Knowledge Revealed

by D. S. Williams

  “I haven't run away yet,” I responded quietly. I brushed my fingers across his cheek and he caught them, pressing them to his lips for a kiss.

  He drew a ragged breath and began to speak, his voice low. “The thirst for blood is as natural to us as your desire to eat and drink. Imagine you are in a desert and have walked for miles and miles, with no sign of water, nothing available to quench your thirst. The sun is beating down on you from above, and your throat is dry, so parched that it burns with the need for water.”

  I nodded, my eyes remaining on his to try to prove he wasn't frightening me.

  “A vampire's need for blood is similar in many ways, only much, much worse. The urge for blood when we need to feed, it causes a burning sensation in the throat that is like being caught in the flames of hell. The yearning is irresistible; the only thing in a vampire's mind in those circumstances is the hunt for blood. Nothing can dissuade us from the goal.”

  “And… that's how you feel when you're with me?” I asked cautiously.

  Lucas nodded slightly and a smile played around his lips. “That's one of the feelings I am dealing with when I am around you. For the most part, it's the worst to control.”

  “But when you've been out and fed, it's okay then, isn't it?”

  The shake of his head was infinitesimal, as if he didn't want to admit to what he was thinking. “In normal circumstances, with anyone else, yes, the need for blood, the thirst is easily controlled. With you, however…” he shrugged and shook his head. “The thirst remains almost insatiable, all the time.”

  “Why?”

  Lucas traced a path along my arm with his fingers. “I have no idea. Something about you, your blood, is so powerful it makes me crave constantly.” He sighed, laying back against the bed and staring at the ceiling. “When I first met you, all I wanted to do was bite you, taste your blood, drain your body of every last drop. It was insatiable, completely overwhelming. I could think of nothing else for weeks.”

  I thought about this for a minute or two and Lucas remained silent, letting me reflect in peace. “How close did you come? To killing me?”

  Lucas squeezed his eyes shut and torment flitted across his face. “Very close. The first time I met you, I considered telling people I would take you to hospital and instead spiriting you away to feast on your blood. The craving – it was… almost impossible to control. Then I found myself visiting you in the hospital, even though I knew it was a mistake, masochism at its very worst. Yet I couldn't stay away. I had to see you again, even while I was thinking of a hundred different ways in which I could draw you in, use my skills to capture you, taste your blood. I was constantly out of my mind.” He smiled ruefully at the memory. “After that, I tried to avoid you, knowing it was the best thing for you. But then I discovered your scent in the forest and took to following you each day. I couldn't stay away, couldn't stop myself.”

  I tried to lighten his mood. “So I guess you became a stalker?”

  “You could say that,” Lucas smirked. “As the days passed, although my desire was as strong as ever, you began to intrigue me. I wanted to know more about you, why you were always so sad. What caused your beautiful green eyes to be shadowed in perpetual pain? It came as quite a shock to realize I was falling in love with you.” He leaned forward and kissed my lips fleetingly. “It wasn't until I rescued you at the falls, the day I took you to my home that I began to wonder if it was possible to control. If I could savor the wine, without drinking.”

  “But you went back to avoiding me again,” I pointed out.

  “Yes, I did. After I offered to drive you home. Until then I had been affected by your scent, but harbored hopes that I could control it. But having you in the car with me – it was sheer hell. Your scent was everywhere; I couldn't avoid it and couldn't escape it. In a ten-minute drive to your cottage, I realized that as much as I loved you, I couldn't stop myself from hurting you. The thought was too much to bear, caused me agony. I stopped following you from that day onwards, refusing to go into the woods. I went to Europe to visit friends, hoping that being away from you would erase you from my mind.”

  “It didn't work out?” I guessed aloud.

  “God, no. It didn't work out. Every moment was still filled with you, every thought, and every minute of the day. It was a complete obsession – I decided to come back, and face up to it, try and find some way of working through it so I could be around you. The day I saw you in the grocery store – I'd only arrived back in Puckhaber that day. Having been away from your scent – and then to immediately meet it head on – it was unbearable. I wanted to kill you there and then. There were only a few people in the store, I could simply kill them and nobody would be any the wiser.”

