What She Wants

by Sheila Roberts

  “And I hope you brought your dancing shoes so you can show off your moves at the dance,” Tina finished. “That’s it for tonight. See you all tomorrow!”

  “See you at the picnic?” Jonathan asked Lissa.

  “I won’t be at the picnic, but I’ll be at the dance so don’t forget to save me one,” she said before Rand whisked her off.

  Jonathan stood, his hands clenched into fists. Why was he even trying? Damn Rand Burwell, anyway. His heart twisted as he watched Lissa smile up at Rand. New clothes, new muscle, slick words—what did it matter?

  Suddenly, Lissa did one small thing that gave him hope. She sniffed her rose and smiled at him over her shoulder. Just one smile, but it was enough to unclench his fists, to send him home whistling. To assure him that his story wasn’t over yet.

  * * *

  “You gotta go to the picnic,” Kyle said when he called Jonathan the next morning.

  Jonathan preferred to save his energy, both physical and mental, for the dance. “It’s only gonna be families.”

  “I’m going. So’s Darrell. And remember Simon Jacobs?”

  “Yeah.” Simon had been another member of the chess club. “I didn’t see him last night.” Not that he’d been looking. The only person he’d been looking for had been Lissa.

  “He didn’t get here until late last night. But he’s coming to the picnic. He’s got a wife and kid now.”

  Simon Jacobs had been even skinnier and geekier than Jonathan. And he’d had a major zit issue. And yet even he was married. Jonathan was now officially the last man from the chess club—heck, on the planet—who didn’t have anyone.

  “He’s gonna want to see you,” Kyle said.

  “Yeah, I’d like to see him, too. He’ll be at the dance, right?”

  “When I talked to him he wasn’t sure. His wife’s pregnant and about to pop.”

  “Oh. Well.” Jonathan still didn’t want to go to the picnic. “Tell him I said hi.”

  “Tell him yourself. Come on, don’t wimp out on me here. We need some chess club solidarity.”

  “You and Simon can stand solid.”

  “Don’t be such a wuss,” Kyle said in disgust.

  “I’m not a wuss,” Jonathan protested.

  “Oh, yeah, you are. You need to go to this stuff, Jon. People want to see you.”

  He’d noticed how much people wanted to see him the night before.

  “Come on, just for a while,” Kyle wheedled.

  Jonathan sighed. “Okay, okay.” He’d go, but only long enough to say hi to Simon.

  He arrived a little after noon at the Riverwalk Park with his bucket of chicken from the Safeway deli to find the picnic area packed with young families. Juan Fernandez, the senior class president, was manning the barbecue, and the aroma of sizzling burgers was heavy on the air. Women were setting out food on one of the tables, while their guys stood in groups, drinking pop and talking. Kids swarmed the nearby play area and chased one another, darting among the adults. Everyone here had someone. He was going to look like a fool wandering around with only his bucket of chicken for company.

  You’re here now, he told himself, make the best of it.

  But who to make the best of it with? That was the question. The crowd looked like it was all cheerleaders and jocks and class officers. All the shy souls had stayed home. Which was what Jonathan should have done.

  Oh, but wait. There, staking out a table at the edge of the crowd, was Kyle. And with him? It had to be Simon and his wife. Except the guy didn’t look like the Simon Jonathan remembered. Simon had missed their ten-year reunion so Jonathan hadn’t seen him in fifteen years. A guy’s appearance could change a lot in fifteen years.

  He thought of how different he looked now. Heck, a guy’s appearance could change a lot in a few months.

  He deposited his contribution to the feast on the buffet table, then started working his way to where his friends were waiting.

  Nearby, one rambunctious little boy in shorts and a red T-shirt came running out of nowhere and managed to collide with Jonathan. He ricocheted off Jonathan’s legs and landed on his backside, a shocked expression on his face.

  “You’re a pretty fast runner,” Jonathan told him, setting him back on his feet. “What’s your name?”

  “Mikey,” the child said. “I’m six.”

  Now Tina had joined them. “Mikey, say you’re sorry for running into Jonathan.”

