Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  *****

  Not too long before he should be off work, I run to the hardware store and have a key made. I want him to have it. I’ve no more than gotten in the door when there’s a knock and I find him standing there, his arms open, waiting for me to leap into them, and I do. “God, I missed you,” he moans into my neck.

  “I missed you too.”

  “I brought ribs. Hungry?”

  I grin and wink. “Yes! I have quite an appetite tonight! Wonder why?”

  “Hmmm. Maybe because you got the hell fucked out of you last night?” he snickers.

  “Yeah. I’m guessing that’s it. Come on. Let’s eat and figure this all out.”

  While we sit with our ribs, baked beans, and slaw, Jaz starts. “So last night was, well, I don’t know what to say. It was one of those nights I needed to videotape so I could play it over and over because, trust me, that’s all I thought about all day. I’m sure I looked like a lovesick fool to anybody who ran across me today, but I don’t care.”

  “Me either. I’m glad I didn’t have any clients. I don’t think I’ve could’ve functioned well enough to take care of them.”

  He gives me a tired smile. “This is what I want. Being with you. It’s all I want. If there were somewhere we could go and be alone together all the time – and I’m not talking about sex, I’m talking about just being – then I’d go right now and take you with me. I just want you as part of my world.”

  I nod as I chew on a bite of rib, then swallow. “I feel the same way. I don’t know a lot of things, and I don’t pretend to, but I know I love you and want to be with you. If I have you, I’m complete.”

  “Okay.” He wanders across the room to the messenger bag he brought in, pulls out some papers, and comes back. “I rewrote the contract. Read it and tell me what you think. I thought we’d go and scene at the club tonight, but I really want this to be far more intimate.”

  I start to read it and it sounds like the previous one. He agrees to take care of me, help me reach my full potential, and see that my needs are fulfilled, with special emphasis on the sexual ones, of course. I agree to follow his lead, to make myself available to him mentally, emotionally, and physically, once again with the sexual aspect emphasized. There are parts about rules, like greeting him naked in presentation pose at the end of the day if I get home before he does, not giving myself sexual pleasure unless I have his permission, and working toward a physical response to simple verbal instructions from him. And then I get to a part I haven’t seen before.

  The Dominant and submissive shall agree that the initial contractual period of six months shall constitute an engagement, and that, after said initial contractual period, a marriage will take place which will make the contract permanent and binding. Thereafter, all rules of legal marriage will apply.

  I stop and stare just in time to see him drop to his knees in front of me, reach into his pocket, and pull out a ring. “Kimmie, this is what I want. I hope you want it too. A D/s relationship is fine, and a contract is fine, but that’s not enough for me – not anymore. I want to know this is permanent, that during the time before it is, to know that we both know it’s what we’re working toward and planning. What do you think?”

  I’m smiling so hard my face is hurting. “I think that’s exactly what I want too.” Then I stick out my hand.

  His fingers are trembling as he slides the ring onto my finger and before I can stop myself, I’m in the floor in his lap, kissing him, touching him, pressing myself to him as his arms wrap around me, strong and possessive. Without hesitation, I whisper to him, “I want to marry you, Jaz. I want to be with you forever.”

  “I want to marry you and be with you forever too. I’ve been waiting for you for a long time, little girl.” He kisses my nose and I melt into him. “So start looking at the calendar. Six months. You can have whatever kind of ceremony you want, as long as we’re both there.”

  Six months. In six months I’m going to be even happier than I am now? I don’t think that’s possible, but I’m certainly willing to find out.

  It crosses my mind that we’ve got to decide what we’re going to do about the housing situation. “So what about the living arrangements?”

  He shrugs. “What do you want to do? I’ll do whatever you want.”

  That makes me laugh right out loud. “Spoken like a true Dominant!”

  He chuckles a little. “Well, really, it doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care one way or another, as long as we’re together.”

  “The truth?” I hesitate until he nods at me. “I’d just as soon live with you at your place. I like it there.”

