Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  “Yeah, sorry about that. It was kind of crazy in there last night and my leg was bothering me. I drove Jenna home. You were amazing last night. I’ve never seen you play so well.”

  “Thanks, man.” Rick shivered and blew out a cold breath. “Think we could go inside?”

  I nodded and Rick opened the door for me. My granddad was sitting in his favorite chair reading the newspaper. “Hey, Mister Lewis,” Rick greeted.

  “Hi, Rick.”

  We went into my bedroom. I sat down on the desk chair and Rick sat on the bed. “What’s on your mind?” I asked. Rick was acting strange, sort of excited and nervous all at once.

  He glanced at the closed door and then back at me. A smile crept onto his lips. “Last night, after the game,” he began in a hushed tone, “Sam and I had sex.”

  I swallowed hard, my mouth dry. I wanted to be happy for them, but felt a pang of regret. I couldn’t speak.

  Rick gave me an odd look. “Did you hear me? We had sex.”

  “Congratulations?” I offered, unsure how to react to the news.

  “Why are you being so weird?”

  “I’m not weird. What do you expect me to say? ‘That’s great you fucked my best friend?’”

  “You’re mad at me because I had sex with my girlfriend?”

  “Rick, Sam is like my sister. I don’t know if I want to hear the details. How would you feel if I told you I hooked up with Jenna?”

  I watched Rick ponder the question and shake his head in disgust. “Okay, I see what you mean.”

  “Do you love her?” I asked, needing to know.

  “Yeah, I think I do.”

  Not exactly what I wanted to hear. I had hoped for a little more conviction. Sam and Rick’s relationship ran hot and cold they were either fighting like bitter enemies or so hot and heavy that I couldn’t stand to be around them. I guess that’s where the term ‘love-hate relationship’ came from.

  “Jake, you’re my best friend. Who better to share this with?”

  God, I wanted to wipe that stupid grin of his face. “I’m happy for you two, really.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to hear the details?” Rick asked, raising his eyebrows for effect.

  “No.”

  “I’m starving. Want to go to IHOP for pancakes?”

  I chuckled. If Rick’s mind wasn’t on basketball, it was on food. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

  The three of us sat in a booth, eating pancakes: Rick got the ‘all you can eat’ deal; Sam got whole wheat and banana; and I had buttermilk with raspberry syrup. I felt like a voyeur, watching Rick and Sam eat breakfast Rick, with his All-American good looks and muscular body; Sam, tall and leggy, with a perfect complexion and long, brunette hair. They were sitting next to one other silently eating, but they would glance at each other on occasion. I guess the only way to describe that look was one word: love. Samantha looked positively radiant with her hair pulled back in a ponytail and a dreamy expression on her face.

  When we finished breakfast, Rick got up to use the men’s room and pay the bill, leaving Sam and I alone in the booth.

  “You’re glowing,” I said, admiring her happiness.

  “He told you, didn’t he?” she asked slightly embarrassed.

  “Don’t worry, I stopped him before he got to the gory details.”

  “I wouldn’t have minded if he told you. You’re my best friend, Jake.”

  “Are you happy?”

  She nodded her head furiously, her lips curled up in a smile.

  “Then I’m happy for you, too.”

  Sam reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “You’re amazing, Jake. I hope someday you find love, too.”

  My granddad and I spent Christmas next door with the Welsh family. I don’t know how a family of six lived in such a small house, but I loved the cozy feeling of the place. Always did. Mr. and Mrs. Welsh became my honorary mom and dad after my parents died. I guess when you have a big family, one more person is no big deal. I was lucky in so many ways: I survived the accident; I had my granddad; I gained a family of brothers and sisters, thanks to the Welshes. Rick was the third of four children. His oldest siblings were John and Jason, twins who were four years older than Rick and about to graduate college. The youngest was Jenna.

  The house was filled with sound. There was holiday music, the guys cheering over the football game on the TV, the rattling of plates and dishes in the kitchen as Mrs. Welsh and Jenna prepared Christmas dinner.

