“He made me feel valuable and beautiful,” Audrey said. “And he promised me that he would eventually leave his wife so he could marry me, and so I could have the baby I wanted. I’m thirty-nine, Dayna. I desperately want a child. I want a complete family. And if this was the way it was supposed to happen, so be it.”
Dayna sighed. She had never heard this level of desperation before from Audrey. But then again, had she always bared her own soul? Hadn’t she had similar fears and longings before she and Warren began dating? It had been easy to let those emotions and fears fade to the background once she had someone to share her life with.
“You know, I hear you, Audrey,” Dayna said. “And I’m sorry if I’ve come across as harsh. But you know my history. You know how devastated I was by a woman deciding that my man was hers, and eventually making that so. You can’t ask me to overlook the reality of the pain you’ve caused just because you and I are friends.”
Tears filled Audrey’s eyes. “I know,” she said. “And to be really honest, I need to tell you something else.”
Dayna steeled herself.
“I looked at your history, too, Dayna, and I told myself that if your husband’s girlfriend won his heart, maybe I’d be able to do the same with Raymond.”
This time tears welled up in Dayna’s eyes. She felt the urge to slap Audrey, but instead, she clenched her fists in her lap. She told herself to remember who and where she was and prayed for restraint.
Please, God, help me control myself right now.
The more she took time to pray every day, like she’d promised Warren she would, the easier talking to God was becoming.
“You know, Audrey,” Dayna finally said, “I realize now that I never knew you. The person I knew wouldn’t think like that. Maybe I was friends with the shell of a person you created, not the real Audrey. Now that I’ve met her, she isn’t someone I want to know.”
Dayna rose to leave, but Audrey reached for her arm.
“Wait!” she said. Her trembling voice caught the attention of the other diners, who briefly looked their way before resuming their conversations. “You do know the real Audrey. I guess that’s why I’ve been trying to talk with you for the past two weeks, to let you know that she’s still in here, somewhere. And even though I don’t deserve it, I need your help to bring her back. Please.”
Audrey’s pleading eyes touched Dayna, and she sat down.
“Raymond has dumped me to make things work with his wife. I’m facing court in three weeks to answer for a crime I admit to committing, over a man who obviously cares nothing about me, despite what he led me to believe. I understand now that he told me what I needed to hear so he could get what he wanted. I’m the biggest fool this side of China, I know. But I don’t want to live in fantasyland anymore. I want the real Audrey back, even if she has to be lonely, because I like that person much better than this one. And you know what? I’m certain God does too.”
Dayna felt torn. Her heart went out to Audrey, whose life beneath her crumbling façade was as broken as her own had once been. Yet she resented Audrey’s sudden interest in relying on God, when faith clearly hadn’t been uppermost in her mind when she was sleeping with another woman’s husband.
Dayna sighed. There she went again being self-righteous, like Mama. If God started airing her dirty laundry, she’d never lift her head again.
“Look, Audrey, it may take me a while to forget about all of this and trust you again, but you won’t be alone,” Dayna said. “I’ll stand with you through this.”
Audrey appeared ready to hug Dayna, but clearly didn’t want to overstep her bounds. She produced a faint smile instead.
“Thank you, Dayna. I value your friendship. I’ll make sure you don’t regret this.”
thirty-nine
Warren’s ringtone filled the air as Dayna and Audrey walked back to the hospital.
Audrey was in the middle of sharing how she had been forced to tell Spencer and her immediate supervisor about her arrest, and Dayna hesitated to interrupt her. She also didn’t want to ignore Warren, and her discomfort must have been obvious.
“Go ahead and answer if it’s important,” Audrey said. “I was just gonna share that Spencer has been very understanding, and he has recommended a top-notch lawyer who hopefully can help me put this behind me without ruining my career. I gotta get back inside. Thank you for forgiving me, Dayna.”
With a quick hug, she was gone, and Dayna was able to answer on the fourth ring.