  So this was Tina’s kid. Now that she was here, Jonathan saw the likeness. He was a good-looking kid. He’d probably grow up to become a member of the in crowd.

  “Sorry,” Mikey muttered.

  “That’s okay,” Jonathan said.

  Mikey didn’t hear him. He was already off and running again.

  Tina watched him go, smiling fondly. “That boy has no off switch.”

  But Tina did, especially when it came to fraternizing with the unimportant people. “Janelle,” she called, and hurried off to visit with a fellow cheerleader who was holding a toddler on her hip.

  Jonathan continued on his course, steering past laughing groups of mothers and their kids, and finally landed at the table with Kyle and Simon and his family.

  “Hey, you made it,” Kyle said. “This was the last table we could find,” he added.

  On the fringe, just like in high school. But so what? They’d all be on the fringe together and that was better than being alone.

  “Jon!” Simon greeted him. “Great to see you.”

  “You, too,” Jonathan said, taking in his old pal’s new and improved appearance. The zits were gone and so were the specs. “What happened to your glasses?”

  “Lasik surgery.”

  Lucky Simon. He’d shed a major geek accessory. Jonathan had to beat back the green-eyed monster threatening to sour this moment of reconnecting with an old pal. So what if you’re still wearing glasses? Glasses are cool these days.

  Except he didn’t feel cool. He had a new body, new clothes, yeah, and even new glasses, but he was still uncool. He’d proved that at the dinner the night before.

  “This is my wife, Beth,” Simon said, putting his arm around a plain-faced, very pregnant woman. “And this—” he hoisted a toddler from the picnic table bench “—is Bobby.”

  “Named after Bobby Fischer?” Jonathan surmised.

  “Why not? It’ll give him good chess karma.”

  A burst of laughter from one of the other picnic tables drew their attention. Doug Immeressen had just succeeded in slipping an ice cube down Tina’s shirt.

  Yup, stuck forever in high school, Jonathan thought, not for the first time. He studied the group. There they were, the superstars of Icicle Falls High. Were any of them superstars now? Yeah, Tina owned a shop in town, and he’d heard Doug was managing a car dealership in Yakima. He had no idea what Cam Gordon or Feron Prince were doing but he hadn’t seen Cam on TV playing in the Super Bowl. So what made them any better than a guy who owned his own computer repair company?

  “Okay, everyone, food’s ready,” Tina announced. “Bring your plates and get your Grizzly grub.”

  Jonathan noticed that old Doug was first in line. Doug had been a fullback, first string, and he’d probably dated half the girls in the school. He’d been known for both his monster size and the appetite that matched it. Now filling his plate took higher priority than flirting with Tina or paying attention to her little boy.

  Did Jonathan want to be like the Doug Immeressens of the world? No, thanks. The guy might have been something back in high school, but today, like Jonathan, he was a guy alone floating in a sea of families. Old Doug was nothing to be jealous of.

  “So, how’s it been going?” Simon asked. He checked out Jonathan’s hip jeans and shirt and the casual flip-flops. “Kyle says you’ve got your own company. And you built your own house,” Simon continued. “Looks like life’s agreeing with you.” His voice was channeling the green-eyed monster’s bro.

  Jonathan nodded. Weird, he thought. What did he have to be
jealous about?

  “Your business must be doing well.”

  “It’s okay,” Jonathan said with a shrug. He was making a living but he wasn’t exactly getting rich.

  “There’s more to life than money,” his dad used to say. “Find yourself a good woman and you’ll be the richest man in the world.”

  He’d found the woman, but so far he was still locked outside Fort Knox.

  “Let’s get some food before it’s all gone,” Kyle suggested, grabbing a paper plate.

  The food line was long, and once the first string had gone through, the pickings were slim, but Jonathan scored some pasta salad and the last burger on the barbecue.

  “Jonathan, you’re just in time,” Juan told him.

  Juan, too, had moved in the top circles in high school, but he’d always been an okay guy, happy to be friends with everyone. Even now, Jonathan was impressed that Juan remembered his name. Of course, Juan was running for representative for the fourth congressional district. As a politician, it was his business to remember names.

