Select Few

by Marit Weisenberg

  A sprinkle of rain fell for the first time since I’d been at the cove. Angus had reappeared and was standing on the deck of our bungalow. I marched up the stairs, a defiant feeling flooding me with a strange sort of relief.

  A minute later, Emmanuel and Elizabeth followed and stood across from us on the deck.

  “Your friend left?” Emanuel asked in his deep voice.

  “He did.” I wouldn’t apologize for John’s intrusion even though an apology felt expected.

  “It’s time for you two to leave as well,” Emmanuel said apologetically. I looked over at Angus.

  “I’m sorry,” Emmanuel said. “But we can’t have this at the beach.”

  “Have what?” I asked.

  “Violence,” he pointed to Angus’s split lip. “Drama. People we don’t know arriving at all hours. Our livelihood depends on our reputation for quiet and discretion.”

  He sounded honest and slightly uncomfortable with the confrontation. I guessed this wasn’t his idea. And it wasn’t the true reason I was being kicked out. I’d reminded her too much of Novak.

  “What did you do to those kids?” Elizabeth interjected.

  I could see in her eyes that she’d already guessed. “I asked them to leave your beach.” I shrugged, as if bored by the conversation. “When do you need us out by?”

  “Today at noon,” Elizabeth said, her gaze level.

  I threatened both my parents’ kingdoms—Novak’s plans for his and the one of Elizabeth’s new identity. I was a reminder of a past each of them wanted to forget. The funny thing was, I had never asked to be born.

  “Thank you for having us. We’ll be out by then,” I said. I felt Angus’s anger, wanting me to argue, to make them let us stay at a paradise not unlike the one Novak had preached about.

  Elizabeth stood there, framed by the expanse of the cove behind her with her dark hair draped around her, white clothing flapping against her thin figure in the breeze and mist. She brushed her hair out of her eyes. For a moment, she looked like she was going to say more but stopped herself. Then she tried again. “The boy who was here…he’s not one of you is he?”

  “No,” I said. “Why? Would you like to exchange more information?” I made a move toward her. She involuntarily stepped back.

  For the briefest moment, she hesitated. Then she shook her head, indicating she had nothing further to say on the subject. That was what I’d thought. “I’ll say good-bye at noon,” she said and looked over at Emmanuel, ready for them to take their leave.

  “Good-bye.” I turned my back on them and walked inside the bungalow to the middle of the room. There was some satisfaction in losing hope, in knowing where things stood.

  The screen door clapped shut, and Angus entered the room. I stared at John’s glasses left behind on the small table.

  “Can you believe that?” Angus started.

  I didn’t answer him.

  “Will you at least look at me?”

  I wasn’t sure I could after what he’d done, but I forced myself. “Why did you do it?” He looked guilty, suddenly not meeting my eyes.

  “You don’t need him.”

  “That’s not your call.”

  “It’s the right thing to do,” Angus said, surprising me. It wasn’t what I’d expected him to say. Angus came closer. “I’ve never harassed you about the fact that you’re sitting on the answer to all their prayers. That you’re holding out on the group. I’m more loyal to you than them. That should tell you how much I believe in you. This summer, I wanted you to remember what it’s like to be one of us before you throw it away completely.”

  He touched my shoulder with a pleading expression on his face that I’d never seen before. “Look, we could start something new out here. You were supposed to be a kind of queen and you’re not. I was supposed to be a king. You and I have this power—more than anyone besides Novak. I was on the beach and I saw what you did with those kids. Julia, it’s meant for something. Maybe there are others exactly like us. If your boyfriend hadn’t shown up, if you hadn’t made those calls to him up top and been recognized, we could have stayed here. I’ve never seen a better option.” Angus searched my eyes, looking like a little boy, wanting me to join his fantasy. “It’s the perfect time to let him go.”

  “But that’s not what I want,” I said, realizing finally that I didn’t want to hide away from the world, even if there were risks.

  In a soft voice, Angus said, “He could still go back to how things were before he met you. If you really want to save him, you can. This isn’t going to go your way, Julia. I’m serious. They’re going to find him unless you leave with me right now.”

  I went over to my bag and riffled through it, finding what I was looking for in a small zippered pocket. I shoved past Angus and out the door.

  Elizabeth and Emmanuel’s figures grew smaller as they walked down the beach. I wondered what they were saying to each other, if anything. I went in the opposite direction, veering into the grey water until it was up to my thighs. With all my strength, I took the necklace my family had left for me and threw it as far as I could out into the cold ocean.

  “This is ridiculous.”

  “Come on. Let’s go,” I said in a monotone.

  Angus looked disdainfully at the woman who’d shown up at noon on the dot with a broom and a bucket of spray bottles. He looked like he was on the verge of having a tantrum. It seemed so odd for him to let down his guard over being kicked off the beach.

  The cleaning woman gave us the side eye.

  “It’s time to leave,” I said more firmly.

  We walked out in the clothes we’d arrived in almost three weeks ago.

