Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  “Jane, you’ve eased my mind. I was beginning to worry the boy would be alone forever.” Jane and I cracked up as Cal frowned.

  James placed his hand on the small of my back and guided me to the woman on the couch. “Cassidy, I’d like you to meet my mom, Eva.” I turned my attention away from my father to James’s mother. She was quite lovely and as tall as me, if not taller, and I noticed they had the same dark hair, olive skin tone and eyes.

  “Cassidy, it’s an honor to meet you. James has told us so much about you.” She stood and kissed my cheek as I looked at James who just shrugged his shoulders. “All good things, I promise.”

  His dad then came over and we exchanged greetings. “A pleasure to see you again, Cassidy.” The last time I saw James’s dad was for business and I knew him as J.J. Benedict; it was a pleasant change of pace.

  After everyone was properly introduced, we were escorted to a large dining room. I went to sit at the end of the table furthest from his parents and James interceded. “Cassidy, please sit here.”

  His father was at the head of the table and his mother to his left. I was placed next to her, with James to my left. My father sat at the other end, with Lisa across from James, Cal across from me and Jane was sitting across from Eva, and next to J.J.

  “Aunt Eva, how are you feeling? You look good.” Jane looked thoroughly concerned.

  “I’m well, honey. No need for concern.”

  Sensing the tension in the air, I wondered if she was not being entirely truthful. I looked to James, but he was deep in conversation with my father and my attention was pulled back to Eva.

  “So, Cassidy, I hear you’re quite the event planner.”

  “Yes, I work for B & C.”

  “Yes, Cecily. How is she?”

  The question threw me off a little, “She’s good, as far as I know.” Eva nodded as I took a sip of my water.

  “So, James and Jane, which one of you will give this old man kids to spoil first? I’m partial to grandkids, but grandnieces and nephews will do, too.”

  I inhaled my water and started choking while Eva began thumping my back as I looked at the other dinner guests. Lisa was dumbstruck while Cal tugged on the collar of his shirt. Jane wasn't fazed and James, well, I couldn’t bear to look at him or my father.

  “For God’s sake, Dad,” James sounded annoyed.

  “Jackson, ease up. In all seriousness though, when?” Eva was smiling from ear to ear and my Dad started cracking up.

  “You two are incorrigible.” James leaned in and asked if I was okay. I nodded, but still couldn’t face him and he put his hand on my leg and gave me a reassuring squeeze.

  “I think they’re worse than Mother.” Jane leaned in and kissed Cal on the cheek. “Relax, it’s their game.” Cal visibly eased, a little.

  “I’m an old man and James needs an heir. Better get the show on the road, Son.” His dad was relentless.

  “You forgot to preface male heir.” I was stunned. My dad was playing along now and Cal was laughing. “I don’t know what you’re laughing at, Calvin. Your clock is ticking, too.” Cal paled and now it was my turn to laugh as the jokes and jabs continued through our late lunch.

  Once the meal was over, we headed back to the living room. We were all sitting down when Lisa asked the inevitable, “So, how did you all meet? It can’t be a coincidence, the two of you dating cousins and all.”

  All eyes fell to me and almost everyone in the room seemed uncomfortable except for my dad and Lisa. Did his parents know the truth of it all? I wanted to crawl into a hole and felt myself pale as James took my hand, but Cal took the lead.

  “Jane and I both paid Cass an unexpected visit and we hit it off.”

  “How romantic. Cassidy, what about you two?”

  Someone shut her up. I didn’t want to rehash all the nasty details.

  “I met Cassidy a few months ago. She wouldn’t give me the time of day. I’ve been wooing her ever since.”

  I exhaled at his words—he was amazing—so cool, calm and collected. I didn’t even think about what we’d tell them if they’d asked.

  “Smart girl.” Jackson was smiling as Eva smacked his leg.

  Smiling at them, it was obvious they were still in love after all this time. His dad was more relaxed than I remembered him being at our meeting last month when we met to discuss auction details. It was evident he was a man with a heart of gold, like his son.

