by Sara Crest
But as the whole bar cheered my name I looked at Hannah, she was looking around the crowd frightened. Part of me resented her for preoccupying me while Clay was dying but I knew that wasn’t her fault, it wasn’t her fault that I was beginning to feel attached to her, that I saw her in my life down the road. The anger I felt towards her in this moment was just a product of all these situations coming to a head at once.
All I could think about was the promise I had made to protect her, and now I was dragging her into all of this.
She deserved a real chance at life, and I was starting to think I wasn’t it.
18
(Hannah)
When we walked in Axel’s apartment I realized that this would probably be my home for a little while.
I looked at Axel and could see how tense he was as he walked into the kitchen and poured himself some water.
I knew he could tell how tense I was too.
I had only just been freed a day ago and now I was getting involved in the life of a man who was about to get into something incredibly serious. Was this the life I really wanted to live? But he was the only one who I knew who could help me.
He stripped his shirt off and walked over to me, kissing me suddenly and deeply before walking away and laying down in bed.
I eyed up his muscular body, tracing his pecs and abs as he rubbed his face in frustration. I looked at his tattoos and saw a scar to the right of his abs, I could only assume it was a bullet scar. His life was so dangerous yet I was still so drawn to him, because in all of this danger he stood firm like a rock.
I was confused about everything, I was feeling myself becoming more and more attracted to Axel but I didn’t know if what I felt was real. Whenever he kissed me he sent jolts throughout my body that made me feel like I was making the right choice but it was still so hard for me to trust anyone after everything I had gone through… yet at the same time he trusted me enough to give me a chance to prove who I was, and he promised me that he would help me. He’s made sure that Edgar could never hurt me again.
I felt a bond growing with him but I had to know if he was serious about getting me on the right track. I wanted to know but I didn’t want to put it on him now, not with all of this on his mind, even if it was a promise.
“I know what you’re thinking he said” looking at me with his soft blue eyes.
“Is that so?” I said giving a half smile.
“You’re wondering how you fit into all of this, it’s a fair question.”
He was so good at reading me it wasn’t even fair.
“Well yeah, there’s just so much going on. I’ve just kinda been thrust into it and I don’t really know what to do. I mean you said you wanted to help me but you also have to deal with that other club and find out who killed your friend. I understand if it’s a lot to put on your plate… I just don’t know what to do about it” I said rubbing my own arm.
“I don’t want you to feel obligated to stick around just because of what I did to Edgar, if you want to be free you can walk out that door right now and I wouldn’t put one ounce of blame on you, hell I’d even give you some money for the road, I always keep a few thousand hidden around the apartment.”
“I don’t want to leave” I said looking at him straight in the eye. “This might be hard to believe but you’re the most stable man I’ve ever known, you know what you want and you go out and get it, you know what’s right and what’s wrong. Even if you run this club full of men who have been to prison and who have killed you still have something that I’ve been searching for in men my whole life; compassion.”
He chuckled “don’t let the others hear that they’ll never let me live it down.”
I giggled and walked towards him, for the first night of my life I felt safe. I didn’t have to fear when Edgar would come downstairs and try to force himself on me, I didn’t have to worry about waking up with him on top of me, I didn’t have to go to sleep clutching my blanket for dear life, for the first time in nearly two years I could sleep soundly.
Axel had brought my blanket up from his bike back and neatly folded it on one of his chairs, but for tonight I felt like I didn’t need it.
I looked at the empty spot on Axel’s bed, I was worried that I would be uncomfortable sleeping next to a man so soon but I took a deep breath and went for it.
As soon as I got in bed my worries about how I would feel vanished, somehow this actually felt natural.
“I’m so sorry. About your friend I mean.”
“He’s in a better place now, at least I like to think he is.”
“I know it doesn’t mean much coming from me but I think you’ll make a great president, Clay must have known it too if he chose you over the hundreds of people there.”
“Part of me always knew I’d have this job, I just never wanted to face the reality of it” he replied.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what did he whisper to you?”
He paused for a moment, it didn’t look like he was coming up with a lie, it looked like he was trying to figure out if he should actually tell me.
“He said… that I should lead this club out of this town.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“I don’t really know, there must have been a reason why Clay thought it was a good idea. It’s just that we have our roots here, our history…”
“Maybe he thought it was for the best. Did he say where to go?” I asked.
“No, nothing. Back in the old days he did talk about Wyoming though…”
I let him trail off as I looked up at the ceiling, it was amazing how much my life had changed in just 24 hours. All for the better, I just wanted Axel to feel as good as I felt, I couldn’t imagine everything going through his mind after what he just went through.
I glanced over at Axel’s shirtless body as he looked out of his window onto the streets below. I couldn’t believe his level of self control, I had told him earlier that I was unsure about all of this and he actually understood where I was coming from.
I would have thought that a man fresh out of jail would want to ravage a young girl in his bed.
