Keeping Score

by Violet Paige

  I echoed the same words. “Come on. Come on.”

  The ball was snapped. I gripped the edge of my seat. Hawk took three steps backward and then he was pummeled to the ground in a vicious tackle.

  “Oh my God.”

  He bounced up, cursing at the guy who had rushed him.

  It was now second down.

  The time was ticking off the clock and I felt a ravenous desperation in my veins. He had to do this. He had to find a way to get the ball in the end zone.

  Suddenly he had the ball in his hands. Instead of stepping back into his usual drop count, he ran forward and slid to get the first down.

  Air gushed from my lungs. I looked at the jumbo-tron. There were forty-five seconds left and I wasn’t sure I would survive it.

  Hawk looked calm. I saw the intensity in his eyes when the camera zoomed in on his face. He was determined and certain.

  The whistle blew for the play and Hawk handed the ball off to one of the running backs. There were only thirty seconds left when he ran seven yards.

  The Sharks called time out.

  I didn’t know how Hawk handled this. How he was made to shield himself from the pressure. But he did. He was cool and calculated out there. I bit my lip. Honestly, it was hot as hell how he commanded that team. How he led them. How he took control.

  And then somehow I let go of my worries. I knew this man more intimately than the thousands of people in the stadium. I trusted him with my body. My life. This child. I knew the game was in the hands of the man who could deliver.

  I let the calm wash over me as he moved toward the line of scrimmage.

  The ball was snapped. Hawk dropped back and the ball soared over the field. There was laser precision to his aim. It was amazing how he found a receiver in that sea of bodies. But he did. When no one else saw it. He did.

  I clapped wildly when the ball landed in his receiver’s arms in the end zone.

  “Did we win?” Hunter asked, excitedly.

  “Yes!” I jumped up and down. “We did, honey. We sure did.”

  My dad hugged me and Pops dished out high fives to all of us.

  “I knew he could do it.” Hunter grinned. “I knew it.”

  I smiled down at him. “Me too.”

  “What about this one?” Hawk held out a wobbly spruce.

  Hunter and I shook it off. “No, not that one.”

  I pulled the plaid scarf closer to me. It almost made me tingle now every time I wore it. It had a completely different memory in my fashion memory bank.

  It had started to snow lightly around DC.

  Hunter ran ahead of us. “I like this one.” He pointed to a thick Fraser fir.

  “That’s the one?” Hawk asked.

  “I think so.” I touched the needles on the tree. “It’s perfect.”

  Hawk hauled it onto his shoulder as if it weighed the same as a bag of pinecones. Was there anything this man couldn’t do? He had just taken his team to the next round of playoffs and now he was making a little boy’s dreams come true.

  “Let’s get it home.”

  We followed behind him as he carried the tree to the makeshift counter at the tree farm.

  By the time we got the tree into the loft all of us were freezing. The snow had made a blanket on the streets.

  I rushed ahead, clearing a path for the enormous tree in front of the arched window.

  Hawk rested it on the floor, adjusting the tree stand until we all agreed it was straight. He tested it a few times to make sure it wouldn’t fall.

  Hunter stood in awe. “Wow. That’s the biggest tree I’ve ever seen.”

  “It’s yours. You know that, bud?”

  The child circled the tree from one side to the other. “When we put the lights on, I bet they can see it from the White House.”

  Hawk and I laughed. “Not quite, honey.”

  “We need a fire in here,” Hawk offered.

  “And some dinner. No one has eaten.” I started for the kitchen, while Hawk worked on the fireplace.

  Hunter grabbed a box of lights from the plastic tub of decorations I had hauled over from my house.

  I looked out on the living room. At the boys, buried in their own projects. My heart swelled. The tears came easily.

  Hawk looked up. “You ok, baby?”

  I nodded. “Better than I’ve ever been.”

  He left the small flame that had started in the fireplace. He cupped my cheeks with his cold hands. “Good.”

  “I don’t know how all this happened.” I let him wipe one of the tears away with his thumb.

  “I think it started when you wore a pair of shorts that were too damn short.” He grabbed my ass.

  I giggled. “Ok, maybe.”

  How did a backroom bar hookup turn into this? There was more love and family in this loft than I’d ever experienced in my life. It was a Christmas card. A movie set. It was my life with Hawk and Hunter.

  Hunter stuck out his tongue, trying to untangle one of the strands of lights. I laughed harder.

  “Do you see him?”

  Hawk shook his head. “Not right now. All I see is a sexy woman that I can’t wait to spend my night with.”

  My chest seized with lust and love and something I couldn’t explain. I wanted this man in ways I couldn’t explain.

  “After we decorate the tree.” I eyed him.

  “It is a school night isn’t it?” he asked.

  “Yeah. I have to get up early.”

  We were on the other side of the kitchen island. His calloused palm found a sliver of space and slid between my skin and my panties, gripping my bottom roughly. I inhaled sharply.

  “Then I’m taking you to bed early, Jules.”

  I nodded in agreement. As long as he said the word bed, I was never going to say no. Lying skin to skin. His body moving inside mine. His lips taking mine. His hands canvassing me in heat. It was all I could think about.

