into the garage, I noted the time. I had about three hours before I needed to get ready for my date. That was plenty of time to catch a nap. I headed in and stripped off my clothes, leaving them in a heap next to my bed. I set my alarm and thankfully fell quickly into a dreamless sleep.
I awoke fifteen minutes before I had to actually get up. I reached for my phone and turned off the alarm I had set. I laid there for a few minutes stretching my sore muscles from my kickboxing workout the night before. Then I climbed out of bed and walked to the bathroom where I turned on the shower, grabbed my towel and washcloth and set about getting ready for my date.
Dressed, with my makeup done, lightly applied with only mascara and gloss, and hair in disarray with a customary hair band in my purse. I gave myself the once over in the mirror. I didn’t look exactly the same as I had 12 years ago, but thankfully not too much had changed. The doorbell rang just as I slipped on my wedges.
Ford was right on time. Thankfully, I was ready.
“Just a sec,” I called out as I grabbed my purse and headed for the door.
47
Ford
I had double-checked everything right before I left my condo. The picnic basket was stocked with food, wine, and dessert. I had the blanket to lay on the ground. I had packed candles, napkins, plates, flatware, and the fancy plastic wine flutes, as well as my portable speaker, so we could listen to the playlist I made.
That playlist took forever, but I wanted to make sure I listened closely to every song I added. They spanned decades of time and a bunch of different genres. Some were serious, some were fun, but they all had some sort of special meaning to them, so I felt like they all fit.
On top of getting everything ready for tonight, today I had cleaned out and washed my truck and got in a workout. I wanted everything to be perfect for her, for us.
I drove with the windows down. Bobbing my head and tapping my fingers on the steering wheel, I sang along to Keith Urban “I Wanna Love Somebody Like You.” After researching so many songs last night I decided to change it up for the drive today. I turned down the music when I parked in the driveway and headed for the door.
I rang the bell, impatient to see her again. It was hard to believe the past week hadn’t been a figment of my imagination. Previously she had run circles through my brain, multiple times per day, but the reality was she wasn’t just in my head now. Now she was here in the flesh.
The door opened and I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face as I was transported back in time. She stood before me in what I swear was the same pair of white cutoff shorts and high wedge shoes. The pink top was a little different, but overall fairly similar.
“Wow! You look amazi
ng!”
She smiled back. “Thanks, you clean up pretty well yourself,” she winked. She leaned forward and gave me a soft kiss hello.
“All set?” I knew I was ready to get this evening swinging into full gear and if we didn’t leave soon, I knew I’d be tempted to picnic in her living room. I had put too much thought into the night for that to happen.
“Yep. Let me just lock up real quick.”
I walked her to her side of the truck, opened the door for her and helped her inside, my hand lingered slightly on her butt/hip area.
She glanced over her shoulder at me with a smirk and a cocked eyebrow as I released her and closed the door.
I jogged to my side of the truck, climbed inside and started it up, country music coming through on the radio. Big and Rich “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy” softly filled the air.
“I love this song. Turn it up!” Ella laughed, clapped her hands and then sang along. I hummed alongside her. Music continued to play as I got on the 51 and headed towards our destination.
She looked in the back seat and saw the picnic basket. “I think I know where we’re headed.” She was beaming at me from the passenger seat.
I reached over and took her hand in mine. I brought it to my lips and kissed the back of it. “You do, huh?”
“Uh-huh. We’re going to Tempe Beach Park for a picnic!”
We were, but man was it fun to mess with her. “Good guess. But nope.”
“Nope?” Her whole face fell into a pout as she said it.
“Well, maybe we are.”
She leaned over and smacked me in the arm, “You jerk!” She laughed. “I knew it.”
She settled back into her seat. “I’ve always loved it there, and they’ve built it up so much now. I miss it. There’s a park by my house that I go to sometimes, but it doesn’t have the lake. I love the water. There’s something so calming about it to me.”
“I remember it used to be one of your favorites and you always did love any place with water.”
“I am a self-proclaimed sun goddess. Any place there’s sun, sand and water, I’m happy.”
When we got to the park, I came around and helped her back down, gliding my hands up the back of her thighs as her body slid down the front of mine. Her arms wrapped around my neck and her lips captured my own on the descent. Once her feet were planted firmly on the ground, she pulled back and looked me in the eye.
“Thanks for bringing me back here. I missed it,” she smiled softly.
“I wanted to make sure I gave you another night to remember.”
“The first one was extremely memorable, but so were all of the other times as well.” We had come here often throughout our relationship. One of the reasons I had chosen it for tonight was because it had such a special meaning for us.
I grabbed the blanket, picnic basket, and bag from the backseat and hurried to catch up to her. She turned and watched me closely as I jogged up the small hill. “Want some help?”
“Nah, I got it.” I set both the basket and bag on the ground as I spread out the blanket for us. She grabbed the corners closest to her and helped anyways. She sat down while I got everything else situated.
The sun still had about an hour or so before it set so I left the candles in the bag.
“Are you hungry?”
Her brows quirked upward, “Starving.” Her eyes traveled over my body. It had only been 3 days since we’d been together, but it seemed like an eternity. “Oh, did you mean for food? I suppose I could eat some food too,” she teased, biting her lip.
