Between Faith and Fear

by J. A. Dennam

  Derek blinked as if he’d been hit with a cast iron pan. Daddy. Jeez, it sounded so... real coming from her like that. He swallowed, wiped a thumb across her cheeks. “I don’t remember you being so prone to waterworks before.”

  “I mean it, Derek. You don’t look right. Your eyes are getting all wild again. I just watched you kill two men, something that completely blew my mind. But if that’s what it takes to stay alive, I want you to murder every one of those assholes.”

  His head reared back. “Language, Cahill.”

  Danny pursed her lips while they studied each other. Then she tsked loudly. “Mom’s gonna be cutting your food for a week. You know that, right?”

  Chapter 14

  When Melanie came to, it was with the same sluggish confusion as before, when Derek had drugged her. But this time she awoke to a much different surrounding than her dark, moldy classroom. Her eyes opened nearly level to a thick white layer of fine bubbles. Just as her nose began to submerge, she popped up and blew out the trickle of liquid that invaded her nostrils.

  Water sloshed over the sides of an oblong tub. Melanie sat up, looked around and squeegeed the last remnants of it from her nose. She was dead center in the middle of a brightly lit tiled room, soaking in a heavenly bath, completely naked.

  Again.

  A candle burned on the vanity, lending a diminutive ambiance to an otherwise sterile environment. The door to the right of it was slightly ajar. She looked down, noticed her full, sudsy breasts were in plain view and slinked down below the bubbles in a panic. Where the hell was she now?

  Oh, yeah. The memory of a dark, cloaked figure descending down upon her from nowhere made her flinch all over again. But she hadn’t been drugged until she’d been effectively dragged into an awaiting vehicle.

  Chewie. The dog had barked out a warning, but not until it was too late. The doors had closed her in and they were on the move. The last thing she remembered was the distant familiar roar of Derek’s car. Could it be he’d caught up to them and rescued her? Was she on friendly ground? It certainly didn’t feel like enemy territory.

  A man appeared in the doorway, nonchalantly set an armful of bottles beside the burning candle. Melanie instantly covered her breasts under the water despite the opacity of the bubbles.

  His sleeves were rolled up past the elbows, revealing fur-covered, muscular forearms. Light colored slacks were dotted with moisture. When he turned to her, caught her wide-eyed look of surprise, his attractive face relaxed into an enigmatic smile. He was a little older, perhaps in his late forties with short, salt and pepper hair. Laugh lines framed pretty-boy eyes the color of brandy.

  When he opened his mouth, his words were delivered in a deep, attractive voice. “Good. You’re awake.”

  She slinked further beneath the bubbles, her heart roaring in her ears.

  The man chuckled and pulled up the small wooden stool close by. “You don’t need to be afraid of me.” He sat down, leaned elbows against knees as he regarded her. “I’m just going to help you wash your hair.”

  Her skin tingled the way it would after a good scrubbing. “I think you’ve already done enough.” Holy hell, was that her voice?

  Amusement deepened the lines around generous, curved lips. “And it was my pleasure.” He moved again, retrieved a cup from the floor by his feet. “You’re a very beautiful woman, Melanie. Your body shows almost no signs of your previous pregnancy. Was it cocoa butter?”

  It became abundantly clear the man knew way too much about her. As she processed this, the cup dipped beside her head. She backed away, but there was nowhere to go. Warm, scented water flowed over her scalp.

  His gaze flitted upward. “I’m just curious. Vitamin E?”

  “Please stop doing that,” she sputtered angrily, unwilling to free her hands to wipe the water from her eyes.

  The full cup hovered for a scant moment then he emptied it slowly, carefully over her hair once more. “You were filthy. I thought you’d appreciate a hot bath.”

  Her anger became palpable. “A gentleman would wait until I was capable of doing it myself.”

  “Ah.” He chuckled. “Don’t let the shoes fool you. I am definitely no gentleman.”

  Clenching her breasts tightly beneath one arm, she finally lifted a hand and cleared her eyes. “I wasn’t confused.”