  “D-dinner,” I stammered. “I have to make dinner.”

  “Right.” He removed his hand, dragging it over my skin torturously. “Hey, bud. Need some help with those lights?”

  He strolled out of the kitchen and I grabbed the island for support.

  Maybe I needed to open a window and let some of the snow inside to cool me off, because from my lips to my core that man had lit me on fire.

  Thirty-Seven

  Kane

  I should have known it would come crashing down. Shit. Why did I think I deserved this? What on earth could have possibly convinced me that happiness was meant for me? I had let my guard down. Way down.

  The instant I heard the phone ring at 6am I knew everything was fucked. Call it living with disappointment. Call it growing up without hope. Call it fucking reality.

  Julie sat up when I answered the phone.

  “Savi, what in the hell are you doing calling me this early?”

  Her voice was urgent. “There’s a problem, Kane.”

  “What kind of problem?”

  The covers fell from Julie’s body as she leaned toward me, gripping my arm.

  “It’s the boy.”

  “What are you talking about?” I was barely awake.

  “Maybe I should just come over there. Actually, I’m on my way over now. Sit tight.” She hung up and I stared at a blank phone.

  If I thought I could hide the dread on my face, I was wrong. Julie looked as panicked as I felt.

  “What’s wrong with Hunter?” she asked.

  I shook her off as I climbed out of bed and searched for some damn pants. There was a pit as big as the Grand Canyon spreading through my belly.

  “Savi’s on her way over. Get dressed.” I closed the bathroom door behind me and took a breath. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I didn’t know what it was, but it wasn’t good. Savi wouldn’t show up on a Monday morning at the crack of dawn otherwise.

  Julie emerged from the bedroom dressed for school. Hunter was still asleep. I wanted it to stay that way until I heard what Savannah had to say.

>   There was a rap on the door and I immediately pulled her inside.

  “What is going on?” My voice bared down on her.

  She unwrapped a scarf and heavy coat, while she shook the snow from her gloves. The city was coated in a blanket of white.

  “Before I tell you, you need to calm down, Kane.”

  Julie walked next to me. “Good morning, Savi. What’s going on?”

  “Hi. It’s not good news I’m afraid. We need to talk.”

  “I’ll make some coffee,” Julie offered.

  I looked up at the Christmas tree, looming over us. It was decorated with colored lights and paper decorations Hunter had spent half the night making. I’d never had anything in my house like it before. I’d never played Christmas carols or laughed so hard.

  And I’d never loved any woman as hard as I did Julie when I took her to bed. It had been on my tongue the entire time. How much I loved her. How much I loved what we had built together. As I grazed her body with my lips it was all I could think about. And when I made her come over and over while it snowed outside I wanted her to know my life was different because of her.

  We had this kid now. We had a tree. We had a family. And it was because of her.

  I glared at Savannah, daring her to mess with it. Daring her to touch my family.

  We sat around the kitchen island while Julie poured everyone a mug of coffee.

  “Hunter is still asleep, but I need to wake him up in thirty minutes to get him ready for school,” she explained to Savannah.

  “I understand, but this couldn’t wait.”

  “Spit it out.”

  “Legal called me before I called you.” She sat on the small stool, gripping her coffee cup. “And it seems like a lot of people saw Hunter and Julie in your family box last night.”

  “So? There’s some kind of problem with that?” I didn’t get it.

  I could tell Savi was selecting the words she wanted to use. She only did that when she had bad news to deliver. Like my contract was in jeopardy, or I had lost another sponsor.

  “A woman saw Hunter at the game. She called the police and reported him as her son.”

  “That’s impossible,” Julie blurted out. “Hunter’s mother died.”

  Savannah looked at each of us. “The woman claims that Hunter was kidnapped from her and that the woman who died was not actually his birth mother.”

  Julie staggered backward and I caught her before she hit the counter. “I’ve got you, baby.”

  “That can’t be.” Her face was white.

  “No, it can’t,” I growled. “She’s lying.”

  “Legal is looking into it, but so far the woman’s story checks out. She had a son who matches Hunter’s description who was reported missing three years ago.”

  “Oh my God.” Julie’s knees buckled and I scooped her to my chest. “No. No.”

  Savannah looked as stricken as we felt. “I have a private investigator on it. And of course the police are now involved. But I wanted to tell you before the lawyers called. I know you two have your hearts in this.”

  “He’s not going anywhere,” I barked. “He belongs here.” There was a fucking Christmas tree with his little cut out hands all over it. No one was taking Hunter out of this home.

  Savannah grimaced. “He might have a birth mother out there who has been looking for him for three years. Kane, I don’t know what the right outcome is here. But Hunter doesn’t need to know anything until we have some proof. You don’t have to tell him.”

  I felt the sob wrack through Julie’s body. I was helpless to do a damn thing about it.

  “We aren’t telling him anything, because it’s not true. He has parents now. Parents who want him. Parents who will do whatever we have to do to keep him. Do you understand me?” I knew Savannah didn’t deserve the brunt of my anger, but she was the messenger and in this case I had to shoot someone.

