Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  “Wait a damned minute. I don’t act like a kid.”

  She raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Are you sure?”

  “All right maybe a little, but it’s only in fun.”

  “It’s not fun when someone’s feelings get hurt.”

  “Did I hurt your feelings, Mesa?”

  “It’s not important.”

  “Yes, it is. If Mom found out you acted like an idiot, she’d tan your hide,” Joel answered even though the question wasn’t directed toward him.

  “I’m too old for a whuppin’.”

  “Not from Mom. You know how she is about disrespecting women.” Joel stopped the truck before he went around to open her door.

  “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “Opening my door.”

  “Sorry. I don’t think about it. It’s been ingrained in us since we were old enough to know manners.”

  “It’s still a nice gesture and I appreciate it.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “I’m headed to my place. If Mom sees me, she really will tan my hide.” Josh touched his chin. “Damn, dude! Did you have to hit me so fuckin’ hard?”

  “Don’t think I’m not tellin’ her what you did and yes I did. You were an ass.”

  “I already apologized, Joel. Let it go.”

  She placed her hand on Joel’s arm to get his attention. “It’s fine. He did apologize.”

  Joshua kissed her cheek before he headed off toward what she assumed to be his house. She could see a small, cabin like structure outlined in the distance. She’d have to check it out in the daylight although she didn’t want to encourage Joshua, only Joel. “Let me clean up the cut on your lip.”

  He touched it and winced. “You don’t have to. It’ll be okay.”

  “You were gallant in standing up for me the way you did. It’s the least I could do.” They walked toward the main lodge in companionable silence. She really wasn’t sure what to think with Joel. He acted like he was attracted to her, but then he wouldn’t go against the rules of the ranch it seemed. They could be friends only, she supposed, although she wanted him hot between the sheets.

  As they walked in the side doorway, she caught a glimpse of a cowboy walking out through the front door and wondered who he was. She thought she’d met all of those working the ranch during dinner. “Do you have someone not in the family working as a wrangler at the ranch?”

  “No. Why?”

  “I thought I saw someone I didn’t recognize walk outside.”

  Joel shrugged. “It was probably one of my brothers.”

  “Maybe. He looked older.”

  “My dad?”

  “Could have been I guess.”

  “Let me grab your key from the office. Your room is upstairs.”

  “Sure,” she answered although he’d already walked away. A chill raced down her back and she rubbed her arms. Weird. It’s still like seventy degrees outside even though her watch read eleven when she glanced at the dial.

  Joel came back with a grin on his face but frowned the moment his lip started to bleed again. “Damn Josh. My lip hurts.”

  “Poor baby. You’ll be fine. He got the worst part of the deal, I think.” She grabbed his hand and said, “Lead the way.”

  They walked toward the wooden staircase at the back of the room hand in hand, but she stopped to look behind her for a moment.

  “Something wrong?”

  “I thought…” She shook her head and started walking again. “Never mind.”

  He led her up the first flight of stairs to the door in front of them and handed her the old fashioned key on a tag. “Wow. I haven’t seen one of these in a long time. I didn’t think anyone used these anymore.”

  “We do. We don’t have the fancy credit card sliders like most other hotels and motels. This is a small, family run dude ranch.”

  “I wasn’t critizing, Joel. I think it’s cool you guys are regular country people.” She slipped the key into the lock and opened the door. Mesa walked over to turn on the lamp on the bedside table, bathing the room in soft, muted light. Dominating the smaller room stood a double bed with a beautiful wedding ring comforter. Her clean clothes sat in a nice neat pile by the pillows. A wooden dresser sat at the end of the bed and to the right. The single large window overlooked the garden behind the house. Something she would have to explore tomorrow. She loved gardens. Right now, it looked spooky bathed in moonlight but romantic at the same time.

  “The garden is my mother’s favorite place to hang out. She’s got lots of flowers back there, a sitting bench, a swing, and a barbeque. We throw parties out there during the cooler months.”