  “Great to see you,” he added, and even though he was a politician, Jonathan suspected he meant it.

  “As usual, the jocks got all the good stuff,” Kyle grumbled.

  “You’re the one who wanted to come,” Jonathan reminded him as they walked back to their table.

  One of Jonathan’s band buddies showed up with his wife and their twin boys and Jonathan’s party squeezed together, making room for them at the table. Visiting with another old pal, Jonathan decided it had been worth his time to come to the picnic. He kept the kids laughing by making funny faces and demonstrated his talent for hanging a spoon on his nose. Very uncool but the kids loved it.

  Once they’d finished eating, the twins ran off to play. Jonathan noticed that his pal kept a watchful eye on them.

  Which was more than he could say for some of the other parents. Many of them were too busy yukking it up and remembering the good old days to pay attention to what their offspring were up to. Like Tina, who was in a giggling huddle with the other cheerleaders.

  Meanwhile, Mikey ran in ever-widening circles, chasing the bigger kids. He’d probably grow up to be a distance runner. Tina was right; little Mikey didn’t have an off switch.

  But Simon’s two-year-old did. “I think we need to get back to your mom’s for a nap,” his wife said.

  “You guys coming to the dance tonight?” Kyle asked.

  “That depends on whether or not I get my nap,” Beth said.

  Simon gave her bulging belly a pat. “She’s sleeping for two.”

  And Simon was proud of it. A wife, a son and another kid on the way. Once again the green-eyed monster had to be slain.

  “I guess there’s no point in hanging out here much longer,” Kyle said, watching them go. “I wish I’d brought Mindy.”

  And Jonathan wished Lissa had been there. He hoped she was doing something with her mom and wasn’t out somewhere with Rand, who was also M.I.A. He scanned the crowd. There was no one here he wanted to hang with. No baby pictures he needed to comment on.

  As his gaze roamed the herd of picnickers, he realized someone was missing from the picture. Little Mikey. Where was the kid? Not with his mom, who was busy flirting with Doug.

  Jonathan suddenly got a sick feeling in his gut as he looked toward the river and caught sight of a small figure in shorts and a red T-shirt through the foliage at the river’s edge.

  “Shit!” He took off running.

  “What?” Kyle called after him, but he didn’t reply.

  He was vaguely aware of Tina’s voice, casually calling, “Mikey.”

  This particular stretch of the Wenatchee River was no lazy river. Its current would be too much for a small boy with a yen to go swimming.

  Now Tina was calling her son, her voice laced with panic. “Mikey? Mikey!”

  Jonathan kept on running. He got to the riverbank in time to find the boy in the process of removing his second shoe.

  “Hey, Mikey,” Jonathan said, keeping his voice relaxed. “Whatcha doin’?”

  “I want to swim in the river,” Mikey said, and pulled off his sock.

  “That sounds like fun, but let’s go check with your mom first. I’ll give you a horseback ride.”

  Mikey shook his head and stood, clearly more interested in a swim.

  Jonathan moved to position himself between the boy and the river. “You ever ride a bucking bronco?”

  “What’s that?”

  “It’s a big old horse like the cowboys ride in the rodeo. It’s a real fun ride.” Jonathan squatted down in front of him. “Hop on. I’ll show you.”

  The river was abandoned in favor of the bucking bronco and Mikey climbed onto Jonathan’s back, arms clasping his neck. Jonathan breathed a sigh of relief. A chorus of people calling for Mikey drifted to where they stood by the water. By the time anyone had thought to look here, it would have been too late.

  He scooped up Mikey’s shoes and socks and straightened. “Okay, are you ready?”

  “Yep.”

  Jonathan managed a tolerable neigh and did a couple of jumps, bouncing the little boy and making him laugh. “Now we’re gonna ride on over to your mom. Hang on.” He started loping, throwing in a jump or two and producing more laughs.

  They’d only gone a few feet when Doug thundered through the huckleberry bushes, catching Jonathan in midjump. “What the hell?”

  “He was about to try to swim in the river,” Jonathan said.

