Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  “So tell me who it is, if it’s not a big deal.”

  I placed my hands over my face before grunting out, “Chris Isaak.” He looked shocked. “What? He puts on a great show.” He just stared at me with that big stupid grin of his. “Stop looking at me like that. What are you thinking?”

  "I took you more for a Rob Zombie girl."

  “I like him, too.” He started belly laughing and I could feel myself blush further.

  “Your taste in music is quite eclectic. Maybe I should take you to see Weird Al.”

  I smacked his chest as I crinkled up my face in disgust. “Watch it, Mr. Benedict. I’m sure you have some questionable music tastes, too.”

  “Nope, not I.” He winked before heading to the closet to dress.

  *****

  It was Thanksgiving. Dad and Lisa were getting married the next day. We’d planned to have lunch with James’s parents and dinner at Dad’s since we were staying the night there so I could be there in the morning for all the wedding deliveries. Dad and Lisa took the news about Mom and Dan better than I expected they would. Better than I did. I had tried not to think about it, knowing James, Annie, Smith and Cal were doing everything possible to get to the bottom of it all. It’d been pretty quiet on the Dan front, which I must admit had me a little worried.

  The past couple weeks with James had been bliss, or as close as I had ever been to it. I couldn’t help but worry something was going to mess it up. Having had the pleasure of sleeping in his arms almost every night as he rained his sweet kisses over every inch of my body had been dreamlike. Missionary, doggy, shower, table, floor, couch, you name it and we’d probably done it. I was blushing just thinking about it. He had turned me into a wanton sex kitten. Speaking of sex kitten, Saturday was the fetish party and I was very curious and nervous, but James had ensured me that there was nothing to be worried about.

  “Hey, babe, you ready to go?” Pulling me from my thoughts and my packing, he came back into my bedroom. I would never tire from looking at him. He was wearing jeans and an oxford under a tight fitting gray sweater with the lapel collar turned up. His arms and chest were bulging in the sweater.

  “You look hot.”

  He smirked, “Not so bad yourself.” I waved him off and started zipping up my overnight bag.

  “I think I have everything. My dress and shoes for the wedding are at Dad’s; hair stuff, makeup…What am I forgetting?”

  “Birth control?” Curling up behind me, he rubbed his groin into me. “You have enough packed for a week and you’re only going to be gone two nights.”

  “Yes, I have my pills.” I pushed back against him and then turned in his arms, “You’re very tempting, but your parents are expecting us.” I grabbed my bags and started for the stairs when he snatched my bags from my grasp—always the gentleman—and we made our way downstairs.

  When we stepped outside I was greeted by a big Ford pickup truck. “Where’s the Rover?”

  He smirked at me as he placed my bags in the back seat of the quad cab. “Eh, wasn’t feeling it anymore. Figured I’d spread the Ford love. Do you like it?”

  “Like it, I love it. Haven’t I told you I have a thing for guys in big trucks?” I winked at him as I circled the truck admiring it. “My Dad and Cal are going to be envious!”

  Chuckling as he opened my door, he didn’t miss an opportunity to squeeze my ass as I climbed in.

  “You’re gonna have to wait. Maybe we can christen her later.” He groaned at my seductive stare before closing the door.

  We pulled up to his parents’ place to a flurry of activity and not the activity you wanted to see. There were a few cop cars and an ambulance parked in the drive. James threw it in park, immediately jumping out of the truck before I had a chance to unbuckle. He’d already vanished inside when I spotted Cal and Jane.

  “What’s going on?” I was catching my breath from running up the drive to the house.

  “It’s Aunt Eva. She collapsed and wouldn’t come to so we had to call the paramedics. She was awake by the time they arrived and is now fighting going to the hospital.” Jane was clearly upset and Cal had a protective arm around her.

  “Oh, God. James told me about the cancer but he hasn’t elaborated further. How bad is it?” My heart was pounding as my throat tightened. I couldn’t begin to imagine what James was going through.

  Jane tried to speak, but her emotions took over and Cal pulled her to his chest and I rubbed her back.