  “Texas does get warm in the summer.”

  “It’s been pretty here this week. Not too hot and not too cold.”

  “Just for me.”

  He laughed. “Maybe.”

  “Except for the rain shower today.”

  “Those are normal for this time of year too.”

  “Just my luck.”

  “If you give me the keys to your car, I’ll grab your suitcase and bring it up.”

  “All right.” She handed him the keys. “On one condition. You let me wash the cut on your lip.”

  “Yes, nurse.”

  She startled a little, and then smiled.

  “What?”

  “I always wanted to be a nurse.”

  “Then why didn’t you?” He held up his hand. “Wait to answer that until I get back.” A moment later, he closed the door behind him, disappearing from sight.

  Mute voices drifted through the wall. Must be some other guests in the room next door. The man’s voice rose in anger. She cringed knowing where those tones usually led. She heard a slap, and then muffled crying a moment later. The sound died away after a few seconds as if it had never been there in the first place.

  Mesa frowned, rubbing her arms as the room dropped in temperature like the air conditioner kicked on, but it hadn’t. She shook her head and went to the connecting bathroom to fetch a warm washcloth to clean Joel’s lip. The bathroom was decorated in the typical old-fashioned way with wood accents. A claw foot tub with a shower curtain to one end, and a large showerhead reminded her of the rain showerhead she had at home. Maybe tomorrow night she would take a long soak in the huge tub. A soft knock on the door brought her out of her musings.

  She quickly grabbed a washcloth from those hanging on the rack, stuck it under some hot water and went to answer the door. She opened it to find no one on the other side. After she leaned out, she glanced down the hallway to both the left and right without seeing anyone nearby. “All right, Joel. That’s not funny. You’re scaring me.”

  “What are you talking about, Mesa?” he asked, coming up the stairs in front of her. “Who are you talking to?”

  “Uh. No one, I guess.”

  “I’ve got your suitcase.”

  She stepped aside to allow him into the room. “Just set it on the bed and I’ll unpack it in a minute.” She told him to sit on the edge of the bed as she took a spot between his spread thighs. She exhaled forcibly through her lips so she could focus on the task at hand and not his hard thighs now encasing her lower half. The cut on his lip didn’t look too deep. With her finger inside the cloth, she dabbed at the cut.

  “Ouch.”

  “Sorry.”

  “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me.”

  He winced as she dabbed again. It had to hurt, she knew but all she could think about was kissing those full lips. She wanted to see his eyes dark with desire. Feel his hands on her bare flesh. Have those lips on other places of her body like her breasts, her nipples, or her clit.

  “You okay?” he whispered, glancing up through those impossibly long eyelashes.

  “Yeah.” Her heart pounded behind her ribcage.

  “Your pulse is fluttering.”

  “I know.”

  “Why?” His voice continued in a soft, coaxing tone reminding her of how he spoke to
the horse while she gave birth to her foal.

  “It’s nothing, Joel.”

  “Do you want me to kiss you?”

  She closed her eyes and licked her lips. God, do I ever want you to kiss me. More than my next breath. More than a winning lottery ticket. More than…

  The next thing she knew, he had twisted her around so she lay flat on the bed with him hovering over her. He bent down and brushed his lips against hers so softly she wasn’t sure if he’d actually kissed her.

  “You shouldn’t be doing this.”

  “I know.”

  He kissed her again, this time with his tongue softly brushing her lips as if to ask for permission to deepen it. Her lips parted of their own accord without her even thinking beyond how his lips felt against hers. The dip of his tongue tore a moan from her mouth. She tangled her hands in the front of his western shirt, wanting nothing more than to remove the barrier between his skin and hers.

  The fire burning in her gut prompted her to return kiss for kiss, touch for touch. The caress of his fingers against the side of her breast brought her straight up on the bed, breaking the kiss.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I…uh. We shouldn’t do this. Remember your mother’s rule.”