  Her scathing words had no effect on him as he filled his palm with a lavender gel. “Come on. Up.”

  “No!”

  “Miss Parker, I’ve already seen everything you have. Don’t think for a second I won’t sample it if you step out of line.”

  Oh, my God. Suddenly she knew. “You’re the sadistic freak,” she breathed, partly to herself. And then the weight of his words finally hit home. Her mouth clamped shut and she slowly lifted, arms tightly crossed over her chest.

  “Is that what he called me?” The man was entirely too casual as his hands massaged the gel deep into her hair.

  “Not in so many words,” she answered, closing her eyes with revulsion. “He called you his handler.”

  “You can call me Rafferty. Yes, I am his handler. And when he returns, he’ll be handled.”

  “What if he doesn’t?”

  A small smile. “I happen to know he values you way too much not to.”

  “Not as much as you think. We were never exclusive. He didn’t commit to anyone.”

  His nose grazed her ear. Only then did she realize he was smelling her. “You shouldn’t try to convince me you aren’t worth keeping alive.”

  A tremor ran through her and he touched his lips to the base of her neck. “Tell me, Melanie.”

  It was a bare whisper that stilled her heart.

  “Are you worth it?”

  His hand slapped against her forehead and he pushed her backwards. Suddenly she was fully submerged beneath the bath water, fighting to rise above it. It happened so fast she’d had no chance to take a breath first. As she flailed, pounded and pried at his restraining hand, her lungs began to burn. No! He was drowning her. Killing her. Right now. Just as Derek had feared.

  When her body demanded it, her lungs expanded and she inhaled some water the very moment he released her. She sprang up coughing and sputtering, struggling for oxygen. Her eyes stung from the soap and she dug at them with her palms as she coughed the air back into her aching lungs.

  “I have to say, you have the most remarkable tits. Always wondered what they looked like beneath the tank top and,” a lecherous laugh, “you do not disappoint.”

  Melanie hugged her knees tighter to her chest as she wheezed and coughed some more. “I thought you said... I didn’t need... to be afraid of you.”

  The man got to his feet and retrieved a towel. “That’s because I’m not the one who’s going to kill you.”

  Her head tilted so she could glare at him through reddened eyes.

  “Your boyfriend gets the honor.” And he spread the towel out, waiting for her. “As punishment for betraying Miss Hellberg.”

  The glare melted away and was replaced with unequivocal shock. “What did you say?”

  Rafferty winced slightly. “Oops. Too much, I’m afraid. I don’t think she’d like me giving away secrets. Bennett doesn’t know her plans for him yet.”

  Oh, my God! Rena had been playing them the whole time. Somehow, some way, she had gained Derek’s trust. Had manipulated him into breaking her out of prison. She was one of them. And very much an important figurehead if the respect this man had just portrayed for her was any indication.

  They were all doomed from the very beginning. The abject fear and misery must have been heavily broadcast in the slump of her shoulders because the man nodded sympathetically.

  “You might as well get out,” he said evenly. “I can be very persuasive when I need to be.”

  Since he wasn’t coming closer with the towel, Melanie assumed she was to come to him and she had no desire to “test” the water again.

  “What are you going to do with us?” she asked in a s
mall voice, covering herself as best she could as she rose to a stand and stepped out of the tub.

  Rafferty’s gaze moved from the top of her freshly washed hair to the tip of her toes. “For starters, you and I are going to get better acquainted.”

  Based on Derek’s description of the man, she’d already assumed as much. “And Derek?”

  His breath was hot on her neck as he folded the towel around her from behind. “Our troublesome ghost will be reminded why he has no normal place in society. That when the shackles come off, he’s not only a danger to himself, but to those he holds most dear.” And she was led from the bathroom to a strange sort of sterilized environment.

  “You’re going to make him withdraw again,” she deduced with a shiver.

  “Judging by the bruises on your body, he’s already begun. Actually, I’m a bit surprised he’s held on this long.”