To pin me down and kiss my neck, to tear off my underwear, to feel his breath in between my legs…
I tried to calm myself down but all I could do was imagine that body on top of me, imagine him thrusting into me again and again as I moaned his name into his ear. He had taken me away from Edgar and now I was imagining him taking something that Edgar had desired since he bought me, my virginity.
I knew I wasn’t ready for it, not yet, and who even knew if it would be Axel that would be my first. But I did now that I wanted to feel some intimacy with him, to touch and feel him and to have those shivers go down my spine again.
I slowly put my hand on his core, feeling the heat of his skin as I ran my hand up and down his chiseled abs. He turned and looked at me and our eyes met, I could already feel myself getting lost in his deep blues. I wanted to take his mind off of everything that was happening, if only for a moment.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me into him, kissing me again and again as I felt his body against mine. Each kiss from him was better than the last.
He rolled over on top of me and held my hands down as our lips locked together. I freed my hand and ran it down his face and jaw before holding him by the chin.
He broke our kiss and began kissing me down the side of my neck, I felt his cock through his pants rubbing up against me. Oh my god it was so huge, are all guys this big?
I dug my nails into his back as he ran his hands up my shirt, getting closer and closer to my breasts, with every inch that his hand slid up he sent chills all over my body.
It was all going so well, I wanted him and he wanted me, but suddenly I became anxious. Suddenly my heart began racing the same way it did whenever Edgar came downstairs.
I grabbed Axel’s hand by the wrist, stopping him from going up any further. He looked at me in confusion and then understanding as I closed my e
yes and took a deep breath.
“I shouldn’t have pushed you, I should have known better” he said to me softly as he took my hand in his. God now I felt like I just made him feel worse, losing his friend and then having a girl in bed who was too afraid to show intimacy.
“It’s not your fault” I said getting the strength to open my eyes up and look at him. “I do want you, I want you to be my first, I want you to give me what I missed out on these past few years. It’s just that he still haunts my thoughts, I still need a little more time.”
He sighed but kissed me on the cheek, his rough and manly hands squeezing my soft and delicate ones. I could tell he was frustrated, I could tell he was more horny then he had probably been in years, that he had a lot on his mind that he just wanted to get out.
He had no real obligation to stick with me, hell he could have left his bed and gone to the double H bar to be with the dozens of women that hung out there, I’m sure there would be tons of women who would love to hop on and ride the now president of the Desert Vultures. Yet he stayed here.
He rolled off of me but pulled me in, embracing me as he rubbed his hand up and down my back. I gave him small kisses on his bare chest to show that I did want him, to show that I was just a young girl dealing with confusion and that I was grateful to have him. I just didn’t know where things were going right now.
I looked up at him to see him staring out into space, contemplating. He probably had so much on his mind, he just needed something to relieve his stress.
I wish I could have helped him feel good, to help him forget his troubles. All I did was make it worse.
God what was I thinking.
I wish I could be normal.
19
(Axel)
Once again I was ripped from my dream in the middle of the night, once again I saw that officer’s face smiling at me as I held my gut and watched my friend die.
I clenched my fists tight, I wanted to explode, but after a few deep breaths I calmed down.
I looked over at Hannah who was still fast asleep. After she had cleaned herself up she really was more beautiful than any woman I had ever seen. I leaned over and kissed her on the forehead and she stirred a little bit, I was just happy that she chose to stay with me, although I really did want to make sure that she wasn’t attached to me for the wrong reasons.
I looked out of my window into the night, I was restless, and after that dream I knew I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again.
I got out of bed slowly to make sure I didn’t wake Hannah up. I put on my pants, t-shirt and slipped on my shoes. I took Hannah’s blanket and gave it to her, I had to chuckle to myself, she had been through so much yet she was still so innocent. At least if she woke up she would have that for comfort and know that I didn’t just walk out of here.
I turned and walked out the door slowly closing it behind me so I wouldn’t make any noise. I just needed to feel my bike underneath me for an hour or two, to get my head clear. I wish I could talk to Clay about all of this.
“Can’t believe they did that to you old man” I said locking the door behind me so that nobody could get in. Mason and a few of the guys were able to take his body to a morgue, we all promised not to have the funeral until this was all sorted out. I didn’t want to put Clay into the ground until I fully knew I had avenged him. Clay always said that he didn’t want his funeral to be sad and depressing, he wanted it to be a celebration of his life, not mourning his death. I’d find a way to give the to him somehow.
I took the elevator downstairs and walked outside to a cooler summer night, fully knowing that this could be the last night I ever got to experience.
I got on my ride and turned the key, listening to that engine roar before speeding off.
Our town was so small that at night there was barely any activity, made me feel like I was all alone in the world.
I drove through the empty roads, cruising like I used to back when I was a teenager wanting to show off whatever bike it was that I jacked off of a street corner in Phoenix.
