by Ali Parker
I was in no mood to try and play it safe around Dana tonight, but letting her down sounded far worse than suffering myself. I could get through the night. She had a man, and she was going to New York. I just needed to keep those two things in mind and we would be good.
***
I took the longest route offered to me from my phone to get to Dana. I needed a chance to cool down completely before I vomited all my dirty deeds in front of her. I wanted someone to tell me that things were different, that there was a chance to find happiness with someone else for more than just one night. Ana had been all of those things. She knew all about my past and was fine with pushing her limits in the bedroom with me. She accepted the parts of me that I was proud of, and those I hated most.
"And she's gone. Get over it." I ran my fingers through my hair as I pulled into the parking lot for Dana's apartment. The pretty girl who had been more than good to my sister didn't need any of my emotional baggage dragged in behind me, not even for a night.
I pulled the mirror down from above my head and checked my reflection. I put my glasses on and turned from left to right, trying to decide if looking studious was better.
"You freaking pansy." I got out of the car and let out a long exhale as I walked toward the apartment complex. Number three ten was on the third floor, and for some reason I figured taking the stairs would help me bleed out some of the piss and vinegar racing through my veins. I lifted my hand to knock on the door and paused. Was I making a mistake?
It's not sex. It's just dinner. Shit.
I knocked before I could talk myself out of it and walk back to my car, forgoing the night, which seemed to almost be what both of us wanted.
Dana looked beyond cute in her tank top and sleeping pants. I was taken aback by how much of a sex kitten she was. Her long dark hair danced around her shoulders as she gave me a sweet smile. Praise God she had a bra on. I'd not have survived otherwise.
"I told you it was a rough day. Where are your pjs?" She lifted her eyebrow and moved back, her gallon of chocolate ice cream held closely to her.
I reached out and took the spoon sticking out of it, slipping it in my mouth and nodded as she laughed. "I sleep naked." I tried to speak around the spoon, causing her to laugh more. I loved it. Simple. Beautiful. Sexy.
"Get in here." She reached out and grabbed the front of my shirt, pulling me toward her. She moved at the last minute to keep us from colliding, and I lamented over the lost opportunity to touch her. We were in deep shit, at least I was.
"Why the rough day?" I licked the spoon and went for another spoonful. She grabbed it from me and sucked on it as she turned her back to me and walked back into the living room.
"I don't want to talk about it."
A groan lodged in my throat as I caught a perfect outline of her panties under the soft Bugs Bunny pants she wore. A tight little G-string from what I could make out.
"Why not?" I forgot why I was asking what I was, but it seemed to fit the conversation by the look on her face as she turned around and dropped down on the couch.
"Because. I'm tired of feeling like shit thanks to other people fucking me over. I'd rather just wipe my hands clean of the madness and move forward."
"I like that." I sat down next to her and reached for a small white couch pillow to cover up my raging erection. I was acting like the nineteen-year-old idiot that apparently still lived in my head and controlled my dick.
"Good. You wanna watch a movie?" She cleaned off the spoon and dipped it back into the ice cream, offering me the spoon.
Where I was sure she expected me to take it from her, I decided to risk it and lean in. I kept my eyes on her as I opened my mouth and pulled the cold ice cream from the spoon.
She glanced down toward the bucket as her cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink.
Was she a virgin? Innocent still? Sure seemed like it. The fact that I wanted to know left me with one conclusion. We had to get out of the house or I was going to replace one treat with another.
"I'd rather take you to my favorite pizza place. You promised me dinner." I licked at my lips and glanced around the small living room, looking for evidence of a boyfriend.
Must not be a live-in, which was a point in my favor.
"Are you okay with me wearing my pjs?" She gave me a cheeky grin and got up.
"Anything you're comfortable with, I most certainly am." I leaned back and let out a long sigh, feeling a sense of peace that made little to no sense. "Wanna hear about the latest bull shit going on at my work?"
"I'd love to." She walked toward the kitchen. "Talk loud so I can hear you though."
The soft jiggle of her rear had my body aching far past anything Heather could have caused. What was it with this sweet little nurse that left my heart racing? It wasn't her. Surely not. It had to be me denying myself too long.
If that was the case, then Heather's attention would have left me coming on myself. It wasn't anything other than a carnal attraction to her.
She looks like Ana.
She did in some ways, but all beautiful Hispanic women did, at least to me. Maybe it was my desire to see her everywhere I went. It had died down a lot, but there were still times where I would find myself searching for her, praying to catch just a glimpse of her again.
"Kendal?" Dana walked out of the kitchen and leaned against the doorframe.
My eyes dragged across her and I swallowed. "Yeah?"
"What happened at work?"
"Get dressed and I'll tell you in the car." I leaned back and closed my eyes as my pulse raced. I could get through a dinner with her and keep things friendly. I'd been pushing women away for six years.
Tonight would be no different.
Chapter 12
Dana
I tried to convince myself that I was being stupid as I walked to the bedroom. There was no way Kendal was undressing me with his eyes, and yet I'd seen the look on his face on plenty of men I'd dated before Cameron. It was the look I'd get just before I found myself naked, panting and pinned to a bed.
