I'm Still Here: A Novel

by Jon Mills

  Kara took a seat beside him.

  “They’ve really changed Blackmore, haven’t they? This used to be a kids’ playground with a splashpad,” Kara said looking around.

  He scoffed. “Where the hell you been? That was fifteen years ago.”

  She smoothed out her navy pants and looked at the other workman hauling in lumber. The high-pitched squeal of a saw, along with hammering and forklifts in operation, could be heard. A dull sky spread out overhead, the remnants of dark clouds faded into blue.

  “I don’t know how to say this without you taking offense so I’ll just come out with it. Was any of your family involved in the abduction of Charlie Walker?”

  He shot a sideways glance, a look of surprise more than disgust. Instead of answering he took a hard pull on his cigarette and just shook his head in disbelief.

  “Your mother put you up to this?” he asked.

  “My mother?”

  “She’s Anna Walker, right?”

  Kara nodded.

  “Well then, did she?”

  “No. My mother’s passed on.”

  He frowned. “But I only saw her only a few months ago.”

  “She visited you?”

  He snorted. “Four times. Damn woman was persistent, I’ll give you that.”

  “So she asked you about the case against Harris?”

  He blew smoke out the corner of his mouth and squinted with one eye. “She wanted details. You know, why did I stay on for another year if he was abusing me?”

  “And?”

  “I wouldn’t answer her. I told her if she came around again I would get a restraining order against her.”

  “And yet here you are giving me the time of day.”

  He cast her a sideways glance before looking at his watch. “Like I told your mother. What happened, happened. He won the case, it’s in the past.”

  “And you aren’t pissed?” Kara asked.

  “He’s behind bars, isn’t he?”

  He looked away and she nodded.

  “Do you think he was guilty of the abduction of my brother?”

  He snorted and blew smoke out his nostrils. “It doesn’t matter what I think. The jury made the decision and that’s it.”

  “So then why did you stay on that extra year?”

  His knee started bouncing and she noticed a few things that changed in his body language. If he was a person of interest in a criminal case and they were having the conversation in an interview room, she’d likely push him harder as he was showing signs that might have given her cause for concern. Still it was hard to tell. Victims didn’t always run from their abusers. Most assumed it would eventually stop.

  “I had my reasons,” he replied.

  He hopped off the table and started pacing.

  “What do you mean?”

  Ricky looked at her. “I’m sorry but that’s all I’m going to say.”

  “Who are you protecting?”

  “No one.”

  “No? Then why won’t you tell me? Seems like a pretty normal question to answer unless you have something to hide.”

  He scowled at her before she continued. “Look, after Charlie, four more boys were abducted and their bodies were never found. Harris was inside when they went missing. They all went missing on Halloween, five years apart. Now either someone out there is copying what the guy did to Charlie or we are dealing with the same person. In which case, he’s going to take another one on Monday. This is about a kid’s life. Please, Ricky. I need to know.”

  He sighed and looked back at her before taking a seat on the table again. He stuck his hands into his jacket pockets and gazed down at the ground, kicking a few loose stones out of the dirt.

  “At least answer one question. Why weren’t any of your family at the trial of Kyle Harris?” Kara asked.

  “What was done was done.”

  “Your mother sounded real pleased to hear that he was inside after escaping justice in your case. Yet none of you came forward and added your two cents. I read the articles, saw videos and was there for the trial. There were a lot of people from the community that showed up and voiced their concerns but strangely enough you and your family were nowhere to be seen.”

  He shook his head. “Look, it was hard enough going through it the first time. It’s in the past, and I would appreciate you not bothering my mother or brother.”

  Kara’s brow furrowed. “Brother? That’s right, your brother went to the same dojo, didn’t he?”

  “Yes. And?” he shot back.

  “Did Harris ever touch him inappropriately?”

  “What? No. My brother had nothing to do with what I told the police.”

  “Hold on a second. He had nothing to do with what you told the police?”

  He started to look flustered as if he had tripped up over his own words.

  “He wasn’t involved.”

  “Involved in what? Is that why you stayed on an extra year? Are you trying to protect your brother? Should I be speaking with him?”

  “No. I…” He closed his eyes and exhaled hard.

  “This is getting confusing,” Kara said running a hand over her head.

  “It never happened. It was a lie!” He blurted it out and breathed hard as if a load had been lifted off his shoulders. He put his head in his hands and blew out his cheeks.

  Kara’s brow pinched. “A lie? What was a lie?”

  “The accusation. Everything. It was a mistake.”

  “A mistake?” she asked.

  He groaned and looked off towards his workmates as he if he regretted deciding to speak to her. “It never happened. Kyle Harris never touched me. I made it up.”

  “Why?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t want to discuss this.”

  “I think it’s a little too late for that. Please, Ricky.”

  His jaw clenched. “A few months before the accusation, Caleb was one of the boys that were assaulted in Blackmore.”

  “But those assaults happened between ’89 and ’91? The media reported the assault on you between February 1987 and March 1988. That would have placed his assault in late 1986. Are you telling me that there were more than two attacks in Blackmore?”