Clay was still pretty old back then too, always used to get annoyed at me whenever I stole bikes but at the same time told me he could see my ambition and drive. Couldn’t believe he was gone.
I drove by Wyatt’s garage, as I passed by I could still hear the faint sound of heavy metal music. It was almost impossible to hear from outside, any passer by wouldn’t have noticed it, but when you specifically listened out for it you could just barely pick it up.
I parked my bike and turned it off, walking to the back door and getting the spare key Wyatt kept pushed into the dirt underneath a nearby cinder block. I figured he wouldn’t mind if I checked up on our little guest, I had Hannah on my mind and I needed to ask Edgar some questions, besides the man needed a break otherwise he might turn deaf.
I never felt like this about a woman before, I never had a girl on my mind for more than a few hours. Most of the women I had been with were just one night stands, at the most I kept them around a few days if they were good, Hannah was something special though. I guess I just couldn’t put my finger on it.
I walked into the garage and turned the light on, the place was completely empty with nothing more than a few cars and bikes they were working on and a couple of unfinished projects Wyatt had lying around.
“Just like Wyatt, always a starter never a finisher. Took me being in jail for two years for him to fix me up a bike” I said chuckling to myself.
I walked over to a table where Mason’s hearing protection was resting, picking them up and putting them on before opening the door to the room where we kept Edgar.
I turned the music off and turned to him, he was still hanging there by his wrists, wide awake with bloodshot eyes as he stared at the floor.
“W-w-wate…” he struggled to spit out. I saw how dry and patched his lips were, guess we hadn’t given him water all day, not like he deserved it after giving Hannah a damn heat stroke.
I picked up a bottle of water nearby and splashed some on his face before putting it to his lips. He thirstily drank half of it before coughing some of it back up onto the floor.
“You didn't think I’d let you spend the night all alone did you?” I said as I leaned against a nearby table and crossed my arms.
“Are you ever gonna let me go?” he asked. He sounded so defeated I almost felt bad for him, almost.
“Were you ever gonna let Hannah go? Or were you just gonna slowly break her in mind, body, and spirit until she was nothing more than a dress up doll you could fuck?”
“What do you care?” he spat out, his bloodshot eyes looked like they could pop out and come right at me. “Like you aren’t gonna do the same thing, I know you biker types far better than you could ever imagine. All you do is fuck and chuck women, moving on to the next one and leaving the last one broken. Are you any different than me?”
I walked up to him and grabbed him by the face, making him look at me straight in the eye.
“I am nothing like you. Yeah I’ll admit I want her, I’ll admit that I want to feel her in the same way that you did, but with me she has a choice and she can walk out of my door at any time.”
“She has a choice? I bought that girl at a secret auction for 10 grand, I know what kind of home she came from, she has nobody to go to. She’s just latched onto you because you’re the only one that would give her any attention, you’re the only one she has right now. For her own sanity she has to stay with you, she has no real choice.”
“The difference is I don’t abuse her! You might not think she has a choice but I’m not the one holding her back, yeah I see her in my future life but I know damn well that if I help her they’ll be a chance that she walks away from me and never comes back. I’m willing to take that chance, for her.”
He looked up at me and then turned his head away, breaking his chin from from my grip.
I backed off for a few seconds to calm down. If that bastard even thought about comparing the two of us again I’d give h
im much worse than just some loud heavy metal.
“Where did you buy her, what contacts do you have that let you fucking buy another human being?”
“I’ll go to my grave with that info kid, I don’t care how badly you torture me. The people that would come after me if they found out I told would do far worse that you ever could, hell I’d beg you to put me in the ground if I gave them up.”
I stared him down, looking deep in his eyes. He was telling the truth, this was something I really wasn’t going to get out of him.
“I… I will tell you that it’s nearby” he continued. “It’s up in Las Vegas, they bring the girls out one by one and let you make your pick. I could have had any of a dozen girls that were being sold that day, but I chose her.”
God damn, there were more of those girls out there. Wonder why Hannah never mentioned it, maybe they kept the girls cut off from each other so they didn’t try to fight their way out?
“How could you live with yourself knowing that you were keeping this girl against her will in your basement, that you were treating her like she was your toy?” I asked.
“Are you kidding? I revelled in it, I woke up every morning like it was Christmas. The buildup and the anticipation was practically killing me, I was going to let her sit around there for at least another year before I finally-”
“Why did you chose her?” I asked cutting him off, just thinking about him touching her in any way made my skin crawl. “Of all the girls there why did you choose her?”
He looked at me and smirked, a dirty smirk that you’d expect a sick fuck like him to have. It didn’t help that he was still completely naked from before, but he didn’t deserve to wear clothes, he deserved to have his pathetic manhood exposed to the world.
“I chose her because I thought she’d look the best jumping up and down on my cock.”
I punched him as hard as I could on his right cheek, harder than I had ever hit another man before. Part of me thought that he enjoyed pain to some extent, but I knew that no matter what that punch was the single most painful moment of his life.