I reached for the picnic basket and started pulling things out, utensils, plates and napkins first. I opened the chicken and sweet potato fries and offered them up to her so she could take what she wanted. “Bottled water or wine to start? I brought Moscato for us.”
“Let’s start with water and save the wine for dessert.” She passed the containers back to me as I fished out her water.
We ate in silence for a little while, just looking out at the sun reflecting off the water.
“How’re your folks?” She asked as she set her plate down reaching for a napkin.
“They’re doing great.” I filled her in on everything that had been happening with my family, which wasn’t much, aside from them adopting a dog and my father retiring. I told her about how they still liked to vacation. Now, they went more often and took advantage of my flight privileges.
“How about everything with your family? How’s Lucy been?”
She told me about how they all still lived in Pennsylvania and how she and Lucy were really close now.
“That’s awesome. I know when we were younger you always wanted to have a closer relationship. It’s great that you were able to make it happen.”
She glanced away anxiously. “Technology is an amazing thing these days. Now we can email, text, and call and not have any extra charges. She was really upset with me for moving away for college. We were best friends and when I left, she felt like I was abandoning her. We’ve really been able to mend those fences. In fact, aside from Sadie, she’s my best friend.” Thoughtfully she added, “We’ve overcome a lot together. I keep trying to get her to move to Phoenix. I tell her I know a great Realtor who can help her find a place.” We both laughed.
“I think I’m slowly wearing her down,” she winked.
“I’m sure you are. I know how relentless you can be.”
“It’s served me well.”
“Ice to Eskimos, I remember. Ready for the next course?” I reached for the picnic basket.
“There’s more?” She laughed. “I’m pretty full, but you know me, there’s always room for dessert.” She playfully rubbed her stomach.
“You always did have a thing for dessert.”
“Yes, I did and I still do. It’s one of my biggest downfalls and the exact reason I work out as hard as I do, so I can afford to eat those empty calories when I want them. What do you have in there?” She leaned forward, curious about the contents I was concealing.
I pulled out the Moscato and strawberries with whipped cream first. “I have this,” I waved my hand over like I was presenting on a game show. “Or I have this,” I pulled out the small box with the macaroons in it.
“Do I have to choose?” She looked up hopefully.
“Of course not.” I placed my fingers on my chest, “Do you think I would make you choose between the two?”
I was rewarded with a huge smile. “Are those salted caramel?” She pointed to the macaroons, her eyes grew huge with hope.
“Sure are.”
“Yum!” She rubbed her hands together in anticipation. “I will limit myself to one macaroon and a few strawberries with whipped cream for now or you will literally have to roll me down this hill and hoist me into the truck.”
I opened the box and offered her one of the French pastries. She closed her eyes and groaned quietly when she bit into it, savoring the taste. “Sooo good. It’s been forever since I’ve had one of these.”
I grabbed one and bit into it letting the flavor settle on my taste buds. “Wine?”
“Yes, please.” She nodded, crawling over to hold the glasses for me. I opened the bottle and poured us each a hefty amount. I pulled out the jarred candles I had brought and lit them, setting them on the ground around the blanket. We snacked on the strawberries and whipped cream as we sat and watched as the sun set and streaked the sky with brilliant oranges, pinks, and purples. She leaned into me, her head on my shoulder as we enjoyed the view. I wrapped my arm around her, letting my hand rest on the top of her thigh, smoothing my fingers gently across her skin enjoying her softness. I kissed her on top of her head, then closed my eyes just enjoying the perfection of the moment as she sighed.
“It’s so beautiful and peaceful out here. I could stay here all night.”
“Well, we don’t have to leave anytime soon. I brought music for us. I figured we could dance under the moonlight once the sun had set.”
“You’re such a romantic.”
“Damn straight. It’s one of the things you love about me.” I held my breath for a minute after the words had so carelessly fallen from my lips. I shouldn’t be assuming she feels the same way I do just yet especially after I had already told her we could take things as slowly as she needed.
She took it in stride though and didn’t even acknowledge my words. “I bet you even made a playlist.”
“I did, in fact. I take great pride in this playlist. It’s a varietal compilation to show you how I feel about where we’ve been, where we are and where I’d like to see us get to someday.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket, nervous about what her reaction might be to the songs I picked.
“Well let’s see what you’ve got. DJ, play that song.” She motioned to the bag where I had my speaker.
“Ok, here goes nothing,” I mumbled to myself.
48
Ella
He was nervous. It was adorable. He had no idea how nervous I was, though. I had to tell him tonight. Sadie’s words ran in my head, you’ll know when the time is right. It wasn’t fair that I’d kept my secret from him all of this time. I watched as he hooked up his phone and turned on the speaker.
The first song made me laugh and broke some of the tension. It was Poison “Talk Dirty to Me.” We sang along together. When the second track started, Ford stood and offered me his hand.
“May I have this dance?”
I took his hand and he pulled me to my feet. I laced my fingers around his neck as we swayed to “Come a Little Closer Baby” by Dierks Bentley. I hadn’t been this happy in such a long time. I didn’t ever want it to end. I closed my eyes while a few more songs played, as we slow danced in the moonlight and candlelight. I opened my eyes when he twirled and dipped me just like he always used to.