  “Cassidy, dear. We wanted to get you a little something.”

  Eva stood and caught me off guard as she handed me an envelope. The gift was totally unexpected. “You shouldn’t have. Thank you.”

  “Go ahead, open it.”

  I nodded and opened it up finding a gift certificate for a massage, mani, pedi, cut and color and a facial. It was too much.

  “James told us how busy you’ve been. We figured you deserved a day of pampering.”

  “Really, it’s too much. Thank you so much.” I got up to give her a hug and spotted James grinning from ear to ear. “I can’t wait to use it!”

  I went to sit back down and Dad handed me an envelope before I managed it. “While you’re up.” He winked at me.

  “Dad, you shouldn’t have. With the wedding and all...” He waved me off.

  Inside the envelope was a pair of concert tickets. I blushed and immediately stuffed the tickets back in the envelope. “Thank you, Dad.”

  “I heard he was coming and I remembered how you used to blare his music in high school. I figured you’re old enough to go to one of his concerts.” My dad prided himself on knowing all our likes and dislikes when Cal and I were growing up. Cool as he was though, he didn’t allow me to go to many concerts unless Cal was willing to escort me.

  “Who are they for?” James was curious.

  “Yeah, Cassidy, tell him who your high school obsession was!” I threw Cal a threatening look and he tried to subdue his laughter.

  “I’ll tell you later. Thank you, Dad!” Dad and Cal were having a great laugh at my expense. James seemed to have dropped the subject but was eyeing me suspiciously.

  Suddenly, all attention was on Eva. She had dropped herself to the couch and was holding her head in her hands. “Mom!” James, J.J., and Jane were fretting around her immediately.

  “Eva, are you okay?” J.J. was crouched down in front of his wife.

  “I’m fine. I just got a little dizzy.”

  “Mom, you need to rest.”

  Jane was holding Eva’s wrist loosely and I could see her eyeing her watch. “Your pulse is fine. I think James is right. You just need to get some rest, Aunt Eva.”

  Eva nodded as James and J.J. got her to her feet. They escorted her out of the room, leaving my Dad, Lisa, Cal and I to wonder what was going on.

  “I hope she’s okay,” Lisa stated the obvious.

  We weren’t left waiting long before Jane returned and assured us everything was ok. “Cal, we should probably head out.” Cal agreed. “Cassidy, James asked if we could drop you off at home. He said he’d call you later.”

  “You said everything was okay. I’d like to wait for him if I can.” Jane looked a little perplexed, but she wouldn’t elaborate.

  “Cassidy, it’s no problem, there’s room in the truck.”

  “I’m waiting.” I wasn’t sure why I was being so stubborn, but something told me to stay.

  Cal and Jane didn’t offer again and Jane mentioned that she understood. We all said our goodbyes to Dad and Lisa before I sat down on the couch and picked up a magazine off the end table.

  ~ JAMES ~

  We got Mom to her room, Jane helped her in the bathroom and then we got her in bed. I was making my leave when she called me back to her.

  I asked, “Jane, can you and Cal take Cassidy home?”

  “Are you sure? I’m sure she’d prefer to wait for you.”

  “Yes, I’m sure.”

  “I’m not going to force her, James.”

  I nodded as she headed back to the living room and
made my way over to the bed.

  “Jimmy, she’s a wonderful girl. I’m thrilled for you.” I was sitting on the side of the bed holding her hand.

  “She is wonderful. I feel like she’s breathed life back into me.” She squeezed my hand. “You should rest, Mom.”

  “She’s strong but very sensitive. I already sense that in her. She’s the one for you, Jimmy, if you let her be. Don’t push her away, now or when I’m gone”

  “Mom, please don’t talk that way. Get some rest. I love you.” I kissed her cheek and stepped into the hall, leaving Dad with her. She had always been extremely inquisitive. I shouldn’t have asked Jane to take Cassidy home, and as I was walking back to the living room, Dad caught up to me.

  “Jimmy, are you okay?” Dad looked genuinely concerned.