  “I know, but I can’t help but want to touch you. Kiss you.” He ran his fingers down her cheek. “You’re a beautiful woman, Mesa. I’m not sorry.”

  She touched her fingers to her lips as he turned to go.

  “Goodnight, Mesa.”

  “Goodnight, Joel.”

  Chapter Six

  “Stupid, Joel. Really, really stupid!” He threw the horse’s bridle across the tack room before he raked his fingers through his hair, knocking his Stetson from his head.

  “Whoa. What’s got your panties in a twist?” Jacob asked, putting one of the saddles back on the rack. “You aren’t usually this strung up.”

  “Nothin’.”

  “It doesn’t sound like nothin’ to me. Throwing tack usually means you’re pissed.”

  “Fine. I’m pissed.”

  Jacob removed his hat and tossed it on the desk in the corner. “About?”

  “A woman.”

  “So?”

  “It’s Mesa.” He paced from one side of the tack room to the other with agitated steps. The thing with Mesa had him wound up tighter than a string of barbwire.

  “Ah.”

  “I kissed her.”

  “Yeah, we all saw it out by the bonfire.”

  “No, after that. More than once.”

  “I still don’t understand what the big deal is.”

  “I can’t get involved with someone who is only going to be here for a few days. It’s crazy.”

  “So you have a quick fling. What’s the problem?”

  He stopped and turned to face his brother. “The big deal is she’s not the kind of girl you have a quick fling with, Jacob. She’s a nice girl. The kind of girl you settle down with.”

  “Seriously, Joel. Settle down?”

  “I’m not thinkin’ of settlin’ down, idiot, but she’s not the barfly type.”

  “Maybe she is. You never know.” He picked up the bridle and hung it on the rack. “Maybe you should ask her?”

  “Ask her? Really? What do I say? How about a quick fuck, Mesa?”

  “Sure. Why not?”

  Joel picked up his Stetson and put it back on his head. “Maybe. I mean she’s attracted to me from what I can tell. She definitely got into the kiss we shared.”

  “Just fuck her already, would ya,” Jason added, coming in from the corral. “I’ll take her off your hands if you want. Not like she could tell the difference between us anyway.”

  “I bet she could.”

  “I bet she couldn’t.”

  Joel stuck out his hand. “How much?”

  “A hundred bucks,” Jason answered.

  “You’re on.”

  “Fine. After dinner, I’ll take her up to her room and turn on the charm. I bet she kisses me and lets me feel her up.”

  Joel squinted and snapped, “I bet she calls a halt to everything after the first kiss if not before.”

  “You know very few people outside of the family can tell the difference between us, Joel. I bet she can’t.”

  “I think she’s more into me and will be able to tell right away.” Joel kicked a rock near the toe of his boot back out into the corral. He sounded confident to his brother, but he wasn’t so sure. What if Mesa couldn’t tell the difference? What if she liked Jason better than him? No, this is nuts. I know what our kiss was like. We could set the sheets on fire if I could get her between them. “I know what I felt when we kissed.”

  “She’s just a woman, Joel. Nothin’ special.”

  “You’re wrong there, Jason. She is special.”

  *****

  The dinner bell clanged and Mesa frowned. She hadn’t seen Joel all day. Was he avoiding her? Probably. Men didn’t take well to being put off when they had sex on the brain. Stopping their kiss the night before wasn’t a bad idea, but maybe he felt like there wasn’t anything to gain now by hanging out with her.

  As Mesa made her way down the stairs to the dining room, the sound of voices got louder. A bus full of tourist had arrived earlier in the day, making the whole place buzz like a swarm of bees. Many of them went riding earlier, leaving her the run of the ranch house to herself. She’d taken her laptop into the main hall, set it up on one of the tables and managed to type out the beginning of a new novel called Mission: Cowboy. She cringed. She wasn’t sure she liked it, but she figured a new title would come to her when the characters started adding their voices to the storyline. She wasn’t a plotter when it came to her stories so everything depended on what they said.

