Momentary Lapse

by Toni J Strawn

A tiny part of Madison had hoped Cole might have come for her.

  But he’d come because Jess had asked him to. She’d been hell-bent on attending the auction ever since Madison first mentioned the event. Somehow she’d managed to talk Cole into bringing her.

  He’d come.

  He’d seen her.

  And he didn’t care.

  Madison shouldn’t either. She’d been the one to send Cole away.

  But as Cole’s broad back disappeared through the crowd, she knew she didn’t want him to leave. Not without having the chance to talk to him one last time.

  Madison huffed out a breath. Yes. She was being stupid. Nothing she said to him would give her the unquestionable trust and acceptance she was looking for…but Madison couldn’t lie anymore. She had to tell Cole how she felt. That she loved him.

  Cole would throw it back in her face for sure, but Madison wasn’t going to let that stop her. She’d tell him, then she’d get on with her life. She would get over him. Eventually.

  “Madison?” Patricia called out in her fake, tinkling voice as Madison made her move to chase Cole down and tackle him with the truth. Her mother pressed cold fingers against her arm. “People are staring.” Her mother grated in her ear. “Don’t do this.”

  Madison turned. “Do what?” she asked, fierce determination hidden behind a saccharin smile. “Go after the man I love?”

  Patricia hauled Madison away from the governor’s crowd. “I thought we’d covered this. You are way out of his league.”

  Madison smiled. Out of his league? Her mother had it wrong. And she would never see it.

  “He was expelled from school.” Her mother continued, going for the kill-shot. “Is that what you want? A wannabe drug addict?”

  Madison couldn’t help but laugh. She knew Cole had been in trouble at school, but she didn’t believe for one moment he’d been involved in drugs. He was too honest about himself for that. He would never willingly cede control. That was what she loved about him. She shot a quick glance across the room. Cole was almost to the door.

  “People change, Mom. You did when you left North Dakota. I’ve changed.” She removed her mother’s hand from her arm. “You can thank Cole for that. He’s the one who helped me see myself the way I really am.”

  “So, you would give up all this.” This time it was Patricia who laughed. “The money? The nice clothes?” Her smile turned nasty. “It’s all right now, when you think you’re in love. But it won’t last. You’ll be left, cold and alone, and all too late you’ll realize what you’ve lost.”

  “It was too late the moment I met Cole,” Madison said. “I can’t be who you want me to be, Mom. I want my own life. With or without Cole.”

  She walked away and didn’t look back.

  “Madison St. James.” Her mother’s voice hissed in the undertones of a whisper.

  Madison started running, uncaring that she brushed guests aside, or that people shot peculiar glances her way. For once, she couldn’t give a flying fuck what any of them thought. Not her mother. Not Governor Bell. None of them.

  Only one person’s opinion mattered.

  And he was disappearing out the door.

  Chapter Twenty

  From the corner of his eye, Cole caught a ripple of activity ruffling the crowd like wind through wheat grass. A tingle of heat burned between his shoulder blades. He halted and turned, eyes skipping through the faces until they lit on one.

  Madison.

  She drew to a stop, a hesitant look on her face.

  Her expression of uncertainty caught at Cole’s heart. Squeezed tight. He started toward her, but she veered from his path. To the bar. She caught his gaze and raised one finger. Wait? Cole stood still and did just that. Waited. His focus never wavered. Drinking her in, drowning in the sea of emotions that rushed through him, too numerous to follow. Hope. Despair. Need. Want. Love.

  He tracked her every movement while she ordered a drink—bolstering her courage—smiled politely at the lady next to her, then finally made her way to him.

  “I don’t believe I ever bought you that drink.” She held out a shot glass filled to the brim with clear liquid. A tentative smile tugged at her lips.

  Part of Cole wanted to tip his head back and laugh, the other two-thirds reeled from being so close to her again. On stage, Madison had been too beautiful for words. Up close, she was a complete devastation. Her scent gripped him hard. She smelled just like she looked. Clean and fresh and mouthwateringly sweet. A sense of calm settled over him. His lips twitched as he tapped his glass to hers.

