by Sara Crest
I ran my hands across his muscular chest and his thick arms, we barely even knew each other yet around him I felt a level of comfort I didn’t think I could ever experience again. I felt shivers all over my body and a longing that made me realize that I could trust a man again.
But I pushed him away.
He looked at me surprised but then I saw in his eyes that he understood.
“I-I’m sorry” I told him. “There’s just so much going on in my head that I don’t know if this is right or if the feelings in my head are real or if-”
He put his middle finger over my lips to hush me, the same way he did in the bar when we first met.
“I understand, a lot has happened to you. You’re not even sure what’s real and what isn’t, what feelings to follow and what feelings are just you latching onto the first person to give you something real after a year of being another man’s dress up doll. Take your time, I know in the end you’ll understand how you feel about me.”
He leaned in one more time and kissed me, I didn’t push him away but he only let me feel his lips for a moment. His touch gave me a sense of longing, the same way I longed to see the sun when I was in the basement, the same way I longed to break those chains I longed for his lips.
It almost made me feel guilty.
He give me a smirk and stood up off of the couch, taking my hand and pulling me up with him as we watched the desert sun set.
Despite everything that was going on I couldn’t imagine a better way to have my first kiss.
I looked up at him with all the confusion a teenage girl could have about a man nearly 10 years older than her. All the confusion that came with my newfound freedom away from the bastard that bought me.
All I could think about was what was on his mind.
15
(Axel)
I felt like a fucking scumbag.
This girl had only been free for a day and I was already making a move on her. I could tell that she wanted it, deep down I knew that even though she had to deal with that sick fuck inside of her head for that long that she wanted nothing more than to forget her troubles. I wanted to help her forget, but that mental block was there for me.
If she had been the same girl without the baggage I would have taken her right there. I would have ripped that shirt off, pulled those pants and panties down, lift her up and have her ride me on that couch for hours and hours until I came so hard the whole town would have heard me. Hell I knew I could do that to her right now, I could be her first and give her something she would never forget.
I hated to say this, but I had to give her a little bit of space.
Figured I get out of jail and the first girl I attach myself to has even more baggage than I do. Looks like it would be a little while longer before I got to feel the real sweet relief only a woman could give you.
I felt Wyatt’s phone vibrate in my pocket as the sun finally set over the horizon, you never fully appreciate something like this until you get to experience it without looking through a chainlink fence or the bars of a window.
I took my phone out and answered it, putting it to my ear.
“We warmed him up for you” Wyatt said. “We think he’s just about ready to crack. We got him at the usual spot, you can come in whenever you’re ready.”
“Alright, we’ll be there in a few.”
“What do you mean “we’ll?” Are you bringing that girl with you? Who the hell is she anyway you’ve been out for a day and you already got yourself a piece of arm candy?”
“Yeah I’m bringing her with me, this is something she really should see. You’ll understand when I explain everything to you.”
I hung up the phone and looked down at Hannah. I wouldn’t call myself a therapist but I assume if she saw how utterly powerless we had made Edgar that maybe she would get some of her confidence back. It’s not something I would normally show a girl I was starting to catch feelings for, but special times call for special measures.
“There’s something I want you to see. You might not like it at first but in the long run I think it’ll be good for you.”
“Are you taking me to see Edgar?”
“What’s left of him.”
16
(Hannah)
Feeling that desert wind blow through my hair was the best thing I could ask for, it was like the planet was telling me “welcome back to the real world.” I was loving every second of it.
We pulled up outside of a garage and Axel got off of the bike.
“If you don’t want to see this you don’t have to you know” he told me as he led me to the back door of the garage. “I brought you here so that you’d have the option but that doesn’t mean you have to go through with it.”
I grabbed onto his hand and held on. “No, I need to see it, I need to know that sick bastard was hurt just like he hurt me for so long. I know I might regret it later, and I know I should never wish harm on another person but he treated me like… like…”
“You don’t have to say it” he replied to me. “Don’t worry, it’ll all be over soon.”
He opened the back door and I was surprised to hear that there were still men working on bikes and cars in the front. Seemed a little late for them to still be here.
When we opened the door Wyatt was sitting there smoking a cigarette, looking down at the floor as he tapped his foot in frustration.
“Something’s happened Axel, something big.”
Axel walked over and put his hand on Wyatt’s shoulder.
“What happened? Did Edgar escape? Why didn’t you tell me on the phone?”
“No no, we still have Edgar, he’s right behind that door there” Wyatt said taking the cigarette out of his mouth and pointing to a nearby door that was closed. “I just got word… those fuckin’ Scorched Satan bastards hit us again. A group of our guys hanging out near another auto shop, they just rolled in and gunned them down. Clay was in that group but by some fucking miracle he survived with only a bullet in his leg and arm.”
I immediately thought of the Scorched Satan bikers Axel and I ran into on our way to Edgar’s house, were they the same men that did it?