“You still speaking to me, babe?”
Dayna sighed dramatically, so Warren would know she was contemplating her answer. She wanted to stay mad at him, but after her heart-to-heart talk with Audrey, she was over it.
“How long have you known what was going on?” she asked him.
She’d only told him that Audrey had some personal challenges that had come between them, but his insistence this morning in getting them together had made her wonder if he somehow knew more.
“Audrey called me about a week ago and told me everything,” Warren said. “You wouldn’t return her calls and she was desperate to apologize to you and talk to you.”
“She told you everything?”
“Yes, she did,” he said. “I know all about the affair and the arrest. She knew you would feel obligated not to say anything, so she spilled the beans on herself.”
Dayna was stunned. If Audrey had gone so far as to tell Warren all of her business, she must be serious about making some changes.
“How did your meeting go?” Warren asked.
Dayna sighed again. “We’re okay. I need to work on separating her situation from my past experience so I can stop judging her through that lens, but that’s the work on my end,” she said. “She’s my friend, and I need to help her. All that prayer I’ve been doing in the mornings is working on me, I guess.”
“You’re getting closer to being marriage material, girl. I need a solid prayer partner, raising these two middle school boys. Keep it up!” Warren laughed before returning the conversation to Audrey. “She’s going to be fine. This is her first offense, so she probably won’t get any jail time. It will just be a tough lesson learned, to pair with her broken heart.”
Dayna realized she was learning some lessons too. Not just about Audrey, but about herself and the kind of woman she wanted to be.
Before she could respond to Warren’s comment, her phone beeped. She glanced at caller ID and was surprised to see Tamara’s number. They had met just a week ago as a group and had agreed to establish Brent’s foundation under the Calero Community Foundation. What was up?
“Let me call you right back, Warren. Tamara’s on the other line.”
She clicked over quickly.
“Hi, T —”
Tamara interrupted her before she could say more. “Dayna, Brent is in the hospital and he’s not doing well today.”
Her voice shook, and Dayna could tell she had been, or was, crying.
“I’m so sorry, Tamara …” She wanted to ask exactly what “not doing well” meant, but she was afraid to upset Tamara further. “What do you need?”
“We’re at Holmes Regional Medical Center. Can you come?”
Dayna’s eyes widened. Was it that dire?
She looked at the clock and remembered it would take her an hour to drive to Brevard County, where both Cocoa Beach and the medical center in Melbourne were located.
“He’s asking for you, Dayna.”
Dayna gasped. “Me? But why — I’m…. I’m on my way, Tamara. I’ll get there as quickly as I can.”
Dayna crossed the street at the crosswalk, but instead of heading into the hospital as she had planned, she made a beeline for the parking deck.
She called her secretary, Monica, while she strode toward her car.
“I need you to let Spencer know I won’t be in the afternoon meeting because of … a family emergency. And can you please reschedule the two telephone conferences I had planned for later in the day?”
&n
bsp; Dayna unlocked her car door with the keyless entry device and paused before climbing in. How was she going to tell Warren she was rushing to Brent’s bedside?
There was no good way, but texting might be easier.
Tamara said Brent’s not doing well.
He’s at Holmes Regional Medical Center in Melbourne. Need to go check on him. Not sure when I’ll be back, but will call. Luv u
She heard a swoosh, indicating his swift reply, as she pulled out of the deck, onto the main road in front of the hospital. The sunlight temporarily blinded her and kept her from reading the text. She laid the phone in the passenger seat and focused on the road, intending to read the message whenever she stopped at a red light.
The phone rang.
“What’s this about going to see Brent?”
Dayna heard Warren straining to remain calm.
“I don’t have all of the details, Warren,” she said, and turned onto Second Avenue, which would lead her onto the interstate. “Tamara was upset, so I didn’t ask any questions. She asked me to come, so I’m on my way.”
