Please Release Me

by Rhoda Baxter

  Hibs poured out fresh teas and coffees for all three of them. ‘What makes you think it’s any better out there?’ he asked as he put the drinks on a tray. ‘Get the door for me, will you, Vik.’

  They trooped upstairs, past Roger’s office and into the lab. Beth paused to check her pigeonhole for post. A card from Mum and Dad. A couple from friends from undergrad days, most of them joking about being a quarter of a century old. She raced through them, scanning to see who they were from and checking the envelopes twice, in case Gordon had sent the card home for someone to post. Nothing.

  Beth stomped into the office and plugged the laptop in to charge. Then she dropped into a chair and started to check her e-mail – maybe he’d got in touch while she was in the lab meeting.

  There were messages from a number of friends. A few posts on her Facebook wall. Nothing from Gordon.

  Had he really forgotten her birthday? They had agreed to stay in touch when he left, but after the first few e-mails, there had been nothing. Beth sighed. Why couldn’t she just get over Gordon? She missed him so much it hurt. It wasn’t just the comfort of having a boyfriend. She missed the way he looked at her, as though nothing and no one else mattered. When he really made time for her, it was incredible. Just thinking about it made her pulse quicken. Gordon could make her feel sexy and alive in ways that no one else had done. It was as though they connected at a deeper level than normal. Without him, everything seemed duller.

  She banged out a couple of responses to old friends. She didn’t really have much to say to them nowadays. They’d grown up and grown apart.

  ‘What’s up?’ Hibs came up behind her.

  ‘Nothing,’ she said as she closed down her Facebook page.

  She waited for him to squeeze past her chair and go over to his desk, but he remained standing behind her shoulder. ‘Still bothered about Roger?’

  ‘Yeah. Sort of.’ And another thing – neither of the guys had mentioned her birthday either. Well, that wasn’t fair. She always remembered theirs. She even organised the collections and bought them presents. It was official. This was the lousiest birthday ever.

  Hibs patted her on the shoulder. ‘Nothing like a bit of work to get your mind off things. Come on, Miss Tyler. To your bench.’

  She shrugged his hand off and stood up. ‘Sod off, Hibs.’

  ‘Now that’s no way to talk to your favourite postdoc.’ He pulled a disappointed face.

  He was right. Just because Gordon had forgotten, she shouldn’t take it out on Hibs and Vik. ‘Sorry.’ She pushed her hair back. ‘It’s not your fault. I’m sorry.’ Mind you, she thought, Vik and Hibs had forgotten too. That hurt. She’d thought they were friends she could rely on.

  ‘Apology accepted. Now, to work.’ He made shooing motions with his hands. Puzzled, Beth started towards her bench.

  The benches were laid out so that the lab was divided into a series of bays, with a walkway at the end separating them from the communal equipment. It was a small enough facility that Beth and Hibs had to share a bay. Roger had commandeered the first bay for himself, even though he rarely made it into the lab any more. Hibs had started using it to store various boxes of kit.

  Vik was loitering at the end of Beth’s work area. As the newest member of the lab, he got the smallest bench, tucked away in the back next to the solvent cupboard. There was no reason for him to be near her bench. Suspicion crept in. ‘What’s going on?’

  ‘Okay, time to close your eyes.’ Hibs was grinning. ‘Go on. Close them. Otherwise I’ll have to put my hands over your eyes.’

  ‘Ugh, no way. I don’t know where they’ve been.’ She closed her eyes. Hibs’s hand closed round her elbow and he guided her towards her bench. The warmth of the contact felt strange. She reminded herself that this was only Hibs. They worked in such a small space that they could almost bump into each other if they turned round too quickly. So, sharing space with Hibs shouldn’t bother her in the slightest. Except, today it did. Maybe she was just missing Gordon so much that physical contact with anyone was a big deal. She had to pull herself together.

  ‘Open your eyes.’ His voice was warm in her ear.

  As she opened them, both men shouted, ‘Happy Birthday!’

  They’d made a garland out of Eppendorf tubes and strung it along her bench. Someone had filled up several days’ worth of yellow tip boxes and drawn big bows on the autoclave tape that sealed them shut. Putting fiddly yellow pipette tips in the racks was one of the most boring chores in the lab and they’d saved her having to do any that week. In the middle of her tidy work area was a parcel, wrapped up messily, as only boys could do.