  Stopping on the stairs, she looked over the group. All the tourists were back and the place was packed to the gills. The family waited at their table for the group to be served while they chatted about their day. Joel sat at the end of the table next to an empty chair she hoped might be for her. Or was it Joshua? Maybe Jason? Damn. From this distance she wasn’t sure which one was which? Damn it.

  “Mesa, come sit by me, darlin’.” One of the three waved from the end of the table.

  She chewed on her lips a moment and then started down the stairs. Okay. Joel? Shit. I’m not sure. She took the seat he held out for her, dropping into it with little grace. Nice, Mesa.

  “How was your day?”

  “Great. I got a lot of writing done in the main lodge.”

  “Awesome.”

  The rest of the group had been served, so the family got up to get their own plates, which included her. Joel or whichever one of them this was standing next to her, grinned and motioned for her to take the spot in front of him. His cologne drifted to her nose. It seemed different somehow. She looked closer. No, she couldn’t really tell if it was Joel, Jason, or Joshua. Well, yes she could because Joshua had a small cut near his chin and Joel had a small abrasion near his bottom lip from their fight at the bar last night. This must be Jason. But what was he up to? Was he deliberately playing like she didn’t know the difference? Surely they didn’t think she was that stupid.

  “I enjoyed our kiss last night,” he whispered near her ear.

  Okay, she didn’t like this game. What the hell was going on? “Really? I’m glad.”

  “Me too. I want to take you out in the moonlight tonight after dinner. You game?”

  “Okay.” She frowned. Really? She grabbed a plate in order to get her dinner as the conversation lagged. Discussing this in front of his family wasn’t a great idea. She glanced around looking for Joel. He stood at the back of the line frowning. What kind of game were they playing?

  She returned to her place at the table, setting her plate down first before she retrieved a glass of lemonade and a dessert. Jason slid his hand along her shoulder as he took the seat next to her. Now she knew why the cologne was different, he wasn’t Joel. Why was Joel giving her the cold shoulder? What did they plan? />
  The conversation around the table focused on the day’s labors. They’d moved cattle from the south pasture to the north pasture. Several of the cattle had dropped their calves already making everyone worry it might be too late in the season and they would suffer without extra feed. She could hear many of the tourists talking about their ride on the horses that day and she mentally planned to do some riding of her own tomorrow. Horseback riding was one of her favorite past times. She wanted to explore the ranch more with Joel, though. Not on a strict trail ride.

  “Would you like to go riding tomorrow?” Jason asked.

  “Um, yes I would.”

  “Great. I’ll saddle a couple of horses. I can meet you at the stable around nine in the morning.”

  “Okay.” What the hell? This whole thing stinks.

  They finished dinner in silence while the rest of the family talked about different topics. The moment she finished, Jason grabbed her plate to deposit it into the dirty dish bin.

  “Walk with me.”

  “All right,” she answered, deciding to see where this whole thing might be leading. Did Joel push her off on his brother because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying he wasn’t attracted to her? Did Jason think she wanted him?

  She let Jason take her hand and walk her out the front door of the main lodge to the chairs lining the porch. Even though the full moon happened the night before, it still shone bright enough to see the walkway.

  “You look beautiful in the moonlight.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You know, the kiss we shared last night blew my socks off. I wish you hadn’t made me leave.”

  Frowning, she opened her mouth to tell him she knew he wasn’t Joel, but he bent his head and kissed her full on the mouth. She quickly stepped back and smacked him across the face. “How dare you.”

  “What?”

  “Do you think I’m stupid? Do both of you think I wouldn’t know the difference between you, Jason?”

  “You knew I wasn’t Joel?”

  “Hell yes! Even if I hadn’t figured it out at dinner, I would have known from the kiss.”

  “Most people can’t tell the difference between us.”