  “From what Jane has told me, it’s bad. She doesn’t have much time.”

  My stomach dropped as his words sank in. I needed to go to him. Making my way inside, following the voices, I entered the living room to find that Eva was sitting on the couch with a paramedic monitoring her vitals while another spoke to James and his father. Eva spotted me and waved me over with a reassuring smile on her face. She patted the couch next to her so I sat down and she grabbed my hand. I needed to spend more time with her; I had so many questions for her.

  “My lovely girl. They’re fussing over nothing. Everything is just fine. You’re a woman; you know what it’s like to overdo it. I just did too much preparing for today.”

  I was at a loss. I sensed that she was trying to cover up how serious it was. “Eva, maybe you should let them take you to the hospital just to be sure.”

  “Thank you. She needs to go.” James was now in front of us, squatting down to our level.

  “Pish, posh. This is nonsense. I’m spending Thanksgiving at home with my family.”

  “Dammit, Mom.” We both jumped at his tone. “I’m sorry, but you’re being a stubborn ass.”

  I did my best to hold back my smirk. Watching him take this tone with his mother was quite amusing.

  She seemed to be considering what he was saying and was looking between him, the paramedic, J.J. and me. “Fine, but I’m not staying longer than one night.”

  I could practically see the tension roll off of James, J.J. and the paramedics. They wheeled over the ambulance bed and she started cursing them. We all got a good laugh out of her throwing a fit as she was strapped to the bed, rolled out of the house and then put in the ambulance. James made his way back to the porch where I was standing with Cal and Jane.

  “Cassidy, I’m so sorry, but I need to be at the hospital with Mom.”

  “I can come with you.”

  “Cass, I don’t know when I’ll be leaving. I may miss the wedding tomorrow and you have so much you need to get done. I’m sure Cal can give you a lift.”

  “I, um, okay. Are you sure? I want to be with you. I’m so sorry.” He grabbed my hands and tenderly rubbed his thumbs over my knuckles.

  “I know you do. I’ll head up to your dad’s as soon as Mom’s in the clear.” He kissed my forehead before pulling me toward his truck. “Jane, you can ride with me if you like.”

  I looked to Cal and Jane as they exchanged a few words I couldn’t make out. He kissed her and my heart heated a little for my brother. I’d never seen him like this with a woman. Cal and James traded bags as I hopped in Cal’s truck and Jane climbed into James’s.

  Cal and I drove in silence for the first thirty minutes of the hour long drive to Dad and Lisa’s. There was a light snow falling, but it wasn’t quite sticking yet. Spotting a few houses donning their Christmas lights and others still putting them on, I couldn’t help but want to be with James.

  “Do you think she’s alright?” I asked as I stared out my window.

  I heard him sigh, “I don’t know. Jane is under the impression she’ll be gone soon.”

  I dropped my head back to my seat and closed my eyes. This time of year had always been magical for my family, even after mom was gone. I had a hard time wrapping my mind around how horrible that time of year must have been for James.

  “Cal, this is the worst time of year for this. With the holidays, his birthday, Jason’s death, and all at this same time of year. It’s a cruel joke.” I wanted to get to know Eva better and made a promise with myself t
hat I would spend some time with her, if she made it. I shook the morbid thought from my brain.

  “He knows you want to be there with him and how much you love him.”

  “Does he?” I rubbed my hands over my face.

  “Cassidy, he loves you, too. It’s written all over the two of you.”

  I just looked at him, positive that the uncertainty was plastered all over my face.

  He narrowed his eyes at me. “He’s told you, right?”

  I laughed, “Nope, nada, zilch.” I stared back out the window as a solitary tear ran down my cheek, scorching my skin.

  “Have you told him?”

  “Are you out of your mind? Girls don’t say it first. It’s like signing your death warrant.”

  He laughed boisterously before saying, “Well, I guess maybe. He seems to speak with his actions and not words.”

  “You have no idea.”

