Letting Go

by Kennedy, Sloane

  She fell silent and held his gaze for another long moment before turning her attention back to the entranced women. “So how is it that you actually met?” one of them asked.

  Devlin spoke before she could respond. “She had been wrong in thinking that I had eyes only for my work because I noticed her from the first moment I saw her. I waited until she was done and as she was packing up her things, I went up to her and informed her that because of her I had missed a meeting with an important French Diplomat and asked her how she intended to make it up to me.”

  “And what happened?” asked the older woman.

  “She slapped me and left.” Everyone chuckled. “I saw her again a week later at the same café. She bought me a cup of coffee as an apology and as a thank you because she got an A on her drawing.”

  As the other couples smiled approvingly and returned their attention to each other, Casey and Devlin stared at each other for a long time. She finally broke the contact and tried to focus on her place setting. Devlin didn’t miss the brief nervous jitter of her hand as she took a sip from the water glass. Maybe his Casey was still in there somewhere after all.

  ***

  Within half an hour, the dinner was served. Madelyn Cragen and her equally portly husband, Howard, arrived and noisily seated themselves at the table. Madelyn’s incessant chatter kept Casey from having to contribute and she used the opportunity to study Devlin in his normal surroundings. He was a born conversationalist. His commanding, authoritative tone implied that he usually won an argument but he also allowed others to interject and even conceded defeat on rare occasions. The respect he had earned made him a powerful man in his world – she could see that from the numerous people she had been introduced to and the titles they held. A few politicians, numerous heads of businesses that even she recognized and even a distant relation to England’s royal family all treated Devlin as if he was their best friend. Of course, Devlin took it all in stride, but she didn’t miss the lack of warmth in his voice. She sensed that it was just business, no more. It made her wonder if he had any true friends.

  She heard a chair scrape and saw the man who had been introduced as Devlin’s CEO get up. “Miss Wilkes, would you care to dance?” Startled, Casey glanced around her and realized that numerous couples had taken to the dance floor. Even the CEO’s wife had been whisked away at some point. Casey choked on her response. It had never occurred to her that dancing would be a requirement of this nightmare.

  “She’s already promised the first one to me Bob,” Devlin interjected smoothly as he reached out his hand to her and stood. The other man smiled good-naturedly and sat back down and turned his attention to Howard Cragen who was still attacking his dinner. Casey forced herself to take Devlin’s outstretched hand and stand. She allowed him to lead her to the dance floor. He maneuvered them so they ended up on the outskirts of the throng of dancers.

  “I don’t know how to dance,” she said shakily.

  “It’s okay, just follow my lead.” She felt one arm slip around her waist as the hand on the other arm closed around hers. Although the silk gloves she was wearing prevented her from feeling the touch of his skin on hers, it didn’t matter. She felt the bile rise up in her throat anyway.

  Devlin felt her stiffen the instant he touched her and the light trembling of her body didn’t surprise him. He cursed himself for not warning her about the possibility of dancing. Of course, he had expected her to be aloof and remote which would have kept her safe from possible admirers. But then she had gone and turned the charm on full blast. As her trembling increased, Devlin struggled to think of something to distract her.

  “This is your own fault,” he said matter of factly.

  “What’s my fault?” she asked.

  “This, the dancing.”

  “My fault? How is this my fault?”

  Devlin bit back a smile at the sound of irritation in her voice. “All that charm you were giving off back there? What did you think was going to happen?” He tried to make his voice as accusing as possible. It worked.

  “I was just trying to play the part you forced me into.”

  “I don’t recall telling you to play the part of a debutante at her coming out ball,” he quipped. The temper flared in her eyes.

  “I was being polite.”

  “And that story you told! Jesus, what was that all about? Talk about sappy.”

  “Well I didn’t see you offering any explanation for this farce!” At her raised voice, he pointedly glanced at the couples nearby who were staring at her curiously. She promptly lowered her voice and forced a fake smile to her lips. “What would you have had me tell them?”

  Pleased that she was no longer trembling, Devlin decided to take advantage and pulled her closer against him. Her anger kept her from noticing the contact of their bodies. “I don’t know. Maybe that we met on a blind date or something.”

  “Yeah, a blind date. I’m sure your friends would believe that someone like you is so hard pressed to find a woman that he has to rely on someone else to set him up.”

  “I never said I was hard pressed to find a woman. And I certainly wouldn’t rely on any of these people to help me find my soulmate.” She shook her head. “What?” he asked.

  “Soulmate?”

  “Sure, why not?”

  “Never mind,” she said.

  “You don’t believe in soulmates?” he challenged.

  “I don’t believe in that kind of love.”

  “What kind of love is that?”

  “Unconditional – the kind of love that would cause someone to give their own life for the life of another.”

  “You don’t believe that people can love each other that way?”

  “I don’t believe men and women can love each other that way. Some parents may love their children like that but that’s it.”

  “Like Amanda?” he asked gently. He felt her tense momentarily but then she relaxed and nodded.

  “Yeah, like Amanda.” She fell silent for a moment before giving him a curious glance. “Did you love your wife?”

