Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  Joan touched his face. He remained still, allowing her to caress him, to gather her scattered thoughts. As she relearned his angles, his bluntness, his marks, her memories returned and with it, her concerns.

  “You came back, sir.” He was supposed to escape, to be free, far from harm.

  “I would never leave you.”

  “But--”

  “The cyborgs have taken control of the battle station.” Rage turned his head, pressed a kiss into her palm. “No one will hurt you.”

  He thought her fear was for herself. It wasn’t. She worried about him.

  “I failed to protect you. The pain you must have experienced…” A shudder rocked his form, his skin vibrating against hers.

  He blamed himself. She gazed at her arm, the arm she believed had been broken. There were strips of pink over her skin but no other signs of damage.

  “I passed out when Boyd kicked me in the head, sir.” She touched her forehead. There wasn’t even a bump. Had she imagined the pain or had Rage’s nanocybotics repaired her? “Was it bad?”

  “Yes.” Her cyborg’s gaze slid from hers. He stared to the left, swallowed hard, his throat convulsing. “It was very bad.” His voice was gruff. “You didn’t feel it?”

  “Not much.” She wouldn’t lie to him and say she felt nothing. “There was blood.”

  “I cleaned you.”

  “I’m supposed to serve you, sir, not the other way around.” Joan summoned a smile. “That must have taken quite a few cleaning cloths.”

  “I cleaned you with my tongue.” His eyes blazed. “And it was an honor to serve you.”

  Those were the words she’d left on her message to him. Her face heated. She never expected to see him again, never expected to hold him, to have him inside her. She bent her knees, cradling him between her thighs. Her legs ached.

  “I should--” He pulled away, his cock head skimming along her inner walls.

  “No.” She grabbed him, ignoring the pain. “Stay inside me. I need you.”

  “You need my nanocybotics.” Rage sank into her, the fullness exquisite, right.

  “It’s more than that.” Joan looked up at his harsh face. “I need you, my male.” She cupped his square chin, brushing her thumb over the scar there. “You make me feel safe.”

  His lips twisted. “I allowed you to be harmed.”

  “You couldn’t have protected me.” She didn’t expect him to. He’d been a slave to the Humanoid Alliance, unable to move around freely.

  “You said you’d never touch me without my permission.” Rage’s face grew hard. “I touched you without your permission.”

  “To heal me.” She grazed his lips with her fingertips. “And if I had been conscious, I would have given you permission.”

  “But you didn’t.” He was determined to punish himself. “And I took you. I violated you like the--”

  “Like the?” Joan inhaled sharply. “Like the others. They violated me, didn’t they?”

  He nodded.

  “They were inside me.” A tiny part of her had hoped it hadn’t happened, that the soreness in her pussy and ass were due to other factors. But it had occurred. The males had used her unconscious body for their sexual release.

  “Oh, shit.” She stared at Rage. He was a possessive male, had told her multiple times that no other male would touch her. “You didn’t want to breed with me.” She released him, lowering her arms and legs. “You only did that to save my life.”

  “You were damaged and offline. Only a sick human would want to breed with you in that state. But it was necessary to heal you.”

  Joan’s heart squeezed at his cold words. “I was damaged…because other males violated me. I must have smelled like them, been filled with…” She couldn’t say it. “How can you stand to touch me, to look at me, knowing what they did?” She blinked back tears. “Another female--”

  “There will be no other females for me and no other males for you.” Rage’s black eyebrows lowered. “You were damaged because the human males broke almost every bone in your body. Breeding with you healed you but it also caused you pain.”

  “They violated me, sir.” She didn’t remember any of it, waking cleaned and healed. She could pretend it didn’t occur. He couldn’t. He’d seen the aftermath. “Doesn’t that disgust you?”

  “I had been violated when we first met.” Rage frowned. “Did that disgust you?”

