Grey (The Romany Outcasts Series, Book 1)

by Christi J. Whitney

  ‘You don’t strike me as the accepting-your-fate kind of guy.’

  ‘Well, I’m very multi-layered.’

  I felt her smile, but she pressed on. ‘If I had that much empty space in my life, it would be hard for me to accept it. Everything has a place and a purpose, and it would eat me up inside, not knowing what that was.’

  I tugged at my collar. It was getting hot inside the van. ‘I never thought of it like that.’

  ‘How old were you?’ she asked softly.

  ‘Fifteen.’

  We both fell silent. I could almost read Josephine’s thoughts as she pondered my answer. After a few moments, I heard her gentle intake of breath.

  ‘But that’s practically your entire life.’ Her voice had the quality of someone at a funeral; trying to be as delicate as possible with a difficult subject. ‘I can’t imagine not remembering my whole childhood.’

  ‘It’s okay, Josephine, really. Like I said, I know how it sounds, but it’s true. It doesn’t bother me that much. I have a life here now, and I’ve got my whole future ahead of me.’

  ‘And you’ve got a lot more restraint than most,’ she replied. She twisted her hair ribbons around her finger, pulling them taut and letting them go again. ‘Personally, I don’t like the unknown. When I have questions about something, I have to find out the answers. I guess you could say I’m a little neurotic that way.’

  I caught the point. My mysterious lack-of-life was on her radar now. Her curiosity was giving me an excited, terrified buzz. But as much as I wanted to know about her, I didn’t want to know any more about myself. I put on an easy smile, ready to change the subject. ‘So what about you? Where’ve you lived?’

  She hesitated, then returned my smile. Her brow smoothed. ‘Well, we don’t really live anywhere for long. We have certain towns, like Sixes, where we’ll stay for a while, but mainly we just travel around. I’ve been all over the South and even up the East Coast and into Canada. With all our traveling, it’s hard to keep up with schoolwork. I love coming here, because I actually get to attend school like a regular person. I know I said I don’t always feel comfortable around gadje because of the distance I have to keep, but sometimes, it feels good being considered just a normal, run-of-the-mill teenager.’

  ‘Yeah, I miss that,’ I said under my breath, before I could stop myself.

  She sat up in the seat. ‘Ah, so you’re saying you used to be normal?’

  I chuckled and tried to ignore the blood rushing to my head. ‘Oh, definitely not. I’ve always been a little off, no question about that.’

  ‘And lately?’

  ‘Lately,’ I said in my best, easy-going voice. ‘I’ve been insane. Nothing a strait-jacket couldn’t cure, though.’ I forced a laugh and immediately steered the conversation back to Josephine. ‘So, do you like it? The Circe, I mean.’

  She took the conversation offering, though not without a curious lift of her brows. ‘Well, I don’t know any different. It’s been my life since I was born. It’s difficult sometimes,’ she continued, her tone growing serious. ‘The traveling, never settling down, always working. And we’ve really been under a lot of pressure. Quen…my parents have been hard on me. I don’t have much free time.’

  ‘That sounds rough.’

  ‘It’s okay. But it’s been nice doing the play. It’s something outside of the Circe, you know? Quentin didn’t approve, but my parents convinced him I needed a little break.’

  ‘Why didn’t he approve?’ I asked, cautiously.

  ‘Long story,’ she sighed.

  Another lull fell between us. It seemed we both had things we wished to keep to ourselves. I turned onto Fairground Drive, not realizing how dark it had become until we emerged from the thick canopy of trees. I squinted, finding it difficult to see.

  So much for my weird night vision ability.

  I pushed the thought from my mind. I didn’t want to think about what was going on with me. The whole seeing in the dark thing had only happened that one time, anyway.

  ‘Everyone loved your performance tonight,’ I said, eager for more conversational distraction.

  ‘Well, just for the record, you did a great job as Nick Bottom,’ she replied. ‘Not everyone can pull off the donkey ears, you know.’

  ‘Thanks. Too bad they don’t have an awards category for that.’

  ‘You should audition for more shows, Sebastian.’