  ‘Oh. How lovely. Thanks guys.’ She really was touched. The heavy sadness that had been settling on her lifted. They’d remembered: she was loved.

  ‘You thought we’d forgotten, didn’t you?’ Vik was practically bouncing with excitement. ‘Go on. Open the present. Open the present.’

  Beth tore open the wrapping. Inside was a gift voucher for the camera shop in town and a T-shirt. She lifted it out – it was a skinny top with ‘It’s okay Pluto, I’m not a planet either’ written on it.

  ‘Is it the right size?’ Vik said. ‘Hibs guessed.’

  ‘Of course it’s the right size,’ said Hibs. He was leaning back against his own bench, on the other side of the small bay. ‘I’m good at guessing stuff like that.’

  Beth held it against herself. It would be a snug fit, but yes, it was the right size. It was kind of weird that Hibs had guessed her size so accurately, but then, maybe he’d seen enough women’s bodies to become an expert on them. Because he’d never made a move on her, she’d assumed that he’d not bothered noticing hers. It felt unsettling to think that he had.

  She picked up the birthday card. It had a Far Side print of two bacteria on it and she laughed. ‘That’s made my day!’

  Hibs watched Beth examining her gifts with pleasure. It had taken him ages to find the right presents for her and it was gratifying to see that she loved them.

  His lips twitched into a little smile. They always did that when he saw Beth. He couldn’t think when she’d first started having this effect on him. Certainly, when he’d first met her, he’d thought she was cute, sure, but nothing much more than that. He might have even found her attractive, but she’d displayed her appalling lack of taste by opting to go out with Gordon the Git, which made Hibs think of her as some sort of pretty idiot for a while. He knew now that she wasn’t an idiot – just a girl with terrible taste in men. Over the past few years they’d got to know each other well, like you do when you work opposite each other day in day out, and now she was a friend. Almost off-limits. But whenever he saw her, he felt like he’d become a better person just by looking at her.

  It had been a few months since Gordon the Git had flitted off to America, and Beth had finally stopped coming into work with red-rimmed eyes now. Maybe she was getting over him. Maybe if he approached her … but then if she wasn’t ready he’d have ruined a perfectly good friendship. Hibs sighed. Better to leave things as they were for now.

  Beth looked up and smiled. He stopped staring at her. Just a friend. Just a friend.

  ‘You guys are the best.’ She leapt off her seat and, to his delight, gave him a quick peck on the cheek. He watched Vik tense as Beth stepped towards him. She hesitated and touched Vik’s arm instead. ‘Thank you. I love them.’

  Hibs tried not to touch the spot on his cheek where Beth’s lips had touched it. She felt comfortable enough to kiss him on the cheek, but not Vik. It didn’t mean anything, of course, but he couldn’t help feeling pleased.

  Beth folded the vouchers inside the T-shirt and stowed them in her bag. ‘So, pub tonight then?’

  ‘Of course,’ said Vik.

  ‘Naturally,’ said Hibs. ‘Now, perhaps we should all get back to work? Before Roger comes in and accuses u
s of not being serious scientists.’

  CHAPTER TWO

  Hibs was disappointed to see that the bar was manned by a skinny guy with dodgy facial hair, rather than the new Aussie barmaid. Oh well, couldn’t be helped. The kid was busy taking someone else’s order, so Hibs leaned on the varnished wood of the bar to wait.

  From where he was standing he could see into the anteroom, where Beth was checking her phone while pretending to talk to Vik. She was still waiting for Gordon to call. It was past six in the evening. If he hadn’t called all day, it was unlikely he was going to now. Bloody Gordon. Seeing Beth all screwed up like this almost made Hibs wish the bastard would phone, just to put a smile back on her face. But Beth needed to get over this. If a day of obsessively checking for a birthday message that never showed was what it took …

  Maybe if Beth got properly, ridiculously drunk, it would help her break through this mental barrier that made her think that Gordon was actually a decent human being. Hibs had spent hours looking up advice on how to handle the situation. He knew that until she admitted to herself that Gordon was bad for her, she couldn’t accept help. Until that day came, Beth needed a friend more than she needed a boyfriend. He would have to be patient and not wreck the relationship they had right now. It was difficult having to wait, but wait he would. It wasn’t like he wasn’t able to have fun in the meantime.

