Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  “Thank you, Sir.”

  “No, thank you. Your body was just incredible, as it always is.” The silence grows thick between us again, and I finally can’t stand it anymore.

  “Sir, is something wrong? Have I done something wrong? Because if I have, if you’ll just tell me, I’ll be glad to apologize for . . .”

  He holds up a hand to quiet me and sighs before he speaks. “No, baby, you haven’t done a thing wrong. I’m so sorry. You know I love you, right?”

  “Yes, Sir.” I just go back to sitting there, waiting, and even though I fight them, big tears start welling up in my eyes and then trickle down my cheeks. Then my nose starts running, damn it. I guess he hears me sniffle because he turns and looks down at me, and the look on his face is pitiful.

  “Hey, come here. Sit on my lap. Oh, baby,” he whispers to me as I climb onto his legs and he wraps his arms around me. “It’s okay. I’m sorry. You haven’t done one single thing wrong. You’re perfect.”

  “Sir, I’m a long way from perfect.”

  “You know what I mean. But it’s not you.” He lets out another big sigh. “Do you know why I’m really here this week?”

  “To work.”

  “Yes, but there’s another reason.”

  I shrug. “All I know is to work.”

  “Yeah. Well, the real reason I’m here is because I was up for a promotion to another position.” He said was. Oh, god, no. Before I can ask what happened, he says quietly, “They passed me over for someone who’s been with the company longer. Problem is, they have half my skills and they’ve made messes of the last five projects they’ve done. And I had to help straighten them out.”

  “That’s not fair, Sir. It’s not fair at all.”

  “Life’s not fair, Kimmie.” I sure as hell know that’s true. “But I was really counting on that promotion. It would’ve been more money, it would’ve cut down on my travel, and,” he says with sadness in his voice, “it would’ve put me here with Reggie and Misty. I come here a lot and I really like this town. I would’ve loved to be here with them.” My heart starts to hurt until he adds, “I would’ve loved for us to be here with them.” He didn’t mean alone, and my panic starts to subside a little, but I still hurt for him.

  “Can you just find another job? Something here instead of in Chicago?” My mind is churning with all my ideas now, and I know I’ve got to get busy.

  “I’m trying, but there isn’t that much around here, believe it or not. There’s an automotive plant here, but they don’t have any openings. Trust me, I know; I’ve checked with them about a dozen times.”

  I try to think of something that’ll brighten him up a little. “Well, you certainly hid all of this very well during dinner. I had no idea there was anything wrong, and I think we both had fun, didn’t we?”

  A soft little chuckle rises from his throat. “Yeah, we did. I mean, Reggie knows what’s going on. He’s the one who pressured them to consider me. It was down to me and the other guy, and Reggie’s still in shock that they chose him. Doesn’t make any sense, but that’s what they did.”

  “I’m so sorry, baby. I really am.” I put my hands on his cheeks and give him a little peck on the lips.

  Thank god that makes him smile. “It’s okay. I’ve still got you. And I’m sorry I was so rough on you, but I needed to blow off some steam. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. And that’s fine too. If there’s a way you can use my body to relieve stress or make your world a little better, that’s one of the things I’m here for. That and to love you.”

  His arms tighten around me and he presses one cheek to my chest. My arms are wound around his neck, and my hands automatically drag upward into his hair. I scratch his scalp gently with my fingernails and run my fingers through that thick darkness, feeling its silkiness. As I do, I can feel him relax and sag against me, and my heart is so full that I think it’ll explode.

  After we’ve sat there for a very long time, he whispers, “We should go to bed. I’m sure you and Misty have some things to do tomorrow. At least you’re having some fun.”

  “Yes, I am. She’s a hoot, and we’re having a really good time. Thank you so much for bringing me, for this beautiful room and the wonderful food and the great company.” Now I start to sniffle again. “And thank you for loving me and wanting me here with you. I just wish you’d told me from the beginning why we were coming here.”

