Keep Her Forever

by Maria Jackson

  “I live in the east end, actually.”

  “Oh gosh, that’s the other side of town.”

  I liked how concerned she seemed. “It’s okay. I won’t be there for much longer, so it shouldn’t be an issue.”

  “Moving?”

  “Planning to,” I said. “I don’t have the nicest place, so I’ve been thinking about leaving for a while. Luckily I only have to give a few days’ notice. I figure I’ll get out of there as soon as I find a decent place. I’ve just been slacking on starting my hunt. I have no time, what with work and the dog rescue.”

  “Oh, you don’t work for them?”

  “No, it’s a volunteer thing. A few hours a week.” Working for the rescue would’ve been my dream job, but there was only one paid position, and the CEO showed no sign of retiring anytime soon.

  “Must be nice getting to play with dogs all the time,” Topaz said.

  “I wish! It’s more administrative stuff. Taking calls like yours, connecting dogs to foster parents, interviewing potential owners. We don’t actually keep any dogs on site.”

  “Still, you’re so dedicated.”

  I shrugged off the compliment. “What do you do?”

  “I’m a blogger. I run a fashion blog.”

  “Damn, seriously? Do you have a lot of followers?”

  “A couple of, uh, million.” Topaz’s gaze lingered on my face as if she was evaluating me. Then she nodded to herself. “About your apartment hunt. My roommate actually moved out the other day. I have a spare bedroom, if you’re interested.”

  “Really?” I sat straight up, making Diamond jump.

  I truly needed to get out of my place. And I was interested in anything that meant getting to spend more time with Topaz.

  Then again… being a girl’s roommate was hardly the best way into her heart. The situation would probably get messy. A potential date should come before a spare bedroom I knew nothing about.

  “You could check it out now, if you want,” Topaz said. “I mean, I’m sure you have places to be, but I’m free.”

  Now? Hmm… I definitely wanted to ask her out. We’d only chatted for a few minutes at this point, so the question would be more natural if we talked a bit more first. Fuck it, I’d pretend to be interested in the room so I could keep this conversation going for longer.

  “No, I don’t have anywhere to be,” I said. “I’m still on the clock at the dog rescue, but I can help you get set up with Diamond at your place. It’ll be killing two birds with one stone.”

  “Sounds good,” Topaz said.

  “Let’s put Diamond in my car, and I’ll follow you.”

  I picked up the dog, feeling the weight of her pregnant stomach against my chest. She went along with me without fighting, trusting me easily. When I set her down in my front passenger seat, she let out an excited yip.

  “Yes, cutie. You get to ride shotgun,” I told her.

  As Topaz had said, her place was only a few blocks away. I turned the radio down as I followed her. The streets were getting darker, although that didn’t dissuade Diamond from watching everything go by. Her head was out the window, her tongue lolling into the night. She was probably tasting all the different scents. I would have thought she’d be scared, but she seemed to understand that I was taking her to safety.

  I got out of the car in front of a small house with a tiny front yard. So Topaz had an actual house. I’d expected an apartment. Her blog had to be pretty successful for her to afford that. Having a roommate probably helped a lot with the mortgage, too.

  I’d pretty much always lived in apartments. Working as a hotel clerk wasn’t exactly well-paid, and I hated spending more than the bare minimum on rent. That led to a series of apartments, each crappier than the last. I always moved when I could no longer put up with the shittiness.

  Funnily enough, my love life was much the same. I tended to date the hottest girls I could get, with little regard to their personalities. Naturally enough, we weren’t usually compatible. Things ended when one or the other of us got fed up, generally after a month or two. None of my relationships had ever even become official.

  I’d recently reached my breaking point with a woman I’d seen three or four times over a few weeks. The sex was good, but our personalities didn’t mesh at all. She never even responded when I texted her to cut it off.

  And I was just about reaching my breaking point with my current place. The air conditioning never worked, and the shower pressure worked all too well. I’d had about enough of my neighbors, too. If I never got woken up by a late-night drug deal again, I’d be happy.