  “To us,” he said, putting everything he had into those two words.

  “Us?” Her smile was slow, liquid sunshine.

  Holding each other’s gaze, they both knocked back the liquor. Madison’s eyes teared up as she swallowed roughly.

  “First one’s always a bitch.” Cole gasped as she fought back a splutter.

  Madison grimaced. “Yeah. I forgot.”

  Were they going to do this? Stand here and act as friends, like nothing lay between them? She looked to him, a smile curving her perfectly contoured lips. And instead of the moment growing awkward, standing and talking to Madison seemed like the most natural thing to do.

  He rolled the empty glass in his fingers and frowned. Cleared his throat. “I want to talk to you. About us.”

  He looked around for somewhere to put the glass and spying a passing waiter, switched it for a full glass of champagne. Stalling. He took a mouthful and grimaced. Now the moment was here, Cole didn’t know how to put everything he felt for Madison into words.

  “So…about us?” One brow rose.

  “I’ve been an idiot. A total fucking idiot.” The words tumbled out. Cole shook his head as her eyes widened. Shit. This wasn’t how he wanted to explain everything. Not here. Not like this. “Can we go somewhere else?” he suggested. “There’s a hotel close by we both know.”

  A small frown bit into her forehead, her brows pulling together. The chill of defeat rolled over Cole. Despite her gesture with the vodka, she was reluctant to go any further. He rubbed at his face, glancing around the room, trying to find the answer. His gaze lit on the spot Jess had been in not five minutes ago. She’d gone. Disappeared. And Cole didn’t even care. He was right where he needed to be. Now, he just had to convince Madison she was in the right place too. With the right person.

  “Do you trust me?” He offered his hand, an invitation to join with him.

  Madison hesitated a moment. Cole held his breath. Waiting.

  She looked up at him, the hurt in her eyes so clear he felt it like a knife to the chest. “I think the question is more about whether you trust me.”

  “With all of my heart.” Cole’s voice cracked as he spoke the words that had never been truer. He tightened his hand around hers, gripping so hard he was scared he would crush her fingers, yet unable to find the courage to let go.

  “So, will you come with me?”

  Her eyes met his, dark and smoldering. “Oh yes.”

  Cole’s heart started hammering and it wasn’t for fear of what to say anymore. The way Madison was looking at him, they needed to go. Now. Otherwise Patricia St. James might just get more of a spectacle than she bargained for.

  It was Madison who guided Cole out through the dressing room. Mostly deserted, backstage was stark and bare away from the glamor of the ballroom. Mind you, Cole would be happy to be in a stinking, rat-infested alley with garbage up to his ankles if Madison was with him.

  Giving into the temptation to touch, he put his arm around her back as they found their way outside. The brush of her skin was a sizzle of heat against his palm, sending a flurry of warmth to pool in his gut. Harden his cock.

  His grip tightened and she looked up at him. The corners of her mouth curled upward and her breath blew against his cheek, sending shivers of desire s
cudding down his spine.

  “I dreamed of you,” he whispered.

  “You’ve been in my thoughts too.”

  “I don’t take it lightly, what you’ve done,” he started. His head was swimming, lightheaded with hope. He fumbled with words that should have come naturally, impatient to have her back in his arms and never let go. “I can see you’ve been struggling…to get away from your position. Your wealth…power…everything I thought I hated about you.” He tried to cup her face but she started to pull away. “I was wrong about that,” he tried to explain, conscious he was fucking it up. “I’m sorry. I’m trying to say I know what you meant, about the life you’re stuck in. Thomas and Logan too, no doubt.” Cole was surprised to feel a pang of sympathy for his cousin. And Logan. The man who had sent Madison spiraling into his arms. “I’ll be with you, wherever you are. Whoever you choose to be. I don’t care if you’re Lady Madison or lowly Madison, you can live your life however you want, as long as I can be a part of it.” His voice faltered. “I need to be a part of it.”