  “Shhhhh, don’t cry. Thank you for loving me, precious. And I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want you to be disappointed if it didn’t work out, but I didn’t factor in how disappointed I’d be. I don’t think I realized how much I was counting on this until it didn’t happen. I don’t think ‘crushed’ is a strong enough word.” He draws back, looks at my face, and then kisses me. “Let’s get some sleep. Tomorrow will look better, I think. Stand up.” Climbing off his lap, I wait until he’s standing and take his hand. As we step back into the bedroom, he pats me on the butt and says, “I’m going to get a quick shower. Get on in the bed. I’ll be right out.”

  I know he wasn’t in there long, but by the time he comes out, I’m sound asleep. Somehow I feel his weight shift the bed, then feel his warmth behind me, his skin against mine setting me right. I dream, and in my dreams, I see that little boy again, and he’s leading a calf down a road. He asks, “Hi, ma’am. Would you like some fresh milk? I’m not big, but I will be someday, and so will my cow.” In the dream, I scoop up the boy and kiss him on the cheek, and he smells like clover and old-fashioned lye soap. Then he asks, “What’s your name?”

  “My name is Kimberly. What’s yours?”

  With a smile full of sunshine and promise, he says, “My name’s Jasper. Nice to meet you, ma’am.”

  After my trip to the bathroom at three o’clock, I make my way back to the bed and look down at the man there. His face is smooth and relaxed, and there’s something so innocent and pure about him, his chest gently rising and falling with his breath. When I scoot back in beside him, his arms reach out to me, and I cuddle into them. His breath is warm on my neck when he whispers, “I love you, Kimmie.”

  “I love you too, Jaz,” I whisper in reply just before his warmth lulls me back to sleep.

  Chapter Twelve

  When Misty shows up on Thursday morning, I’m dressed and ready, but I’m in the middle of The Most Important Thing, as I’ve come to think of it. “Ready to go?” she chimes.

  “Nope. I’ve got something going on. And I need you to keep to yourself anything you hear while I’m doing this, okay? It’ll only take me a few more minutes, but I need to get this done. Mum’s the word?”

  She does a pretend lip-zipping. “Not a word to anyone, I promise.”

  “Good.” I look at my notes and punch another number into my phone.

  When they answer on the other end, I ask for Miss Babcock. “Hi, Kimberly! How are you?”

  “I’m good. And you?”

  “Can’t complain. You ready to list?”

  “I think so. Can you get it ready for about a month from now?”

  “Oh, sure! Want to wait a little, huh?”

  “Yeah, just a little. But something’s happened that makes me think I should just go ahead with it. How long do you think it’ll take to sell?”

  “Not long. You live in a quiet neighborhood, but you’re really close to downtown, so it should go pretty fast.”

  “Even though it’s only two bedrooms?” When those words leave my lips, I see Misty’s eyes go round.

  “Oh, yeah. No one will balk at that. It’s all about the location. How about I come over, take some pictures, things like that.”

  “I’m not there. I’m in St. Louis, but I’ll be home Monday. Will that work?”

  “Sure!”

  We make arrangements to meet on Monday, and I’m pretty excited. When I hang up, I make another phone call, this time to the offices of Wilson, Wilson, and Green, Attorneys at Law. Working my way through secretary after secretary, I finally get K
evin Wilson, the second Wilson in the name. “Ms. Hendricks! Hope you’re well.”

  “I am. Quite. And I hope you are too.”

  “I am. And I have some very, very good news for you.”

  “Yeah?” Now my heart starts to race.

  “I found the relatives and talked to them. Believe it or not, they’re so excited that someone might be living there again that they don’t want anything. Every one of them has given me a clear title. So you want this to go into Mr. Givens’ name?”

  “Yes, please. Send any tax bills to me. Does he have to sign it?”

  There’s a chuckle on the other end. “Actually, I think I can work a way around that. Shouldn’t be much owed in taxes either.”

  I’m still in shock that none of his relatives want to lay claim. “Okay, so what are your fees?”

  “You know, I’m so impressed that you’d do this for him that I’m going to make it a flat thousand dollars. Is that within your reach?”

  Now my heart is pounding out of my chest. “Oh, absolutely! Oh, thank you so much, Mr. Wilson! I can’t believe this. He’s going to be so excited!”

  “Great, great. I’m so glad. So I’ll get everything drawn up and let you know when it’s done. Sound good?”