  “No, of course not, sir.” She’d felt outrage for her cyborg, anger that any being would abuse him. “I admired you for what you had been through and I wanted you--”

  “Because I’m your male.” His expression softened. “You’re my female.” He flitted his lips over hers. “I was proud that you’d survived. If you had been weak, you wouldn’t have.”

  “But--”

  “I cleaned you with my tongue.” Rage licked her chin. “Wiping away not only the blood but all of the other fluids also. I’m not mentally deficient, little engineer. I knew where you stocked the cleaning cloths, and, if touching you had revolted me, I would have used them first.”

  He still wanted her, cared for her.

  “I love you, sir,” she blurted.

  Bolts of energy surged in his eyes. “You can’t love me. I left you unprotected, allowing males to hurt you, violate you.”

  “You didn’t know what they would do, sir.”

  “I knew exactly what they planned to do.” His voice was harsh. “Midway through deployment, another cyborg warned us of the impending attack, and I didn’t return to the battle station to stop it.”

  “Oh.” Her trust in Rage wavered for one heartbeat until she remembered the warrior they were discussing. He was a C model cyborg, operating more on instinct than logic. There was zero possibility that he did nothing.

  She revisited his words. He said he didn’t return to the battle station to stop it, not that he didn’t try to return to stop it. “What action did you take when you heard about the attack?”

  “Nothing effective.” He avoided her gaze.

  She was right. Joan lifted her chin. He had done something.

  “I bred with you without your permission.” Rage continued his campaign to dissuade her from loving him.

  “To heal me, sir.” She smiled gently at him. “I require more healing.” She rocked against him, stroking his shaft with her inner walls. “What else?”

  His forehead furrowed. “I plan to kill Commander Lewis slowly, brutally.”

  “Good. I want to watch.” The Commander had planned to kill Rage, had approved the attack on her. “And the others?”

  “They’re already dead.” Her cyborg moved in and out of her, his passion controlled, careful. “You don’t want to watch. He’ll be tortured before he dies.”

  “I’ve seen your deployment footage, sir. I know what you can do.” It would be bloody and grotesque, but she needed to watch.

  His lips flattened.

  “I’ll have my justice.” She wrapped her legs around his waist and gripped his shoulders, reveling in the ripple of muscle under his gray skin. “I can’t take it myself. I’m too weak from the attack.”

  Rage growled. “I wouldn’t allow you near him.” He thrust harder, deeper. “He’ll never hurt you again.”

  Commander Lewis must have been one of the males who had violated her. Joan winced, the idea of him inside her sickening. “Then I expect you to take him apart piece by piece, sir.” She gave him permission to do what she knew he desired. “No mercy.”

  “You mourned the death of a bovine.” Her cyborg eyed her with suspicion.

  “Wanderer was an innocent. Commander Lewis isn’t. He asked the males to use a prolonger on me.” Joan held onto her cyborg warrior. “He wanted me to feel every cut, every broken bone.”

  “You didn’t allow that.” Rage’s eyes glittered.

  “There were five of them. I couldn’t save myself but I could prevent that fate.” She arched into him, brushing her nipples across his chest. “Torture him. Show me what
you’d do to any male who hurt me. I need that reassurance.”

  “You won’t look at me the same way.”

  “I love you for who you are, Rage.” It was a violent universe and she felt safer with a male equipped to deal with that violence. “Never deny your true nature.”

  His reply was a grunt.

  What did that mean? Did he love her? Did he even understand what love was?

  Before they met, she doubted that her cyborg had known any variation of affection. From his recounts, the breeding sessions had been brief and cold. He was born in a laboratory, hadn’t grown up with a mother or a father.

  Yet he was being very careful with her now, tempering his thrusts, bracing most of his weight. He’d returned to her, accepted her despite the attack.

  That gave Joan hope that some planet rotation, far into the future, his affection for her might strengthen into love.

  She undulated under him, caressing his form with her curves, while Rage leisurely fucked her. She appreciated his tenderness. Her recovering body and spirit were unable to take the vigorous poundings of the past.