Pursing my lips, I let it go and found a cute blue sundress and sandals that would work. I checked my hair in the mirror and decided to leave it down, though it was still a little muggy this time of year.
"You ready to tell all?" I stopped by the couch and indulged in the sight of him. His dark blue button up brought out the tan of his skin. His dark messy hair was almost too much, but it was the need in his eyes to be accepted, to be cared for, that almost crippled me. I was most likely assigning him issues he didn't have, but either way, I wanted to know his story. There was more to him than he'd shared thus far, which was understandable. We'd had coffee once - sort of.
"You gonna open me up like a diary?" He got up and adjusted his slacks before walking to the door and holding it open for me.
"If you let me. I'd love to hear your story." I walked out into the hall and forced myself to not reach for him. It would have been so easy to slip my hand into his or wrap my arm around the back of his waist, but we weren't a couple. Shit, we were barely friends.
"It's a tragedy. You okay with that?" He waited for me to go down the stairs and then followed me.
"I'm sure there are good parts along the timeline, right?"
"Yeah, of course. I love my job. Teaching has always been something I wanted to do. It just took for fucking ever to get my PhD so that I could teach." He smiled and reached out and grabbed my arm as I started to trip over an uneven patch of concrete.
"Thanks," I mumbled as I righted myself. "Jeez."
He chuckled. "And I assume you love nursing as good as you are at it."
Warmth filled me as I smiled. "I do love it. It's a good fit for my personality. I'm one of those sad souls that just wants to help everyone and I usually end up burned because of it." I shrugged as if it were really no big deal.
"I'm right over here. The white Lexus." He nodded toward the car and glanced over at me. "I don't think that's a sad situation at all. Thanks to you, my sister
isn't having continuous panic attacks. I think her knowing that you're just down the hall has helped out a lot."
"I care about your sister." I got in the car and watched him through the front window as he walked around to get into the driver's side. His slacks hugged his hips tightly, leaving the bulge at the front of his pants accentuated, or maybe not. Maybe he was a little bigger than I was used to.
As if that matters.
"You look beautiful, by the way. Tell your man I said that if he forgets to compliment you tonight." He winked and started the car.
I chuckled and decided to leave that part of the story until later in the evening. Telling him that my boyfriend of two years dropped me like a sack of rocks with nothing more than a note didn't seem like a positive start to the evening.
"Thank you. Now... tell me about the situation you're dealing with at work. Maybe I can help."
He reached up and turned on the air conditioner. "All right, but it's embarrassing. You up for hearing something a little too personal?"
I nodded as excitement raced through me. "Absolutely. Spill all of it."
"This coming from the pretty girl who blushed when I ate ice cream off the spoon she offered me."
"What? I did not." I buckled up as he teased me.
"You did. It was cute." He glanced over at me and winked. "All right, I'll tell all, but no judging me. Promise?"
I held up my fingers. "Scouts honor."
"Were you a girl scout?"
"No and you're getting off topic." I pushed at his shoulder as he pulled out of the parking lot.
"True, but I had to validate your scouts honor. You know it doesn't mean shit if you weren't actually in the scouts, right?"
"Really? I thought it-" I shook my head. "Get back to the story."
He laughed deep in his chest. I loved the sound of it, and wanted to find ways to hear it again throughout the night. His whole face lit up as he smiled over at me. How easily I could fall for someone like him.
"So my best friend in the whole world and I were head of Kappa Alpha for the four years we were in it."
"Oh no." I groaned, having heard so many tainted stories about the KA frat. "They're like the worst frat house on campus."
"Right, and we were too." He gripped the steering wheel tightly and glanced over at me. "You said no judging."
"You're right. No judging. Go ahead."
"So we had a little too much fun with our sister-sorority and did some things I'm not really proud of, but none of us were in our right mind back then. It was college, we were fucking stupid... enough said."
"Please tell me this is going somewhere other than you getting herpes."
He laughed again. "No, I deserved it, but I'm clean."
"Good to know." I shrugged as if it didn't matter, which got me another quick chuckle from him. The man at the hospital I'd seen was overwhelmed with burdens, and not that this version of Kendal wasn't, but there was something suddenly lighthearted about him. I wanted to know what had changed.
"So one of the girls I slept with a lot-"
"What's your best friend’s name?" I hated the thought of him sleeping with some random chick all the time, which was juvenile and stupid. I didn't even know him back then, and even if it were now, it was none of my damn business.
"Damon Bryant."
"From McKenzie and Bryant? The accounting firm downtown?" I lifted my eyebrow as shock rolled through me.
"You know them? Or Damon?" His turn to lift an eyebrow. "You haven't slept with him, right?"
"What? No." I shook my head and snorted. "There is no way I would sleep with him. He's like Dallas' most eligible billionaire bachelor, which means he's a whore. Sorry, but it's gotta be true."
"No, it's true, or was. He's really a-" He shook his head and pulled into a small hole-in-the-wall Italian place. "Enough about him. So the girl I slept with through college was a real bitch, just a hooker and a half."
"Sounds lovely." I got out of the car and smiled as he gave me a stern look.
"You promised no judging."