  Pausing one last time on the deck, we looked out at the beach. The water was only twenty feet in front of the bungalows. In the distance, off to the side, three peaked boulders loomed like guards.

  “Elizabeth is different, and I wanted to figure it out,” Angus said. “I know it’s what Novak saw. You know what I mean?”

  I realized I’d had maybe two actual conversations with her. She’d been as elusive with me as she was with her “guests.” There was no pushing her further, even for John’s sake. “We don’t know her,” I finally said.

  “But we can read people, and there’s something special about her. It’s what draws these people to spend their money, just like people wanted to be near Novak. So what is it?”

  I knew he was right but if I’d had the chance to find out more, I’d lost it. “She’s a charlatan just like he is. Stealing people’s money. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

  “You’re okay with never seeing her again?”

  “This is actually easier. What if she had been full of tears and regrets and wanted me to be her long-lost daughter?”

  “I don’t know. At the end of the day, Novak was warmer.”

  It was true. He’d actually stepped up and raised me. And there had been moments when I knew he loved me, even if the rest of the Puris hadn’t wanted him to take the genetic wild card in.

  “She’s alive. She’s more than well. That’s really all I needed to find out.” I pushed away from the railing, heading down the wooden stairs.

  We walked down the beach slowly. I wanted to be seen, for people to know that I was being kicked out. I saw how they looked hungrily at me and Angus—as Emmanuel had said, we were the only young people many of them had seen in years. Maybe she’d told her people I was related but not her daughter. Most likely she hadn’t told them anything.

  One of the blond men, Jerry, was jogging along the beach with a fishing pole, and Tana had her chalkboard and was hovering at the base of the dining hall. For the most part, the beach was quiet because of the high tide. There was no sign of Elizabeth and her good-bye.

  Angus stood on the bottom step of the steep staircase to the road. “I’m going to leave this afternoon.”
<
br />   “Okay,” I said, trying not to care despite my thin skin.

  “I’m going to try to find them.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I’m sick of this shit. If you won’t be with me, I want to find our friends. I know where they are, and I’m going to get in, get my family back in. Maybe it is the best place. Maybe Liv will help.”

  “But you hate Novak. You hate him so much. Look at what you did to get away from him.”

  “I don’t know anything anymore. This is too hard.”

  Maybe he hoped that if he threatened this, I’d change my mind and go with him to live off the grid. I couldn’t tell if he meant what he said. I was still so angry with him after what he’d done with John, I wanted to get away from him in case this was a ploy to get in my head, to make me start to doubt. I didn’t give him any reaction.

  “What do you want?” I asked.

  “I want my boys back. I want to be free.” He looked out at the cove. “For a second, I thought the future was here, with you.”

  After our road trip and the time at the cove, I’d noticed how happy he was when he was surrounded by nature. He began walking up the stairs, leaving his pipe dream behind.

  Just as we reached the road, Emmanuel bounded up the treacherous stairs behind us like a mountain goat. I saw the flash of anticipation on Angus’s face, like he was being saved at the last hour. But all Emmanuel did was hold out a leather-bound journal.

  “We ask all guests to fill this out before they leave,” he said, not out of breath in the least, his calves hard as rocks.

  I opened the weathered, stained book and saw it was a guest book, the bookmark in place on a page not entirely filled yet. On a fresh line, I filled out “Julia Jaynes.” Under comment, I wrote nothing. My hand hovered for a second over “address.”

  I guessed Emmanuel hadn’t really cared about the guest book, that he’d wanted to make sure Elizabeth might have a way to get in touch, but in the end, I left the address blank. I didn’t want the burden of wondering if she would decide to find me. I closed the journal and handed it back. Across the narrow street, Carrie sat on her porch swing, watching us.

  “Thank you,” I said, nodding.

  “One more thing.” Emmanuel studied me for a second as if trying to make up his mind. Then he whipped a manila envelope out from under his arm and handed it to me. “She told me to clean out her things way back when, but I didn’t have the heart to throw that out. I’m sorry, I thought you being here would finally let a part of her rest.” He pointed to the envelope and pivoted, starting his trek back down to the beach.

  I held the envelope loosely with my fingertips, not wanting to touch it. For a second, I almost gave in to temptation and called after Emmanuel. I wanted to know what her tattoo meant, if my suspicions about 12-5 were correct.

  Standing on the precipice above the beach, I remembered asking about my birthday when I was a child. I recalled sitting in front of a towering Novak and Victoria, Victoria holding Liv on one hip. I could still remember the strawberries Liv had been eating sitting on a plate on the glass tabletop.

  I’d just asked when my birthday was, and a terrible silence had descended. I realized I’d done it again—I’d said something wrong but I didn’t know what. Novak and Victoria had looked at one another. Victoria had silently left the room with Liv.

  “November 28th,” Novak had answered. I was only four but even I’d known he’d made it up on the spot.

  “Hey,” Angus said when we got to the beat-up car he’d driven us here in.

  “What?”

  “I’m sorry about Elizabeth,” Angus said as he turned the key and the engine wheezed to life.

