Autobiography of Mark Twain

by Mark Twain

  8. My fondness for experiments and innovations is really above the average, I believe. My mother was like that; my sister, who was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before; my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away. Yes, I think the closing clause of No. 8 is correct. But the rest of the paragraph contains errors, particularly the part about political and financial leadership. No kind of leadership could ever be in my line. It would curtail my freedom; also it would make me work when I did not want to work. My nature would fret and complain and rebel, and I should fail.

  10. Last sentence. No one ever said a truer thing. Up to the age of seven I was at the point of death nearly all the time, yet could never make it. It made the family tired. Particularly my father, who was of a fine and sensitive nature, and it was difficult for him to bear up under disappointments. In the next eight years—I am speaking the truth, I give you my word of honor—I was within one gasp of drowning nine different times, and in addition was thrice brought to the verge of death by doctors and disease; yet it was all of no use, nothing could avail, it was just one reverse after another, and here I am to this day. With every hope long ago blighted. Are these the reverses that stand written in my hand? I know of no others, of that early time.

  13. First sentence. Seems so, from the revelations which I have just made. But how does he find it out from the flat print of my hand? It is very curious. I have seldom been sick since I was fifteen; I am sixty-nine now. Third sentence: the inheritance is from my mother’s side. She was a Lampton. No Lampton ever died prematurely, except by courtesy of the sheriff.

  Reading by Mr. Fletcher.

  1. This is a hand of strong and marked personality; one in which many phases of decided ability are depicted, in fact it would be possible to read it from at least three points of view, and find a complete history in each.

  2. The left hand shows many possibilities of a widely varying character, and not all in harmony with each other by any means. The right hand, however, shows that these have been used by mental determination to build up a personality that is full of force and ability, and one that relies absolutely upon itself. In no sense a dependent hand. In no sense a negative hand. Impressionable without question, but these impressions are recognized then selected, and then directed. They rarely, if ever, are the controlling factor. The Ego rules, and directs the abilities, instead of being swayed by the emotions, strong as these are on occasions. It is distinguished by great originality of thought; demonstrates marked powers of concentration, and never gives up what is undertaken no matter how great the opposition. There is, however, considerable irritability evidenced over delay, or the power of others to grasp situations readily, since this mind takes in at a glance the beginning and the end. Details are dealt with as a whole, rather than being patiently considered. There is no doubt about the conclusions being usually correct. The remarkable record for the past 15 years undoubtedly demonstrates that the palms show many plans that are from time to time suggested, but the fingers could never find the time or opportunities to execute one half of them. No one ever opened door for this hand and said “Come in, this is the way, and here is a garden already for you.”

  2. It has found its own door, made its own way, and planted every tree and shrub there is in the garden, and there are a great many. To be sure, at times the sun has shone benignly and the growth has been accordingly rapid, and this will continue to the end.

  3. This is a nervous, energetic, determined hand, with, at times, a charm of personality, or magnetism about it that could compass almost any result. This will continue to the end. It might suffer itself to a great degree, in a quiet way; it would never intentionally cause suffering to others. It is too considerate and humanitarian for that. It will never be satisfied with itself, no matter how great the meed of praise from others may be. The unattained will ever loom up before it, even while others are speaking words of highest commendation.

  4. Its interests will always be of a large and comprehensive character. The tendency is ever to attempt too much for one thought to lead up to another, whereby still greater possibilities will be revealed. It’s a hand while kindly and generous to a fault with others is never overkind or considerate of itself. The life line is long and well defined, showing inherited longevity from one side of the family. Illnesses are few, but with extraordinary power of reaction. The nervous energy is at times tremendous, and rises on occasions to heights that carry all before it.

  5. The head line shows great pride and ambition, and a marked power of concentration of the energies to a given point. There is little pleasure in the victories of yesterday. It’s always the work of the tomorrow that engages this mind. The intellectual qualities are of a high order, the result of years of careful and severe training, yet it is quite possible for this mind to move in a groove, and not be always characterized by the spirit of strict justice.

  6. Again this same line gives strong artistic and refined tendencies, and a tendency also to temporary depression which, however, deters the hand not a jot from the work undertaken.

  7. Opposition, and some times, marked personal antagonism are also much evidenced, but instead of changing the purpose they have for the most part strengthened and intensified it. This hand brooks little interference from anyone, yet respects authority in the true sense of the word.

  8. The heart line shows strong affections and warm sympathies for the few and great fidelity to all obligations. It is ever willing to do more than requested. It holds friendship as one of the most sacred things in the world, although betrayed more than once by friends. The domestic side is not discussed in this reading. This hand ought to be at touch with many people either in public life, or in very close connection with it. It certainly has the power of swaying opinions. The hand is eminently successful, and yet the full measure of its just recognition is before rather than behind it. Its work lives long after its activities.