  He hadn’t expected the question but surprisingly, it didn’t bother him to have her ask it. “I think I loved her in the only way I knew how to at the time.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She was so innocent and fresh. Her life was very sheltered and her parents pampered her to the point that she couldn’t really even think for herself. But she knew she wanted something more than that – she just didn’t know what it was. I think that’s why she married me.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “My parents each worked two jobs each just to scrape up enough money to get by. I started sweeping floors at the canning factory that my dad worked at when I was ten and I’ve been working ever since. I went to Harvard on a scholarship and worked nights to make ends meet. Jennifer saw me as someone who had lived life. I think she figured that being with me would open up a new world for her – one where she would have to rely on herself to survive.”

  “But that didn’t happen.”

  “No. When I met her, I knew she was the last part of my plan to make it. I was getting the education and making all the right connections. It was just a matter of time before I made it to the big time. Jennifer was the perfect trophy wife. She’d look great on my arm at business functions, she had a well-connected family and she had been raised in the world that I wanted to live in. I just assumed she wanted to be all those things to me.” He fell quiet as he remembered his own stupidity and blindness. He finally looked back at Casey

  “So, to answer your question, I loved the image of who I thought she was. But the truth is that I really never even knew her. I was in love with someone who only existed in my head. I was a stupid kid who didn’t know the first thing about real love.”

  “And now you do?” At his nod, she eyed him suspiciously. “How do you know?”

  “My parents. You only have to look at them together once to know what real love is.” He left it at that.
Several seconds passed before Devlin slowed the dance and then stopped completely. It was then that Casey noticed the music had ended. To her shock, she found herself pressed tightly against Devlin’s broad chest, his strong arm secure against her back. She felt the familiar roll of her stomach and pulled away from him. He reluctantly released her.

  “Um, I think I should go to the ladies room,” she murmured as she hurried away from him. As she forced her way through the crowd, another dance started. Casey managed to escape the room and hurried into the elegant restroom which was blessedly empty. She sank down on the settee and tried to slow her breathing. Mixed emotions went through her as she realized how long and how close Devlin had held her. He had purposely distracted her by provoking her temper and then engaged her in an intriguing conversation so that she wouldn’t notice their contact. Casey waited for the belated feeling of disgust to come but it didn’t. She’d felt it at the beginning of the dance and she’d felt it at the end but the middle had been something else altogether. Shock went through her as she realized what it was. She had enjoyed listening to him. The sound of his voice, the warmth in his eyes, the softness in his tone, they had all called to some deep part inside of her that didn’t make sense to her. He’d made her believe that he’d needed her to listen.

  Casey stood up and went to the mirror and ripped off her gloves. She ran a cotton towel under the cold water and pressed it carefully to her face. Devlin Prescott was turning her inside out. Every time she thought she had him figured out, he did something to shatter her illusions. The cold-hearted father had now become a doting parent. The evil businessman had turned into someone who, instead of allowing her to endure a humiliating, physically painful dance with a complete stranger, had managed to gently provoke and cajole her in a way that she would forget her discomfort and just enjoy his company for a few brief moments.

  Casey lowered the cloth and stared in the mirror. Her makeup was still flawless and the hairdo that Julia had so artfully arranged was still intact. Casey stared at the reflection for a long time but couldn’t find any part of the image that stared back that was hers. The woman across from her was a stranger. She didn’t even have a scar on her face. Her heart constricted painfully. The woman across from her was someone who appeared to belong with Devlin Prescott and his charming son and beautiful daughter to be. She was a woman who could control any situation thrown at her with grace and poise. Other women were envious of her beauty while men gave her admiring glances but were mindful of the powerful man whose arm she held. And it was all a lie.

  But when Casey looked closer, she did finally see something familiar. The eyes. The skillfully applied makeup couldn’t hide what was there…or actually, what wasn’t there. Yes, the woman in the mirror was everything the dress and makeup implied she should be but it was the eyes that would ultimately tell the truth if someone looked closely enough.

  ***

  After Casey’s swift departure, Devlin returned to the table. Within moments, a woman appeared at his side. Assuming it was Casey, he swung around at the soft touch on his shoulder but was disappointed to see a striking woman in her early thirties.

  “Ingrid, what a nice surprise,” he managed to get out as he stood to take her hand in his.

  “However did Madelyn manage it?” she asked, her green eyes dancing mischievously. Devlin released her hand and motioned to the chair.

  “Would you like to sit?”

  Ingrid shook her mane of platinum blonde hair. “I prefer to dance.” Before he had a chance to decline, she was leading him to the dance floor. She pressed herself into his arms with familiarity. “How long has it been now Devlin? Five years? Six?”

  Irritation went through him in waves but the casual smile remained plastered on his face. “How’s Richard?”

  “Fine. He’s in London till the end of next week,” she offered, a hint of suggestion in her voice.

  Devlin ignored it and shook his head, “Ingrid Wells attending a social function by herself? I don’t believe it.” Devlin glanced around the room. His eyes settled on a young man in his early twenties who was staring daggers at them. “And there he is. Pool boy? Gardner?”