  He nodded. “In December of 1996 we went to the police but there was nothing they could do. They took a statement and said they would look into it but that was it. Nothing ever came of it. It was a joke.”

  “Did your brother see the face of his attacker?”

  “Not clearly. It was late at night. However he thought he could remember his voice and well my father grilled him over it so badly and wouldn’t accept that he couldn’t come up with something. So…”

  “You pinned it on Kyle,” Kara said finishing what he was about to say.

  He nodded.

  “But why? Why him?”

  He tossed up a hand. “Opportunity. Stupidity. We were both young. He was my kid brother. Besides, we’d heard rumors from others saying that Harris was gay. You know, because he was never seen with a woman, and my brother thought his voice sounded similar.”

  “But he wasn’t sure?”

  “No, he wasn’t.” He sighed. “Anyway instead of having my brother deal with it I came up with the idea to accuse him. I just figured if it was him behind my brother’s assault he might panic and confess to the police and it would be over.” He bit down on the side of his lip. “Look, we were just kids. I didn’t expect it to go as far as it did. I didn’t know it would ruin his life. I was only fourteen, my brother was eleven.”

  There was a long moment of silence before Kara spoke. “So you’ve never told the cops this?”

  “I thought about it. Many times. I mean before he was arrested and charged with the abduction of Charlie but no… I guess I just assumed that maybe it was him. You know. Somewhere in my mind I…”

  “Hoped it was him?” Kara said.

  He nodded. She understood that. Heck, her father would have understood that. It was easier than having to deal with the alte
rnative that a stranger was walking the streets attacking and abducting boys.

  “Did Sherriff Smith ever speak with you?”

  “No. We dealt with frontline police officers. Listen, for my mother’s sake, and my brother, I would really appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone about this.”

  She couldn’t guarantee that. The bombshell he’d just revealed was the smoking gun. Had that been known at the time of the trial it would have no doubt played a key role in determining evidence submitted by Sheriff Smith.

  Chapter 30

  Lies. Everyone told them. Sometimes it was to protect those closest, other times it was simply a means of surviving how people perceived you. Kara thought long and hard about her conversation with Rick on the journey back. Armed with sketches from Ray Owen, she was keen to speak with him and find out why he kept leaving the same one with the Caldwells, and had he left any others? Her mind was buzzing with activity, trying to connect the dots. It was right there before her but she was still unable to make sense of what she had so far. It could be anyone.

  The phone rang and she hit the button on her steering wheel to accept the call.

  It was Noah. “Hey, where have you been? I’ve been trying to get hold of you for the past hour.”

  “I was busy.”

  “Well I’ve got news. There were no bodies buried in Seth’s basement and the team turned over the yard and there are no bones. We also can’t find any DNA or prints that would lead us to believe that he’s had any contact with these boys or Charlie. Despite his home turning up a lot of vile crap, that’s about it. They’ll continue to process what they find but it looks like Seth was just a very sick man.”

  “And the autopsy report?”

  “Natural death by the looks of it but we’ll have to see what the toxicology report turns up.”

  “In four to six weeks.” She sighed.

  “Right. Anyway, what have you been up to?”

  “I went and spoke to Kyle. Face to face.”

  “What? You flew to Walla Walla?” Noah asked.

  “I had to.”

  “Had to?”

  “I needed to look into his eyes.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

  “I’m not saying I don’t, it’s just…. Well, what came of it?” Noah asked.

  “He didn’t know either of the three men, but I followed up with Ricky Weslo. The boy who originally accused him of molestation. Get this… he lied.”

  “You’re joking?”

  “He made it all up. Ricky told me everything. But that’s not all. His brother was one of the boys that was attacked and assaulted prior to Charlie’s abduction.”

  “Well this just keeps getting better.”

  She exhaled hard. “Anyway I’m heading over to Ray Owen’s place to find out more about these sketches before this evening’s vigil.”

  “Have you eaten today?” Noah asked.

  The SUV weaved its way around the streets on the way into Blackmore. “Had a granola bar, and a bottle of water.”

  “You need to slow down, Kara.”

  She shook her head. “No, we are down to the wire. By the way, you heard any news from Blackmore Police Department on Mary Harris?”

  She heard him groan. “Officer Johnson managed to track her down. She’s denying breaking into your father’s home or throwing a brick through the window. Though she didn’t hide the fact that she doesn’t like you.”

  “I didn’t expect she would.”

  Noah went quiet for a second or two.

  “About last night, Noah,” Kara began to say before he cut her off.

  “It’s okay. You don’t need to say anything. I get it. It was a mistake.”

  She scoffed. “Actually that’s not what I was going to say but…”

  Before she could address the elephant in the room Noah shifted gear. “Look I would come along with you to Ray Owen’s place but I have a meeting with my lawyer regarding pushing forward with the appeal in Amanda’s case. It’s last minute.”

  “You going through with it?” she asked.

  “To be honest I really don’t know. I’ve been so distracted by what’s going on with the attempted abduction, I haven’t had time to really give a lot of thought to it.”