  A shiver of apprehension ran up my spine and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up at his confession.

  “I knew I would frighten you,” Lucas groaned.

  “Not so much for me,” I responded quickly, considering the thoughts churning through my mind. “I feel bad for the other people who were in the store. I still don't believe you would really harm me.”

  Lucas stared, shaking his head slowly. “You know, I think you really could be crazy.”

  I grinned, combing my fingers through his dark hair. “Probably. What happened, why did you change your mind?”

  “I spent hours talking with Ben, trying to find a solution.” He screwed up his nose. “Striker and Ripley both suggested I kill you and get it over with, put myself out of my misery.”

  “Remind me to slap them, when I see them in the morning.”

  “I wouldn't recommend it. You'll only break the other arm.” We shared a smile and I rolled my eyes.

  “What made you decide to see me again?” I yawned heavily.

  “Up until the day you were attacked, I still hadn't made a decision. Ben was supportive, but he knew what I wanted was practically impossible, particularly given my reaction to you every time I saw you. I was torn between my conscience and my desire. Then Marianne had the vision of what was happening to you and when I got there and saw what Ambrose was—” Lucas held his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. “I knew then I could never allow anything to hurt you. The love I felt for you was the most important thing in my existence and I knew I would do everything in my power to keep you safe.” He looked up at me and the depth of his love was clear in his eyes. “I knew then I would not be the one to hurt you, not if I could possibly help it. I couldn't bear to stop myself from seeing you any longer and although my thirst for you was all-consuming, my love for you was just as strong.” He kissed my cheek tenderly. “So here we are. The vampire and his little baby bird.”

  I smiled sleepily and Lucas caught me in his arms, settling my head against his chest once again. “Sleep, my Charlotte. Sleep and have sweet dreams. I will be here when you wake up.”

  Chapter 19: Options

  I wasn't sure how long I'd slept, but when I woke, it was dark outside and moonlight shone through the open window. I raised my head and smiled at Lucas, finding him lying with one hand behind his head, looking relaxed and comfortable.

  “I would say good morning, but it's almost midnight,” he commented mildly.

  I rolled onto my back, stretching lazily. “It's a beautiful night.”

  Lucas glanced towards the window. “A full moon.” He turned onto his side and captured me in his arms, his face inches away from mine. “And not nearly as beautiful as you.” He captured my lips against his and kissed me with more insistence than he normally allowed himself. I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck and holding him against me. My heartbeat sped up; blood pumping more quickly through my veins and all too soon, Lucas was gently extricating himself from me. I was breathing raggedly and Lucas dropped his head to my chest, listening to the pounding of my heart. “That is such a wonderful sound,” he whispered softly. “And you are so wonderfully warm.” He straightened up with a sigh. “I wish I could keep kissing you, without it
becoming dangerous.”

  “I wish you could too,” I admitted shyly.

  “Perhaps with time,” Lucas mused. “It is getting easier.”

  I pressed a fleeting kiss against his lips. “In the meantime, we need to keep trying. So it keeps getting easier.”

  He grinned, and delight filled his blue eyes. “I think it's time to feed the human. Rowena is preparing something for you; she looked in about fifteen minutes ago to see if you were close to waking.”

  I rolled over and pulled the quilt from my legs, dragging myself out of bed. “Sounds great. I'm starved.”

  “Now why doesn't that surprise me?” Lucas questioned wryly. He appeared at my side, holding my dressing gown and I found myself captivated again by his bare chest. I took the dressing gown and reluctantly dragged my eyes away from his physique. Lucas crouched down beside me. “I think I will go take a shower and get some fresh clothes. The way you look at me without my shirt on, is positively indecent.”

  I blushed furiously and Lucas laughed aloud, leaning forward to kiss me. “I love you. I'll see you downstairs.”

