No Regrets: A Novel of Love and Lies in World War II England (The Thornton Trilogy Book 1)

by Payne, Mary Christian

  Finally, he spoke. “My God, Elise. It’s been ages since I’ve felt so completely decadent. The past five years were so barren of anything resembling this. You can’t imagine how nice it is to take time to enjoy a pretty day, with a beautiful woman, splendid wine, and peace of mind. Thank you for suggesting this picnic. It’s such a treat for me.”

  “Oh Sloan, you’re welcome. It’s special for me, too. I can’t remember the last time I did anything like this. I’m very content with my life, but it’s nice, every now and then, to get away from routine, and remember how fortunate we are to finally have the war behind us – to still have the freedom to take time out for idyllic diversions like this.”

  He smiled at her, and she remembered what her brother had suggested. She looked down at the ground and then raised her head, smiling sweetly as she looked straight into his eyes.

  “Elise, you’re the picture of perfection. I’m not just saying that. You really are. Everything about you reminds me of a fine, old, Victorian portrait. I wonder if you truly know how special you are.”

  “I’m just me. There are hundreds of women more special than I am. Thank you for such a nice compliment, but I think you’re a bit prejudiced.”

  “I’ve always been prejudiced about you. You know that. From the first time I saw you.”

  “Yes, I remember. Are you still such a believer in soulmates?” She sighed, and sipped her glass of wine.

  “Absolutely. In fact, perhaps even more. I have an old friend from Oxford, whom I ran into in London, after I returned from the war. We met for a bite to eat and ended up discussing that very topic – soulmates. His name is Elliott Woodbridge. He’s probably an even bigger believer in that concept than I am. He’s actually studied about it.”

  “Studied about it? Where in the world does one study about soulmates?” Elise laughed.

  “In a library for starters. He quoted bible passages and Plato. I was amazed. If the theory is only rubbish, a lot of very admirable sources beg to differ.”

  “The Bible?” Elise echoed.

  “Yes. I’ll show you the chapter and verse someday. In any event, it’s a concept that’s been around for centuries. So you see, I have some very good authority to back up my beliefs.”

  “That is very interesting. I have such a practical way of thinking. I’ve never been what one would call a dreamer. But perhaps it isn’t only a notion for idealists.”

  “It isn’t, Elise. I probably am somewhat more of a idealist than you – I’ve always tended toward romanticism – but when it comes to important beliefs and ways to conduct my life, I’m quite logical. When I say ‘romanticism’, I’m speaking more in terms of the type of art and literature I enjoy, and, yes, having a tendency to see the world through rose-coloured glasses. I wouldn’t call myself a ‘romantic’ in the sense that I’ve spent my life bowling women over with poetry and music.”

  “I understand what you’re saying.” Elise reached for a little plate and asked if he’d like her to put some selections of food on it for him. He nodded and thanked her, but continued the conversation.

  “Elise, I know I spoke of my feelings impulsively when we first met. I was honestly astonished when I saw you. You fit my ideal so perfectly, and it seemed fate had intervened in my life. But it was poor timing. There were things I didn’t know about you then. I was too forward and too blunt. I’m sorry for blurting out things I should have kept to myself, but I can’t apologize for the feelings I had.”

  Elise filled a plate for herself, after handing one to him.

  “There’s no need to apologize to me for anything. You didn’t say or do anything wrong. You couldn’t help what you felt, and then too, you’d been injured. It was war, and neither of us had any idea what was going to happen next. I wasn’t offended. I just thought that you were a bit strange,” she giggled.

  “What a nice compliment,” he replied, also laughing. “Well – so – I believe I’m fortunate to have had the chance to see you again and to test out whether my original thoughts were correct.”

  “I suppose I should ask if they were?” she answered.

  “I hesitate to say. Not because I don’t have an answer. But because I’m not certain that you’re ready to hear.”

  She glanced at him again and smiled. “Well, I suppose you could try.”

  They’d finished eating, and he refilled their wine glasses. “All right, Elise. I’ll tell you. Not only do I feel the way I did in 1940, but those sensations have grown a hundred-fold. When I first saw you, it was your outward beauty that knocked-me-for-six. Now feel that I’ve learned to know what you’re like on the inside, and every facet of your exquisite loveliness is a reflection of your inner beauty. In short, I’m very certain I’m in love with you. Can I be more honest than that?”

  Elise was silent. She hadn’t expected such a proclamation of love – not in a thousand years. Her heart beat very rapidly. How should she respond? She felt as though her entire life might hinge on her next words. Finishing her glass of wine, she set the empty glass in the hamper. She thought very carefully before speaking.

  “Sloan. ‘Love’ is a very important word. It implies so many things. Are you certain you know me well enough to use that word? I know you say you do. I know Anne told you my entire story. But, it’s important to me that you really understand everything. I’m frightened to give my heart to you, only to learn later that you didn’t know all of the facts. I’d feel so much better if you’d let me tell you myself.”

  “Elise, I don’t want to ruin a perfect day by putting you through the sadness of having to recall painful memories. I do understand. I’m not the least interested in your past. Honestly. The future is what’s important to me. Please, let’s leave the past behind.”