  She rose from the island. “I’m sorry. Really I am. And I hope we have answers in the next day or two. Just don’t give the police or the attorneys a hard time. It won’t make things any easier.”

  Julie nodded with a sniffle. “We’ll cooperate. Of course we will.”

  Savi touched Julie’s arm. “Call me if you need anything.”

  She walked to the door and gazed up at the tree. “I like it. Not your usual beer can Christmas, huh?” She smiled at me sadly.

  I knew exactly what she was thinking. It was the same thing running through my soul. I finally opened my life to love and look what happened.

  Thirty-Eight

  Julie

  I didn’t know what was happening. I wished at moments like this I could see into the future and see how things were going to play out. What was the right path to take? Were we doing the right thing? I wondered how many parents asked themselves these same questions every day. How many times a day do they ask them?

  “Are you ready, sugar?” Kane asked and I nodded my head, letting him know I am.

  I can’t bear to speak right now. Otherwise I was afraid I would start babbling and crying all at the same time, and honestly no one needs that.

  “Hunter, do you have your backpack? Last week of school before Christmas break.” He grins at the child.

  Hunter nodded, sleepily. We let him stay up way too late last night working on the decorations for the tree.

  I knew he could tell something was going on, but he hadn’t asked yet and I hoped to God he doesn’t on the way to school. If we could just make it to the classroom he would forget that he walked in on me crying and Hawk trying to console me.

  He would focus on his end-of-the-year art project and his spelling test. He wouldn’t realize I was a weeping mess.

  The last thing I wanted to do was make him worry. I would rather die than have this little amazing boy think that the safety he had finally found was suddenly at stake. I refused to let that happen.

  Hawk pulled me toward him at the front door. “I’ve got this, baby. I promise.”

  I looked into his eyes needing those words to be true. But I knew they were only words. He couldn’t promise me something like that. If Hunter’s birth mother was out there, it was our job to reunite them. The problem was that it came at the cost of three broken hearts.

  “Bye, Kane.” Hunter waved.

  “Bye, bud. Have a good day.”

  I couldn’t say anything. I turned, buttoning my coat, braving the snow and took Hunter to school.

  I checked my phone all day. There was no news. Hawk hadn’t heard anything from the investigators except to say that the woman who claimed to be Hunter’s mother did file a missing child’s report three years ago. That alone didn’t encourage me.

  What if this boy had been kidnapped? Did he have memories of it? Was he too young at five to remember another family? I stared at my class while they worked on their social studies assignment.

  They had zero attention span this week. I knew today was probably the last day I’d get any productive work out of them. After this, the rest of the week would be spent watching movies and making crafts.

  And then we had almost three weeks off. Three weeks that had turned into some kind of a fantasy of mine. Spending them with my boys.

  Christmas day Hawk had the most important game of the season. But we were going to be there. After we opened presents and had breakfast we were going to meet my dad at the stadium. And then later when the Sharks won, Daddy was coming over for Christmas dinner. Maybe even Pops.

  I didn’t care that I was completely outnumbered by the men in my life. I had fallen in love with it. With football. With being a new mom. With being Hawk’s.

  And now what? Was Christmas destroyed? Were our lives completely wrecked? Would we be able to survive if this child was ripped away from our home?

  I’d never look at that tree again. A tear started to slide along my cheek, but I quickly wiped it away before the students saw it.

  “Miss Brisow?”

  “Yes?” I looked up with a fake smile.
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  “Can you tell me about the Supreme Court again? I’m stuck on the puzzle.”

  I walked out from behind my desk. “Sure.” It was a small distraction, but I needed it. Needed it as badly as air to breathe. If I didn’t have news from Hawk soon I was worried I wouldn’t make it to the end of the day.

  Hunter and I walked through the front door. The loft was quiet.

  “Hawk?” I called out.

  He was off today. I expected him to be on the couch watching Sports Now.

  I ran to the bedroom. He wasn’t there.

  “Hey, Kane I made a really cool snowman today,” Hunter hollered running up the staircase.

  I dug though my purse until I found my phone. I typed out a text.

  We’re home. Where are you?

  Taking care of it.

  I bit my lip. What in the hell was he talking about?

  Where are you?

  I texted again and waited for some kind of answer that made sense.

  I’ll be home after dinner. Sorry.

  That was the last text I had from him. I stared at the phone when Hunter came bounding down the stairs.

  “Can we make that popcorn strand you told me about?”

  “Sure. Sure we can.” I tossed my phone on the table. “And we can put on a Christmas movie. How does that sound?”

  I made my way to the kitchen and started on the popcorn. I had no idea where Hawk was and I didn’t like the feeling in my stomach one bit. I felt nauseated again, and my head suddenly felt fuzzy. It was too much stress. Too much worry. But I had to power through. For Hunter.

  Thirty-Nine

  Kane

  The woman who sat across from me in the diner kept picking at the stuffing coming out of the booth.

  “Coffee?” I offered.

  She looked over her shoulder at the waitress approaching the table.