  “Sounds wonderful. Thank you so much, Mr. Wilson.” When we hang up, I let out a big sigh. “One more call,” I tell Misty, whose eyes are getting bigger by the minute.

  When his secretary answers, I ask for Mr. Jennings. “Hello,” he barks out.

  “Mr. Jennings? This is Kimberly Hendricks. We spoke on the . . .”

  “Oh, yes, the old Stevens place. I remember. So have you made a decision?”

  “Yes, sir. The paperwork is being done now. I’m trying to sell my house in a few weeks, so as soon as that happens, I’ll give you a call and we can talk about what needs to be done. Now I have to tell you, I won’t be there – no one will – so I’ll have to trust you as far as repairs go. I got your name from the chamber of commerce there in town, so I’m hoping you’ll live up to your reputation for honesty and dependability.”

  “I most certainly will. I’ve lived here all my life. I’ve watched that old place just start falling down and it made me so sad. I’m glad someone’s taking an interest in it. Mr. and Mrs. Stevens were wonderful folks.”

  “So I hear. Well, thanks, Mr. Jennings. I just wanted to give you a heads-up.”

  “Thank you, Ms. Hendricks. Talk to you soon.”

  When I put the phone down this time, Misty’s eyes are bugging. “What are you doing?” she whispers as though there’s a crowd and everyone’s listening in.

  “I’m making arrangements to make Jaz’s biggest, wildest dream come true.”

  “Are you talking about his family’s farm?”

  “Yeah. How did you know about that?”

  Misty grins. “I’ve heard him talking to Reggie about it. He gets all dreamy-eyed when he mentions it.”

  “Yes, he does. So you can’t say a word. I’m doing everything I can to keep it secret until I can get most of the work done on the house, at least until it’s liveable.”

  “What about work?”

  I shake my head. “The farm will be his work. He dreams about doing this, and it’s doable. I’ve already talked to the people at the extension office there, and they say there’s more than enough land there to make a decent living off of. I’ve got to have the money from my house so we have something to live on initially and money to buy a few things to get started, but I can always get a part-time or full-time job to help out.”

  She gives me a wistful smile. “You really love him, don’t you?”

  I let out a little giggle. “Honey, there isn’t a word for how I feel about Jaz. It’s just so . . . he’s just so . . . oh, I don’t know. I just love him.”

  “Well, then, we’ve got quite a day ahead of us! Ready to go?” Misty stands and heads toward the door.

  I grab my bag and follow her. “Ready to go!”

  *****

  “Oh, god, girl, this is amazing!” As I sit there in my fluffy mint green robe, the mud mask tightening on my face and sipping a mimosa while a gorgeous French guy named Gérard does my nails, I try to relax. It’s hard to be pampered.

  “He gave me quite the budget for you today, so we’re going to have it all!” she coos.

  Inside my head I tell myself, He really can’t afford this. I should pay for it. Unfortunately, I don’t have this kind of money either. But this mimosa is damn good.

  Two hours later, the girl says, “And I think this grey eyeshadow will look good on you.”

  “How much is this?” I squeak out.

  “Kim, doesn’t matter. If it’s what you need, get it,” Misty calls back as a girl in a black cape-like dress brushes bronzer on her face.

  “Margot,” the taller, older hairdresser says, “I need to borrow Kimberly for a few minutes. It’s time for her shine treatment to be rinsed and conditioned.”

  “Sure.” She helps me down out of the chair. “I’ll be right here when you get back.”

  I follow the tall woman, Kathleen, back to the hair area, but it’s hard to keep up with these little cotton thingies between my toes. Misty calls out to me, “Love that toenail polish, girl!”

  “Thanks,” I call back. Good god. I’m afraid when this is all done, I’ll look in the mirror and won’t recognize myself. Sheesh.

  But I get a huge surprise when my shine treatment is done and dried. Kathleen spins me around for a peek, and I gasp at my hair. It’s sleek and shiny with just the right amount of curl, and the way it tumbles around my shoulders is gorgeous. I can’t help but smile. Jaz is going to love it.