  “You sound torn.”

  “Do I?” He chuckled. “Maybe I am.” There was a pause for a second. “Look, I’ve got another call on the line. Someone’s trying to reach me. Did you say you were still planning on going to the vigil tonight?”

  “That was the plan.”

  “Okay, if I manage to squeeze away maybe I’ll join you.”

  The sun was sliding hard to the west when Kara pulled into the Owens’ place. Ora Owen was Ray Owen’s mother. Even at the age of forty-five, he still lived with his ailing parent. She was a short, wide woman with red cheeks and curly hair that was almost gray. She wore a low, V-neck flowery dress and sandals, and had one too many beads draped around her neck. Unlike others who were more than willing to talk, the sight of the police badge only got up her back up. Instead of inviting Kara in, she stepped out onto her porch and closed the screen door behind her. The instant she folded her arms, Kara knew she wasn’t going to get far.

  “It’s just a few routine questions,” Kara said.

  She spoke with a Southern twang, which made it clear she wasn’t born in Blackmore. “About?”

  “Sketches he left at the vigils of the parents whose boys went missing. Look, is he around?”

  “He’s at work,” she replied.

  “And where might that be?”

  “That’s none of your business.”

  “Then when will he be home?”

  “Later tonight.”

  “Approximately?”

  “I don’t monitor my boy, how should I know?”

  Kara exhaled, putting a hand on her hip and casting a glance across the road to one of the neighbors. It wasn’t the best neighborhood in Blackmore but a step up from where Sam was staying. Most of the homes had fallen into disrepair, with crumbling foundations, peeling paint and shingles that needed replacing.

  “Look, I’m not sure what your experience has been with the police department but—”

  Her face twisted as she cut her off. “They didn’t listen to him then and they sure as hell wouldn’t listen to him now,” she said. “So you’re wasting your breath, and you’re wasting my time.”

  “Listen to him?” Kara asked.

  “This is about the boys that went missing, right?”

  Kara nodded.

  “My boy has a gift and he spoke to the police but they wouldn’t give him the time of day. I heard what they said about him. Calling him a kook. There were even those who said he was responsible.”

  She recalled the information her mother had on him, how Owen had approached her in the weeks after Charlie’s abduction, and yet she couldn’t recall any of his sketches being among the items on the wall. If he had a habit of approaching the parents of the missing, surely he would have left behind sketches. There was a good six years of vigils before Harris was put in jail and the case was closed.

  Kara said, “I’m…”

  Before she could get any further words out, Ora turned and refused to speak anymore. She closed the door leaving Kara on the porch with more questions than answers. Returning to her vehicle she considered parking a short distance down the street and waiting for him to arrive but with nightfall closing in and the Port Townsend vigil a few hours away, she figured she might stand a better chance of seeing him there than waiting for him outside.

  After leaving the Owen residence and making it halfway to Port Townsend her phone rang again. Thinking it was Noah having forgotten something, she tapped accept and said, “Yes, don’t worry, I will be staying at my father’s place tonight.”

  “Kara. It’s me. Sam!”

  “Sam?”

  “Didn’t you get my messages?”

  “I called back and left one of my
own.”

  “Oh the machine is on the blink. I haven’t been able to get it to work for weeks. Listen I need to show you something immediately.”

  “Can’t do that, I’m on my way over to a vigil. How about tomorrow?”

  “It can’t wait. This is important.”

  “What’s important?”

  “I went back there.”

  “What! Where?” Kara asked.

  “Clayton’s farm.”

  “Last night? Are you joking?” she said.

  “Kara, listen to me. He’s got all these kids’ clothes in a box in his closet.”

  “Hold on a second. You were in his closet?”

  “Long story. All you need to know is I have evidence. I took photos. Now it might not be there when we go back but I can prove he has it.”

  “Kids’ clothes? Maybe they belonged to his son.”

  “What, Polaroids of nude kids too?” she asked.

  “What?”

  “Look, just come over. I’ll show you everything.”

  “I can’t, I’m already an hour away. I promised I would be at the vigil, besides, I need to see if Ray Owen shows up.”

  “Forget Ray Owen. Clayton is the one. It’s him.”

  There was a pause then Kara asked, “Look, where are you now?”

  “I’m out but you need to see these.”

  She sighed. “Sam, are you making this up?”

  “Why would I do that?”

  “To get back at him for what he said yesterday.”

  “No. But that’s why I went there. I figured I could—”

  Before he finished she said, “Listen, I’m gonna give you the number for Noah Goodman. Tell him what you told me and he’ll…”

  “No. I can’t do that. If they find out I’ve been in his house, I’m going to be in a lot of shit. I already have a few black marks against my name. No, this needs to be you. I’ll hand this over to you but I have to stay anonymous in this.”

  “Sam.”

  “No, Kara.”

  She sighed. “Look, I’m nearly in Port Townsend. I’m following up on a lead.”

  “Kara!”

  “All right. I can be there in about three hours. That’s the best I can do. Otherwise you need to call Goodman.”