  The kid behind the bar asked what he wanted. He ordered three pints.

  There was a blast of cold air as someone entered the bar. Hibs turned to see a slim girl, dressed far too formally for the pub. Spiky hair, nose stud. Multiple earrings. Figure-hugging dress showing off a flat stomach. A swing to the hips that was really rather special. He prided himself in knowing the enthusiastic from the skilled when it came to the bedroom, and he would be prepared to wager that this girl was the latter. Suddenly she turned and caught him looking at her. She held his gaze and raised an eyebrow. Oh. Yes. Definitely.

  Hibs picked up his drinks and went over to the girl. ‘Hello. Are you lost? Can I help?’

  She gave him a glance and a little smile. ‘I’m looking for someone.’ Her eyes honed in on him again. ‘Not you.’ Fabulous sparkly green eyes.

  ‘That’s a shame. Are your friends not here yet?’

  ‘Actually, I don’t really know them that well. It’s my new flatmate’s birthday today. She said she’d be here. I just wanted to pop in and say hello before I went somewhere else.’

  ‘That’s a coincidence. I’m here celebrating someone’s birthday. We’re just in the next room.’ He indicated the door to the anteroom, careful not to spill the drinks. ‘Want to join me?’

  She laughed. ‘I’m Anna.’

  ‘I’m Hibs. I’d shake your hand, but …’

  ‘Lead on, Hibs.’

  He was willing to bet anything that this was Beth’s new flatmate. As they entered, Beth looked up. Her eyes flicked from him to Anna and back again. A look of something like annoyance flitted across her face.

  ‘Anna. I thought you had an archaeology thing tonight.’

  ‘I don’t need to be there until later, so I thought I’d pop in and say hi.’

  ‘Everyone, this is Anna.’ Beth’s eyes settled on Hibs. ‘She’s my new flatmate,’ she said, meaningfully.

  Hibs knew she was trying to tell him to back off. She didn’t want him to make things awkward for her by bedding her flatmate. Fair enough. He understood, but it didn’t mean he had to make it easy for her. He had a reputation to protect. He grinned at her. ‘Anna and I have already met.’ He slid the drinks over the table, avoiding eye contact with Beth. He knew she hated that.

  It took a few minutes for the conversation to flow. Hibs kept his tone pleasant and conversational. Next to him, he felt Beth relax as it became obvious that he hadn’t turned on the charm. Vik was trying to make small talk, but wasn’t doing a great job.

  Anna turned to Hibs. ‘So, what sort of a name is Hibs?’

  He held her gaze without flinching. ‘A nickname.’

  ‘Have you got a real name too?’ Anna asked

  Beth looked from one to the other. ‘His name’s James,’ she said. ‘James Hibbotson.’

  ‘My brothers were at the same school,’ Hibs said. ‘So I got to be Hibs – the shorter Hibbotson. I think I got off lightly – the alternative was Hobbitson.’

  Anna leaned forward on her long slim arms. ‘Sounds like you were bullied.’

  Hibs laughed. ‘No, I wasn’t.’

  She looked sceptical.

  Hibs leaned forward too. ‘Do you want to know why? Because I was captain of the karate team.’

  Anna made an impressed face.

  ‘Sounds dangerous.’

  ‘Only if you don’t know what you’re doing.’

  ‘And do you … know what you’re doing?’ said Anna. Her eyes were dancing, inviting. Hibs had no doubt that she could be a lot of fun.

  ‘Of course.’

  Beth huffed. ‘Anna’s starting work at the Archaeology department next week,’ she said, loudly.

  Hibs turned to look at her, breaking his eye contact with Anna. Beth was getting annoyed. Winding Beth up was one of his favourite pastimes, but he would never go so far as to actually upset her. Besides, it would be far too weird to hang around Beth’s flat with Anna. He leaned back in his chair. ‘Archaeology huh? So, what are you working on?’

  Anna glanced round at her audience and started to explain her project. She was interrupted by a loud beeping

  ‘Sorry,’ said Hibs. ‘That’s me.’ He unclipped his laboratory timer from his pocket.