“Jesus christ” Axel muttered. He put his hand up to his head, almost as if he was in physical pain just by hearing the news.
“How many guys did it?” Axel asked, sounded like he had the same thought as me.
“Our boys counted around 15” Wyatt replied. “No fucking clue how they got into town unnoticed by our scouts.”
Axel seemed to breath a little sigh of relief knowing that it probably wasn’t the 4 men that we saw earlier. Having that weight on him would almost be too much. I watched him as he looked at the door to the room where they were keeping Edgar, he opened his mouth to say something but Wyatt cut him off.
“Look I know you want to go and see Clay but the guy is already warmed up for you, I'm not sure if we can get him to this state again I think he's just about ready to call it quits. If you want to find out about Zeke’s killer then nows the time.”
Axel looked at me and then patted Wyatt on the back. He walked over to the door and opened it, immediately the sound of blaring heavy metal music filled the garage. With the door closed you couldn't hear it over the sounds of the men working on the cars but now it was so loud you felt as if you could go deaf at any moment.
Axel walked in and the music stopped. After a few seconds I heard him call out.
“If you want to come in nows the time.”
I took a deep breath and prepared myself for what I might see.
I headed into the room to see Edgar hanging by his arms from a chain attached to the ceiling. He was still completely naked from before and it looked like someone had beaten him all over his upper body. He had purple and brown bruises all over him, including some marks that looked like cigarette burns, if it was any other person I would have been disgusted with what they did to him, but this man deserved everything that was coming to him.
He had two speakers on either
side of him connected to a CD player. Mason stood nearby and was wearing thick hearing protection that he took off when he saw both of us walk into the room.
“Are you ready to talk?” Axel said as he lightly pushed Edgar so that he'd start swinging from the chains.
Edgar hesitated but slowly nodded his head. It was hard to believe that the man who had brought me fear for so many months, the man who given me so many sleepless nights, was now hanging here defenseless at the mercy of a man who vowed to help me.
Axel took the photo out of his pocket and showed it to Edgar again, just like he did in the basement.
“Tell me, who is this man and what are your ties to him?”
Edgar coughed and tried to catch his breath but remained silent.
Axel hit him with a solid punch to the right side of his ribs, causing him to grunt in pain.
“Don't FUCK with me old man! I can make this so much worse, so tell me who this bastard is!”
“Okay, okay” Edgar said sounding defeated. “His name is sergeant Donnelly, sergeant George Donnelly of the Arizona state police.”
“What's your tie to him? Why couldn't we track him down and why didn't he arrest you for what you did to Hannah.”
“What do you want me to say? He's corrupt and he's my friend. That's it that's all I swear to God.”
“He's lying” I said before Axel had a chance to ask him some more questions. “There's something more to this than he's letting on I just know it. Back at the house when you left him and I alone he said that we were in over our heads and that this goes deeper than we can imagine. He's looking you right in the face and lying to you.”
Axel gave him a solid right hook across the face before grabbing him by the throat.
“You're gonna tell me what's going on right fucking now!”
“Fuck you, I gave you his name that's all you're getting out of me.”
Axel wound up to deliver another blow but Wyatt walked into the room.
“Axel, it's Clay, the wounds are worse than we thought you gotta get to the double H bar now!”
Axel looked back to Edgar pointing his finger in his face. “Your life just got that much worse.”
Axel escorted me out of the room, turning on the music as we left. I looked back to see Mason putting on his hearing protection as he watched Edgar.
I made eye contact with Edgar just as the door closed, and for the first time since I met him it was his eyes that were filled with anger and rage, not mine.
He deserved worse, and I hated that he turned me into a person that thought that way.
17
(Axel)
I didn’t want to bring the girl with me to see Clay, this was club business and we really shouldn’t have outsiders in the mix, but I didn’t have the time to go and drop her back at my apartment.
I sped through the streets of the town like a bat out of hell, swerving through turns and running red lights while Hannah held on for dear life.
Finally I reached the Double H bar, there were club brothers practically pouring out of it as more and more of them arrived. I jumped off of my bike and pushed through the crowd, leaving Hannah to struggle to catch up behind me, I felt bad about leaving her behind like that but I needed to get to the old man before it was too late.
When I got to the center of the bar they had him on a table, a fucking bar table, hanging on for dear life as he stared up at the ceiling fan.
He looked at me and his eyes lit up, just not with the same intensity as before. The gunshots weren’t in any place that was serious but they didn’t give him the attention he needed, now he was gonna die because of it.
“What the fuck is the matter with you all!?” I cried out to everyone as I walked over to Clay. “The man is dying and you put him on a dirty fucking beer soaked table? You didn’t take him to our doctor at the hospital?”
“Police blocked us from the hospital… they looked at us right in the face and said “let him die”” one of the men nearby told me.
I slammed my fist on the table in frustration, the whole room was silent with only the squeaking of the ceiling fan to cut through the tension.