  9. There is the strong will that goes with this type of hand which in many instances borders upon obstinacy, and simply will not be moved from a purpose. This is especially true when any principle is at stake. It is absolutely protected from danger although not infrequently at touch with it.

  10. A hand that has made, and is destined to continue to make a strong impression upon the public mind and yet remain indifferent to it.

  Paragraph 2. “Relies absolutely upon itself; in no sense a dependent hand, in no sense a negative hand.” Certainly that is definite enough. And notches the edge of the bull’s-eye, too, let us hope; I am not here to discourage compliments. “Distinguished by great originality of thought.” I could not deny the accuracy of that and be honest. “Never gives up what is undertaken, no matter how great the opposition.” That is definite; there is no uncertain ring about it. But it is not true. Indeed, it is very far from being true. I call to mind not an episode in my life indicating in me—on even a single occasion—the presence of an unconquerable persistency. “The remarkable record of the past fifteen years”—very good, that far; stupendously good; to me those years were quite over-remarkable: in worry, in apprehension, in grief, in misfortune piled upon misfortune, disaster upon disaster, the fifteen outdid all the fifty-four that preceded them put together. If the palmist had only stopped at that point! He would have scored handsomely—albeit indefinitely; but when he goes on to explain why the fifteen were remarkable, it is a most sad drop from the impressive to the commonplace, and the result of that indiscreet drop is that the remarkableness of the fifteen entirely disappears. “Many plans suggested—no time or opportunity to execute the half of them;” dear me, it happens to everybody, there is nothing remarkable about it.

  4. “Long life-line; inherited longevity from one side of the family; illnesses are few.” All definite and correct. He and Mr. Niblo are in agreement upon these points.

  8. First sentence. I h
ope it is true; also, I believe it is.

  9. “Will not be moved from a purpose when a principle is at stake.” Perhaps it comes near to being true; still, I think it is a little too sweeping, and a trifle too strong.

  10. “Indifferent?” No, that would be against nature. The man who has made either a good impression or a bad one upon the public mind may be outwardly tranquil about it, but never inwardly indifferent.

  Reading by Mr. Perin.

  1. This is the hand of a good man.

  2. In these very few words I could characterize the tendencies and ambitions of this hand.

  3. By careful examination of the lines and marks I find this person to be between the age of fifty-five and sixty.

  4. The Line of Health shows a fair development of physical strength and his body should never be unduly taxed.

  5. The Line of the Head in the left hand shows a powerful brain, he is a natural genius and an intellectual giant.

  6. This man should have become a Judge.

  7. He is made of the finest clay, is high minded, has a will of steel hardly ever asking or taking advice.

  8. His judgment can be fully relied upon.

  9. The Line of the Heart as well as the Circle of Mercury in the right hand shows him to be extremely tender hearted, at the same time strong in his convictions.

  10. The second phalange of the third finger combined with the Mount of Saturn shows considerable energy, he is self-possessed and his presence of mind is remarkable.

  11. The Line of Respiration on the base of the Mount of Jupiter shows that his lungs demand a liberal supply of oxygen.

  12. The Line of Blood Circulation shows him to have regular heart beats, and a strong and steady pulsation of blood.

  13. The Mount of Luna shows him to be exquisitely moulded, honorable and faithful.

  14. The Circle of Venus shows his love of mankind.

  15. The Line of Intuition in the left hand between the third and little finger shows him to be a great judge of human nature.

  16. There is a very distinctive mark near the Mount of Venus which proves him to be very accurate, he remembers dates perfectly, can judge fairly well of time, while the Mount of Venus proves his love for home.

  17. His Line of Constructiveness shows him to be fond of contriving new ways of doing things.

  18. He is prolific in ideas, he is very skilled to construct sentences in speech or writing.

  19. His Literary Line shows profound ability.

  20. The shape of the third finger shows him to be a forceful and magnetic speaker.

  21. The Line of Sublimity proves his fondness of the sublime in nature, yet he is not moved to enthusiasm by grandeur.

  22. The Line of Muscular temperament shows his moral faculties well balanced, and he shall never need help to keep him in the path of rectitude.

  23. The first phalange of the little finger and the Mount of Mercury proves this man to be a philosopher.

  24. The thumb of the left hand proves love for children and pets, and the Line of Approbativeness shows ambition and that he desires to write his name on the scroll of fame, but that he is not blinded by the glare of popularity.

  25. He is decided and determined, persevering and very firm of purpose.

  26. He is industrious and progressive, and any obstacle only stimulates him to greater action.

  27. The Line of Secretiveness shows him to be very reserved, and the Line of Conscientiousness which is exceedingly well marked in the centre of the left hand shows that he would never swerve from his conception of right, and that he has the habit to sit in judgment upon his own acts and deeds of others, showing little mercy to the wrong doer.