  I ignored Carrie’s wave. Pulling away from the cove, I closed my eyes and silently screamed. Birds surged from a tree in a chattering black burst.

  “Don’t be,” I said. “She showed me you can reinvent yourself and forget all about the past.”

  Late AUGUST

  JOHN

  It was hard to believe we split up. I went to Kalamazoo. I wouldn’t acknowledge what had happened in my head. I was in shock so that was the easiest thing to do. I couldn’t handle that you’d lied and cheated on me.

  If I was quiet off the court when I was with my family, I let everything out when I was on it. I did it out of spite. I didn’t want you to take everything away from me. I wanted to keep what I could for myself—all that strength and heightened sensory everything. That physical outlet was the only thing that felt good. If I could keep it going, maybe in a fucked up way I could stay close to you.

  AUGUST

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  I was sure I looked and smelled like a sea rat as I strode down the Rosewood driveway somewhere around midafternoon. All I was thinking of was getting back to my room, putting the sheets over my head, and staying there for days.

  “Julia!”

  I whipped my head around. Agent Kelly was wearing aviators and a light blue-and-white checked button-down and tan slacks. He camouflaged well with the other men milling at the entrance, waiting for their rides to make their post-lunch meetings.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “You wouldn’t return my phone calls,” Rafa said.

  Other eyes were looking me up and down. While Rafa did not do the same, I knew he had already taken measure of my appearance. Now he moved between me and the bystanders, blocking their curious gazes.

  My first thought was Angus. He should be miles away by now, having dropped me off in a parking lot ten minutes ago. After barely speaking on the drive, once we arrived in Menlo Park, he’d asked me one last time if I wanted to go with him. We hadn’t had much of a good-bye. I refused to believe he would or could execute his plan to find the others. He was only baiting me, craving my attention, wanting me to say I’d stay with him.

  A valet hopped out and tried to hand car keys to Rafa. “Can you hold it for me? Ten minutes?” he said to the young man.

  “I need to call my lawyer.”

  “No, you don’t actually. Come inside. This will only take one second.” Somewhere along the way, a familiarity had grown between Agent Kelly and me. It was easier to get it over with. I chose the most public area, and we sat on sofas in the middle of the hotel.

  “Why are you here?” I asked. “The phone couldn’t have been that important, I assumed.”

  “I received word that the investigation is closed.” Rafa let that set in.

  “What do you mean? How?”

  “My boss was informed by his boss who was informed by her boss. Your father has pulled some strings from wherever he is.” Now I could see Agent Kelly’s disgust.

  “It’s over?”

  “It’s over. I got called back to Texas.”

  “I didn’t even know you were in California. Were you following me?”

  “I was going to transfer here.”

  To watch me and wait to see if Novak contacted me.

  He added, “You can still tell me what exactly happened to Kendra so I can tell the Ashleys.”

  I hesitated, then demurred once again, shaking my head like I had no idea what he was talking about. He looked at me like a parent expecting more from their child: disappointed.

  I was free. I should have been amazed and happy, not ashamed. But I was ashamed about Kendra, ashamed of the power money wielded and how justice for the average person was an illusion.

  “That cell phone you gave me,” Rafa said.

  I looked up, thinking about how Donna and Kathryn would have been all over me had they known I’d met with Agent Kelly and given him the phone. But that didn’t even matter anymore.

  “The cell phone belongs to a man named Hank Grady, who works for Donna Williams.”

  What he said took me a second to understand. I stared at three large pink-and-white seashells on the table. People passe
d around us in the hotel lobby.

  “Donna hired that guy?” I asked, as if I were suddenly on the same side as Rafa.

  “He reported weekly to Donna on your whereabouts.”

  And she reported to Novak, or most likely to some secret person on the chain below Novak.

  “But I interviewed her for the job,” I said, my throat suddenly dry at the realization that Novak still controlled me. My mind reeled, thinking back to meeting her for the first time. She had been my first friend besides John after my family had left. I hadn’t even suspected.

  “She pulled it off and got the job like your father wanted her to or maybe he was in contact with her once she took the job.”

  I felt like such a fool that I had thought it would be that easy to trust someone new who came into my life. Now I had to worry about Kathryn.

  “Did this guy have photos of my boyfriend? Or was there communication about him?”

  “Not very much.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, my voice louder.

  “There’s a mention of you having dinner with a male your age but no photos were sent.”

  “Nothing else? No other mention?”

  “No. They may have spoken in person though.” Rafa sounded confused as to why I was so focused on this detail.

  I was silent, still not quite absorbing what he’d said about Donna and busy redrawing the picture of her in my head. “She has all my financial dealings under her thumb,” I said aloud.

  Agent Kelly nodded and remained with me for a moment. When he stood, I didn’t want him to go. I watched him walk out of the hotel lobby. I wasn’t free at all. I’d just learned that Novak was unbeatable.

  I knew John was flying to Michigan—to Kalamazoo for Nationals. That is, assuming he made it back to Southern California in time for his flight. It was the biggest tournament of the summer, the last tournament of John Ford’s life played as a junior. The winner received a wild card entry into the US Open.