  “Holy shit. Come here, kid,” Doug snapped, and pulled Mikey off Jonathan’s back. Then he plucked the shoes out of Jonathan’s hand. “Jeez, kid, don’t you know any better than to go near the river?”

  Doug’s sharp tone was enough to make Mikey cry, but Doug didn’t waste time comforting him. Instead, he strode off, forgetting—or maybe not bothering—to say anything to Jonathan.

  “All in a day’s work,” Jonathan muttered, following behind. Doug would come back a hero. Doug would probably get laid tonight. “You’re welcome. Glad to help.”

  Now Kyle came running up to Jonathan. He’d passed Doug on the way, but Doug hadn’t said anything to him.

  “Did you just do what I think you did?” Kyle asked, falling in step with Jonathan.

  “Yep. Another future jock saved.”

  “To grow up and torture some helpless nerd in high school,” Kyle added. “Look at that,” he said as they approached the picnic area.

  Jonathan could see. He didn’t need it pointed out to him that Tina was now hugging her son and looking gratefully at Doug as if he were a hero straight out of a Vanessa Valentine novel.

  Kyle clapped Jonathan on the back. “We know who the real hero is.”

  “Yeah, the Invisible Man.”

  “You won’t be invisible on the dance floor tonight.”

  Damn straight he wouldn’t. He had some moves to show off.

  * * *

  Jonathan could hear the music from two blocks down as he walked over to Festival Hall from where he’d parked. The dance was in full swing. He entered as the DJ started spinning “Raise the Roof” to see a mob of dancers partying under a ceiling hung with balloons and red and gold crepe paper streamers.

  There were Simon and his wife, dancing at the edge of the crowd. She looked like she’d swallowed one of those balloons. Simon was grinning down at her. Watching her smile up at him, Jonathan realized she wasn’t so plain, after all. Beth was actually pretty cute.

  Maybe love did that to people. If so, it was the world’s best beauty treatment.

  Jonathan forced himself farther into the room, although he found it difficult to move into the fray when he was so obviously alone. He knew other people were alone, too—but they were confident they wouldn’t leave alone. He wished he had that confidence. He wished he was a stronger, take-charge kind of guy. How did a man get the confidence it took to swagger into a room? Maybe he should have read fewer romance novels and watched more action movies.

  Cut it out, he to
ld himself. Grow a pair.

  His tough self-talk only served to make his heart race. What would a romance hero do?

  He wouldn’t give up; that much Jonathan knew for sure. Any hero worth his salt had to fight for the woman he wanted. Heroes didn’t give up.

  He saw Kyle and Mindy off to one side of the dancing crowd, shaking it. Kyle looked like a man who’d won the World Poker Tournament. Who could blame him? He’d found a woman who thought he was fabulous.

  Jonathan wanted that happy ending, too. Now’s the night to make it happen. You can do it. Stand tall, look cool.

  He scanned the room for a glimpse of Lissa but didn’t see her. He started walking along the edge of the crowd. That reminded him of his nightmare and made him sweat. Crap. The evening had barely begun and already his confidence was sinking into the toilet. He worked his way to the bar and grabbed a bottled water. Remember, these people are nothing special.

  The song ended and the DJ went into another fast number. Jonathan tried to look nonchalant, as if standing by himself was something he’d chosen to do.

  “Hi, Jonathan,” a quiet voice said at his side. “Remember me?”

  He turned and saw a short, slender woman with a heart-shaped face and short, dark hair. Amanda Adams. She’d been in band with him. “Sure,” he said. “How are you?”

  “Good.” Amanda had never been much of a talker.

  Jonathan had never been much of a talker, either, and his clever one-liners would only take him so far. He conjured up a nervous smile.

  She gave him an equally nervous one in return.

  “Uh, would you like to dance?”

  She looked at him gratefully. “Okay.”

  This wasn’t how he’d envisioned making his dancing debut. But Lissa was nowhere to be seen and Amanda clearly wasn’t having any more fun standing on the sidelines than he was, so what the heck. He’d envisioned holding out his hand to Lissa, just like the hero had in the book he’d read. Instead, here he was taking Amanda’s hand, which was a little on the clammy side.