  ‘You’ve brought a timer to the pub?’ said Anna, incredulously.

  Beth, Hibs and Vik all looked at her, surprised. They often brought lab timers to the pub. Especially if they were there at lunchtime.

  ‘Science is a cruel mistress,’ said Hibs. ‘I’ll be back in a bit.’ He threw back the rest of his drink and pulled on his coat. ‘Beth, did you need me to set up your cultures for tomorrow?’

  Beth shook her head. ‘I did them before I left.’

  ‘Tomorrow? It’s Saturday tomorrow,’ said Anna.

  ‘We’ve got a bit of a rush on,’ said Beth. ‘We don’t always work Saturdays.’

  ‘Well, Hibs does,’ said Vik.

  ‘That’s because I’m a sad git,’ said Hibs. ‘Right then, boys and girls, I’ll leave you now. It was good to meet you, Anna. I’m sure we’ll see you again.’

  Her eyes locked on to his. ‘Oh, I’m sure you will.’

  After Anna left to go to her dinner, there was only Beth and Vik left. While Vik was telling her about his aunt’s latest attempt to fix him up with a wife, Beth sneaked another look at her phone. Still nothing from Gordon. She did a quick calculation. He would have been up and about for hours now. Plenty of time for him to send an e-mail or text. She sighed and slipped the phone back into her pocket.

  ‘What’s up?’ said Vik.

  ‘Nothing.’

  Vik raised his eyebrows. Whatever he was going to say was interrupted by Hibs’s return.

  ‘Everything okay in the lab?’ Beth asked.

  ‘Yes,’ Hibs said, shrugging off his jacket. ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘Beth’s waiting for a call,’ said Vik.

  Hibs slid into his seat. ‘I take it Gordon hasn’t called to wish you a happy birthday then?’

  Beth said nothing and took a sip of beer. The tang was welcome on her tongue. Gordon didn’t like her drinking beer because he thought she looked silly holding a pint glass in her small hands. ‘Beth, you need to let it go.’

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ she said. Hibs had never liked Gordon. The two men had always sniped at each other on the few occasions they’d been in the same room. Now Hibs was constantly going on about how she shou
ld get over Gordon and move on.

  ‘Don’t give me that,’ said Hibs. ‘It’s been, what, six months since you split up? Has he called you in that time? Or e-mailed?’

  Not for months. ‘He’s probably busy.’

  ‘I thought he dumped you,’ said Vik.

  ‘It’s not like that,’ she replied, weakly. Wasn’t it? All this time, she’d been giving him the benefit of the doubt – he was busy, the time difference was awkward – but it would really have taken no time at all to write her an e-mail. He had the perfect excuse to call her on her birthday and he still hadn’t.

  ‘I don’t know why you let him do this to you, Beth,’ said Hibs. ‘He treats you like crap.’

  ‘He doesn’t. Didn’t.’

  ‘Really? When you were going out with him, when did you last do something that you wanted to do? You even stopped doing your photography because he disapproved,’ said Hibs. ‘He bullied you.’ He frowned and took a long sip from his pint.

  ‘He didn’t bully me. He never touched me.’

  ‘There is such a thing as emotional abuse, you know.’

  ‘Like you’d know anything about it,’ Beth snapped. ‘Sometimes you can be a really immature.’ Okay, so Gordon didn’t like her doing her photography, but it was only because he wanted them to spend their spare time together. Hibs had never been with one woman long enough to fall in love. He could never understand what she’d had with Gordon.

  ‘I’m not the one pining after some guy who hasn’t been in touch for six months.’ Hibs leaned forward, daring her to contradict him.

  ‘Hey. Come on guys.’ Vik held up his palms. ‘Calm down.’

  They both glowered at him.

  ‘Anyway,’ said Beth. ‘It’s not like you’re qualified to lecture me about relationships. It’s not like either of you have had a serious relationship, ever.’

  The men both stared at her like she’d gone mad. Annoyed now, Beth carried on.

  ‘Vik, have you ever had a proper relationship? Not just a one-off date who ended up not returning your calls?’

  Vik looked at his pint. ‘There was a girl once. Back home. We went to the cinema a couple of times. Held hands. Does that count?’