Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  “Troubles sleeping?” Vincent called out, his bare back to me.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I can’t sleep.”

  “You didn’t wake me,” he said and rolled over. “I wasn’t sleeping either.”

  “Really? You appeared out.”

  “No, I’ve been up since we went to bed, I think. I didn’t want to toss and turn to find a comfortable spot and wake you.”

  “That’s funny,” I said, “because I was doing the same thing.”

  Vincent stretched out his arm towards my face. He gently grabbed it and pulled my head towards him.

  “Oh,” he cooed, “you’re burning up.”

  “I know, right? But so are you,” I whispered back. But unlike me, Vincent was just hot, not a sweaty mess. His hand was extremely hot against the side of my face. We lay there and stared at each other for several moments. Vincent seemed to study my face.

  “What?” I asked, embarrassed by all of the attention.

  Vincent sighed. “I was just thinking how odd it was that we both can’t sleep and are burning up. But I suppose it’s nothing, just a coincidence. Let’s get some breakfast.”

  He was out of bed quicker than a blink of the eye and pulled a shirt over his bare chest, much to my dismay. He was quite the eye candy with perfectly chiseled abs and arms. I pulled on a pair of pants and a robe and followed him into the kitchen as I pondered Vincent’s observation.

  “Tea?” he asked.

  “Yes please, but hold the breakfast.”

  “Tea but no breakfast?” Vincent questioned inquisitively.

  “You heard me,” I jokingly said.

  “But you didn’t eat dinner last night. You must be famished.”

  “Nope. I’m not hungry…for food at least.”

  Vincent stared just a bit longer, as if not believing what he heard. I almost couldn’t believe I made the suggestive comment. “Okay,” he resigned, and placed the eggs back in the refrigerator.

  “What do you want to do today?” I asked.

  “That, my dear, is up to you,” Vincent said as he sat down across the table from me. He handed me a mug as he sipped his.

  “Jog my memory; what is there to do on this island?”

  “Well, we could go hiking, or take the boat out, but it’s a bit chilly for that.”

  “No kidding,” I interrupted. “The cold air might feel good on my hot skin now but I’ll be freezing cold later!”

  Vincent smirked and looked at the ground for a moment before returning his eyes to me.

  “Yes, me too,” he added.

  I thought it was an odd comment since no one seemingly got as cold as I did during the daytime. “Or,” he continued, “we can walk the cliffs, or…”

  “Or what?” I asked.

  “Or we can just stay in,” he replied with a wink.

  I gasped, not knowing how to respond. The proposition was tempting…staying holed up inside with this flawless person and do who knows what all day…but I wasn’t quite ready for that. Though my memories were coming back and I felt comfortable around Vincent, I wasn’t ready to go there; something inside me told me to wait.

  “Um,” I choked out, flustered. “How about hiking?”

  “You sure about that?” Vincent asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “Yes, why?”

  “Just checking. We have to leave tomorrow so I want to make sure we do something you really want to do.”

  “Why do we have to leave tomorrow?” I quickly asked, ignoring his suggestive tone.

  “Work. I left an important client when I came to see you after the accident.” Vincent was uncharacteristically tense in his response.

  “Oh, I see. Somebody more important than me?” I joked.

  “No one is more important than you, Allison.” Vincent’s tone turned serious then softened a bit. “But it is something important nonetheless that I have to take care of.”

  “Okay, that’s not a problem,” I playfully toyed. “I get it. You have work to get done and can’t spend all of your time entertaining me.”

  Vincent got up and walked behind me and wrapped me in an embrace. His touch was noticeably cooler than it had been when we first woke. “I would love to spend every waking minute with you and have you all to myself.”

  Vincent took me to his favorite spot in the woods on the east side of the island to watch the sunrise. This area was particularly dense with pine trees and shrubs that ever so slightly thinned as we neared the shore. It was apparent that Vincent knew the spot well as he walked directly to our destination without the assistance of a path.

  “Here we are,” Vincent said looking up the trunk of a tall pine. The tree looked like a staircase with branches spiraling from the base up into the sky.

  “Here we are,” I repeated looking around. The horizon was hidden by the landscape and didn’t appear to be the best spot to see the sun rise.

  Vincent chuckled at my sarcasm. “I’m telling you, this is the perfect place to watch the sunrise.”

  “I could see how it would be perfect…if only we could see the horizon.”

  Vincent laughed harder. “Oh Allison, come on,” he beckoned as he leapt onto a branch, extending his hand to me.

  I gawked at his hand. “You can’t be serious?”

  Vincent shook his hand towards me and nodded his head in encouragement.

  “You want me,” I paused in disbelief, “to climb a tree, to watch the sunrise?”

  “Mmm hmm.”

  “Me? Clumsy little ole me?”

  “Yes, Allison. Trust me, you can do this. And the view is worth it!”

  I scoffed at the ground, not knowing what to say. Vincent was patiently waiting for me to grab his hand. He looked confident in what we were about to embark on, his chin strong, his eyes glowing with excitement.

  “Well, all right. But if I break an arm, you have a lot of explaining to do to Jenna.”