  28. He is a law unto himself.

  29. The Line of Benevolence proves this man to be generous to a fault, and that he has a heart too big for his purse.

  30. Nothing gives him greater pleasure than bestowing.

  31. He is very sympathetic.

  32. The Line of Mirthfulness shows him to be fond of joking, and that he enjoys jokes, and laughs at good ones.

  33. The Line of Causality shows reasoning, thinking, and that he possesses a very comprehensive mind.

  34. The Line of Comparison shows that he can trace the relation between the known and unknown with unerring exactness.

  35. In conclusion I desire to speak of his Line of Faith which proves that he will become at least ninety-five years old.

  36. The lower part of the Line of Faith with the triangle below the Mount of Mercury shows that his past life has been very honorable, that he is a self made man, and that he has been a public servant serving his fellow men with the most beautiful tendencies and convictions.

  37. But, the very best part of his life is yet to come.

  38. He will be called upon and it will be expected of him to perform such deeds that will bring him honor, and his countrymen satisfaction and gratification.

  39. I have absolutely no idea to whom this hand belongs, if the imprint was properly taken I am absolutely convinced that it is the hand of an ideal man.

  (Signed) DR. CARL L. PERIN, PH.D.

  1. “Good man,” large man, little man. Phrases of this kind have no meaning. They furnish no definite measure of the thing mentioned. There was never an average man whom these phrases would not fit. Every average man is good—by comparison with one or another of his neighbors; and large or little, by comparison with undergrowns and overgrowns.

  2. This abolishes No. 1. It exposes the fact that I am not good, but am merely equipped with certain “tendencies and ambitions” in that direction—size of the tendencies and ambitions not specified.

  3. That is the age of my spirit, not of my body.

  4. A little vague. Does it mean that when a person possesses average physical strength his body should never be unduly taxed? If that is it, then it ought to have specified the circumstances under which it should be unduly and recklessly taxed. In case the emergency should arise.

  5. Definite—also accurate.

  6. Definite. But on the whole doubtful, I think.

  7. That about the clay is all right.

  8. Fatally indefinite. Judgment of what—not stated. Apples? literature? weather? whisky? theology? hotels? emperors? oysters? horses? As regards emperors and weather my judgment is better than any other person’s, but as regards all other things I know it to be bad.

  9. The first clause of the sentence is true, but what has the rest of the sentence to do with it? I am tender-hearted notwithstanding I have strong convictions—convictions of what? and why couldn’t I be tender-hearted without having any convictions at all, or any teeth, or real estate? “Convictions” is manifestly the wrong word. It may easily be that I am tender-hearted notwithstanding I am bald-headed, for of course that could mean something, but I don’t think “convictions” means anything, in that place.

  10. I have already remarked upon the emptiness of phrases like “presence of mind” when used in a general and unparticularized way.

  11. Exactly and remarkably true—of everybody’s lungs.

  12. Does it mean that I have a strong pulse? In that case it is an error. I have a sort of a kind of a pulse, it is true, but not every doctor can find it and swear to it. The Marienbad specialist felt around over my breast and back and abdomen and said with quite unnecessary frankness that he could not prove that I hadn’t a heart, but that if I had one it would be an advantage to trade it for a potato.

  13. “Exquisitely moulded.” It is hereditary in the family. Exquisitely moulded and attractive, people often say. Some have thought me the most attractive thing in the universe except that mysterious and wonderful force which draws all matter toward its throne in the sun, the Attraction of Gravitation; others go even further, and think I am that sublime force itself. These commonly speak of me as the Centre of Gravity. Over great stretches of the earth’s surface I am known by no name but that—the Centre of Gravity. It pleases me and makes me happy, but I often feel that it may not be true. God know
s. It is not for me to say.

  15. If this is not a heedless use of words—if human nature is really meant and not character—this is the best guess yet. The nature of man is the one sole thing that I do know, down to the bottom. I know the secretest secrets of man’s heart, I know all its impulses, its deep workings, its shallow workings, its honesties, its sincerities, its conscious shams, its unconscious shams, its innocent self-delusions, its boundless and bottomless vanities. That is to say, I know my own heart perfectly. I have studied it through years and years of eager and consuming interest, and I know it to be the average heart. In other words, I know the machine that is shut up inside of a man, and what it can do; but I can’t tell by the look of the man’s outside what it will do. Some can tell, by a look at the outside, which parts of the hidden machine—the good ones or the evil ones—get the most work to do; these are the observers who are able to read character, these are the people who are able to judge men. I am not of those. I am a pretty poor judge of men by their outsides; I can seldom tell a Butters from an honest man by looking at him. A Countess Massiglia cannot deceive me, it is true, but that is nothing; that species cannot even deceive a detective.