  ‘I like theater and all, but the spotlight’s not for me. I don’t do well with the attention. I never have.’ I shrugged and gave a short laugh. ‘Maybe that’s why I’ve got friends like Katie and Avery. It makes things easier.’

  ‘Makes what easier?’ she asked.

  I shifted in my seat. I wasn’t used to all this soul bearing. ‘I don’t know. Blending into the background, maybe? I’ve always felt that’s where I fit. But that probably doesn’t make too much sense.’

  ‘You know, not everyone chooses to hide in the background,’ Josephine said in a soft voice. ‘Some of us can do it right in the middle of the limelight.’

  I glanced sideways at her. ‘Why would someone like you need to hide?’

  When Josephine didn’t reply, I turned my head to get a better look. Her lips were pressed close together, and I saw the delicate movement of her neck as she swallowed. Here it was again: a glimpse into the mysterious levels of her life, but this time, I wasn’t going to let the door close so quickly.

  ‘Josephine?’

  She jerked, coming back from her thoughts. Her lips softened. ‘Sorry, I just mean I think everyone needs to get away from the pressure of life.’ Her shoulders rose, then dropped. ‘My family is kind of…important to the Outcast clans. My father is in charge of a lot of stuff, and well, we just have a different status than the others. Makes it kind of hard to hide, sometimes. But I’ve gotten pretty good at it, when I want to.’

  So, Josephine was more than just the daughter of the circus boss. I wondered what pressures she dealt with; what was so overwhelming that she’d want to hide. I’d made some progress, but I wasn’t going to train-wreck it. One level at a time.

  ‘Well, you were a great Titania,’ I said, turning my attention back to the road and tugging on my hood. I could feel the weight of Josephine’s stare, even though my eyes were fixed ahead. ‘I just hate that I almost screwed up our scene, especially after all the work we put into it.’

  There was a long pause.

  ‘What did you see out there tonight?’ she asked.

  My hands tightened on the steering wheel.

  ‘Nothing.’

  ‘Sebastian, I know you saw something,’ she pressed, her voice eager. ‘This look came into your eyes; scary intense, just like that time in rehearsal when Alex threatened you, and then once, when I was with Quentin. Your face changes and your eyes get…strange.’

  ‘Strange?’

  ‘They take on this sheen like…’ Josephine puckered her lips in thought. ‘…like silver.’ She frowned. ‘I don’t know you very well, Sebastian. And you’ve always seemed a bit out there, not that it bothers me or anything. But lately, you just been…well…different.’

  ‘Maybe a little,’ I replied. It felt like a confession.

  ‘Does it have to do with me?’

  My stomach bottomed out. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I don’t know. It’s just that, whenever you’re around me, you act really weird.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘No, don’t be.’ She smiled. ‘You apologize too much.’

  ‘I’m sor…’

  I cut myself off before I could finish, and she laughed. I couldn’t help laughing back. The Sutallee Bridge rose before us, looking less like Norman Rockwell and more like something out of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. A dense fog had begun to roll in, settling heavily across the road.

  My van crept across the bridge, the old planks creaking under the wheels. Trees moaned eerily under the weight of a sudden breeze, and they flung their leaves across the gravel. I pressed on
the gas, eager to reach the Circe. The mist was at the level of my windows, reducing visibility. It curled against the glass, staring at me without eyes. A cold tingle spread from the base of my skull.

  This was no ordinary fog.

  ‘In all seriousness, Sebastian,’ Josephine continued, ‘you look different these days, too. I thought it was just your hair, but it’s more than that.’ She leaned closer. ‘There’s something else going on, isn’t there? Something besides being sick, like you told me before.’

  I sank deeper into my hood, staring at the road. Her question hung unanswered between us. The fog continued to thicken, and my stomach turned as I felt a deep chill sinking into my bones. Josephine touched my shoulder.

  ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ she began in her sweet voice. ‘I just…’

  Josephine’s sentence died in her throat. A dark figure loomed in the middle of the road, directly in the path of my van.