  “That’s fine with me. And that makes it not my place – it’s our place. Come on. Get up. Let’s iron this out.” Up and out of his lap, I wait while he rises too and takes my hand. We sit down on the sofa, my legs across his lap again, and talk about where we’re going to live and how. I keep my house for two years, and then, if I want to, I either sell it or I rent it out for extra income. That sounds good to me, except I’ve got plans for it. Finances are discussed, how we want to arrange paying our bills and all of that sort of thing. Finally, he says, “And promise me something?”

  “Sure! What?”

  “If you have a Dom coming in for a fitting and he’s someone you feel even the least little bit attracted to, you’ll let me be there to protect my interests, if you know what I mean?”

  I just shake my head and give him a smirk. “You don’t have anything to worry about. Nothing. So don’t.”

  “Promise?”

  I let out a huge sigh. “Yes. I promise. But don’t doubt. There’s no one on earth I’d rather be with. Okay?”

  “Okay.” He ruffles my hair and gives me a silly grin. “You’re the only woman for me. I’ve waited for you. I didn’t think I’d ever find you, and here you are.”

  “Let’s celebrate. Let’s go out to dinner or something. Want to?”

  Jaz’s eyebrows shoot up and he grins. “I’ll take you dancing!”

  “Oh! That would be so much fun!”

  “Yeah? Let’s go. Tomorrow night. I’ll find a place. You just dress up and have a good time.”

  “I can do that.” I lean in and give him a peck on the lips. “And can I ask a favor?”

  “Sure. What, baby?”

  A shy smile creeps across my face. “Can we just sleep tonight? I’m exhausted. Whatever that was that happened last night, it wore me out!”

  Peppering a light kiss on my forehead again, he gives me that warm smile that makes me blush all over. “That’s fine. I’m pretty tired too. You wore me out, girl!”

  “I wore you out? Seriously? Jasper Givens!”

  “Well, you did! I’m exhausted!” He’s laughing so hard that he’s wheezing.

  My expression turns serious, I’m sure, when I finally ask him, “Jaz? What happened last night? I mean, it was strange. And awesome. And a little scary.”

  “I know.” Looking into my eyes, he shrugs. “I don’t know for sure. But I know this: I felt things I’ve never felt with anyone else. And when that clap of thunder came rolling through? It was like some kind of electromagnetic field passed over that just drew us together. It was incredible. I don’t believe in a lot of things, Kimmie, but that was no accident. It was meant to be. I’m convinced of that.”

  “Me too.” Something is right there behind my teeth and on my tongue. “Do you think this is happening too fast?”

  Jaz’s gaze is serious. “Does it feel like it’s happening too fast?”

  “No.”

  “Then there’s your answer. Babe, I asked myself that several times today, and the only answer I could come up with was that I couldn’t wait to get back to you. I finally decided that was the only answer I need.” With a long pause, he jumps back in again and asks me a question that surprises me. “When I met you, you pretty much wanted to be beaten to death by anybody who’d do it. Do you still need that?”

  That one question almost causes me to fall off the
sofa. He hit the sweet spot. “No. I don’t. I hadn’t given it any thought until now, but I don’t even have that craving anymore. It’s gone.” Now I’m just bewildered until my tattered brain understands the importance of this.

  I don’t need it anymore. The pain? It’s a thing of the past. I don’t see it as necessary, haven’t thought about it, haven’t asked for it, and if anyone approached me right now and offered, I’d look at them like they were loony, I’m sure. That hunger has just disappeared. That’s how I know this is right. Whatever has happened between Jaz and me, it’s something healthy and healing for me – for us both.

  “Come on, baby girl. Let’s go to bed. My arms feel empty.” Jaz motions for me to get up and off his lap, and then he joins me and leads me down the hall to the bedroom. Fifteen minutes later, we’re snuggled together and whispering back and forth to each other about how much we love each other and never want to be apart. I think the life I’ve always wanted has arrived.

  I wake in the wee hours of the morning to a sensation that’s unfamiliar. It takes a little while, but I realize that there’s something over my face and what I’m seeing is not the dark of the room. It’s the darkness of what seems to be a hood. But when I reach for whatever it is that’s covering my face, I find my hands restrained outward and to the sides, stretched wide. I try my legs and find they’re tied the same way, out and flat. Panic is creeping in when I hear Jaz’s voice. “I’m right here, sub. Just breath. You’re safe.”