  “Should I be?” I pulled my hands through my hair violently, not knowing how to even begin processing the loss of Mom. I knew it was coming, but I couldn’t bear the thought of it.

  “Son, you have to find a way to deal with this.” Looking at my father I could see the tears welling in his eyes. “Does Cassidy even know?” I shook my head. “You need to tell her, which will be a start. Let her take this journey with you, it’ll help.” He put his hands on my shoulders before hugging me.

  “I’ll try, Dad.”

  “Son, I promise you’ll come out the other end stronger as a person and as a couple if you let her in. Shut her out and you’ll regret it. I know from experience. Especially if she’s someone you’re serious about.” He slapped my back and squeezed my shoulder.

  We walked back into the living room and I was relieved to find Cassidy sitting on the couch flipping through a magazine. When she spotted me she put the magazine down and jumped to her feet, smiling at me encouragingly.

  “Cassidy, it was a pleasure to meet you.” My father kissed her cheek before embracing her and she hugged him back.

  “Same here. Thank you for having us over.”

  “Anytime, dear. Happy Birthday. Take care of each other.” He excused himself from the room.

  She was fidgeting and sensed my unease. “Is your Mom alright?” I just stood there looking at her. “James, please let me in.” Her words that echoed my Dad’s undid me. I pulled her tightly to me as she wrapped her arms around my waist as I held her. “James, you’re scaring me.”

  “Mom’s been battling cancer for almost five years.” She inhaled sharply and looked up to me. “I brought her home on Thursday. She’s forgoing anymore treatment.” Her eyes were getting glassy as my own traitorous tear slid down my face and I could tell she was struggling with what to say.

  “James, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

  She tucked her head back into my chest as I whispered, “You’re doing it. I’m glad you didn’t leave with Cal and Jane. Thank you for staying.”

  ~ CASSIDY ~

  We were driving back to my place and the silence was becoming unbearable. James was just staring into traffic, not mentally there. I took my hand and placed it on his thigh and he picked my hand up and kissed my knuckles.

  “Watching your Mom fight this battle for years, I can’t begin to imagine the pain you’re feeling.” He looked to me with solemn eyes.

  “Death in any form is horrible. Sometimes I wonder if losing her suddenly would’ve been easier.” Feeling myself pale, my throat getting tight, I pulled my hand out of his grasp and started tugging on imaginary specks of lint on my slacks. “Cassidy, I’m an idiot. I didn’t mean it.”

  “I know you didn’t. The grass is always greener.”

  Assuming a smile, I stared out my window and I started remembering the last time I saw her. I was so angry with her. I would give almost anything to take back the hateful words I said to her that night. My door suddenly opened, startling me, and James immediately pulled me to him; I hadn’t even realized we were home.

  “I’m sorry.” His voice was barely above a whisper as he cupped my face when a flash assailed our vision.

  “Cassidy, JB3 would you like to make a statement about the attack on Dan Young?” The man holding the camera was short and resembled a weasel with his camera in our faces. James sheltered me under his arm and shuffled me to the front door.

  “No comment, Len.”

  Fiddling with my keys, I noticed ‘Len’ place his foot on the bottom step behind us when James turned to him, “LEN! I’ll call the police. You’re trespassing,” James growled.

  I popped the key in the lock, walked through the door and moved to see Len moving back to the sidewalk. James slammed the door as another flash brightened the evening sky.

  Dumbstruck, I watched as James ensured all the blinds and curtains were still closed tightly. I hung up my jacket and purse then placed my birthday cards on the kitchen counter before making my way back to the couch and curling up in my favorite spot. My knees were pulled up and I was resting my forehead on my knees when the couch dipped under his weight as he sat next to me.

  “Cassidy, I’m really sorry about all this. I never expected them to take such interest in you, us.” His hand was stroking my hair.

  Lifting my head to look at him I told him, “It’s not your fault. I just wasn’t prepared for this. I had no clue what I was getting in to.”

  Looking troubled he said, “I understand if it’s too much.” He stood and began pacing my living room like he was debating about leaving.