  He looked at me and shook his head. “I don’t want to know; I might have to hurt him.”

  “Ha, you didn’t hurt Paul.”

  “Well, that was an extenuating circumstance.” He gave me a knowing glance.

  “What about you and Jane? Do you love her? Have you told her?” He simply nodded. “Well, which is it?” He just shrugged his shoulders. “You’re an ass.”

  “Give him time. If he’s worth it, you’ll wait for him to say it.”

  I reflected on our conversation and it wasn’t long before we got to Dad’s and told them about Eva. They were very sympathetic.

  We dove right into final preparation mode for tomorrow. The lights were up and had been tested in the barn, along with the heat. Dad had bought this place shortly after Mom died, needing to get us out of the old house and the ghosts that lingered there. He’d found an old farmhouse on a few acres with a barn and had spent the last fifteen years or so fixing the place up.

  When we were sure everything was ready in the barn we headed back inside. Lisa threw some pizzas in the oven while I checked my phone. No word from James. I wanted to call him, but decided against it. Checking with Cal, he hadn’t heard anything, either. We spent the rest of the night reminiscing and playing board games like we used to.

  I went to bed still not having heard from James. I shot him a text to let him know I was thinking of him.

  Thinking of you and your mom.

  Hope all is well. Miss you.

  Love, Cass

  I fell asleep waiting for his reply.

  *****

  The morning was a blur of flowers, caterers, and everything wedding related. Somehow, I managed to run into town to get my nails done. I still hadn’t heard from James, though Cal said that Jane called him and said Eva should be headed home later that day and Jane was on her way up for the wedding. She, not we, she. I didn’t have time to dissect why James hadn’t called me yet. If I did I would break, and the day was about Dad and Lisa.

  “You ready?” I smiled at Lisa in the mirror. She looked amazing. Her hair was pinned up with crystal snowflakes speckled throughout it.

  “I think so.” She turned to me with a huge smile on her face. “I can’t thank you enough, Cassidy. You’ve worked so hard putting this wedding together for your dad and me.”

  I waved her off, “It was my pleasure. I’m glad you two are finally making it official.”

  “Soon I hope to return the favor.” She hugged me tightly.

  “We’ll see.” My tone gave me away.

  “Honey, I’m sorry he hasn’t called. Don’t think the worst. It’ll all work out.”

  I willed myself not to cry. I swallowed down the tears that cut like razors in my throat as I nodded at her. “Alright, let’s do this!”

  I couldn’t help but look for him as I walked down the aisle, spotting Jane my heart leapt with hope. I took my place across from Dad and Cal as all eyes fell to Lisa.

  She began her walk toward my father and I glanced at him, catching him swipe at a tear. I was so happy for him, he deserved to be happy. The music was swelling as Lisa finally joined my father. She placed her hand in his and the ceremony got under way.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Done

  ~ JAMES ~

  Cassidy was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Her hair was pulled to the side in an elegant ponytail that was draped over her shoulder. She was killing another blue dress, but this one wasn’t long like the one she wore for the auction. I wanted to take her out back and fuck her in the snow the first chance I got.

  She had spotted Jane and I could tell that she was looking for me. I wanted her to be mine, forever. Whoa dude, relax. It hit me that I had never said that about anyone before; my playboy ways and my heart warred with one another. Everyone was right. I was in love with her. I don’t know why I kept denying it. I moved out from the shadows as the ceremony continued as her gaze was focused on the happy couple. I remained standing in the back of the barn just watching her. The vows were a mere whisper compared to the beating of my heart.

  Pulled from my reverie as the crowd cheered the kissing couple, I joined in the applause as her eyes turned and found mine. I hated that look of insecurity on her face, looking at me wondering if I still wanted her. Didn’t she know that I would always want her?

  Dave and Lisa made their way back down the aisle with Cal and Cassidy following behind. She was pulled into greeting guests and then pictures almost immediately. I tried to object when her Dad and Lisa insisted that I join in the photographs, but the pleading in her eyes and Jane dragging me behind her convinced me. The photographer took some of just Cassidy and me, too.