  Time and again, Madison had proved her belief in Cole. She had stepped up and claimed his heart. She deserved so much more than he could give her…but he’d spend a lifetime proving his worth if she’d let him.

  “I see you for who you really are,” Cole said. He crushed Madison’s fingers, fearful she would run if he let go. “I see who you are,” he whispered hoarsely.

  Madison said nothing for a long moment. Then she reached up and pressed her lips to his mouth, breath melding with his. It felt so good.

  Right.

  Before he could lose himself, Madison pulled back and slipped her hands in his. She looked up at him and squeezed his fingers in return.

  “I see you too,” she said.

  And there was only truth between them.

  * * * * *

  Hailing a cab was the easy part. Keeping her hands off Cole in the back seat…impossible.

  Madison’s blood flowed hotly through her veins, her body flushed with heat. She turned her head to inhale his scent, spicy and succulent, drawing him deep into her lungs. She closed her eyes, running an exploratory finger down the center of his thigh. She felt his answering quiver and shifted in her seat as the ache inside her belly exploded into full-blown need.

  Cole trapped her fingers against the hard muscles of his leg. So not helping. Another shaft of pleasure shuddered through her. He slipped his hand around the back of her neck and Madison’s mouth watered as he slowly lowered his head, inch by tantalizing inch, until he was only a whisper away. If she stretched up, the softness of his mouth would melt into hers. She could almost feel the lick of his tongue against her lips. Probing…stroking…tasting.

  With a low moan, Madison lifted her head to close the distance. Her fingers curled into his jacket, glad to have something to hold onto as Cole’s mouth crashed against hers. He wrapped his arm low around her back to yank her against the hardness of his chest. The heat of his erection smoldered through her dress, scorching a brand into her hip.

  Madison was in flames, and Cole was both the ignition source and the cool salve to save her. She needed to touch him, but there was no room for her to get beneath his shirt. She found the column of his neck, seeking solace in the silky lengths of his hair. He stroked her hip, fingers running down to the slit in her dress.

  Madison couldn’t hold back. She dug into his waistband, tugging at his shirt, desperate to find skin. She needed to reassure herself Cole was real, that she wasn’t going to wake up and find herself in a dream as she had on countless mornings since he’d left.

  Tension relaxed as her fingers found the flat surface of his stomach. She roamed further, stretching to follow the line of his ribs, the curve of muscle just below his nipples.

  “Mmm.” A hum of satisfaction purred from her lips.

  Cole pulled back, his breath a ragged hiss, an expression close to pain clouding his features. He carefully extracted Madison’s hand from under his shirt. He kissed her fingertips, teeth scraping gently, making her squirm in her seat.

  “The things I want to do to you.” His words were a caress, brushing against her breasts, between her thighs…Madison had come alive under his touch and it took all of her will to show restraint and not fling herself into his lap. “I can’t do them here. But soon,” he promised.

  His pledge of fulfillment had to last Madison the rest of the short, torturous drive. She vowed she’d give Cole everything he wanted. Everything she had. Being without him had been agony. This was real.

  They made short work of the trip to his hotel room door. Cole got busy finding a way into her gown while trying to swipe his card through the access reader. Only one of those actions was successful. Cool air hit Madison’s back as her dress gaped open.

  If they didn’t get through the door, she had a feeling they were going to end up on the floor. Naked. Right now. His mouth wandered along her collarbone and she drew a shuddering breath. Madison could feel every inch of his body press into her. Wanting her.

  “Cole. Door. Now,” she rasped.

  The door pushed open and they were inside. Madison let her dress fall where she stood and stepped out of her panties. Behind her came a sharp intake of breath, then Cole moved to unclip her bra. Her breasts swung free of the cups and he swung her around. He lowered his head to capture her lips with a feather-light kiss.

  Madison stretched up, wanting to claim his mouth and be claimed. But Cole had other plans. She sank back onto her heels in frustration when he drew away.