  “Jaz?” He doesn’t answer. “Sir?”

  “Yes, sub.”

  “What, I don’t . . .” I’m still groggy from sleep and trying to make sense of it all.

  “I want you to understand what signing that contract and accepting my ring means. It means your body belongs to me, and mine to you. This will be difficult for you, but you’ll be fine. I want to see how far I can push you. Safeword?”

  Streaking through my mind are the faces of all the sadistic bastards I’ve submitted to, men who didn’t give a shit about me, and all the times I should’ve safeworded with them and didn’t. It takes me exactly two seconds to decide: I belong to him. He loves me. This is his place as the Dominant in my life, and I accept my place as his submissive. My decision is clear: “No safeword.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. Absolutely, Sir.”

  “Then you’re mine for the duration. I hope you’re prepared.” He’s moving around on the bed and I’m trembling as I’m waiting. What’s he doing?

  I hear the sound of a mechanical device, and I recognize it immediately. It’s one of those huge vibrators, the big professional kind they use at the clubs. Then it snaps back off. His lips encircle one of my nipples and suck it to a hard point, then the bite of a clover clamp takes over. When he’s treated the other to the same, he pulls hard on the chain between the clamps and I moan loudly. “Guess I got them seated perfectly. Can you possibly understand how positively fuckable you look like this? You’ve got the most exquisite nipples I’ve ever seen. They’re perfect, and I know they’re aching now.” I feel his fingers on my lips. “Open wide.” When they part, he slips the chain in and says, “Hold it with your tongue and lips. No chipped teeth.” The chain is just long enough that it puts a constant tension on the clamps and makes my nipples throb. “You’ll be tugging it soon enough.”

  The sound starts again, and I feel him spread my lower lips with his fingers. Before I can even twitch, he retracts the hood of my clit and presses the head of the vibrator directly onto it.

  My body knots immediately and I feel my breath catch in my throat. Just as I think I can’t stand any more, he growls, “No, sub. Don’t come. You’ll hold that orgasm. This will be difficult but not impossible. Concentrate on the feel of my fingertips.”

  His fingertips gently brush up and down my abdomen and ribcage, then circle my breasts, skipping over the chain almost seamlessly. I try to concentrate on his touch, but every muscle below my waist is beginning to spasm, and I’m not going to be able to hold off my orgasm. I whine loudly, and just as my hips are about to give in, he removes the vibrator.

  The chain doesn’t keep me from crying out, “Oh, god! No, Sir!” My scream is followed by a hard, sharp slap to the inside of my left thigh.

  “I’ll give it to you when I please, submissive. You’ll hold it. Understood? Otherwise, there will be more discipline.” He waits. “Do you understand?”

  “Yes, Sir,” I groan around the chain.

  The vibrator returns to my clit, and so does his hand to its tracing up, down, and around my body. I’m fighting the orgasm, fighting the restraints, fighting his touch and the vibrator. God, I’m fighting everything. I hear him whisper, “Give in, sub. Just let me have your body. Do as I say and experience it.” He whispers the same thing three or four times.

  I get lost in the sound of his voice, in the sound of the vibrator, in the goose pimples his touch raises on my arms, legs, and everywhere else on my body that can generate them. My hips want to buck, my pussy clenching and releasing, and just when I think I can’t stand another split second, his flat palm lands firmly in the middle of my stomach and he tells me, in that authoritative voice of my Dominant, “Come for me, submissive.”

  Everything explodes, my body reverberating with the humming of the vibrator, and my head lurches backward, taking the chain in my lips with it. The instantaneous pain in my nipples intensifies the orgasm, and I feel like I’m levitating off the bed, the power of my muscles and the endorphins in my body carrying me above what Jaz is doing to me, forcing on me, refusing to let up. I pray the vibrator will shut off, but it doesn’t. My head is jerking now, yanking over and over on the chain attached to my nipple clamps, and I can feel my hands thrashing, my fingers clenching and releasing almost like I’m pleading. I hear him murmur, “That’s it, baby girl. Keep it going. You’re about to float away. Just a minute or two more . . .”