  Ingrid glanced at her date and then back at Devlin. She stretched her thin arms around Devlin’s neck and pressed her body closer to him. “He’s anything I want him to be.”

  Devlin felt her fingers stroke his neck just above the collar. Ignoring the annoying contact, Devlin glanced back at the table to see if Casey had returned but her chair was still empty. Ingrid followed his gaze.

  “Maybe it was past her bedtime,” she mused but there was no humor in her voice. “Who is she?”

  “A friend.”

  “I’m sure. I recall what being friends with you meant.”

  Devlin kept his body relaxed even though he wanted to get as far away from this woman as he could. “Your friendship had a steep price Ingrid. I just couldn’t afford you anymore.”

  The barb hit its mark. He felt her tense and saw fury darken her beautiful eyes for just a moment. “You always were a son of a bitch Devlin.”

  Devlin laughed at the defeat in her voice. Casey would have lit into him ten times over by now. He glanced again at the table but she still hadn’t returned. Worry started to gnaw at him.

  ***

  Casey left the bathroom and halfheartedly returned to the ballroom. She stopped at the entrance to the grand room and took a deep breath. Her eyes went to the table but Devlin wasn’t there. Several seconds of searching found him in the arms of a woman on the dance floor. Refined and elegant, the woman was magnificent. Her pale blond hair danced under the bright lights of the room and the slinky black dress she wore clung to every curve. Casey watched as the woman twined her arms around Devlin’s neck as he pulled her closer to him. A sick feeling rolled in the pit of her stomach at the sight. Not ten minutes earlier, she had been struggling with the profound effect the dance with him had had on her. And now, he stood before her in the arms of a woman of incomparable beauty and grace and the look on his face hinted that there was more going on than a mere dance.

  Feeling like a fool, Casey turned and left the ballroom. Cursing herself for her stupidity, she wandered down the length of the lobby and then followed a set of rich, red-carpeted stairs up one flight. She found herself at the entrance of a room considerably smaller than the ballroom. A gold, foil engraved sign above the room indicated that it was called The Gold Salon. Peeking past the open door, she sucked in her breath at the sight of the room. A huge chandelier hung from the ceiling and several richly embroidered settees and armchairs were placed strategically around the room. But it was the paintings on the wall that drew her attention. The room was like a tiny art museum. Entering the empty room, Casey walked slowly around the edge of it, her eyes absorbing all the rich colors and images of each magnificent piece of art. Various marble statues were placed along the wall’s edge and numerous flower arrangements were on each available tabletop. Jonas would be in heaven here she thought.

  Completely distracted, she didn’t realize that she was no longer alone until she heard a man’s voice softly say, “Lovely.” She went still at the familiar tone and slowly turned around. Blocking the only way out of the room was her stepfather. “Absolutely lovely,” he remarked again as his eyes slowly traveled the length of her body. Dressed in a tux with a red rose pinned to his lapel, he looked more intimidating now then he had five years before. “It’s been too long,” Elliot said softly as he moved closer towards her. She didn’t move as he slowly walked around her, his eyes taking in every detail of her body.

  Casey saw the now empty doorway but couldn’t force her body to react. He’d always had that effect on her. Her mind screamed at her to run but her body was no longer responding to any of the commands her brain was sending out. Elliot came up behind her and inhaled the scent of her hair. Casey closed her eyes and struggled for control. She wasn’t a helpless child anymore. He couldn’t control her with his threats of retribution. With that thought in m
ind, Casey took a step away from him and towards the door. His hand closed around her upper arm instantly.

  “My little Casey,” he said as his free arm snaked around her waist from behind and dragged her back against his chest.

  Fear mingled with fury as she forced her voice to remain calm. “Let me go.”

  As if he hadn’t heard her, Elliot ran the hand he’d been holding her arm with down the upper part of her thigh. The hand across her stomach drifted up towards her breast. Allowing him to believe she was giving in to him, Casey waited for several long seconds until she felt him relax his grip on her waist. The second he did, she slammed her elbow into his stomach. His rush of breath blew across her neck as he dropped his arms. This time, Casey didn’t hesitate. She’d nearly reached the door before he was on her again. The pretense was over.

  Elliot snared her wrist in a brutal hold and pulled her away from the door. Caught off balance, she was unable to get out of the room before he slammed the door closed and locked it. He shoved her back against the wooden door but was again caught off guard when she spit in his face. Backhanding her twice, he smiled as the fight momentarily left her.

  “That’s what I always missed about you Casey. You were always the fighter. Let’s hope Isabel takes more after you than her mother.”

  Disoriented and with one eye already swelling shut, Casey swallowed the small amount of blood in her mouth and managed to utter, “You’ll never get her.”

  “What makes you think I haven’t had her already?” His fingers drifted over her throat.

  Casey shook her head and gave him a knowing smile. “You may be a coward Elliot, but you aren’t stupid enough to touch Isabel while she’s under Devlin Prescott’s roof. She’d run straight to him and we both know what he’d do to you.”