Dayna didn’t know how to tell him that Brent had specifically asked for her.
“Okaaay,” he said. “Keep me posted. And drive carefully.”
“What?”
“What, what?”
“Come on, Warren,” Dayna said. “What was the drawn-out ‘okay’ for?”
“Nothing, babe,” he said. “You just get where you’re going and call me as soon as you can.”
“I will, Warren. Love you.”
She cranked up her Kirk Whalum CD and tried to lose herself in the music. The soothing melodies calmed her pounding heart, and when “Dancing on the Shore,” a duet with Jonathan Butler, came on, she swayed to the light-hearted beat and felt her spirits rise, despite her concern over what awaited her at the hospital.
The lengthy drive gave her time to ruminate over why she had been summoned. Why had Brent asked for her? And how had that made Tamara feel? Was this the end?
Her thoughts wandered to the special times she had shared with Brent, and for once she didn’t fight the memories. Dayna recalled meeting Brent in the campus student union her freshman year after she asked to borrow his pen to jot down another student’s number. Brent had given her the pen, then asked for it back so he could write his number on the same piece of paper as the other guy’s.
Her mind raced through memories of nursing him back to health after his football injury, of his proposal on Christmas Eve a year after she graduated, and of their fairy-tale wedding officiated by her father.
She recalled the alarm she’d felt the first time in their seven-year marriage he had stayed out all night without calling, and the lame excuse he’d given her when he came home just before noon the next day.
“Ignore that,” Mama had advised. “He’s a man, and men are gonna do what they want to do. In the end, they know where home is, and they always come home. You just go on about your business and make sure that home is still a clean, warm, and loving place to come home to.”
Dayna shook her head now at the memory of that motherly advice. Mama was something else.
Her stomach churned as she remembered the day Brent told her he was in love with Tamara and that their marriage was over. After she’d picked herself up off the floor, she crawled to a phone and called Mama, who accused her of pushing Brent away. Their mother-daughter relationship had never been the same.
The song on the car stereo changed and the new melody jarred Dayna back to the present. She felt a wetness on her cheeks and was startled to find that she had been crying. Before she could react, her cell phone rang with another familiar tone. It was Audrey. Dayna inhaled and tried to compose herself. The last thing she needed was for Audrey to know she’d been shedding tears.
“Warren emailed and told me where you’re headed,” Audrey said. “You okay? Do you need me to drive down and meet you at the hospital?”
Audrey’s concern perplexed her. They had “made up,” but things weren’t all right between them yet. She was trying too hard.
“I’m okay,” Dayna told her. “I needed this quiet time, all to myself. Thanks for calling, though.”
“Do you want me to do anything for you here — or call someone — your mother, or anyone else?”
Dayna smirked. Mama was the last person on her list to call, although she would want to know that the former son-in-law she still adored was not in good health.
“I’m good. I’ll keep you and Warren posted. Just say a prayer that Brent will get through this.”
Audrey was silent.
“You still there?” Dayna asked.
“Yeah, I am,” Audrey finally said. “My head is just spinning from all of this. First of all, I’m thinking about the fact that I haven’t prayed in a long, long time. And then there’s the amazement over what you’re doing — going to check on the man who broke your heart. Not to mention the fact that even though he has his wife by his side, he’s asking for you.”
Dayna had no response.
“Another wake-up call for me, I guess,” Audrey said. “And for Brent’s wife — Tamara, right?”
“I suppose so,” Dayna said, not feeling good about this turn of events at all.
That was the interesting part: Now that Dayna had become reacquainted with Tamara through their foundation meetings, she was seeing her in a different light, and she felt sorry for her. Nothing but love could have led Tamara to make that phone call today.
forty
Dayna trotted into the Holmes Regional Medical Center ICU exactly an hour after Tamara’s call.
She strode toward the nurse’s station, but before she could ask the woman sitting at the desk for help, a petite, freckled brown woman whose hair was graying at the temples sidled up next to her.