  Desire wrapped around them. She whispered endearments, encouragement, praise as Rage’s rugged countenance grew more and more craggy. His long black hair framed his skin, accentuating the blue of his eyes. Sweat glistened, caught in the seams of his scars.

  He wasn’t handsome, but he was striking, and hers, and she’d serve him until the end of her lifespan.

  “Rage.” She lifted into his thrusts, straining her aching limbs, seeking to please him and satisfy herself, to push them closer to the edge of pleasure. “Rage.”

  His cock swelled inside her. “Yes, female. Tell the others who has you, who will always have you.” He varied his angle, rubbing against her clit with each drive forward.

  She gasped, bliss radiating from her core, and she dug her fingernails into his shoulders, called his name louder. Could the other cyborgs hear them through the door, through the walls? Her pussy constricted around his shaft. The heat between them escalated.

  She panted, unable to maintain this frenzy for much longer, unwilling to come without his permission. “Rage?”

  “Joan.” He buried himself ball deep and swiveled his hips, grinding against her.

  She broke, screaming, frantically grasping him, her rock in the storm of ecstasy. Her brain splintered. Her pussy clenched down on him.

  He roared her name, pushing deeper. Warmth filled her, followed by more currents of pure, undiluted rapture. It was too much, too—

  Rage covered her lips and thrust his tongue into her mouth, this additional influx of nanocybotics keeping her conscious while increasing her joy. Flesh slid along flesh. She drank in the taste of him, male edged with metal. His chest heaved against hers.

  They kissed until her form became still and her arms dropped to her sides. “That was worth living for.” She smiled sleepily up at him. “Thank you for coming back for me, sir.”

  “Thank you for surviving.” He brushed his nose against hers, this playful gesture from her serious cyborg enchanting her. “I’ll take better care of you going forward, Joan.”

  “Hmmm…I like the sound of that.” She blinked, fighting exhaustion, not wishing to waste a single moment with him.

  “Sleep.” He nuzzled against her cheek.

  “Will you be here when I wake?” Was this a fantastic dream? She flattened her palms against his pecs, the triple beat of his cyborg heart pulsing under her fingertips.

  “I’ll be here, female, and I expect you to serve me then.” The warmth in his eyes belied his brusque words. “We have tasks to complete before we leave.”

  Before we leave. Joan’s smile stretched across her face. He was including her in his plans. “Yes, sir.”

  He wouldn’t leave her, would be there when she woke. Joan closed her eyes and allowed sleep to take her.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Rage gazed down at the beautiful female kneeling in front of him. He’d bred with her while she slept and his nanocybotics had faded the pink lines crisscrossing her face, neck, shoulders, everywhere. Soon, there’d be no reminders on her body of the ordeal she’d survived.

  She hadn’t remembered the worst of it, had retained some of her softness and all of her trust in him. He threaded his fingers through her brown curls, gratitude warming his chest. She still looked at him with the emotion she claimed was love.

  He had no experience with love or affection between males and females. He did know what he found with her was rare and he’d safeguard it, protect her from the humans, from any hostile cyborgs, from the Homeland council if that was needed.

  “Dress,” he ordered.

  Joan stood slowly, swaying slightly. “Should I help you with your body armor first, sir?” Her brown eyes sparkled with gold flecks, her eagerness to please him coiling around his heart, hugging his insides.

  “Did I ask you to help me with my body armor first?” He covered his concern with sternness. She remained weak, hadn’t fully recovered from the attack.

  Her full cheeks pinkened. “No, sir.” She hurried to a wall panel.

  He donned his armor, watching her, bemused, as her fingers flitted from flight suit to flight suit. “You’re to wear the gray one.” She’d look more like one of them. “And remove the patch.” Her allegiance no longer belonged to the Humanoid Alliance.

  “Yes, sir.” She tore the insignia from the garment, her fingers shaking.

  His humor faded. She should stay in their chambers and rest, but his stubborn female wanted to see justice delivered. That earned his begrudging admiration but also increased his concern.