"I lied?" I gave him a cheeky grin and opened the door for us. The place was packed, but Kendal pressed his hand to my lower back and moved us to the bar.
He leaned over and pressed his mouth beside my ear, speaking loudly.
"You good sitting at the bar?"
"Yes." I turned my face a little, putting us too close together.
He moved his hand back as his eyes widened a little. "Sorry. I forget most women don't appreciate a man leading them around like he owns her."
I moved toward the bar and waited until we were seated in a high-top table in the corner and addressed his comment.
"I think most women like a man who takes charge. I do."
"Good to know." His eyes lingered on me a little longer than was comfortable.
I'd have given a million bucks to look more like Jackie. He deserved a long, lean, beautiful girl to sit across the table from him and yet he was stuck with me. Just friends. Nothing to worry about.
"So the dean calls me in the other day, and guess who the new professor in my department is? And before you answer, let me add in that I've been set up as her mentor, you know, someone to guide her through the next year of her career."
"Oh my God. Are you kidding me right now?" I sat back in shock. With everything going on with his sister, I wasn't sure how he could honestly handle much more.
"No, I wish I was." He picked up the menu as the server walked over.
"What'll it be, love birds?"
"Oh, no, we're just-" I tried to save us, but Kendal cut me off.
"What are you having tonight?" He winked and handed me the menu.
Warmth raced up my chest and coated my cheeks, leaving me to realize that I was blushing around him. How fucking embarrassing.
"Bud light, please." I glanced up to find him studying me again.
"Me too." Kendal handed the guy the menus, but kept his eyes on me.
"Stop staring at me. You're making me uncomfortable."
"What? Why?" He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "Because you have a boyfriend?"
"No, because it's just uncomfortable. I don't know." I shrugged and glanced around the bar, thinking it was a good time to go to the restroom. What was I doing? I was setting myself up for the motherlode of all heartaches. The beautiful man across the table wanted a friend and I was going to what, pretend to be one?
"Why is it uncomfortable, Dana?" He leaned forward, forcing me to return my attention back on him.
"Because Kendal. I look like your ugly-duckling little sister. It is what it is, but it doesn't mean I want to dwell on it." I was making no sense.
"You're shitting me, right?" He reached for his beer as the waiter returned and lifted it to his lips.
"Whatever. So this woman... did she hit on you?"
"Oh yeah. She's a whore and a half. I have no clue how I'm going to get her off my case. She's trying to blackmail me into sleeping with her." He chuckled. "Have you ever heard of something so ridiculous?"
"No, I mean, I can see why she would, but still..."
"Why would she? Because she's damn desperate?" The way he watched me left me feeling nude, bare, unraveled in front of him.
"Because you’re attractive."
"Am I now?" He wagged his eyebrows. "Like what you see?"
"And all of a sudden ballsy." I reached out and grabbed his beer, taking a quick sip. "Nope. No drugs in your liquor."
He laughed loudly. "Because I'm flirting I have to be drugged?"
"Perhaps." I turned a little and lifted my beer to my lips, taking a long drink of it. "What kind of pizza are we ordering?"
"What's your boyfriend's name?"
"Why?" I glanced over at him, a little put off by how quickly he could leave me dreaming of something that had to be impossible.
"Because I wanna know who to apologize to."
"It's Cameron. Apologize for what?"
"For wanting to sweep you off your
feet." He took another drink of his beer and ordered a large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and bacon on it for us.
I laughed and leaned back in my chair. Was this guy for real?
"What's so funny? You don't like bacon?"
"I love bacon, but it's horrible for your body." I glanced down at mine.
"I don't give a shit what it does to my body. It tastes like heaven, and I'm starving." He lifted his beer toward me and tilted his head to the side. "To Cameron and his last great relationship."
I laughed loudly. "Stop teasing me. You fucking flirt."
"I'm not usually, but I so wanna be with you tonight. The fact that you're running off to New York forces me to pull back."
"And not the fact that I have a boyfriend?"
"I'm not so sure he exists." He gave me a knowing look.
"Oh, he's exists all right." I glanced down at my hands. "He's an asshole and a half."
"Get rid of him. You can do better. I promise."
I wanted to believe him, and sitting across the table from him, I had some insane sense of false hope inside me that he would by my 'doing better’, but it was a pipe dream. A woman hadn't passed us that hadn't eye-fucked him ten ways to Sunday, and I couldn't blame any of them. I was doing it every time I got a chance too.
"I don't need to anymore. He got rid of me today." Tears burned my eyes more from embarrassment than from losing Cameron. I should have lied and let the night keep going the way it was, but it felt too wrong to keep up the facade. Besides, it was better to let Kendal know that I wasn't really worthy of whatever the hell he was up to. At least Cameron didn't think I was. I wasn't so sure where I stood on the matter anymore.
"Hey," he whispered and reached across the table to wipe one of my tears with the back of his fingers. "He's a fucking idiot and this is his loss."
"Maybe." I shrugged and picked up my beer. "I'm okay. Seriously."
"You like to dance?"
"What? No." I glanced out toward the dance floor to see three people on it. It was an Italian restaurant. People didn't dance in the middle of a-