  “All right. If that’s what you prefer.” There was silence again, and she sat looking at the ground, playing with a blade of grass.

  “What are you thinking, Elise?” he asked.

  She looked up at him. There were tears in her lovely eyes. This time it wasn’t artifice, and Josef’s advice was far from her mind.

  “I’m thinking that I love you, too. It frightens me to say that. But it’s true.”

  He leaned over and took her into his arms. “Elise, I don’t ever want you to be frightened again in your life. I want to marry you, take care of you, and always protect you. The bad times are over for both of us. I want you to be the future Countess of Wexford – the beautiful lady who will oversee Highcroft Hall someday. Please tell me you want that, too.”

  His lips found hers, and the kiss was overwhelming. He was gentle and tender, yet the passion ran deep. She melted into his arms. Never in her life had she imagined feeling this way. She’d been kissed before, of course, but not like this. Never like this. She was acutely aware of everything around her – the soft breeze, the birds in the trees, the colour of the sky and the soft, green grass. It was a moment of perfection.

  “Of course, I accept your offer,” she murmured. “How could I not, when it’s what I want more than anything in the world?”

  His arms tightened about her, and he kissed her again – her eyes, her cheeks, her neck. Finally, they released one another. Her face was flushed and her eyes sparkled.

  “I do love you so, Elise. I’ll spend every moment for the rest of our lives making you happy.”

  “I love you, with all of my heart, Sloan. I’ll try to be the best wife to you. There’s only one other thing I think we need to discuss.”

  “What, darling? Surely there isn’t any impediment to our loving and marrying?”

  “No, no. Nothing of the sort. But there is Chloe. You know I adore her. I could never consider marrying any man who wouldn’t love her as much as I do- who wouldn’t think of her as his own daughter. If you don’t feel you could do that, tell me now. She is so precious to me. She needs a father. I’ll never marry unless the man can fill such a role.”

  “Elise, of course I’ll make Chloe mine. I already love her. She reminds me of the way y
ou must have been at her age – before the war and loss had done things to you. I would do anything to make certain she has a wonderful life. I’d like to adopt her, if that’s what you want. I want her to be Chloe Thornton. I’ll be her father in every sense of the word. I’d hope we have more children, but if not, then Chloe will be a radiant ray of sunshine in my life.”

  They kissed again. It was exactly what she’d hoped to hear. She prayed they’d have other children, too. She wanted a brother or sister for her daughter. Elise was well-aware that Sloan had a responsibility to produce an heir. Her next child would be born of love and would be planned. She couldn’t imagine loving a son or daughter more than she loved Chloe, but if those circumstances were added, it would be unimaginably perfect.

  When the afternoon ended, they walked hand-in-hand to the automobile, still a bit lightheaded from the wine and the love they’d confessed. They’d made the decision to tell Josef, Chloe, and his parents first. Then Sloan knew Lord and Lady Thornton would want to announce it to the world, with a splendid engagement party. If Elise had ever been happier in her life, she couldn’t remember when.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  To say everyone was happy about the news of their engagement would be an understatement. To begin with, Chloe was over-the-moon. She didn’t know Sloan as well as she was about to, but the idea of having a Daddy was a dream come true for her. He’d always been exceptionally kind and loving towards her, and there was no doubt he would be a wonderful father. When Elise told her their happy news, Chloe jumped up and down and literally screamed. She had taken to dancing a little jig when filled with happiness. Sloan laughed and told her he would buy her a pony of her own, and allow her to name it whatever she pleased. At four years old, it was every child’s dream. Chloe was no exception. He told her he would teach her to ride, and they’d explore the woods around her new home, Highcroft Hall. She had visited there before, with her Mummy and Aunt Gissy. It was unbelievable that she’d soon be living there.

  For that matter, Elise felt the same way. She fretted a bit about whether she had the necessary skills to oversee such a large estate. Sloan assured her that she did, and also promised that his mother would be there to teach her anything she didn’t know.

  Josef was ecstatic when he heard they were engaged. He’d strongly suspected that would be the outcome eventually, and was glad it hadn’t taken forever to come to fruition. He told Elise that if he could find employment in Thornton-on-Sea, he’d stay on and continue to lease No Regrets, which, he said, was certainly living up to its name. He and Sloan spoke at length about what Josef wanted to do regarding the restaurant business, and when they announced their decision to go into partnership in a new French Brasserie, Elise was bowled over. The idea of Josef no longer having to take orders from an employer was divine. He’d put away a substantial bit of money during the war years. The farmhouse in France was also for sale. In addition, Sloan was chipping in half of the investment. So, there was plenty of capital to lease a building with a smart address, renovate it, and employ necessary staff. They’d already settled on Chez Chloe as a name. Needless to say, the idea of having a restaurant named for her, practically took the child’s breath away. Josef planned to have a life-sized portrait of Chloe, dressed in an old-fashioned Victorian frock, hung over a fireplace inside of his country-French restaurant.