“Are you Dayna?”
Dayna hesitated before acknowledging her identity with a smile.
“My, aren’t you beautiful,” the woman said with surprise. “I’m Tami’s mom, Naomi. She told me you’d be tall with short hair, but she didn’t mention how striking you are. Let me go get her for you. Only one person can go into the ICU rooms at a time.”
A few minutes later, Naomi emerged with Tamara, whose eyes were red and swollen. Dayna wasn’t sure whether to hug her, take her hand, or do nothing. She waited for Tamara to lead.
Tamara greeted her with a nod. “Thanks for coming. He’s awake. You can go in.”
Dayna frowned.
“Can you tell me what’s going on? Why is he here in ICU?”
“Sorry about that; it’s been a long night,” Tamara said. “He’s having a bad episode with the bone pain. He couldn’t keep any food down yesterday and got dehydrated. This morning, ever since he woke up, he’s been asking for you. I’m not sure why, but given his diagnosis, I decided to check and see if you’d be willing to come.”
“He asked for me out of the blue?”
Tamara stared at her.
“As far as I know. Out of the blue.”
Dayna ignored the insinuation.
“Is he … is this …”
Tamara shook her head. “The doctor says he’s stable. He may not be able to go back to work, though. That’s going to crush him.”
Dayna’s head was spinning. Brent had shown up at her home four weeks ago to ask for forgiveness, and now she had become part of his dying circle?
“Have you called his family?”
“Yes. His parents and his brothers and sister are on their way. He’s going to be mad that they’ve come all this way ‘for nothing,’ because he’s convinced that this is just a bad spell he’ll bounce back from. Hopefully he will, but he still needs to spend some time with them. He needs to tell them.”
Dayna tried to hide her shock. His family was so close-knit; how could he not have told them? They would be devastated if he died without giving them a chance to be there for him. Was he losing his mind?
She reminded herself she was a guest in this situation. Brent’s choices didn�
�t affect her.
Tamara’s mother moved to her side. “Guess I need to get back to the house to prepare for your guests. Can’t have relatives coming from out of town with nothing to eat and bathrooms that aren’t clean.”
“They aren’t like that,” Dayna said, and smiled. “They’ll arrive wanting to help you and Tamara and Brent get through this, instead of worrying about how things look and what’s available to eat.”
Tamara bit her lip. “Seems you have a better handle on them than I do, even after all of these years. You better go in; Brent will be glad to see you.”
Dayna reached for Tamara’s hand, but Tamara stiffened. “Go on, Dayna,” she said, and turned away. “Just go in and see Brent; that’s why you’re here. I’ll be okay.”
Dayna slowly walked toward the room to which she had been directed and knocked on the door before entering. She found a frail Brent lying in the bed with his eyes closed. He appeared to be sleeping, so she tiptoed toward the bed. When she stood next to him, though, he opened his eyes and tried to smile.
“You came,” he said, sounding as exhausted as if he’d just run a marathon. “Welcome to the Space Coast. Sorry your first stop is ICU.”
Dayna mustered a smile and sat in the chair next to him. She wanted to weep over how unlike himself he looked. Despite his dark-chocolate complexion, he appeared chalky, and his veins were visible through his paper-thin skin. He seemed to have aged enough to be his grandfather’s twin. The fact that he looked five pounds thinner than he had just a few days earlier, when she had hosted the foundation planning meeting at her house, frightened her. Had he really shed more weight that quickly? Or had the sweaters he wore during their meetings made him look heavier? Dayna struggled to keep the tears at bay.
“You feeling any better than when you arrived?” she asked, then mentally kicked herself for posing an obviously foolish question.
“Not really, but that’s part of the deal, I guess,” he said. “Regardless of my issue, I usually come right to ICU every time I’m admitted, because of the cancer. Once I get hydrated and get some food in me, I’ll be all right.”
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