  Ensure there’s a safe viewing area. Rage transmitted to Crash. He’ll try to harm her.

  His female fastened her flight suit, covering her lush curves, then slipped her feet into her sturdy black boots.

  He won’t harm her. We’ve built a wall out of transparent projectile proof material. Other cyborgs want to watch. Gap and I will stand by her side while you dispatch him.

  Rage preferred to be the cyborg protecting her. He couldn’t, not in this case. She counted on him to punish Commander Lewis, had told him not to deny his true nature.

  He’d show her the worst of him.

  “Come here.” His voice was gruff.

  She rushed to his side, her chest rising and falling, her generous breasts straining the confines of the flight suit. Rage brushed her hair back and smoothed her lapels. She was a mess as usual, requiring his care.

  She teetered on the flats of her feet, reached out, held onto him for support. “I’m ready, sir.”

  She wasn’t ready for anything. He scowled. “You’re an obstinate female.” He swung her into his arms, enjoying how her curvaceous body felt against his. “Touch the access panel.” He turned.

  She obeyed him. The door slid open. He stepped with her into the hallway and she inhaled sharply. There was a puddle of blood on the floor. Crimson was smeared over the walls. The scent of violence hung heavily in the air.

  It was mixed with the pungent aroma of human waste. There’d been explosions at the far side of the station, concentrated around the service tunnels. Rage shifted his gaze to his female. He knew who had been responsible for those.

  His female gazed around them, her face white, her bottom lip quivering.

  It was a mistake to allow her to watch. “If this shocks you--”

  “It doesn’t, sir,” she assured him, placing her palms on his armor-covered chest. “It worries me. It’s so close to our chambers and I thought we were safe there.”

  “We were and are.” Assured that it wasn’t the blood that bothered Joan, Rage walked along the hallway, carrying her. “When you’re with me, you’re safe.” When she wasn’t with him, he’d ensure she was protected. “The blood didn’t come from a cyborg.” It was Boyd’s. Gap had made a mess when he tortured and killed the guard.

  Rage planned to make an even bigger mess when he tortured the Commander. The human arranged the attack on Joan, so
ught to draw out her suffering. He tightened his grip on her soft form. The Commander would pay for his actions.

  Cyborgs were stationed at doors along the hallways, equipped with the severed hands of their former masters. As Rage approached, they sent energy pulses along the flesh, temporarily reanimating them, authorizing the access panels.

  Need help with that beautiful cargo, Rage?

  You missed most of the fun. Glad you could finally join us.

  If you don’t have room on your ship, I’d happily transport your female.

  He was surrounded by idiots. Rage ignored their quips.

  His female, unaware of the internal conversations, greeted the cyborgs, asking for their names, issuing compliments on some feature of their design. The males stood straighter, their chests puffed out with pride, their expressions verging on besotted.

  Rage begrudgingly endured the flirting.

  For many males, Joan was the first female they’d seen. She’d already won them over with her attempt to free them, her survival of the attack, and her devotion to him, their number one warrior. Meeting her increased their admiration for her.

  And Joan’s words were a coping mechanism, a way of dealing with her lingering fear. Rage smelled the apprehension on her skin every time they approached a male. The scent burned his nostrils and he had to curb the urge to attack, to eliminate the possible threat. But once she talked with the cyborg, her terror eased, allowing him to think clearer. She needed the flirting. He’d tolerate it.

  Rage strode toward the Commander’s chambers. Crash and Gap waited by the door, the younger cyborg standing behind his larger, older counterpart.

  He frowned. “Why is Gap hiding? Are you planning to shoot me again?”

  “Again?” Joan wiggled in his arms. “Your friend shot you, sir?”

  “I shot him once.” Crash didn’t meet his gaze. “And the setting was on stun. He was about to get himself and you killed.”

  His female looked at him, her eyes wide. “You tried to return to the battle station to rescue me.”

  She was too cunning for Rage’s comfort. “I could have succeeded.”