by Liz Crowe
Sex—both good and bad—was intrinsically linked to the experience. “I may as well enjoy it while I can.”
I didn’t realize that I’d spoken the words out loud until Kirk’s eyes hardened.
“I didn’t mean that to be as dire as it sounded,” I said quickly. “Can we stop talking about all of this now? I’m sleepy.”
“You’re wide awake. What are you afraid of telling me?”
I pressed my head deeper into the pillow, cursing him for wanting to drag things out of me. Sometimes I missed the days when he didn’t want to talk about everything. “If I told you that, it’d defeat the purpose of being afraid.” And that was the whole point.
“You’re no more fucked up than I am, Silver.”
“What happens to us after it’s over—and I don’t mean us as in couple—I just….”
“We’ll probably buy a lot of cats.”
I laughed so hard that I started coughing again. “Nice,” I grumbled.
Kirk rubbed my back until the fit subsided.
“We’ll be okay,” he promised, but the conviction didn’t quite show in his eyes. “They’ll probably lock me in a room with a counselor before setting me lose on society again. I’ll make sure they make arrangements for you, too. Whatever you need.”
“I’ll need people who won’t look at me like a freak. What am I going to tell people? It can’t be the truth. They’ll go all pitiful on me until they find out what I did, and then it’ll turn into the blame game. That is, if it doesn’t start out at the blame game. ‘What the hell were you doing that you don’t even remember being abducted?’”
“Gabe drugged you, it knocked out your memory; it wasn’t anything you did. It’s not your fault. We’re programmed to survive. Hell, we’re programmed to want contact and connections with people. There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“Still. I’m looking forward to going back home and getting the short end of the stick whether I tell anyone the truth or not.”
Kirk nuzzled my cheek. “You and me both, Sugar.”
“First time you called me that, it made my skin crawl. Now I can’t get enough.” I took a deep breath and watched him for a few minutes.
I couldn’t help but wonder what he would be going back to, who he would be going back to, but I didn’t dare bring it up. My eyes fluttered closed. Lips pressed against my temple, and the arm on my stomach gripped tighter around me, as Kirk settled next to me and prepared to go back to sleep himself.
Chapter Nineteen
Interlude Disrupted
We expected the rushed “Initiation” to mean that Milo had changed his plans and was coming early, but for the next week, everyone, including Ross, left us to our own business, and to wonder why everyone was being suspiciously quiet.
I assumed that everyone had their own way of preparing for the head badass to show up. For Kirk and me, it was gathering around the kitchen table, shoving food into our mouths and hunkered over a crossword puzzle. It was a strange atmosphere—there was no more Master and slave stuff behind closed doors, but we didn’t really talk about it either. Instead, we were more interested in the temporary distractions that made us forget where we were and what was coming.
Sometimes we cooked side-by-side in the kitchen, and even once, I attempted making breakfast on my own. But at burnt eggs, Kirk swore to never leave me unattended again.
Not that I could really ever get more than ten feet away from him for more than a few minutes anyway. He almost refused to leave me in the apartment alone, even for brief business.
Kirk’s phone jumped, and I drew back, instantly expecting the worst. He put one hand on my knee, and flipped his phone over with the other, drawing his thumb over the screen and typing in his security code.
8-4-7-3. I wasn’t sure if he realized that I’d now watched him enter it a few dozen times, or that I’d memorized it, for whatever reason, but he didn’t seem to care that I was looking right at the phone.
“Doc wants to see you so he can check your lungs and give you a birth control shot.”
“Joy of joys,” I muttered. I hated needles, and the only reason I’d gone on the shot in the first place was because I was horrible at remembering to take the pill. One pregnancy scare was enough for me. The checkup seemed particularly redundant since Milo’s arrival the next day meant it’d all be over—one way or another.
“Go get dressed,” Kirk said, picking up our empty plates. He was usually fully dressed by breakfast, but I preferred my robe. Especially since it covered more than anything else in my current wardrobe and was far more comfortable.
I put on a pouty expression as he turned back to face me.
“My being nice to you apparently isn’t serving you well.” He crossed his arms, and I watched his muscles move under his tattoos. He took one step toward me, and my body felt heavier in the seat.
I pushed him just as much as ever, somehow finding pleasure in his reactions.
In having his attention focused directly on me—as if it wasn’t usually, there was just something about the intensity of his glare when I pressed his buttons.
He pressed one hand on the table in front of me and leaned into my face. My body tensed, but I managed to hold the daring smirk to my face, even as his breath brushed across my skin.
Hooking a finger under my chin, he pulled me to my feet. “We don’t have time for this.”
“Lately, time is all we have had.”
“All the more reason to get this over with.”
I hummed and pressed against him.
“I meant going upstairs to….” He took a deep breath, apparently losing his words. Swallowing audibly, he pressed me against the table. “Why do you have to press your limits now?”
“Because I have a bad feeling about leaving the room,” I said.
“So, your plan is to make me walk around with a raging hard-on,” he grunted but didn’t step away.
“We could remedy that.”
Kirk shook his head as he lifted my hips, and I wrapped my legs around him.