  I jerked the wheel. Josephine screamed. Brakes screeched and rocks spewed as we careered across the road. I whipped the van in the opposite direction but the gravel gave way, and we fishtailed off the road. The van ploughed into a tree. The sound of crumpling metal pierced my ears.

  Then everything went silent.

  15. Free or Bound

  I was trapped in a timeless void. Only silence and stillness. When I forced my eyes open, I was staring at cracks in the windshield. Mist coated the glass. I smelled metal and dirt. The passenger side was caved in. The seat was crumpled where Josephine had been.

  Josephine.

  I jerked in panic. Then I felt arms. They clung to my neck. A head was pressed against my chest. Heavy breaths pierced my shirt, warming my skin. I noticed my arm around her waist, and I gulped.

  ‘Josephine, are you all right?’

  Her body jolted at my words, as though coming out of shock. Her arms slipped from my neck, and I was cold again. ‘Yeah…I think so,’ she murmured. ‘What happened?’

  Though I’d only caught a brief glance of the figure in the road, I knew I’d seen it before…I knew I’d seen her before. Goosebumps sprouted from my skin. I couldn’t see anything outside but billows of fog. As much as I wanted to keep my arm around Josephine’s waist, a stronger drive compelled me.

  I had to protect her.

  ‘Stay here.’

  Josephine nodded, wide-eyed. I wrenched open the door, shoved down the lock, and shut the door firmly behind me. The mist was so thick that I could only guess at the placement of my feet. A breeze stirred, oddly warm, almost sickening. Or was it the stench in the air? I hunched forward, my skin crawling. The mist swirled and parted.

  The figure was nowhere to be seen.

  Something thumped above and behind me. I spun, skidding in the gravel. Another figure crouched atop the van. It was larger than the first and decidedly male. Mist clung to its body like a second skin. I couldn’t see the face, but I could feel the mocking stare. The figure gripped the metal roof and leaned over the window. Josephine’s face paled as she saw it, her terrified eyes luminous through the glass.

  Her fear ignited something inside me. A fierce sound burst from my throat, and I lunged for the van. My foot connected with the front bumper, and I launched myself onto the hood. I landed on all fours, white-hot fire racing through my veins. I dove forward but tackled only air as the figure sidestepped and flung its arms wide. It lifted off the van and into the night. The mist engulfed it, and then, the figure was gone.

  I stared at the spot where the figure had been moments before. Inside the van, Josephine was gaping at me, her hands pressed to the windshield. I sniffed the air. The stench was gone, too. I jumped to the ground, landing lightly in the gravel. I made a quick circuit around the vehicle.

  The trunk of an oak tree was firmly embedded in the van’s passenger side, and the front tire was mangled. There was no way we’d be driving the rest of the way to the Circe. I continued on around. Something white glinted against the back door handle. It was a scrap of paper, no bigger than a business card. There was writing on the paper, in a thick, heavy hand. Even in the darkness, it was easy to read.

  This is a test.

  I flipped the card in my hand. There was nothing on the other side. Kris’s voice suddenly came back to me as he’d spoken to my brother.

  ‘Test him.’

  Hugo’s test had ended with a slashed face. Now someone else was taking a turn? I shoved the paper into my pocket and surveyed the road. It was one thing to come after me. But Josephine could’ve been hurt. The thought sent fiery indignation through me. I could see the entrance to the Circe, just ahead. Good. I’d get Josephine to safety. Then, I’d come back and hunt these people down. And when I found them…

  ‘Sebastian?’

  I jerked so hard I nearly hit Josephine as she rounded the back of the van. She gasped and ducked out of the way. Her presence melted the haze in my head, and my heart instantly flew up my throat.

  ‘I’m…sorry.’

  Josephine didn’t meet my eyes. She was staring at my hand, which was gripping the door handle. In the dim light, gray claws glinted inhumanly from my fingertips. I flinched and stuffed my hands into my pockets. Josephine looked dangerously close to horrified. ‘Sebastian, how did you do that?’

  My pulse raced, but I gritted my teeth, determined to stay calm. ‘I was just trying to scare him off.’

  ‘But you leapt on the roof!’ She looked like she was trying to convince herself of what she’d seen. ‘Like serious, Olympic kind of leapt!’