  And it happens. He grinds the second orgasm out of my over-sensitized clit with the vibrator, and I feel the disconnect between my mind and my body. Sounds seem to move away and there’s a dull ringing in my ears that fills my head. My back arches and locks, and my body just trembles all over in a way it never has before. Everything is dark and warm and quiet, and I hear a tiny, quiet voice say, “That’s it, baby. Fly for me. Just let go and let it take you. That’s right, Kimmie. Keep it up, baby.”

  Abruptly, the vibrator stops and I feel his hand on my stomach press me back down into the mattress. The chain disappears from my lips and I feel an almost unbearable pull on it, pulling my nipples up and out hard, and I can feel my mind drifting back down and into my body, the pain bringing me back to earth. I let out a gasp and feel the tension disappear. In just a second, I shriek as the blood rushes back into my clampless nipples, and he announces matter-of-factly, “Here we go, babe. Turn loose.”

  I feel two fingers slip into my pussy and start to stroke furiously, and I hear myself cry out, “Noooooo! Oh, god, nooooo. Oh, pleeeeeeease, oh, no, please. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck . . .”

  “Let it go, Kimmie.” I clench down, trying hard to prevent what I know is about to happen, but it’s in vain. His voice changes and he growls out, “Come for me, submissive.”

  I feel the gush and the relief, and Jaz slows and massages inside my warmth and wetness. In just a few seconds, I hear a familiar sound – even though I can’t identify it immediately – and then I feel his hardness pierce me. His strokes are powerful and insistent, and I sense his increasing hardening and lengthening. “God, you’re so beautiful like this, left totally to my will. Your body belongs to me. I want to use it until you can’t take any more, and then use it just a little more. Look at you, submissive. My cock is so beautiful moving in and out of that sweet little pussy of yours.” Even though I can’t see him, I can tell he’s looking down at me, feel his eyes moving over my body, and I want him to use it, use me, until he’s satisfied. I can tell that he’s nearing his own orgasm but without warning, he stops and pulls his cock from me.


  I feel him loosening the restraints on my arms and legs, and then the hood disappears from my face. There’s no chance to process what’s happening before he snarls at me, “Climb on and ride me. Ride me hard until we both come. Now.” I’m scrambling and when I straddle him, he grabs my waist and yanks me down on his hardness. His cock head slams into my cervix and jolts everything inside me, and I scream out. “Fuck me, sub. Now.” I rise and when I drop, he slaps both my tits with his hands. “Fuck me. Hard. Now.” I start riding him in earnest, and after a couple of minutes, he slaps my ass with both of his hands, then slaps my tits again, and I shriek out. “Fuck me! Hard! You can do better than that, submissive. I want my cock to hurt you when it hits bottom. I want you to know how hard I am for you, how I want you. I want to know how you want me.” He slaps my tits again. “Fuck me! Harder!”

  The pain is so intense and amazing that I’m incoherent. Even though I want to tell him how good it feels, I can’t. All I can do is babble. I can feel myself slipping into another orgasm, and quick as a wink, I find myself on my back again and Jaz above me, slamming into me pile driver style. His balls slap against my ass, his shaft pounding into me, everything in my belly shifting and swelling with the increased circulation of arousal, and when he leans down and nips my shoulder, I scream out and come, clawing at his chest, begging him to stop, to go on, to fuck me until I can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t think. In just a few seconds, he mutters out, “Oh, yeah. I’m giving it to you, girl. That’s it, little one. You’ve never been fucked the way I’ll fuck you, all day and all night.” His body shudders and he grinds his dick into me, his hips digging in and pressing me upward until I’m sure my head will pound the headboard.

  When he finally stills, his weight resting on me, he props himself up on his hands and looks down at me. There’s a wildness there that consumes me, and he smiles down. “You let me love you. You let me fuck you into oblivion. Who are you, Kimberly Hendricks? How did I find you? Are you an angel? A witch? Who are you and how do you do this to me? Why do you let me do this to you?”