“Tonight my friend Chase is bringing his newborn son over to the house. I’m gonna babysit him while he goes out on a date with Quinn.”
Wes grabs his phone. “Do we have permission to film the baby?”
I give out a haughty laugh. Chase would never allow his baby to appear on my show.
“Well we can film afterwards. And then you have a date planned with a costar Tucker, who also happens to be friends with Barrett. Is this a revenge date or do you truly feel something special for Tucker?”
I sit up in my seat. “What? I’m not going out with Tucker tonight.”
Wes and the cameraman exchange a suspicious glance. They put Tucker up to this.
“Tell us about Tucker.”
I take a moment to gather my thoughts. “Tucker is another coworker. We hang in the same crowd. Drinking buddies, I suppose. “
“And when did you realize there was something more?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Ginger.” Wes gives me a stern look and throws his hands up in the air.
I play the part they want me to. “We hooked up on Valentine’s night. He’s not the type of guy I can see myself ending up with, but he’s fun for right now.”
“Great, thanks doll. That’s all I need.”
I give them a tight smile and continue with my day. I have phone interviews and video chats for a few hours. I’m in the middle of heating up dinner, when the doorbell rings. I’m making a burger, believe it or not. Yeah, I think I’m replacing wine with comfort food. The bell rings at least six more times before I make it to the door.
“I’m coming!”
Chase and Quinn stand there with little Collin inside a car seat, a blanket covers the top.
“It’s about time.” Chase says as they rush in.
“What’s wrong you guys?”
“Did you know there are about half a dozen photographers by the street?”
I give them a sympathetic look and shut the door behind them. “I’m sorry. There’s not much I can do. I’ve learned to ignore them over the past few weeks. They pretty much stay camped out there in hopes of seeing me with another guy, and I’m sure my agent called them in. I’ve got a date with…Tucker tonight.”
Chase laughs as if I’ve just said a joke. “That’s funny, Ginger.”
“No really. I have a date with Tucker.”
Quinn pulls Collin out of the car seat before speaking. “But you hate Tucker. You called him a womanizing prick.”
“Well the producers want me dating for the show. I may as well start somewhere. Tucker and I have this love hate relationship. Maybe he isn’t as bad as I thought.” Everyone knows reality TV isn’t always true.
“That’s the type of thinking that got you stuck with Barrett,” Quinn says.
We walk into the kitchen where Quinn begins unloading bottles to put in the fridge. I raise my eyebrow at her as she makes a second trip.
“Um, how long will you be gone?”
“A few hours, but I wanted to make sure you didn’t run out. He eats all the time now.”
“Whatever. He’ll be fine. I’ve taken care of many babies. Collin will have lots of fun.” I grab Collin from Chase’s arms and bring him in close to kiss the top of his head.
“He’s only had a bottle a few times so if he doesn’t like it call me.”
“Okay.”
“Oh and he likes to be rocked.”
“Quinn!” I shoot her a scowl. She shouldn’t worry so much. I’ve got this covered.
“No drinking, no men, no cameras. Got it?” Chase says.
“Yes, sir.” I reply with a salute. “Go on. We’ll be fine.” I give Chase a subtle wink. I want them to come back so I can begin planning with Quinn.
“Thank you, Ginger. We won’t be out too late.” Quinn kisses Collin and then me before I start pushing them towards the front door. They need to go and have a real date.
“Get out of here you kids. Baby Collin and I will be just fine.” I practically push them out the door. Once the door is locked behind them, I heat up a bottle in some warm water. Collin doesn’t make a peep, he is perfectly content all snuggled up in my arms. Once the bottle is ready, I take him upstairs to the nursery I made for him and rock him in the glider. It’s been a few years since I’ve watched a baby; the last baby I held was my little brother Indiana. He was born right before I moved away. I bet he doesn’t even remember me. I send all six of them gifts for Christmas and birthdays. I sometimes get letters and pictures from the younger ones, and I keep up with the oldest on Twitter. I should go home sometime. It’s time to stop being childish because I miss them. It’s not fair to punish them because I didn’t get the parents I wanted, but it’s been so long I would feel awkward going home now. Maybe Quinn’s wedding will bring us all back together. It’s an unobtainable hope, but a hope nonetheless.
