Whispers in the Dark

by Pam Jernigan

  There was a word… nightmare. That was it.

  He didn’t know what to do. He lay back down, but the fear continued, strengthening. Karen shifted and whimpered, and the sounds tore at his heart. He sat back up, reaching a tentative hand across the sheets to touch her arm, trying to project reassurance. She settled down, some, but still seemed unhappy. She rolled over, away from him, and the fear started creeping back.

  She was just out of reach. He tried to absorb her fear from a distance, but it didn’t really work, not without direct, close contact. His fingers stretched out a little further over the scratchy blanket. It didn’t help.

  “No…” she moaned softly, and he couldn’t stand it. Trying not to jostle her, he got up on the bed, lying right on the edge - close enough to touch her, but not too close. Further away from her than he’d been the other night, hiding her from the guards.

  She’d been specific about him sleeping on the floor. He wanted to respect that, but her distress was pulling him like a magnet. He reached for her arm again.

  Her head tossed, her face pinched and unhappy in the dim light. “No,” she repeated, a little clearer now. “Leo…”

  He froze, then pulled his hand back. She was having a nightmare… about him? What did she think he was doing to her? He wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear.

  But… she needed him. He could fix this, and he needed to, especially if it was his fault.

  She hadn’t been scared of him when awake; he would have known. Why had that changed? He didn’t understand, but that wasn’t surprising. There were many things that he didn’t understand. Never mind. Just help Karen.

  He reached for her again, getting a light grip on her forearm, below the elbow. Her fear came through much stronger this way, and he concentrated on absorbing it, relieving her of it. It tried to affect him, scare him, but he refused to give in. If Karen could control her emotions, so much stronger than his, surely he could do the same.

  After a moment she sighed and resettled herself, fading back into sleep. He released her arm reluctantly, his eyes tracing the curves of her face in the dimness. No, he had to leave.

  He hadn’t even made it off the mattress before her fear returned. He couldn’t leave her yet. He settled himself a little closer, lying on his side, reaching his right hand out to rest lightly on her upper arm. Her unhappy noises subsided, her emotions shading from anxiety into… something less. Confusion, maybe.

  She rolled towards him, right on top of his arm, surprising him. She was much closer now, looking beautiful as she slept. Karen squirmed, blinking open bleary eyes. “Leo?” she whispered.

  “It’s okay,” he whispered back. “You’re safe.”

  She made a happy little noise, her eyes falling shut again. And then she rolled even further towards him. He lay down on his back to accommodate her and she ended up half on top of him.

  He froze, barely breathing, not wanting to move a muscle. This… the weight of her head, relaxed against him, the touch of her hand on his chest… it dazzled him, scattering his thoughts and fueling his dreams. His right arm was trapped beneath her, and he carefully worked it free. Drawing it around her shoulder to pull her closer was not a conscious decision, he didn’t think, but she hummed contentedly and snuggled closer, so he kept it there.

  He should extract himself. He should distance himself; holding hands was more than he should have ever dared to do with her. But she was sleeping now, sleeping peacefully, her breath soft and even. He couldn’t quite make himself disturb her.

  If she wanted to use him as a pillow, he would let her. He was grateful for the opportunity to help, honored to guard her sleep. He wanted to be everything she needed, to watch over her and take care of her always.

  He turned his head to rest his cheek against her head, pulling her a tiny bit closer. Trying to memorize every moment. The warmth of her body, the soft curves, her hair brushing his neck… He decided to enjoy it while it lasted. She’d roll away sooner or later, and then he would retreat to the floor, where he belonged. Until then… he would savor the experience of having her warm and relaxed in his arms.

  Her trust in him was astonishing. Impossible as it seemed, even when asleep, she trusted him. Considering the matter, slowly and as thoroughly as he was capable, he resolved to never, ever give her reason to regret that.