“You—” he shook his head. “Sometimes, I seriously question your sanity.”
“Why? Because I’d rather be locked up here having sex with you than,” I waved my hand to the door, “out there?”
“And you’ve decided to use sex to get what you want now?” He captured my mouth in a kiss that ended too soon, and then pulled me away and sat me on my feet. “Get dressed, Silver. I’ll make it all worth your while when we get back.”
Smirking, he patted my ass and waved me on to the living room.
I stomped away, rolling my eyes when I knew he couldn’t see me. So much for that delay.
“You know,” he drawled, leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, “you still look pretty sexy when you sulk.”
I stopped, looked over my shoulder and stuck out my tongue. If that wouldn’t get the fucker’s blood curling, nothing would. He merely raised an eyebrow and turned his back.
I huffed and shook my robe off, hooking it over one of the bedposts and pulling on a tank and a pair of shorts—surely acceptable attire for a trip to the doctor, although I still hadn’t been able to decipher the dress code here.
When I came out of the bedroom, Kirk hooked the leash to my collar. He hadn’t used it since my first week here.
“Seems you’re getting a little out of control.”
I lowered my head but peeked up at him, “Are you really complaining?”
Making a sound in his throat, he crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re worrying me a bit.”
I relaxed my shoulders and leaned against the wall. “I really do have a bad feeling.”
“Becoming reclusive after an interrupted week?”
“Last time—” my nails dug into my palms as my hands tightened. “I’m—I want control over something. I don’t just want to sit around here and have to jump when someone tells me what to do.”
Kirk held up his palm, and I unclenched a hand, placing my fingers against his.<
br />
“I wish I could give you that,” he whispered against my ear, “I’ll get it back for you. Just play your part and give me a little more time.” He sealed his promise with a nip to my neck, then straightened and gave me a wink.
I nodded, unsure if my voice would be steady enough to talk.
*****
The infirmary was cold. Colder than usual, it seemed, but the last time I had been here, I wasn’t conscious of much except pain and crazy hallucinations. The doctor was nowhere to be seen, but Kirk led me to the exam table and I climbed up. He removed the leash and left a peck on my forehead.
I kept my head down, hands loose at my sides, playing the perfect slave—at least as close as I could get.
The doctor came in from the side door, syringe already in hand. I closed my eyes, ignoring the rapid thumps in my chest as cold alcohol touched my arm.
Next to me, Kirk spun the chain leash, curling it around his hand then reversing the direction to uncurl and curl it again. I concentrated on the spinning leash until the needle pierced my skin and muscle. I counted off the seconds as the liquid seeped into my body.
The doctor pulled the stethoscope away from his neck. I sat forward as he listened to my lungs.
“Sounds like she’s all clear,” Clarence said.
Can we go now?
“Anything else need checked while you’re here?” He spoke only to Kirk, as if I wasn’t there. Apparently, he only acknowledged my existence if I was in critical condition.
“No, she seems to be healing.”
“I’m sure Ross will be happy to hear that.”
Even without looking at him, I could feel Kirk stiffen.
“I recommend restricted activity for at least another week,” the doctor said. “I’ll make sure Ross knows. He let things get out of hand—”
“He pushed things out of hand,” Kirk corrected.
“Not really any more than usual. You just don’t try to see it.”
Kirk was getting pissed, and there was nothing I could rightfully do to ease his temper. The doctor stepped in front of me, closer to Kirk, but that meant his back was not to me. I looked over his shoulder and shook my head.
Kirk sighed audibly and ran a hand through his hair.
“Not so easy when the girl is your responsibility, eh?”
“No,” Kirk growled. “Thanks.”
Kirk didn’t even fasten the leash back on my collar before grabbing my arm and dragging me toward the door. Inside the elevator, he released me to answer his buzzing phone. I caught a glimpse of the screen.
The incoming message from Miles simply read, “Incoming.”
I didn’t dare ask what it meant until we got back to the apartment, but as soon as the door closed, I opened my mouth. “Wha—”
“Get in the shower,” he ordered. There was one tone I didn’t mess with. I nodded and stripped off my clothes on the way to the tub. As soon as I turned on the water, I heard Kirk’s voice.
Apparently he wanted me in the shower so I couldn’t hear what was going on.
A few minutes later, he entered the bathroom, dropped his clothes and stepped into the tub behind me. He put a hand around me, but I shook him away.
“Milo will be here early,” he said. “I wasn’t hiding from you. If you can be feisty and difficult, so can I.”
I elbowed him in the ribs and he pulled my arms back, sucking at my neck.
He may as well have sucked the air out of my lungs. I felt myself go weak as he pressed me against the wall. My nipples hardened against the cold tile. He pulled my hips away from the wall and slid his fingers inside of me.
My back arched and the tile vibrated against my skin as I moaned.
Kirk pressed his cock to my entrance and thrust into me, barely leaving me time to prepare. He reached around me and put my hands around the bar in the shower. “You might want to hold on.”
He rubbed my clit as he pulled me another step away from the wall, leaving me hanging from the bar until I was bent at a nearly ninety degree angle.