Quinn and Chase make it home in record time. I squeal as they make it through the door while holding out her hand.
“It’s so big!” I examine the huge diamond. “I’ve already got all the plans laid out. Fall wedding. We can have it on the beach or back home.”
“Slow down, Ginger. No rush.” Quinn takes back her hand. “Where’s Collin?”
“Upstairs in bed.” I drop my lower lip. But I wanted to do some planning!
“I’m gonna get Collin, but I promise we will meet soon and begin planning.” She goes upstairs leaving me and Chase alone in the foyer.
“Did she cry?” I ask.
“Of course.” Chase rubs the back of his neck. “I know it’s none of my business, but Tucker is a friend. He’s had this thing for you since he started on the show.”
“Really?” I’m genuinely surprised because we’ve always been just friends who barely tolerated each other. “He has a strange way of showing interest with all that sleeping around.”
“He’s nineteen, and you weren’t available. All I’m saying is, don’t think he’ll change. Don’t make the same mistake twice.”
“Well I’m not interested. I’m only doing this for my show. Don’t worry. I’ll talk to him.”
Quinn comes downstairs with Collin and gives me a quick hug. “Sorry to run, but I’m so dead tired. I’ll call you in the morning.”
I shut the door behind them and go upstairs to do some last minute touches on my makeup and await the camera and Tucker’s arrival. Within minutes, Wes knocks on my door. The second I open it, production walks in.
“Get the mic on her, and let’s get this show on the road.”
I get situated with a microphone just as Tucker shows up looking all swag with a tie and holding a bouquet of roses.
“They’re beautiful; let me put them in some water.” I grab them from his hand and lean over to give him a kiss on the cheek. After putting the flowers in water, I make my way back to the living room. This has to be the most awkward first date in the history of first dates. I clear my throat and decide to be honest.
“I’m going to be upfront. I’m not interested in jumping into a relationship right now. I just had my heart broken, and things are crazy in my life.”
“I understand.” Tucker grabs my hand and pulls me to the front door. “I just want to show you a good time. If it happens to lead to sex, so be it.”
My face flushes. That can’t happen again, but I do need to move on. I try and pretend that the camera isn’t hidden on the dashboard as we leave.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“I thought I’d let you pick.”
I really don’t want to drink, and that’s inevitable at a club. “Could we do something a little more private?”
Tucker’s face lights up. “I can do private.”
I punch him in the shoulder. “Not that type of private. I just don’t want to drink tonight. I want to have fun with no pressure.”
“Absolutely, babe. Let me show you how to have fun. When was the last time Barrett took you out to have some fun?”
I try and think back. “No
t since before Quinn moved to California. Last summer?”
“Ever gone to a Superhero film festival? There’s a screening at a local theater. It’s kinda geeky, but I think you could have some fun.”
“A film festival? What type of films?”
“Tonight is Spiderman. People dress up and then do a Q and A after.”
Sounds boring, but Caspian has changed my view on things. Sometimes things aren’t what they seem. I could like superheroes. I may even love them.
“Sure, why not?”
Ten minutes later, we pull up to an old looking theater. The place looks ancient, but is jam packed full of people all dressed up in hero attire.
“I feel overdressed.” I look down at my attire.
“Not to worry. The theater is dark. Perfect for hiding…and making out.” He grabs my hand as we make our way inside.
“Making out? Are we twelve?”
Tucker cocks his head slightly at me. “You were making out with boys at twelve? Damn, I didn’t even have my first kiss until I was seventeen.”
It’s embarrassing, but I was searching for love even back then. Kissed a lot of toads thinking they would love me back. Turns out, it was just for fun. And what’s with Tucker being a late bloomer? He’s hot. Majorly hot.