  He slipped through the door and I stood up, pulling on the dressing gown and limping slowly down the hall towards the bathroom. Freshening up a little, I brushed my teeth thoroughly and then dragged the brush through my hair with a frustrated scowl. It looked a mess and I pulled it into a ponytail in desperation.

  Padding silently down the hall, my one bare foot and the plaster cast made little impact on the plush carpet. Reaching the head of the stairs, I heard raised voices and paused, uncertain if I should go downstairs, or allow the conversation I heard to continue in privacy. I heard my name mentioned and gripped the banister tightly, unwilling to go downstairs after I heard Gwynn's voice, her anger apparent.

  “Why can't we vote on whether she gets to keep living here? Doesn't my opinion mean anything?”

  “Be reasonable, Gwynn. I think it's clear how we would vote, if we took that step.” Ben responded to her fury, his voice soothing. “Rowena and I both want to offer Charlotte the opportunity to remain with us if she desires. She has no-one else.”

  “So? How is that my problem? She's human; she doesn't belong in a Kiss! What happens if one of us loses control and she's killed? How will Lucas explain that to her friends in Puckhaber?”

  “You know we are taking all precautions, just as we do to allow Katie to visit with us. There are inherent risks, but we can deal with them,” Acenith said.

  “Katie is a different situation! She's related to William! Charlotte is nothing to us, nothing at all!” Gwynn's fury was startling, her animosity towards me palpable. “Ben, you and Rowena can't just adopt her, like some little Orphan Annie you found on a street corner!”

  “Aww, Gwynn, don't be like that,” Striker pleaded in his rumbling voice. “Charlotte's a good kid; we've all gotten to like her. Why can't she stay here with us?”

  “It's dangerous, that's why!” Gwynn spat furiously. “She only has to slip up and tell someone, and our existence is threatened! We'll have to run again.”

  “We're leaving here after the wedding, in any case. You know that's the plan, so don't use that as your argument,” Acenith announced caustically. “You are being melodramatic, Gwynn.”

  “I am not being melodramatic, Acenith! She poses a very real danger to every one of us. To what end this insanity continues, I don't know! You know as well as I do, what Lucas is attempting with her is completely impossible. He can't possibly think this relationship can continue, when he can't even fuck her without killing her!”

  “Gwynn, that's a terrible thing to say,” Marianne protested.

  “Oh shut up, Marianne. You know it's true. And why is everyone standing up for poor little Charlotte? Why is what she wants, more important than what I want?”

  “Sometimes what you want isn't the most important thing in the world, Gwynn,” Ripley said, his tone mocking. “I wish you would remember that.”

  “Ripley, you were the one who didn't trust her in the first place! Are you honestly suggesting you want her to stay here? When she could betray us at any moment?”

  There was a moment of silence, the air charged with tension. “I admit, I do have my doubts about her, I worry that if things between her and Lucas don't work out, she could betray us.”

  “You see? She shouldn't stay here!”

  “Gwynn, that's enough!” Rowena's soft voice held a tone of determination I'd never heard before. “You've made your point. But we have gotten to know Charlotte and she's made Lucas happier than I have ever seen him. We have to consider his feelings.”

  “Why? He knows this is a fool's errand!”

  Ben's voice was terse when he responded. “Lucas is like a brother to me, Gwynn, and I respect and love him. He gave us somewhere to live, every one of us, when we broke away from other groups because of our desire to live a better life. He has provided protection for us from those same groups, who treated us with derision for choosing this lifestyle. He has provided safe harbor to you and to all of us. You would do well to remember the kindness and loyalty he has offered to both you and William in the past.”

  “I love Charlotte,” Marianne added quietly. “I want her to stay.”

  “Of course you do, Marianne. You can't live with the idea of not making another friend,” Gwynn retorted mockingly. “The facts of the matter remain – we wouldn't have been placed in a dangerous situation last night, if it hadn't been for her. Ambrose's Kiss would not have come, if she hadn't been here. There would have been no need for them to seek revenge, if Lucas hadn't killed Ambrose.”