  She hadn’t rolled away yet. He couldn’t see much of her, and the ceiling was lost in the darkness above him. No reason not to close his eyes…

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Karen woke slowly. She heard the muffled tapping of rain against a window. Lovely, she thought muzzily. A rainy day; the kids won’t be able to play outdoors and they’ll be whiny. Her alarm hadn’t gone off, though, so she didn’t have to face the little monsters yet. She rolled over.

  Or tried to. As she moved she became aware of something on her middle section, and her eyes popped open. The room was unfamiliar, and her adventure came flooding back to her consciousness. She looked down to see a sweatshirt-encased arm lying across the blanket covering her, and she froze. There was a warm weight behind her as well. Holy crap, she was… he was… they were… her brain finally stuttered into gear, and she moved, sliding away from him. She escaped the bedcovers entirely before turning around to confront Leo, her back to the wall. The door was on the other side of the room, so she'd have to go past him... Get it together, Karen; he’s your friend. This isn’t terrifying. Just awkward.

  His eyes blinked open, and he looked puzzled for a moment before his eyes widened. He looked around, saw her standing there, and nearly fell off the edge of the bed, trying to put more distance between them. He found his feet, turned to face her, and then just stared, dismayed.

  “Leo,” she said with forced patience, “What were you doing?”

  “I’m sorry,” he said, more quickly than normal. “Didn’t mean to… Don’t be scared,” he almost begged, eyes wide and pleading. “Please. I’m sorry,” he said again, a little louder.

  She watched him, and shivered, now that she was out from under the blankets, missing the warmth. She glanced at the bedcovers, wildly disordered following two hasty exits. Looking around, she spotted her jacket, and shrugged into it, crossing her arms tightly in front of her. Leo, meanwhile, was standing there, practically broadcasting panicky remorse, and the anxious expression on his face said more clearly than words that he hadn’t been trying to do… anything. “What was that about?” she asked, gesturing towards the bed.

  “You had… a nightmare,” he said, looking down, his voice soft.

  That sounded vaguely familiar. She frowned, trying to pull up the details. She’d been trapped back at the camp - they both had been, and Borsa was chasing her with a needle. And then somehow Pip’s truck had appeared, gunning straight at Leo. She had been frantic… but then he’d been there, holding her, and the camp had faded away. His embrace had felt so comforting.

  Apparently for that last part she hadn’t been dreaming.

  “Tried to help. Was going to leave,” he added, “but…”

  “You fell asleep,” she supplied.

  He nodded, looking wretched, not meeting her eyes.

  Her heart rate was settling back into its normal range, now, as she came all the way awake. “Okay,” she said, finally. “Let’s go downstairs. We can talk over breakfast.”

  He nodded again, eagerly, and bolted from the room, leaving her there by herself. She took a deep breath, then another one, trembling as the adrenaline faded. She hugged herself tighter, then opened her arms, stretching a little. Everything’s fine. You kind of accidentally slept with a zombie, that’s all. No drama. What are you going to do for an encore?

  Bottom line… if she trusted Leo, which she did, then there had to be a good explanation for him climbing into bed with her. If it hadn’t been to attack her, which it clearly hadn’t, then why? This should be an interesting conversation.

  #

  Leo paced around the living room, una
ble to concentrate. Holding her had been the best thing in his entire existence, but how could he have let himself fall asleep? This might ruin everything. She might be afraid. She might be angry. Either way, she would want him to leave, but how could he? He couldn’t leave her alone, unprotected.

  She hadn’t seemed scared of him, exactly, although he wasn’t sure he trusted his ability to read her. She hadn’t yelled. At the moment, it felt like she had things under control, a quiet mix of muddled feelings.

  He wondered, again, what her nightmare had been about. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know. The idea of anyone harming Karen was bad enough, but if she thought he would be the one hurting her… Maybe he should just leave. Except she wouldn't be safe, and he couldn’t abandon her. What if she told him to leave? He had to protect her. Somehow.

  Leo turned to head back towards the stairs and then stopped. Karen stood at the top.

  “Hey,” she said, waving a friendly hello as she descended. “Chill out, okay?”

  What does that mean?