  There was a metal table and two chairs in the middle of an otherwise bare room. One wall was clear glass and she could see an exam room beyond it with rolling medical carts, surgery lighting, and exam table complete with restraints. It was all well lit, colorless, in clear view of an observation room toward the right, which was also visible to her through the glass.

  Melanie swallowed. Was all of this for her?

  Rafferty read her mind. “Your front row seat. And his.” He indicated the two covered trays at the table. “But first, you’ll eat.”

  Over her dead body.

  Something buzzed. Another towel covered her head, was left there while Rafferty checked his phone. Melanie woodenly dried her hair, closed the distance to the table. Whatever was beneath those stainless covers smelled heavenly, but she’d be damned if she’d trust a single bite. Her stomach growled loudly and she was reminded that she hadn’t eaten anything since dinner. Had refused out of the same mistrust she experienced now.

  “Ah! That was fast!”

  Her eyes closed and she sank to the chair. “He’s here?”

  “And very irritable. I’m... disappointed.”

  She lifted the lid, peeked beneath it. Reuben sandwich. Blech. Since when did one of those ever smell good? “Guess we won’t be getting acquainted,” she murmured, replacing the lid.

  “Oh, I don’t know. This compels me to make you an offer.”

  Two people in scrubs entered the exam room beyond the glass.

  “Here, put this on.” He threw a ridiculously short robe at her. Thin satin, the same blue shade as the tank top she had worn in the picture. “I always loved the color on you.”

  The towel covered more. More lights came on and another man entered the exam room with clipboard in hand. When Rafferty pulled the towel from her hair, she knew the one around her body was next and she grabbed for it. It became a tug of war that lit something dangerous in his eyes.

  “We could have fun, you and me.”

  It was all games to him. And when she lost, she frantically struggled with the satin robe to find the sleeves and cover her nakedness. Rafferty’s hands were on her again, caressing her shoulders while she tied the sash around her waist. There was shouting. Something crashed in a far off place.

  “I don’t bite, Miss Parker,” he crooned. “Not like your beloved Derek will when he reaches his peak.”

  The commotion was getting louder and the technicians in the other room were moving faster, prepping the lighting, breaking open packages of sterilized instruments to line metal trays. Her pulse picked up in speed.

  “I imagine his anxiety level is close to spiking if it hasn’t already. Actually,” the man checked the time on the mounted clock behind them, “he’s probably experiencing some high-level pain by now.”

  Melanie’s eyes flitted to the clock. Almost two in the afternoon. “Pain?”

  “All over joint and muscle pain. Back pain. Headaches. Something I like to call Hard Ball.”

  “Hard Ball.”

  “It’s another side effect that kept Nexifen off the shelves. Severe epididymal hypertension with minimal stimulation. When ejaculate is withheld, fluids build in the testicles and prostate causing unbearable discomfort.” When she looked back at him, she caught his flash of disquiet before it was gone. “Blue balls times-ten with a side of high anxiety. That alone can be a deadly combination, especially if fostered under the right hands.”

  Was that supposed to be a joke? “So, you’re going to dangle me in front of him like Fay Wray?”

  “That is a very clever analogy, Miss Parker. But even King Kong had limitations.”

  “He won’t hurt me,” she repeated meekly, turning away from him. “He’s not like you.”

  The door to the exam room exploded with activity. It took five heavyweights to carry him in, deposit him onto the table and strap him down. When the bodies parted, Derek was finally in full view, bare chested, heaving, struggling against his bonds with suppressed sounds of agony.

  Melanie ran toward the glass and flattened her hands against it as she watched him suffer. He was flat on his back, completely soaked in sweat, unable to see her.

  “I’m going to give you a choice, Melanie,” Rafferty said behind her. “You can either sleep with me, or die with him.”

  “He won’t kill me,” she said, tears flowing down her cheeks.

  “Something you fail to grasp is that by the time he’s released from that table, he’ll no longer be himself.”

  “I’d rather take my chances than let you touch me.”

  “I’ll at least make you cum before you die.”

  “Shut up!”

  “And you’ll save him from the guilt of killing you himself.”