  ‘Adrenaline kicked in, I guess.’

  ‘And your hand…’

  Don’t panic, Sebastian.

  ‘What? Oh, I just banged it on the van door.’ I conjured up every peaceful thought I could come up with, willing calm into my body. I took a breath, and slid my hand from my pocket. ‘See?’

  Josephine studied my hand, which was, thankfully, just a normal hand, except for a slight discoloring along the edges of my nails. The strange residue actually looked kind of like bruising and helped my lie.

  ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ she asked.

  The tone of her voice was laced with suspicion, and as she frowned up at me, I got the feeling she wasn’t referring to my injury. We’d been dancing around secrets all night, and we both knew it. Another awkward moment slipped between us.

  ‘Yeah, I’m fine,’ I replied, finally. ‘I’m just glad you’re all right. If I’d reacted sooner, turned the other direction, maybe.’

  ‘But you did react. I didn’t even see it until…’ Josephine hugged her arms. ‘Sebastian, what were those things?’

  ‘They weren’t things,’ I said, sounding more sure than I felt. There was something inhuman about the way the figures had vanished. ‘Just some drunks who wandered from the main road and got lost. They’re gone now.’

  ‘That one just stood there in the road, like it was asking to be hit.’ Shock radiated from her voice as she stared ahead. ‘If you hadn’t swerved…’ Her hand flew to her mouth. ‘Oh God, how’s your van?’

  ‘Not drivable, I’m afraid.’

  She pulled out her cell phone and flipped it open. ‘There’s no service.’

  ‘Not out here,’ I answered, glancing at the heavy branches above the road. ‘But we’re pretty close to the Fairgrounds, if you don’t mind walking.’

  Josephine nodded. ‘Yeah, let’s get out of here. I’m really creeped out.’

  And she definitely looked like it. I hovered close to her as we walked, constantly scanning the woods, the road, even the sky. I wanted her to feel safe with me, but inside, I was as freaked out as she was. Josephine’s gaze strayed in my direction, and I wondered if I added to her fear by my actions, not to mention my pole-vaulting imitation.

  Minus the pole.

  We made our way along the road, and I listened to the padding of Josephine’s feet on the gravel, the whisper in her throat as she breathed; the swish of ribbons against her long neck. It was unnerving how in tune I was to everything about her. I c
ould also tell she wanted to say something, but we continued on in silence. Pale light from the lampposts illuminated the gate, and beyond the iron bars, lay shady outlines of tents and pavilions.

  ‘You know,’ said Josephine, gently breaking the quiet between us. ‘I want you to consider me a friend.’

  I stole a quick glance in her direction. ‘Of course I do, Josephine.’

  ‘So can we talk? I mean, about what’s going on with you?’

  I sucked in a breath then looked down to hide my alarm. What could I possibly say that wouldn’t sound like I was crazy? ‘It’s nothing, really.’

  ‘Sebastian.’ The way she said my name gave me butterflies. She stopped walking and placed her hand on my arm. ‘Please, tell me.’

  My stomach knotted as I fought the urge to spill my guts right then and there. Josephine waited patiently, her eyes full and deep, like pools, sucking me in. I shoved my hands deeper into the pockets of my jeans.

  ‘Well,’ I began. ‘A few weeks ago…’

  The sound of boots crunching on gravel made me stop. The same instincts I’d fought with earlier kicked in. Before I could stop myself, I was in a crouch, upper lip curled back, fingers digging into the gravel. A strange noise welled up from my throat. Josephine cringed in surprise.

  ‘Get behind me,’ I hissed.

  A man stepped from the darkness, lantern in hand, moving towards us like a ghost from another time. He wore a heavy cloak around his shoulders. He peered at us through the bars.

  ‘Who are you? What are you doing here?’

  I narrowed my eyes, sizing the man up and weighing my odds. He was roughly my build, maybe a little taller. I could take him. But another man appeared with a dark creature at his side. I smelled wet fur, heard the rattle of a chain, and a dog’s low growl.

  ‘I asked you a question, boy,’ said first man. ‘Now, answer me.’