“You liar. I bet the girls were all over you.”
He shrugs his shoulders. “I was a little awkward, geeky, and hadn’t come out of my shell back then. Trust me, girls didn’t find me attractive in high school.”
Once we are sitting in the theater, he puts his arm around the back of the seat. When the lights dim, he moves in for the kill. He pushes my hair off my shoulder and leans in to place a kiss on the base of my collarbone. I let out a puff of air and try to relax. Tucker isn’t like Barrett, but he isn’t Caspian either. He doesn’t make my heart race; he doesn’t understand me or make me feel special. Is this as good as I will ever get? The voice in my head tries to reason with me.
Maybe Tucker really likes you. I mean like likes you. He may change for you.
“Ever had sex in a theater?” he whispers in my ear. Well, that killed the mood. Am I back to old habits again? Really? I don’t need a man who will change for me. I need a man who changes me. Someone who makes me a better person.
“Is sex all you think about?” I ask. I curl away from him to the edge of my seat. He moves in toward my ear and whispers so softly that the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
“Sex is the only thing you can be sure of. You never know how a relationship will turn out, but you can always be guaranteed great sex.”
“But what about love. What about finding that one person you can spend the rest of your life with?”
“What about it? I don’t believe in love.”
“Well that’s convenient for you,” I mumble. “No broken hearts.”
He gives a sharp laugh, making the lady in front of us turn around and glare.
“That’s right, baby. No broken hearts.”
No broken hearts. Maybe he is on to something.
May 3rd 8:05 P.M
Dear Ginger,
It’s been weeks since we’ve emailed. I hope you’re doing okay. I’m back in the studio with the guys this week. I have a handful of great songs I can’t wait to share with you. Booker has even pitched in with a few songs of his own. My vacation wasn’t as relaxing as I had hoped. My mom was on my back the entire time about my break up with Aly, and my pops announced his retirement. My older brother, Ed, is getting married at the end of the year to some girl we’ve never met. All in all, it was a complex and hectic vacation, but considering I hadn’t seen my parents in almost six month, it was worth it. There’s always something about them that reenergizes me. I’ve completely switched to electronic cigarettes now, and I’m hoping to be off those soon. My mom was really impressed. I’ve smoked since I was 17 and never thought I’d be able to quit. I hope you’re keeping up with your end of the bargain. I think about you sometimes. Mainly about that night in San Francisco. Sometimes I wonder, if it had been a different time and a different place. Maybe we could have worked out. If I hadn’t been at this point in my life, and you in yours. Two points of our lives that could never touch. Would we have worked out? It’s not really a question that needs answering. It’s just a thought in my head tonight. Hope all is well there.
Your friend,
Cas
I read the email out loud to my psychiatrist. When I finish, I put my phone down and wait for her reaction. I’m only seeing her at the insistence of Quinn, but she isn’t that bad. It’s nice to have someone I can really talk to with no judgment.
“Ginger, it sounds like Caspian is having regrets about letting you go. How do you feel about that?”
“I feel confused.”
“That’s understandable. He helped you through some rough times; it’s only natural that you would still feel conflicted over this friendship. And your end of the bargain? How is that going?”
“I still have the cravings to drink when I’m at a party or at the end of a bad day, but it becomes more and more manageable. This week has been extremely harder than usual. I actually went to the store and bought a bottle of wine.”
“What happened this week that has put you under unusual stress?”
I take a deep breath. Where do I start? It’s been strange. “Well. My reality show was canceled after only two episodes.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, but let’s not dwell on the bad. Let’s make this negative experience a positive one. Now you can work on having a more private life outside of the tabloids like you want.”
“But I’m back to a small income. They’ve reduced my episodes on Timelines this season. My character will only be in five episodes.”
“But you now have time to focus on movies like you wanted.”
“I suppose.” I can’t be optimistic like her.
“Keep an eye out. I’m sure the perfect role will land in your lap soon.”
“I suppose.”