  “Ambrose deserved to die. His kind is despicable,” William announced, his voice husky. “I have killed many humans, but I've never treated any one of them with the lack of respect he showed to Charlotte.”

  I trembled, remember the attack Ambrose had perpetrated against me, how close he'd come to rape.

  “But you still killed them, didn't you?” Gwynn argued. “Out of all of us, William, I would think you'd understand where I'm coming from! Your control hovers on a hair trigger. Who's to say you won't lose that control, with a human living here all the time?”

  “Gwynn,” Striker's voice carried a note of warning in that one word, but Gwynn sailed on regardless.

  I don't understand why you all seem to adore her! She's nothing but a human, food on the hoof. Yet you all seem to have fallen over yourselves to become her friends, to worship her as if she's something special! She isn't, she's just a human girl who shouldn't be living here with us! What happens if the Council learns about her? Has anyone considered that?”

  “Gwynn, that is absolutely enough,” Ben growled. “You've argued your point adequately. The chances of the Council finding out about Charlotte are minimal, we have little or no contact with them, and they have no reason to investigate what our small Kiss does here in Montana. I consider Lucas family, he has made this choice and I accept it without any reservations – and so should you. He is family and he loves Charlotte. As far as Rowena and I are concerned, Charlotte is family now. We look after what belongs to us and you know that.”

  There was an extended silence before Gwynn spoke again, her voice was flat and all the fight had been removed from her words. “Fine. If you want her to live here, I guess I have to accept it, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. William and I will be leaving after the wedding. We will find another Kiss to join.”

  “Hang on, Gwynn,” William sounded annoyed, the first time I'd heard him sound anything but calm.

  “No, William. I don't want this and I won't stay here with her. You either come with me… or I will leave alone.”

  Squeezing my eyes shut, I fervently wished I hadn't eavesdropped. My hand was shaking violently on the banister and what I'd overheard confirmed what I'd known all along – Gwynn resented me staying here. More than that, she hated me. There were no options left after hearing her arguments and bleakly, I had to agree they were valid. What she said had rung true and I could appreciate where
she was coming from. As much as I was at risk with a Kiss of vampires, I put far greater risk upon them.

  But what to do now? Going back to the bedroom wasn't an option; Lucas was expecting to meet me downstairs. I couldn't pack and leave right away – how would I get out without a confrontation? The idea of facing them with what I'd learned was something I couldn't stomach. There was only one alternative, which would give me time to digest what had been said and make some decisions about how to get out of the house with the least amount of confrontation.

  Taking a deep breath, I cleared my head of the thoughts milling around, knowing Ripley might notice them. I needed to keep my thoughts about the future neutral, so Marianne wouldn't notice anything if she had one of her fortune-telling moments. This wasn't going to be easy. The only viable option was to open my mind to the spirits, allowing as many as possible to clamor at once. It would stop Ripley reading my mind and might be enough to stop Marianne seeing my future - at least until I'd decided on one. I set myself the task of thinking about Lucas in my future, despite the heartbreaking realization that it was impossible. Releasing the spirits, the cacophony of voices assaulted my head, the first tendrils of a headache working its way into my temples.

  Grasping the banister, I walked carefully down the stairs.

  They were seated around the living room, no discernible tension remaining from the argument they'd ended only seconds ago. Marianne met me at the bottom of the stairs and drew me into an affectionate embrace. “We thought you were going to sleep all night through!” She kissed my cheek, her affection both genuine and touching. “Come into the kitchen, Rowena has prepared a meal for you.”

  I followed her to the kitchen, the others drifting along behind us. Marianne ushered me to a chair and the rest of the group joined us around the table. This was unusual in itself, normally only Rowena, and occasionally Marianne, joined me in the kitchen. Tonight they all gathered, crammed around the small kitchen table with Gwynn and William sitting on the kitchen bench. The only distinct sign of anything being wrong was the pinched look in Gwynn's expression, the way she held her arms stiffly crossed over her chest.