  As I carried Diamond up the driveway, I could already tell this was a cut above the kind of place I usually lived in. Several cuts, actually. The house was small but nicely kept, with a manicured front lawn. Even the paving stones outside the door were swept clean, and the screen that kept out the outside world had a glossy sheen.

  Topaz was a step ahead of me, opening the front door. “It’s no mansion, but this is what I have to offer.”

  As I peeked inside, I nearly gasped. This might as well have been a mansion. The floors were white marble, and the walls were painted a calming shade of gray. Abstract paintings hung from the walls, and lush carpeting covered the floors. I looked around in amazement. Every new thing I saw was more gorgeous than the last.

  Diamond ran from the front entrance to the living room in quest of a hiding spot. This new environment had to be scary for her, and Topaz laughed quietly as the pup planted herself under the coffee table. She may not have known much about dogs, but she seemed to sense we should leave her there until she got more comfortable.

  This place was a million times more than I could’ve expected. For a second, I wondered if living here might be worth giving up whatever chance I had at getting in Topaz’s pants. Then I remembered the place was definitely going to be out of my price range.

  “This is incredible,” I told Topaz. “I don’t think I even want to hear what you’re asking for rent.”

  “Well, my last roommate was paying five hundred.”

  “Five? Are you being serious right now?” I’d expected something closer to a thousand.

  “I can go down to four seventy-five, but no lower.”

  “You have to be joking. This place is insane, and you’re practically giving it away.”

  As she realized I hadn’t been trying to bargain, Topaz looked embarrassed. “My last roommate was already a friend of mine before she moved in, so I rented it to her for what she could afford. It worked well for us. I guess I could raise the rent, but I don’t see the need. Besides, you saved me the trouble of putting up an online ad.”

  That definitely worked for me. I was paying five-fifty for my crappy one-bedroom. True, I hadn’t had to share it with anyone, but that hardly made a difference. Topaz would make an amazing roommate. She’d be better as a lover…

  I shook the thought away. I wasn’t going to give up a fantastic place to live for the chance of a brief fling. And a fling was the absolute best-case scenario. None of my relationships lasted longer than a couple months.

  “Can I see the room I’d be staying in?”

  “Of course. Come with me.”

  This was my last chance to back out, because I was falling more in love with this place with every passing second. Unfortunately, the room Topaz showed me was bigger than my entire current apartment

  I looked around in wonder. The house was so small from the outside, and yet here I was in the middle of this luxuriousness. How could I say no?

  “I’ll take it!”

  “Really?” Topaz asked.

  “Absolutely. I’d be crazy not to. There’s absolutely no downside.” At least, not that I was going to tell her. “You’re sure you want me to live with you? Sometimes I sing in the shower.”

  She chuckled, although there was a certain tightness to her face. “If that’s the worst habit you have, I think we’ll do fine. I can tell you’re a good person. Shake on it?”

/>   I held out my hand. Electricity sparked through every part of my body as she took it.

  The house, Topaz, and Diamond made a damned attractive package.

  I just wished Topaz could be more than a roommate.

  THREE—TOPAZ

  After circling around a few times, I found a parking spot outside the vet’s office. It was insanely busy for five o’clock on a Tuesday. It took a little coaxing to get Diamond out of the car, but she came out within a minute.

  Heidi was already in the waiting room. Apparently her outfit from yesterday was the norm, because today’s was even worse—a well-worn Lakers baseball cap with her ponytail pulled through the slot, along with a ratty brown cardigan of the type that should only be worn by middle-aged librarians.

  Her lack of fashion sense did have a positive side. It kept me from thinking about her slate-gray eyes. And her fantastic body. And… Cut that out right now. You’re not like that anymore.

  “Hey!” Heidi said, immediately seizing my hand in a firm shake. “I was about to call and see if you were having some kind of trouble with Diamond.”