I moaned as he sank into a steady rhythm, and then I felt a finger press at my ass. I tensed, then my body became tied up in the pleasure and I loosened. His fingers slid in slowly, and then matched the rhythm of his cock. He added a second finger. The motions in my ass became a counterpoint to his cock, igniting every nerve.
My knees started to buckle and I locked them to stay on my feet. The beginning of the orgasm shuddered through me and Kirk picked up his pace. He kept up his assault as I rode the orgasm, then he wrapped both hands against my hips and plunged harder and deeper until he shuddered and moaned behind me.
I used the bar to right myself, but Kirk pulled me against his body, running his hands down my front and pushing my legs apart to rub my still sensitive pussy.
I twitched and mewled as he washed the area clean before starting on the rest of my body.
By the time he was done, I was so sated, I couldn’t even bring myself to ask what the call was about, but as we left the bathroom, someone knocked on the door, and I didn’t have to.
“Look at me, Silver,” Kirk whispered, pulling my face as close to his as possible. “Do everything you’re told, no hesitation.”
Oh, god. The whole reason behind the quickie was to keep me busy so I wouldn’t worry about whatever I was going to see behind that door. Kirk shooed me to the couch, “Sit.”
Chapter Twenty
End of the Dream
I tightened my hands in my lap then released them again. There’d be no more distractions, no more avoiding fate. It had come right to our door to collect whether we were ready or not.
After all of the days of avoidance, I suddenly wished that I had asked about the plan. If Milo was here, how long would it take forces to move in, and how exactly did they plan on taking a twelve story building and an entire compound. Then again, it was probably better I hadn’t asked, since knowing the truth about Kirk only made me feel more nervous. If I knew about whatever was going to go down next, I probably wouldn’t be able to function, even on a base level.
Reminding myself to at least try to look relaxed, I took a breath and tried not to cringe when I heard the door open. A cold droplet of water ran down my chest and over my breast, so I wiped it away and closed my eyes.
“Ross, I didn’t expect you,” Kirk said smoothly.
If I hadn’t already known it was a lie, I would have believed him. I had always been better at speaking my mind and sticking to my guns, but now I admired his talent, the way he wove every reaction into part of his role. I risked a glance over, at least Kirk had slipped his jeans back on, but my robe was in the bedroom, and I hadn’t had time to question his order.
Ross stepped into the room, “Milo wanted to have a look around before dinner and he’s particularly interested in meeting your slave.”
All I wanted to do was disappear from the room. Maybe I wasn’t as strong as I wanted to be, as strong as I needed to be to stand until the end.
Footsteps.
I pictured Alley in my head, her cool, relaxed features; somehow, she navigated the thin line between looking detached and engaged. She always looked interested, especially if Miles was in the room. I couldn’t master that, nor had I really been in situations where I needed to.
Ross always wanted me on the edge of terror and pain. Much as I hated to admit it, that worked to my advantage. It left me nowhere and nothing to hide. No time to think.
Under their quiet observation, I was my own enemy. Don’t fidget. Don’t give yourself up.
Don’t give Kirk up.
At least two lives depended on what I needed to do. Two lives and the future of dozens, possibly hundreds of women. Where would they all end up?
“Stand up,” said an unfamiliar voice. It was thick and deep. His words were pointed and precise.
I kept my head down but rose from my seat.
A hand shot out and grasped my face. It took every bit of self-control just to keep from flinching, but he didn’t hurt m
e, he simply angled my face toward him. I lowered my eyes, avoiding his face. He was a stockier build than either Kirk or Ross, shorter, too. He wore a blue button down shirt, tucked into black dress pants and his cologne was spicy and thick.
“Looks like she’s been a handful.” His accent sounded slightly Russian, but since I was never great at placing accents, I couldn’t be entirely sure.
“She was attacked, assaulted,” Kirk said.
“Attacked and assaulted,” Milo mused. “Hmpf. She’s a slave, she served her purpose.”
Even without looking over, I knew Kirk was tense with anger. I could almost feel the energy pouring off him—riled and ready to fight.
Milo slid his hand up my back then pulled the tips of my hair down until I had to arch backward. While I was stretched out, his fingers traced down my abdomen, and I waited for their touch to become brutal, or wander between my legs, but he circled my belly button and stopped.
“You’re only good for a man’s desire, isn’t that right, slave?”
“Yes, Master.” Too many fucking masters. I hoped I was supposed to call him Master, but he probably preferred Liege or something archaic.
He turned his attention back to Kirk, while I fought the off-balance position to stay on my feet. “And she was worth killing for?”
“Gabe betrayed us; he was a danger to the entire organization.”
“And you decided that you should take care of the problem on your own. You expect me to believe it had nothing to do with this little slut?”
Don’t grimace. The only chance I had of not jerking away and spitting in his face was to stop listening to anything he said, but then I was afraid I’d miss something I had to hear. I really wished I had played more poker.
Milo let me straighten then ran his hands over my sides, before cupping my cheeks and pulling my face up to his. “I do need a beautiful slave to take the place of my favorite. Do you think you’re that slave?”
“If you wish, Master.” Hell no. The cavalry had better damn well be on its way.