  We both laughed as I grabbed Vincent’s hand. He pulled me up to the branch he was standing on. His touch sent a tingling sensation over my cold skin.

  “Just go slow,” I pleaded.

  “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Allison. You can keep up.”

  Vincent bounded to a branch above us and then to another above that. I cautiously grabbed the next branch which looked like it could snap under my weight. I hoisted myself up and then grabbed the next branch and lifted myself onto it. Vincent peered down at me from his perch with an approving nod.

  “I know you can move faster than that,” he teased.

  He then took off, appearing to hop about ten feet up vertically, but I knew that was impossible. His motion was fluid and graceful, quite the opposite of my guarded ascent. But I was up for a challenge. If he was going to showboat, then I was going to try to give him a good performance as well.

  “All right smarty pants,” I whispered.

  I crouched on the branch and grabbed it with my hands, launching myself at the next branch. But instead of landing on the next branch, I landed next to a beaming Vincent. His smile stretched tightly across his face, his eyes almost beckoning me to follow him. Before I even had a chance to contemplate what I had just done, or figure out how I had done it, Vincent was gone. He moved up the tree at a steady pace and then disappeared from sight. I stared up the tree looking for any sign of him.

  “You better hurry or you are going to miss the sunrise,” he called.

  I scoffed, again not knowing what to make of this situation but didn’t think about it too long. I hunched down and sprang up a few branches, bouncing off of those to the next and then another. I felt like I was flying, like nothing could stop me.

  “Hey, where you going?”

  I stopped and looked around. Vincent was a few branches below me.

  “You keep going to the top of this tree,” he warned, “and you’ll tip it.”

  “Oh,” I sighed, perplexed about how I had just sprung up the tree so fast. “How did I pass you?”

  “Mus
t be the adrenaline,” Vincent joked. “Come here.”

  He held out his hand and assisted me down to where he stood. A sense of calm and relaxation washed over me, and I chalked it up to the beautiful view. I looked out to the east over the treetops and spotted the horizon. The blue gray sky had a hint of purple and seemingly stretched on for miles. The lake was calm and smooth like a piece of polished glass. Seagulls drifted through the air. The slightest hint of yellow began to peek over the water’s edge.

  “This is amazing,” I breathed.

  We sat there and watched the sun slowly rise as if it were emerging from the water itself. The yellow tinge turned into a perfect half circle, then into a brilliant orange ball. It rose high into the gray autumn sky, casting its warmth over the lake. Birds gleefully danced through rays that slowly skimmed their way over the lake, reaching the island’s shore. A welcoming warmth landed on us. It was a brisk, cool morning and the sun’s heat felt good against my cold skin. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, taking in the moment. What a perfect way to start off the day. I looked over at Vincent.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked. The side of his face was covered in a rash.

  “Oh, just a little sensitivity to the sun, you know. It makes my blood boil.”

  I noticed my neck had started to burn like it had yesterday when Jenna drove me home from the hospital. I rubbed and scratched at it hoping for relief but it only made it worse. “I know what you mean,” I responded.

  “Let’s go,” Vincent said.

  “Yeah, before we both get sunburns!”

  Vincent chortled, “Yeah, something like that.”

  It was an ideal day to hike the woods on Rattlesnake Island. The gray sky was frosted over with a thin layer of clouds that shielded our sensitive skin from the sun. The temperature was cool, typical for this time of year, with a chilly breeze blowing in over the lake.

  Vincent and I talked about everything; it was like meeting him for the first time. In fact, he told me so much about me that if felt like I was meeting me for the first time. We talked again about how we met and several of our dates thereafter. Vincent had flown us to New York on our first date to see a Broadway play. I learned more about Vincent’s medical supply business. He was a very hands-on business owner traveling all over the world to meet personally with his clients. He explained that when he was gone, I frequented the coffee shop where we had met. It was there that I sat curled up on the couch by the fire reading. He also insisted that I did take up gardening to help pass the time, and my yard was living proof of that.

  We talked about family; me being an only child, he having four siblings. Both of our parents were deceased and family was very important to us both. Vincent was close with his siblings, three brothers and one sister. They were so close that the siblings joined Vincent in his business. I asked if I had met his siblings in the past year but Vincent explained that they lived all over the world supporting the family business and I hadn’t met them yet. I commented how close I used to be with Matt’s family, since I didn’t have any siblings. Vincent didn’t seem to mind that I brought up Matt’s name. In fact, we talked about Matt, at least what I could remember. However, Vincent was already aware of most of what I told him…how Matt and I met, when we got married, where we lived in Buzzard Hill. Of course I didn’t remember sharing any of this as these memories were buried somewhere in my mind, blocked by the impact of my accident. Vincent was even able to fill in a few details for me, mostly around Matt’s accident.

  It really was a good day and I felt like I had made a lot of progress. Sporadic memories popped into my head, even some of the phone calls that Jenna and I shared over the past few years. Quite a few memories came to mind of my recent travels with Vincent; he had apparently turned me into quite the world traveler. Together we had visited Paris, Rome, Egypt and New Zealand. It appeared I had assumed a bit of a fairy tale lifestyle over the past year.