  “You look ravishing.” I whispered in her ear as the photographer posed us.

  “Right back at ya!” She gave my arm a reassuring squeeze.

  “If you’re not careful, I’m going to take you up in the hay loft and have my way with you.” The beautiful flush that I loved so much took over her cheeks.

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” She winked at me before copping a feel, rubbing her behind against me as she stood in front of me.

  “I think you know me better than that.”

  “Do I?”

  She was pushing me intentionally, wanting me to throttle her with my cock the first chance I got. After the pictures were over I gave the photographer my card so I could purchase my own copies. I then dragged her to a dark corner while everyone seized the opportunity to congratulate Dave and Lisa.

  Pushing her up against the barn wall with a little more force than necessary, pressing into her while stealing a kiss. She responded with a groan and dug her fingers into my arms. I looked to see that she’d had a manicure done and added fake nails.

  I pulled her hand to my lips, “What are these?”

  Shrugging her shoulders, “I wanted to look nice for the pictures since I chewed all my nails off last night waiting to hear from you.” She looked uneasy and I knew my blunder. “I ran into town early this morning and had them done.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t call you. It was so late by the time I checked my phone, I didn’t want to wake you.” She tried to talk and I put my finger on her lips. “I figured you’d be swamped with wedding stuff this morning. I’m sorry. I should’ve at least texted you. Forgive me.”

  “Of course I forgive you. I just hated being away from you with everything that was happening.” She stroked my cheek and I turned into her touch. “How’s your mom?”

  “They let her go home this morning. She’s fine, for now.” Releasing a deep sigh, she threw her arms around my shoulders. I lifted her to me and inhaled her intoxicating citrus scent.

  “I’d like to spend some time with her,” she pulled back to glance at me as if asking for permission. “If that’s okay with you.”

  “Of course it’s okay.” Pulling her arms down, I held her hands in mine. “I’m glad you said it. Listen, I was thinking about tomorrow.” She looked at me intently. “I know the fetish party is tomorrow night, but I’d like us to spend the day with Mom putting up the tree. It’s our family t
radition.”

  “Absolutely, I’d love to partake in your family tradition.”

  “If we finish in time we can decide about going to the party then. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “I don’t mind at all. I just want to be with you, and whether that’s at a fetish party or decorating the tree, I’m happy.”

  “Thank you. Cassidy, there’s been something I’ve been meaning to tell you…”

  “Miss Charles, when do you want the appetizers to be served?”

  For fuck sakes, could she not see that we were in the middle of a conversation? I glared at the girl in the catering outfit as she scurried away from us.

  “I’ll be right there.” She looked back to me, “You were saying?”

  “Nothing. It can wait. You did a great job. This looks amazing.”

  “Thank you. Save me a dance.” She pecked my cheek before gliding away.

  “You can have them all,” I called after her. She flashed her beautiful grin back at me.

  Later on, I followed her in to the house so she could use the bathroom. She headed up the stairs and into a bedroom with an attached bathroom. She closed the door and I took in my surroundings. We were in a generic room, no evidence that it was Cassidy’s childhood room or someone else’s. It was then I spotted her bags near the closet as she told me this was the room we would stay in that night. I peeked into the hall and didn’t see anyone so I closed the bedroom door and locked it.

  When she exited the bathroom I threw her over my shoulder before dropping her to the bed.

  “Oh.” She was giggling, “James, they’ll wonder where we are.”

  “I’ll be quick.” I dropped my jacket and opened my pants as she propped up on her elbows, watching me undress. I dropped to my knees, yanked her to the edge of the bed pushing her dress to her hips, and buried my face in her panties. “I love your smell, taste, how slick you get for me. Are you slick for me?”

  She blushed and I laughed as she dropped to her back. I pulled her panties down and unleashed everything I had on her, showing no mercy. Her clit was already hard and she wrapped her fingers into my hair, digging those new nails into my scalp as she swiveled her hips into me. She started twitching and I knew she was close.