  She smiled a little. “That means, relax, Leo. It’s okay. I’m not mad, I’m not scared. I got a little freaked out for a second there, but… well, I’m not used to waking up next to somebody. That’s all.”

  “You… sure?”

  “Yeah,” she nodded, stepping a little closer, looking up into his eyes. “I’ve got a lot of questions for you, but they’ll wait. Right now, I want breakfast.” She walked past him towards the kitchen.

  After a moment, he jolted into action and followed her. She wasn’t afraid. She didn’t want him to leave.

  He would happily answer all the questions she wanted to ask. Or try, anyway. Even if she didn’t like the answers. He’d have to explain things, about his need for emotion. Which meant talking about the way the Mindless went hunting for it. The way that he’d gotten it, in the past. He didn’t want to expose his shame, but he would if she asked.

  Because if she was asking questions that meant she was still here. With him.

  #

  Karen stared out the window as she finished her breakfast. Cold cereal, somewhat stale, and of course no milk - but she hadn’t had this brand in years and she was enjoying it. She’d carefully inspected the box for mouse nibbles, but it had been clean. Enough. The rain was coming down steadily, and the sky was a leaden gray. “I don’t know about you, Leo, but I’m not in a hurry to go walking in that.”

  He glanced out the window and shrugged.

  “My thoughts exactly,” Karen said, thinking again of the way she’d woken up. Really, all things considered, she’d reacted pretty well. He’d been more freaked out than she had. Looked at in a certain light, it was almost funny.

  Leo stayed wordless, looking down most of the time, shoulders hunched. Resigned, she decided. Like he was anticipating a punishment that he thought he fully deserved.

  She bit her thumb, thinking. “Hey, it’s okay, Leo. About this morning, I mean.” He shrugged, very slightly, not meeting her eyes. “Nothing bad happened.” Okay, that isn’t working. Let’s try this a different way…

  “Anyway. Looks like we’re stuck here until the rain lets up. So… let’s play some more Go Fish.”

  That startled him into glancing up at her.

  “There are a couple of other games I think you could pick up, too, but we’ll start with what you know.” She shoved her empty bowl to the other end of the table and reached for the pack of cards. “Come on, I want to see if you’ve forgotten how to play.” The test would be interesting, but mostly she wanted him to stop making her feel guilty. “And no losing on purpose, either,” she added, just in case. “I’ll think I’m a bad teacher if you can’t win sometimes.”

  Karen shuffled and dealt, and as they played, he lost the hangdog air and sat up straighter. Once he was back to normal, she decided it was question time. “So…” She kept her tone even, looking at her cards. “About last night, I’m curious… how did you know I was having a nightmare?”

  He studied his cards. She thought he might not answer, but finally he said, “Felt it.”

  “Have any kings?” she asked, showing him one as an example, then casually added, “Felt it? How’s that work?”

  He pulled out a card and handed it to her, meeting her eyes for a second. “Don’t know. We can… tell what you’re feeling.”

  She tucked the king into her hand and looked for another card to request. “Huh. How far away?”

  “Faint at a distance,” he said. “Don’t know distance.”

  “So, if I went upstairs right now and thought angry thoughts, you’d know?” That was kind of alarming, but she was determined to remain chill about this. No freaking out now. Maybe later.

  He nodded, watching her cautiously.

  “Okay. So, when you said the others could sense fear, that was literal? And…” she pulled out a card to show him, “Give me all your twos.”

  Leo slowly shook his head. “Go… Fish.”

  She smiled and drew a card from the deck. “Okay, your turn.”

  He carefully extracted one card from his hand and turned it around.

  “Fours, huh? I just got one of those.” She handed it over, smiling. “You sure you don’t read minds?”

  He nodded. “Mindless,” he reminded her, with a tiny smile.

  She laughed, enjoying his attempt to tease. “Right, I forgot. You don’t have thoughts, just feelings.”

  “No,” he started, then seemed to get stuck, staring at his cards.

  Well, that cried out for an explanation, but she’d rather not ask for one right now; she suspected that extra pressure would only make things more difficult. “Pick another card,” she prompted, her voice neutral, and that seemed to get him moving again.