  “Not at all. She’s been an absolute angel.” I gestured to the dog as she looked around, probably scoping out a hiding spot in case she needed it. For the moment she was more curious than timid. “I just had trouble finding a parking spot. Thanks for meeting me here, by the way. You didn’t have to.”

  “I wanted to,” Heidi said. “Besides, we still have to hammer out the details of when I’m going to move in. That is, unless you’ve come to your senses and decided to double the price.”

  “Nothing to hammer, and of course I’m not upping the rent. Like I said last night, you’re welcome whenever you’re ready. It’s all up to you and the lease you have now.”

  “I know that’s what you said, but I figured you might change your mind.”

  Diamond took a few steps toward the exam room, and I tugged the leash to draw her back. “No, I can’t think of any reason to do that. Come whenever it works for you.”

  “Topaz, you’re a saint,” Heidi said. “I feel like I’m ripping you off, paying a price like that.”

  “Think of it as trading your dog expertise for a discount on the rent. I’m sure I’m going to need a lot of that expertise.”

  Just then, the vet technician came and took us in to see the vet. Dr. Colwin turned out to be a smiling man in his fifties. After getting Diamond on the table, he took a good look at her. She wasn’t microchipped, so we had no way to find her real family, but it didn’t look like they took very good care of her anyway.

  Before doing an actual examinations, Dr. Colwin told us several times how special Diamond was. “She’s a real sweetheart,” he said. “You two are lucky. It’s rare to see such good temper in a stray dog.”

  “She’s the sweetest,” I said. “She hasn’t given me any trouble at all since she moved in. She just brings joy into my life, and that’s all.”

  “I can imagine,” Dr. Colwin said. “Sit, girl.”

  Diamond gave him a look as if she was trying to remember something, then carefully brought her haunches to the floor. Dr. Colwin held out a treat, and she immediately jumped right back up.

  “She knows at least one command,” the vet said. “I’m guessing she had an owner before, and that she was abandoned.”

  “Can’t have been a very good owner if they didn’t spay her,” Heidi muttered.

  Dr. Colwin pinched his lips together. “Agreed.” He brought his stethoscope to Diamond’s belly. After a moment, he confirmed what Heidi had said last night. “Seems like there’s six of them in here.”

  “About how far along do you think she is?” Heidi asked.

  Good for her. I wouldn’t have even thought to ask that question.

  “I’d say about six weeks,” Dr. Colwin said

  “So she’s got about seven and a half months to go?” I asked.

  Heidi answered before Dr. Colwin could get a word in. “Uh, no. She’s more than halfway through. She’ll give birth in about a month.”

  Oh my gosh. A month was hardly any time at all. Just overnight, Diamond had already transformed my house. She did bark a lot more than my last roommate, but she’d also sat on my lap in front of the TV.

  I was going to have to feed her and take her for walks, too. She’d be a lot of work, truth be told, and there’d only be more when the puppies came. Only a month until my entire living situation completely changed again…

  “So, which of you will be taking care of her?” Dr. Colwin asked.

  “The official foster will be Topaz, but I’m actually going to be moving in with her.” Heidi quickly explained our situation.

  “Oh, how perfect,” Dr. Colwin said. “I’ll explain the next parts to both of you, then, although Heidi, I’m sure it won’t be news to you. Diamond should follow a normal feeding schedule for now—that’s twice a day. She can still eat normal dog food. If you’d like, you can add some green tripe for the digestive enzymes.”

  He went through more information—a lot more. I was glad Heidi was there, because at some point, it became too much to really take in. It felt like I was back in college, listening to an accounting lecture—except that this time, a bunch of puppies were at stake. If Heidi hadn’t been there, I would’ve stressed myself out completely.

  “So, that’s about everything,” he said. “Any questions?”

  “How does it work with the actual birth?” I asked. The cats I’d had growing up were always spayed or neutered. “How do we know when to bring her in? Does her water break? And do we take her here, or is there a special hospital? Oh! Do they have a doggy maternity ward?”