  I leave with my face all made up surprisingly well – no clown look here, thank god – and carrying a sack full of all kinds of products. There’s stuff for my hair, and new nail polish, and all kinds of makeup. I look beautiful but feel horrible. That was an enormous amount of Jaz’s money that I just spent. I sure hope he thinks it was worth it.

  We’re headed out for some lunch when I yell out, “Stop! Turn around!”

  “What? Why?”

  “I want to go to that little shop over there. Please?” I point to a yellow- and orange-striped awning.

  “Okay. Looks cute. I’ve never been in there before.” Misty wheels into the parking lot and I practically jump out of the car.

  It’s the dress in the window that catches my eye, and I can’t wait to try it on. First thing I do, out of habit, is look at the price tag, and I can’t believe it – it’s eighty-five dollars, which is really a good price. I put it on, step out of the dressing room, and Misty gives a long, low whistle. The clerk stops what she’s doing and turns to say, “Oh, that’s gorgeous on you!”

  With a deep plunging V-neck front and back, the bodice is criss-crossed and all ruched in a dove gray. The skirt is sleek and fitted and comes to just below my knees. All I need is a pair of black heeled sandals and I’ll look elegant. “Here. Try on this jewelry with it,” the clerk says and fastens the necklace around my neck.

  I look in the mirror and gasp. Standing there looking back at me is a woman I almost don’t recognize. She’s thin, but her bustline is full and her hips are curvy. Her long hair is glossy and healthy-looking, and her skin is rosy and clear, not to mention her shining blue eyes. My eyes tear up and everything is blurry. I’m surprised when Misty comes over and puts an arm around my shoulders. “You okay?”

  “Yeah. It’s just that I used to look so awful, so run-down and tired and raggedy. I didn’t know I could look this good. I mean, I’m no beauty, but I don’t look so bad.” I’m almost crying just standing there looking at myself.

  “What do you mean, you’re no beauty? You’re lovely! Just a doll! Now, here,” Misty says, handing me a tissue the clerk gave her, “dry your eyes before you ruin that beautiful makeup job.” About that time her phone rings. “Hi! Okay. Yeah, in just a few. Okay. Yeah, about thirty. Okay, babe. See you. Love you too.” She turns to me with a huge grin. “You
need to find some sandals ASAP because we’re meeting the guys at Café Étienne and I can’t wait to see Jaz’s face when you walk in.”

  “What size, honey?” the clerk calls back to me. When I give her a confused look, she says, “Shoes! Shoes! What size?”

  “Uh, seven and a half.”

  “Here. Try these.” She hands me the cutest pair of heeled black sandals I’ve ever seen, and I put them on. Their gladiator straps make my legs look long and lean, and I know right then that they’re the best choice. She rings up the dress, the necklace, earrings, and bracelet set, and the shoes, and I put them on my card. Then she and Misty set about taking all the tags off before we leave.

  Café Étienne is a tiny, fancy kind of place, and when Misty opens the door for me to enter, I’m taken aback by the chandeliers and silky tablecloths and beautiful, hand-rubbed wood fixtures. But what really takes me aback is the look on Jaz’s face when he spots me. His eyes go round, his jaw drops, and he rises from the table like a man who’s seen a ghost. I have to stifle a laugh, and I hear Reggie say long and low, “Wow. Looks like we hit the jackpot, my friend.” Jaz doesn’t say a word in return.

  In a voice as sweet as cream I coo out, “Hey, baby. Have a good day?”

  The fog must be clearing because he stammers out, “Uh, it was, um, it was a pretty good day. Holy fuck, it’s a lot better now. Sit down, babe, please,” he says as he pulls out a chair for me. I sit and let him help me scoot the chair up, then realize he’s staring at me like I’m some kind of alien.

  “Is everything all right?”

  Instead of answering me, he turns to Misty. “I don’t know how much of my money you spent on her, and I don’t care. It was worth it. Every. Fucking. Penny.” He turns back to me. “Honey, you look incredible.”

  “Don’t get too used to it,” I quip. “I’ll still turn back into a pumpkin at midnight.”

  “A beautiful pumpkin. You’re just . . . I’m just . . . Kimmie, I just don’t know what to say.”