“It’s alright brother” I heard Clay murmur.
I looked down at him and gripped his hand, looking straight into his eyes as I watched the life slowly leave him. This man was the closest thing I ever had to a father and now I was about to watch him leave us all behind.
“Are you sure the Scorched Satans did this to you?” I asked as I squeezed his hand.
“100% brother. They got me good, I’ve grown to be so old that I was starting to think I would never be done in like this. Guess I’ve cheated death for too long…”
Wyatt and Mason finally made it, pushing through the crowd and joining me besides Clay as we all looked down at him.
Clay raised his left hand up and grabbed the “president” patch from his old worn out, and now bullet hole ridden, leather jacket. With all of his remaining strength he ripped it off and put it in my right hand, grabbing my hand with both of his.
“You were ready before you did your time, I’ve wanted to give you this patch for so damn long. I know you can lead this club to places I never thought were possible, you’re the dreamer I never could be.”
“You’re crazy Clay” I said feeling the weakness in my voice. “You’re gonna pull out of this, you’ve always pulled out of stuff like this.”
He motioned me to come closer and I wasted no time in putting my ear besides his mouth.
“Lead them… out of this shit town” he whispered.
I leaned back and looked at him, lead them out of here? Did he want us to leave Los Aves?
“I’ve used up all my luck brother” he said as I saw him drifting off. “Now it’s your turn. I believe that you…”
His words trailed off as I watched the life fully disappear from his eyes. His main girl, Miranda, finally made it to the bar only to see me holding his lifeless hand. She ran up to him crying his name as she draped herself over his body.
I saw a few men shed a tear or two, some did the gesture of the cross over their hearts, some put their hats over their faces to hide their grief, and some simply turned away. These were some of the toughest sons of bitches I knew, but Clay took us in and made us a brotherhood when society kicked us to the curb. There was no man in this town better than him, and now I had to fulfill his role.
It was the end of an era.
I couldn’t help but feel guilty, while this man was bleeding out on the scorching hot cement with a few bullets in his body I was off kissing some girl I had only just met this morning. Yeah she led me to a man who had ties with Zeke’s killer, yeah I had the cop’s name now, but I wasn’t there to help Clay when he needed it. Maybe if I was around he would still be alive.
I tried to push what he said about leaving this town out of my head, justifying it as words of a confused man on his deathbed. There was no way he would want us to leave this place, it was our home, we had no reason to leave...
I gripped the president patch hard in my hand, just holding it made it feel like my palm was on fire. I could feel the rage building up in my heart.
“We gotta do something” I said, just barely loud enough for the 60 or so men in the bar to hear me. “We can’t just let them get away with killing our president. How long have these fucking bastards been shooting our men dead in the streets?”
“Too fucking long” I heard one of the men mumble.
“We can’t fucking do anything about it Axel” another one cried out. They have some deal going with the cops but we don’t know what the parameters are. All we know is whenever we retaliate the cops show up almost instantly and fuck us up. We can’t do anything to the cops they’ve been on our ass since…”
“Since they put Zeke in the ground” I said finishing his sentence.
“The cops turn a blind eye, for the most part, to our revenue streams but the Scorched Satans have started fucking with us in that aspect. If we don’t do anything
soon then we won’t be able to exist as a club anymore” another brother said.
I thought about George Donnelly, Zeke’s killer. I wanted nothing more than to go after him, to crack some skulls and figure out where he was, but now it looked like I was about to have a real gang war on my hands. Sure there was fighting before, but we couldn't fight back, now we had to fight. This wasn’t just a fight for preservation of the club, it was a fight to avenge Clay and all the other men the Satans took from us.
“We have to fight back, tomorrow we take this town back from those bastards that are trying to take it from us, tomorrow we find out where they’re even coming from and begin to put an end to them. We gotta honor Clay by rebuilding this club.”
“What about the cops? You want us all to get pinched?” someone called out.
“Would you rather lay down? Lay down and let those bastard Scorched Satans take everything we spent so many years building? Or would you rather know that you fought for your brothers, for the man standing next to you? For Clay who gave his whole life to this club? I don’t know what’ll happen if we fight back but I do know that if we keep going on like this then we might not even be around a year from now” I replied.
“He’s right” Wyatt replied. “This was the last straw, I’m tired of seeing my brothers shot in the streets and not being able to do anything about it. We’re not even making enough money for the club to survive anymore, we gotta do this or else everything that Clay worked for will go down the drain.”
Wyatt grabbed my arm by the wrist and lifted it over my head.
“This man is our president now, and I trust him enough to lead this club to be like it was when him and I first joined. Some of you may be too young to have ever experienced that but I can tell you that if we follow Axel that our best days are ahead of us.”
The crowd began nodding in agreement, their nodding turned to clapping and their clapping turned to cheers. I had the whole brotherhood behind me, even with what we would be going up against I felt on top of the world.