  It was all starting to come together, and much more quickly than I had ever thought possible. I loved what I was learning about this life I could not remember. I was still sad when I thought about Matt’s passing, but the more I talked about it and the more my memory came back, I felt that time had healed my wounds and that I had moved on. I would always keep Matt in my heart; he was my one true love, but I had to move on with my life and I couldn’t think of anyone more perfect to do that with than Vincent.

  We arrived back at the cottage as the sun was setting and were greeted with a dinner table set for two complete with candles and chilled champagne.

  “How did you manage this?” I asked.

  “The island’s personal chef. I called him before we ran out this morning. I hope you’re hungry.”

  I wasn’t hungry at all, though I couldn’t remember the last time I had eaten. I thought that I should probably eat something so Vincent didn’t worry about me.

  “It smells delicious,” I said as Vincent pulled out my chair. He grabbed the champagne and poured me a glass but returned the bottle to the chiller before pouring his glass.

  “Aren’t you having anything to drink?”

  “I am,” he responded. He opened the wine refrigerator. “But not champagne.”

  Vincent pulled out a dark green corked bottle with a label I vaguely recognized. It was a black label with a crimson red diamond created out of curved flowing lines and some sort of crest in the center.

  “Red wine?” I asked.

  Vincent smirked and let out a little chuckle. I wasn’t sure what was so funny about my question.

  “Yes,” he responded.

  “Can I have some?” I would much rather drink wine than champagne.

  “Allison, please. That’s a $750 bottle of champagne I just opened for you. You can’t let that go to waste.”

  I didn’t think I was much of a champagne drinker and I certainly had no idea I had acquired a taste for such expensive champagne. But Vincent’s comment made me feel silly and ungrateful and apparently this came through in my expression.

  “Besides, you don’t like this wine,” Vincent stated, apparently trying to make me feel better. “It requires a…well, let’s just say an acquired taste.”

  We dined on filet mignon and perch which was fresh from the lake. I didn’t have much of an appetite and picked at my food. It appeared Vincent didn’t have much of an appetite either as he barely ate anything off of his dish. He was quite thirsty, though, finishing off four glasses of wine. Somehow, the alcohol didn’t have any effect on him, but then again, the champagne wasn’t really affecting me either. After dinner we enjoyed a dip in the hot tub with more wine and champagne. Our conversation continued to flow freely, mostly Vincent telling me about our escapades and me chiming in when a memory popped in my mind. We concluded the conversation with things we still wanted to do with our lives.

  “I want to travel more,” I said.

  “And where would you like to visit, Allison?”

  “Seeing as I don’t remember Paris, Rome, Egypt or New Zealand, I would like to revisit those places. But I would also like to go to Australia. And Russia. Oh, and a trip to the Arctic Circle might be fun!”

  “All of these things are possible,” Vincent said.

  “Really?”

  “Really.”

  “Well what about you? What do you want to do in life?”

  “What do I want to do in life?” Vincent’s voice faded on the last word he spoke as if contemplating the meaning of it. “All I want is to spend every waking day and sleepless night with you, no matter where it is.”

  I stared at Vincent, taking in his comment. How did I deserve this man, this life? He was so perfect – handsome, mannered, a hard worker and he apparently wanted to spoil me. I couldn’t understand how someone like him would want to be with someone like me. Not that I didn’t think I was deserving; after all I had been through I definitely deserved happiness! But it was like we were cut from different cloths. He was a world traveler; before meeting him, I had never ventured beyond the Caribbean
. He was a very rich business owner; I had means but only due to my tragic past. We had so many similarities yet we were still so different. I had no idea how our social circles ever crossed.

  “Come on, let’s get to bed. We have to leave early in the morning.”

  *****

  I was actually tired and the comfort of the bed was welcoming. Vincent tucked me in and gave me a gentle kiss, ever the gentleman, returning to the living room to log on to his computer to get some work done. I lay there for only a few minutes, once again making shapes out of the wood grain, before I fell asleep.

  The dream is back, but it isn’t the beautiful garden I had previously dreamt about. No, this forest is different. It is dark and cold and not welcoming at all. The air smells putrid; it is rank and vile and sour…everything I would imagine death to smell like if death had a scent. The trees are barren, the brown leaves matted against the ground. Only twisted, contorted branches fill the space above me, stretching out into the black, starless sky. There is no color here; the landscape is drab in various shades of black, brown and gray. There’s no sign of life.

  I look around, not knowing where I am or where I am supposed to go. And then, a pain in my stomach knocks me to my knees. It is a burning sensation like nothing I have ever felt before, as if someone has set fire to my stomach and a burning fireball is rotating within me. I let out a howl, hoping the pain will subside, but it only gets worse. The fiery pit throws out sharp pangs as if trying to claw its way out of me. I throw both clenched fists into my stomach in an attempt to detract from the pain to no avail. The fiery rays climb their way up my throat, leaving behind a scorching trail of pain before it settles in the back of my throat. The heat dries my mouth and gives me a thirst like nothing I have ever experienced. The pain is unbearable. I open my mouth to yell but nothing comes out.