  Then there were Sloan’s parents. Lady Celia was happy that she’d have full reign over planning the wedding, since Elise had no mother of her own to assume that task. She thought Elise was a lovely, sweet girl – perfect for Sloan. Although she still loved Anne, she wasn’t the least disappointed that he’d settled on Elise. When she’d had time to think it over, the conclusion was reached that Elise was a better choice for her son. Lord Rowan had always thought her a grand girl. Her demure prettiness pleased the old gentleman. He knew she would be a perfect countess and, besides his son’s happiness, that was a primary concern.

  Sloan bought Elise a magnificent, emerald ring, and they set the wedding date for December 28, 1945 two days following Boxing Day. Since on Boxing Day, itself, servants were given time off to visit relatives, as a means of thanking them for their hard work over the holiday period, the chosen date, two days after that, allowed time for all plans to be finalised.

  Preparations needed to be put into effect immediately. An engagement party was planned for the end of October. Elise and Lady Celia went to work on an invitation list. Elise also began to plan for the wedding itself. She wished more than anything to have Giselle present, to act as Matron of Honour. Whether such a thing was feasible was yet to be determined, but she planned on contacting her friend to find out. Chloe would, of course, be a bridesmaid again, just as she’d been at Ted and Giselle’s ceremony. Elise also intended to ask three other girls who’d become her friends after she’d taught them French. Sloan was going to ask Elliott Woodbridge, from London, to be his Best Man, and there was no shortage of friends from Thornton-on-Sea to act as ushers. He hoped Giselle and Ted would make the trip. If so, he would ask Ted to be a part of the nuptials. Things were off to a wonderful start, when Sloan had lunch with Anne, and everything came to a grinding halt. It was like a bad thunderstorm after a sunny day.

  He only rang Anne because it was the proper thing to do. After all, they’d once been engaged and were still close friends. She was also a friend to Elise. He didn’t want her to learn of his engagement through word-of-mouth, or from an invitation to the party. Sloan wasn’t in the least worried about breaking the news to her. Everything between them had been settled long before. He extracted a promise from his mother that she wouldn’t say anything to Lady Caroline Whitfield, until he’d had the chance to tell Anne. He honestly believed Anne would be happy for them. She’d certainly not hesitated to let both of them know, often enough, that she was in favour of them as a couple. He made plans to meet Anne at a quaint restaurant off the High Street, where they used to go when they were still a very close to each other. He arrived first and requested a table in the small, private alcove. He wanted to be able to speak freely, without others over-hearing their conversation. Shortly after he was seated, Anne arrived. She looked pretty, in a red dress, with white gloves and matching hat. She smiled as she sat down, telling Sloan it was wonderful to see him.

  “We haven’t seen much of each other lately. I guess we’ve both been busy. But it’s definitely time for a catch-up,” she said.

  “I agree. That’s why I rang you. So much has happened. The summer has been busy and autumn even more so. Have we seen one other since Giselle and Ted’s wedding?” Sloan asked.

  “No. I don’t think so. I went to London for a week in early September. I hadn’t been shopping for so long. It was great fun, although depressing to see what the Nazis did to that wonderful city.”

  “I know. I had the same feeling when I was there right after the war.”

  “So, tell me what you’ve been up to?” Anne asked, tilting her head to one side.

  “Well, I have very important news. Something I think you’ll be happy to hear.’

  “What? I can’t imagine. Oh, do tell me.”

  “Elise and I have set a wedding date. It all happened rather quickly, after we’d seen a lot of each other and become good friends. We went on a picnic one day and it was wonderful. We confessed our love, and the rest is history. I’m terribly happy, Anne. I wanted to tell you personally, because we’ve been so close, and you’ve been a brick about everything.”

  Anne’s face lost all colour. Her cheeks no longer matched the red in her dress. Sloan could see her hands begin to tremble.

  “Anne, what is it? You look shocked. Surely this doesn’t surprise you? I told you long ago how I felt about Elise. I’m just fortunate enough to have found out that she feels that same way about me. I thought this is what you wanted for me.”

  Anne tried to regain her composure. “Yes – yes – I knew you still had feelings about her. But she’s always given the impression that she thought the whole matter ra
ther silly. She never indicated she was in love with you.”

  “I don’t think she was certain of her feelings for quite a while. Plus, she had doubts about being from a lower socio-economic class than mine. Finally she resolved all of those issues and gave over to her feelings. Aren’t you happy for me, Anne?”

  “Oh dear, Sloan. I wish I could say yes. I’d hoped it wouldn’t come to this, to be honest with you. I really thought you’d realize, at some point, that Elise simply wasn’t right for you. I thought you’d move on. I didn’t think Elise would be foolish enough to believe a marriage to you would work.”

  “Why shouldn’t it work? We love each other. Madly. I know she’s not from the same background as you and me, but there isn’t a thing about Elise that isn’t charming and gracious. She’s a beautiful, sweet, good person.”

  “No Sloan, she isn’t. I so hate being the one to hurt you, but I can’t sit back and watch you make such a horrific mistake. I’m your friend, and friends are supposed to be honest with one another. If this were something I could simply keep quiet about, and let you go on with your life, with no fear of harm, I would. Believe me. But it isn’t that simple. There are things you don’t know.”