  “James, that’s not what I meant. How persistent are these people? Should I get used to them being at my door every day?” I needed him to be honest with me so I could prepare myself mentally.

  “The buzz should die down in the next couple weeks. You’re the new girl on the street. They’ll do some digging until a better story comes along.” He sat back down next to me and must have seen the shadow of fear cross my face. “What is it, baby?”

  “What do you mean by ‘digging’?” I started chewing my nails.

  Picking up on my nervous habit immediately he asked, “Cassidy, what is it? What are you worried about them finding?” My eyes were focused on my knees. “Your record is clean, Smith said so. What is it?”

  “You ran my record?” I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I felt slightly violated and he didn’t look apologetic in the least.

  “Cassidy, I’m your landlord. Of course, I ran your record.”

  “Oh, right. I keep forgetting that little detail. I’m sure it was strictly business related.” He noted my sarcasm and smirked at me.

  Pulling my legs out, he stretched them over his lap. “Cassidy, talk to me. You can trust me.”

  My attempt to evade him was futile. I took a deep breath, blowing it out, “My mom, she’s the one who drove off the old Reynolds farm bridge all those years ago.”

  Watching as the wheels turned in his brain, he looked at me and I knew the instant he remembered the story because his eyes opened just a little bit wider. It was all over the news and in the papers for weeks, if not months.

  “Oh, Jesus. Cassidy, I had no idea.” I wasn’t even aware that I was crying until he wiped a tear away and pulled me to him, cradling me in his lap. “I’ll do everything I can to keep this under wraps.”

  “I’m sorry about your mom. I had no idea that she was sick.”

  He didn’t say anything and we just sat in each other’s embrace for a long time. When I felt a change in him—his breathing slow and quiet—I picked up my head and realized he had fallen asleep. Somehow, I managed to crawl off his lap without waking him. I unlaced his boots and then grabbed a blanket and placed it over him.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Twisted

  ~ CASSIDY ~

  Deciding to catch up on some laundry after changing into some sweats and an oversized t-shirt, I threw a load in and returned to the living room to find James still asleep. It was after seven p.m. and I wasn’t sure how long I should let him sleep. Electing to heat up some apple cider before waking him, I set the two cups down on the coffee table and knelt in front of him and started removin
g the boots I had unlaced earlier.

  “What time is it?” I looked up at him and his head was still resting on the back of the couch, he was smiling down at me and I smiled back. After I let him know the time, he stretched his arms up above his head, “That smells delicious.”

  I set his boots to the side before I stood; handing him a cup of cider and watching him take a long sip. “Cecily gave me the day off tomorrow. You want to watch a movie, maybe make some popcorn?”

  “That sounds wonderful, as long as you cuddle with me.” He winked at me and smiled.

  “I didn’t take you for the cuddling type.”

  “Oh, Cassidy, the things we still need to learn from one another.” Smiling broadly at him, I took a sip of my own cider. “Did you have a movie in mind?”

  “I’m not sure. I figured we can hit the RedBox down the street. I don’t have cable or any of the internet movie services.”

  “You’ve got a nice TV and BluRay player, though.”

  “Anthony and Lena got those for me when I moved in. Lena’s dad works at an electronics store so she got a great deal!”

  “You have internet?” I told him I did. “Great, I have all the internet services. Get me your remotes. We can load up mine.”

  I got him the remotes and sat down next to him while he programmed my multimedia BluRay player with several different options. “There. Now you have Netflix and Amazon. Shall we start browsing?” We began our search for a movie to watch.

  James changed into some running shorts and a t-shirt before we settled down on the couch. We ended up picking our favorite movies to watch. Goonies and The Princess Bride were both in our top five so we watched them in that order. I felt like a kid again watching them, only I was curled up with James and that made it even better. Frequently we would both repeat our favorite lines; some the same some not. I told him we should do this more often and he agreed; it was nice having a little bit of normalcy. When the movies were over we were laying down on the couch together just enjoying the quiet and each other.