  Both of them stared at me. Dr. Colwin started to answer, but when Heidi jumped in, he quickly let her speak. He seemed to be restraining a laugh.

  “Um, no.” Heidi lifted her baseball cap, allowing her gaze to meet mine. “Dogs don’t go anywhere to give birth. They do it at home… in this case, in your home.”

  Say what? “She’s going to give birth at my place? I have to help her?”

  The terror must have shown on my face, because Heidi quickly asked, “Are you okay with that? You can still back out. We could get her a new foster…”

  “No!” The word burst out of me before I could even think it through. No way was I giving up that dog. I’d manage it. “I won’t have to do it alone, right? You’ll be there.”

  “Absolutely.” Heidi patted me on the back, making unwelcome tingles rush through me. “I’ve done this a few times before. As long as there’s nothing unusual about the pregnancy, I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

  Wow, she was really confident. At least one of us was.

  “Anything else?” Dr. Colwin asked.

  “No,” I told him. “No more questions.” In reality, I had too many to even know where to start. Pregnancy and birth were about a zillion miles out of my comfort zone.

  “If you do have some, you know who to ask.” He gestured to Heidi.

  I looked Heidi up and down, evaluating her again. I still hated her style. The torn jeans she wore had probably come off a clearance rack… about ten years ago. I would’ve liked to take her to the nearest thrift store. We could’ve gone through all the clothes in the store and come up with a cohesive look for her.

  She didn’t even need to wear anything similar to my well-curated classic pieces paired with trendy, eye-catching accessories. I doubted my personal style would look right on her. I just wanted to see her in something a little more… her.

  Regardless of what I could say about the way she presented herself, she was a knowledgeable woman. More than that, she was an all-around decent person. And who knew? Maybe I’d invite her on that shopping spree eventually. Only if she seemed interested.

  As we left the office a few minutes later, Heidi paused in the front lobby. “So, I guess I’ll text you about moving in. I don’t think it’ll be too long from now—maybe a couple days.”

  “Sure, anytime’s fine. You’ve seen there’s no one living i
n that room right now. Whenever you want is fine by me.”

  Being accommodating was easy. I worked from home, so I’d be around whenever she felt like moving. Aside from attending the occasional fashion show in the big city, I tended to be a homebody.

  Why I’d offered her the room in the first place was a bit harder to explain. I’d done it on impulse. I had the space, she needed a place to live… but it was more than that. Something drew me to her, making me want to be around her.

  “You’re a lifesaver,” Heidi breathed.

  “Your place is that bad?”

  “It’s pretty terrible. The air conditioning hasn’t worked once all summer. I could barely breathe in the humidity last August. The stove burners work maybe half the time, and there’s no oven. And the worst part is, I have to go down the street to the laundromat if I want to wash my clothes.”

  “You should move right away. My laundry’s right in the house, and you don’t have to pay for it, either.”

  “Sounds like heaven.” Diamond whined, probably wanting to get back to somewhere familiar and safe. With a few well-placed pats, Heidi quieted her. “I can’t thank you enough. I didn’t think I’d get a place that nice for years and years.”

  “Don’t even mention it. You helped me save Diamond.”

  “True, but… that was nothing.”

  Twirling a finger through my hair, I smiled. “I definitely don’t agree with you. That is one amazing dog, and you know it.”

  “Yeah, fine, that much is true.”

  As I gazed at Heidi, I gulped. She was so pretty, and her gray eyes went right through me. Was I really doing the right thing? Having her move in with me could be… dangerous.

  For years, I’d suppressed this attraction to women—crushed it too far down inside me to be found. I still hoped it’d go away if I refused to acknowledge it. So far, that plan wasn’t working.

  The cravings were somewhat possible to ignore when I wasn’t face-to-face with girls. I had to look at them online all day, but I managed —usually—to focus on their clothes. As long as I kept my mind on the fabric, color, and cut, I could keep it off the soft, feminine bodies underneath.