  Derek raised his head and looked directly at her. Angry veins channeled all over his body as he dealt with his pain. Melanie realized he could hear every word they were saying. Rafferty was taunting him, not her.

  A woman in scrubs came at Derek with a wet cotton swab and tended to the bleeding wound just below his left pectoral. It appeared to have been stitched up recently.

  “I love you, Derek,” she said, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “No matter what happens.”

  His brows drew down thunderously. “I love you, too,” he answered with the fierce voice of one possessed.

  Chapter 15

  Everything stopped as Melanie soaked in the words. Had she just heard right? Did Derek Bennett... the Derek Bennett just say the L-word?

  Something inside her burst with joy for all of two seconds. Then reality seeped in. He must really think this was his last chance to say it. The thought scared her more than anything Rafferty could have possibly thrown at her.

  As they stared at each other, Melanie recognized the look in his eyes for what it was. Genuine fear.

  A woman entered the observation room and spoke with a man behind the window. When he heard her voice, Derek’s attention was jerked away, his eyes wildly searching. He recognized her. Knew her.

  When she rounded the divider and entered the examination room, he followed her every move. So did Melanie. She was attractive; an unassuming brunette who stood medium height with the help of stilted heels. The white coat was plain and the clip-on badge touted a photo ID and barcode. The strict bun may have given her an instant brow lift, but failed to hide the lines of age around her mouth and jawline. Mid-fifties?

  With the help of reading glasses, deep blue eyes scanned the pages of a clipboard. “You have been a bad boy, Mr. Bennett,” she said distractedly. “I imagine you’re not doing so well.”

  “I’m here now.” His voice rumbled out of him as his breathing became even more erratic. “Make him let her go.”

  That’s when the woman seemed to notice Melanie for the first time. She lowered the clipboard and peered at her over the glasses. “Wow,” she said with a look. “Is this her?”

  Rafferty stepped up to the glass. “It is.”

  The woman’s heels clicked against the polished floor as she moved to stand directly in front of her. “She already has bruises.”

  “Mainly on her upper torso.”r />
  “Let me see.”

  What! Melanie backed away, but Rafferty grabbed her, clamped her arms behind her back as his free hand worked the sash loose. There she was again, struggling against him as her boobs were bared to the world. Derek roared with anger.

  “Jesus!” she railed, “You people are out of your mind!”

  “Noooo,” the woman crooned as her pen scribbled on paper. “We try to help those who are.” After a few more notes, she lowered the clipboard and smiled. “And we’re very successful at it, by the way.”

  Rafferty loosened his hold and Melanie angrily covered her nakedness. “Is that why you can’t get anything approved by the FDA?”

  The smile faded. Slowly, the woman turned around and stalked back toward the exam table. “What else have you told her?”

  “That you’re a lying cunt,” Derek fumed, nostrils flaring.

  But he hadn’t. In fact, he hadn’t mentioned anything about a woman, but they obviously shared a history.

  Instead of showing insult, the woman slowly blinked, cocked a smile. Her hand came out and she motioned for one of the attendants. “You always did have a way with words, darling.”

  Darling?

  “Don’t,” he hissed, eyes widening as the man fastened a tourniquet around his bicep. “Don’t! Get that fucking thing away from me!”

  “Derek!” Melanie screamed, pounding on the glass as a clear liquid was injected into his bloodstream. The sound he made as he jerked and strained against the needle would reverberate through her soul for all her remaining years. “Leave him alone! Stop!”

  “Shhhh.” Rafferty nudged her and leaned in close to whisper. “Don’t make me gag you.”

  When it was over, Derek was reduced to a quaking mess. It was then that Rena entered the exam room. Two men with hoods flanked her and she didn’t look pleased with the escort. Melanie’s vision hazed over with loathing.

  “You lying! Manipulative! Bitch!” she yelled, pounding her fist against the glass with each word. “He trusted you! He tried to help you!”

  Rena glanced nervously in her direction before her eyes settled on Derek. Her tongue darted out, moistened dry lips. “I don’t see the point in all this,” she said to the woman in the lab coat. “Everything went according to plan.”