  “Patience.” He half-chuckled, half-growled, and Madison had the satisfaction of knowing he teased himself as much as her. He reached for her again.

  This time it was Madison who stepped away. “No. You now.” Moving to the bed, her greedy look never left Cole as she sat down. She wanted him to strip out of his clothes, to see if reality matched her memory, which had painted a very sexy picture.

  Madison licked her lips as he complied with her wishes, easing out of his jacket. All the while, his stare lapped at her thighs.

  “Open your legs. Let me see,” he ordered.

  She let her thighs fall open and his lips parted as the glistening dampness of her pussy was exposed, her swollen clit. Madison skimmed her hands along the tops of her legs, holding back her own shiver of pleasure.

  “The quicker you get undressed, the sooner you can be inside me,” she reminded him.

  Cole’s shirt came off a lot easier than his jacket had. And what was revealed was every bit as spectacular as Madison remembered. More so. She wanted to press her fingers into the dimples at his spine, trace every dip, each ridge that defined the outline of his hips.

  Squeezing her hands together, she tried not to give into temptation. Her body ached, heat and damp creating a sensuous slide against her clitoris as she wriggled impatiently. Waiting. Until the last item of clothing lay in a heap on the floor.

  Cole stepped within reach. Madison wrapped her feet around his calves to pull him closer, watching his skin raise into a rash of goose bumps as she trailed fingers along his stomach. His cock stood proudly and she wanted to taste it, to lick along its length and make him come. Violently. She rolled her eyes to look up at him in silent question.

  “No.” Cole shook his head. “No. I need you now. Fast. Then you can do whatever you like.”

  Madison gripped his hand. There was something else she wanted for tonight.

  “I use contraception. I-I’ve always used condoms and get regular checks.” Her face heated, but she ploughed on regardless. “If…if you trust me?”

  A sweet, sexy smile stole over his face. “No question.”

  Her chest filled with warmth, a heady feeling that stripped away the last of her doubts and fears. Madison hadn’t needed to hear it to see the truth—she’d seen it on Cole’s face the moment she offered him the drink—but the sound of those words meant more than s
he could ever explain. She felt like she’d waited a lifetime for this one perfect moment.

  “No holding back.” She promised. Shivers of anticipation danced across Madison’s skin and she ran her fingers up his sides, pulling him forward at the same time she moved back. They collapsed together on the bed, skin against skin all the way.

  “No holding back.” Cole growled his agreement.

  Madison’s senses spun. She wanted him. Every cell in her body ached for Cole like a burn that scalded her insides. Wherever he touched, her flesh tightened, sending quivers of delight shooting through her. Her nipples hardened, desperate for his fingers to find the sensitive, aching nubs.

  She pressed forward, arching her back, wanting him to engulf her with his heat, to bury his head at her breasts, his cock deep inside her. Little sounds of pleasure rose like bubbles from her throat as she tried to articulate what she needed from him.

  “Soon.” She felt rather than heard the words against her mouth.

  When he finally eased back, they were both breathless. Cole’s eyes were molten ice, the palest of blue with irises of the deepest black. He delved down to her pussy and slipped a finger inside. Madison opened herself up, giving into the mindless pleasure as he eased in another.

  “God. So wet.” A shudder racked his body and he shifted between her legs, his cock a searing heat against her thigh. “This is going to be fast.”

  “Don’t care. Do it. Now.” Madison’s words were a slur, turning to a gasp as he positioned his cock and pushed inside.

  It was the most intensely powerful feeling to have his unsheathed length entering on a slow glide.

  “I have to see,” she demanded, wanting to savor each exquisite moment.

  Cole pushed to his knees. Locked tight inside her, he lifted her ass as he slowly withdrew. She looked down the length of her body and could see his cock slide out, coated in her juices. He stopped as the bulb of his head breached her sex, eased back into her again.

  “You feel so fucking good.”

  Madison could only say one word. “More.”