  He showed her an eight. “We don’t have feelings. Not on our own. Need them,” he said, his voice getting slower and softer as he spoke. “Starving for them. Have to… go get some. From humans.”

  “And that’s why you kill people?” Her voice went a little higher than she’d planned on that; she couldn’t tell if she was fascinated or creeped out. Leo probably couldn’t tell either, then. Good.

  He looked at her and nodded, guilt clear in his eyes. “Fear… is strong. Dying fear… is stronger. Fills us up. Not for long. Need more.”

  Okay, definitely creeped out now. “Holy crap. That’s gotta be how you track us, too.” Okay, Karen, no freaking out, remember? Analyze this. Detach yourself. She took several deep breaths until her stomach settled down a little bit. “So… at the library… you felt my fear? And so did the other guy, Jamal. Only you, like, hugged me, and I wasn’t scared anymore. How did that happen?” Her eyes widened as some more pieces fell into place. “You’ve done it since then, too. Calmed me down.” She stared at him, indignant. “What the hell did you do, Leo?”

  He was shrinking back in his chair a little now, his cards lying forgotten on the table. “Don’t know how… to explain,” he mumbled.

  And her having a snit-fit did not help, obviously. She closed her eyes for a moment, tamping down the irritation, and focused on breathing for a few moments. Got to be patient. Just like when the kids in her class drove her nuts. The thought helped her, grounded her. I’ve had lots of practice at this. Little monsters… big monsters… I got this; I’m good at this. Suddenly, it was funny, and she grinned, opening her eyes.

  Leo was staring at her, fascinated.

  “I was thinking about the kids I teach. I can’t let myself be mad around them.” She shrugged. “So I find a way to make it funny, in my head, and then I’m not ticked off anymore.” She leaned forward, studying him. “So how do you make me not be mad? Seriously, that’s kinda cool.”

  He seemed a little doubtful, still, looking down at the table, but started talking anyway. “Not sure… I can feel what you feel, and… take it… into me.” He peeked up at her anxiously. “Away from you.”

  He looks so adorable when he does that. Karen swatted that thought away. Focu
s, please. “Sort of like a pressure release valve. So, when I was having that nightmare, you, ah… took my fear away?”

  He looked up all the way now, showing a little more confidence. “Yeah. Couldn’t do it… from the floor.”

  “Oh, so the, um, emotional vacuum cleaner - that has a more limited range?” That made her feel better. Safer. More in control.

  He nodded. “Have to touch.”

  She thought back over the last couple of days. “Yeah, like when you held my hand the other night, right? And all the Mindless were going nuts - because of how ticked I was?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay, well - in general, going forward, don’t do that, okay? I can handle my own emotions.” And she was going to want to test the limits on this at some point. She looked across the table at him. Was he starving? She hated to think of him dealing with that kind of hunger. “I haven’t been scared, or not much, for days. How are you doing, without, you know?”

  “Fine,” he said quickly. “Full. You have… many feelings.” He almost smiled. “Just being around you is enough.”

  “Right. Okay.” A phrase from one of her books popped into her head. “You know, they’re right; you guys aren’t zombies.” She grinned and pointed at him. “You, my friend, are a psychic vampire.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Leo just stared at her. He wasn’t sure what she meant, but he didn’t care. Karen had called him her friend. And she was happy, which meant he was happy. He hadn’t ruined everything. He finally allowed himself to relax.

  “Sucking out emotions, instead of blood?” she prompted. Then she rolled her eyes, looking at him knowingly. “You haven’t got the faintest clue what a vampire is, do you? Well,” she hesitated, then shook her head. “Never mind. It’s not important. Silly metaphor anyway, so, yeah… forget I said anything.” She picked up her cards and put them back down. “You know what I want to do?”

  He shrugged.

  “I’ve never known anybody with superpowers before,” she said, as if that explained something. “I want to test out these mystical mind-powers of yours. Or, well, Mindless powers.”