I bite my bottom lip and stare at the awards that decorate the white walls. She’s world renown or so it seems.
“What do I do about Caspian?”
“Don’t write him off because he doesn’t want to be with you. You care about him, right?”
“I care about him, but I want love. He can’t give me that.”
“You don’t need love to complete you, Ginger. Stop searching and learn to accept yourself. Once you do that, things will get better. You’ll see.”
“I don’t want love to complete me. I just want to get married and have a family and all the good stuff in life.”
“We’ve discussed this before. You need to stop looking for someone to replace your lack of parental love.”
She keeps saying these things, but I don’t understand how to do any of it. We spend the rest of the session talking about my parents and my need for love stemming from my mother’s lack of attachment. We can talk about it until I’m blue in the face, but it’s not sunk in yet. She gives me an assignment to call my parents, but I’m not sure I want to.
When it’s over, I get in my car. I can’t email Caspian back just yet. I need to get my feelings under control or try and fall out of love with him. If love is even what this is. I don’t know.
My speakers signal for an incoming call. I hit the Bluetooth on my steering wheel.
“Hello?”
“Ginger. It’s Robert. I have amazing news.”
“Yeah?”
“I have a part for you. Tucker Jones is starring in a movie, his costar dropped out last minute, and they need a replacement. He suggested you, and the producers are all for it.”
“What? Why would Tucker do that? What type of movie?” Who cares? It’s a movie.
“It’s a supporting role on an indie film, and it requires you to be on location in one week. It’s gonna be hard work to catch up, but I think it’s perfect for you.”
I’ve never done a movie before. I squeal loudly before pulling the car over so I c
an get out. I can’t sit still. I cover my mouth with my hands and scream.
“Ginger? Ginger? Are you still there?”
“Sorry Robert. This is the best thing to happen to me all year. I’ll do whatever it takes to be in this movie.”
“Great. I’ll work out the details and be in touch.”
I jump out of the car and begin dancing around in the parking lot. My first movie, and in Australia of all places. I have to tell someone! I begin to text Caspian, but stop midway. I press delete and text Quinn instead:
Me: Guess who got offered a part in a movie!
I dial Tucker’s number. After the third ring, he picks up.
“Hello?”
“Tucker! You loveable, sexy genius!”
He chuckles. “You got the call?”
“A movie? My first movie. I can’t believe it. How could I ever thank you?”
“I can think of a few things. You and me in a foreign country. You do the math.”
“Why me? You could have just as easily told them about Lena. You two are better friends than you and me. Plus she has movie credits to her name.”
“Just enjoy the ride. I gotta run.”
He hangs up suddenly, leaving me with a series of unanswered questions. This is the most amazing thing to happen. Maybe my streak of bad luck has finally lifted. And for the first time in a long time, I’m hopeful.
June 4th 11:55 P.M
Cas,
I’m very glad to hear from you, and I’m sorry it’s taken me weeks to reply. I’ve been out of the country for a while. Yes, you heard me! I got my first supporting role in a B movie. Okay, C movie. I’m not gonna win an Oscar or anything, but it’s a job. After my reality show didn’t get picked up, I got this amazing role about an American girl who falls in love while vacationing in Australia. You were so right when you told me that Australia was the most beautiful place in the world. I can’t even begin to describe the beaches or the views. I miss it already.
I bet your Pops is excited about retirement. How is the band? Are things easier with Aly these days? I can’t wait to hear your new songs. If they’re anything like the ones you played before, they will kick butt. I have a family member getting married this year as well! You remember me telling you about my cousin Quinn? The one with the baby. She’s getting married in October. You know how much I love planning parties! We’re not sure where it will be because she won’t pick a venue. She’s wanted to get married in the Union Station Hotel in Nashville since we were kids, but Chase wants to stay in LA. I’m glad you’re keeping up your part of the bargain. I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since that night. It was hard at first. It’s still hard at the parties, but I’ve found other ways to cope with life. Work and keeping good company. Goodnight, Caspian.
The One Thing Page 18