  It may seem strange, but all the merriment and cheer made me just as sad as it made me happy. I snuck off from the crowd and headed for the bathroom. It was quiet there a welcome reprieve. I sat on the edge of the tub and took a few deep breaths. That seemed to help calm me down. My therapist said it was perfectly natural to have mixed feeling about the holidays. Most people who have a great loss at that time of year will forever associate that holiday with the sadness of that tragic event. But knowing it was okay to feel that way didn’t make it any easier to deal with the emotions.

  There was a light rap on the door. “Jake, are you in there?” a feminine voice asked from the other side.

  I stood, with the help of my crutch, and walked over to the closed door. I opened it to find Jenna on the other side. “Sorry, I just needed some quiet time.”

  Jenna smiled. “I don’t think there is such a thing as quite time in the Welsh household.”

  “Come on in,” I offered, moving aside to make room for her to enter.

  Jenna stepped into the bathroom, her heels clicking on the tile floor. She shut the door behind her, leaned against it and closed her eyes. She was dressed in a red velvet sleeveless dress and black stockings, her long blonde hair gently falling over her shoulders. Jenna was pretty and always had an available posse of boys who followed her around. She frequently dated, but was never serious with any one guy. That probably had something to do with the fact that she had three big brothers who would beat the crap out of anyone who tried to take advantage of her.

  “You’re right. It is quiet. That’s a nice change of pace,” she sighed, opening her eyes to meet my gaze. Jenna took a few more steps towards me. Soon we were inches apart. Her gaze never left mine. Her hazel eyes held promise. Then she wet her lips with her tongue and leaned in to kiss me.

  I was taken aback by the action my lips unmoving, my eyes wide open, watching her kiss me. It was unbelievable to comprehend any girl would want to kiss ‘Jake the cripple,' but Jenna was kissing me. I felt the tip of her tongue dart into my mouth and I moaned. I dropped my crutch, the aluminum clanging as it hit the floor, and wrapped my arms around her waist. Closing my eyes, I let go and kissed her back. Her mouth was sweet and supple, warm and wet.

  When we finally pulled apart, we were gasping for air, Jenna’s hands on my shoulders, her forehead resting on my chin. “I always wondered what it be like to kiss you, Jake. Damn, that was amazing.” She looked up at me through her thick black eyelashes and smiled. “Where did you learn to kiss like that?”

  I shrugged, feeling my cheeks grow red. “I don’t know. You’re the first girl I ever kissed.”

  “I think we should try that again,” she said, leaning in for another kiss.

  We kissed with more feeling. Jenna’s hands caressed my neck, then her fingers tangled in my hair. I tried to pull back, afraid she would feel my growing arousal. This was all brand new to me. I’d never imagined any girl would be interested in me and assumed I’d live my life alone, without physical connection. Yet, here was pretty Jenna gorgeous Jenna making the moves on me!

  When we came up for air, I gently brushed a stray strand of her hair behind her ear, touched her swollen lips with the pad of my thumb. “Why me?”

  “Why not? You’ve been a permanent fixture in the household for six years. I’ve had a crush on you forever, Jake.”

  “I had no idea,” I stuttered. I had no clue why Jenna was attracted to me, but I seized the moment and asked, “Will you go out with me, on a real date?”
/>   “Compared to a fake date?” she asked with confusion.

  “No, I mean, you won’t be embarrassed be to seen with me in public?”

  “Why would I be embarrassed?”

  I motioned to my bum leg, but didn’t say a thing.

  “Jake, I don’t care about your leg. I care about you. I would be honored to go on a real date with you.”

  I smiled, so happy in the moment that I forgot one major detail. “Oh, shit. Your brothers are going to kill me when they find out.”

  Jenna simply laughed. “Seriously, you’re a part of this family. They love you like a brother.”

  “That makes you my sister and that just sounds perverted.”

  “John and Jason will be heading back to college and Rick doesn’t need to know.”

  I thought about it for a second. That was all I needed to make up my mind. “Pick you up at seven tomorrow?”

  “Perfect,” she replied, leaning in for one last kiss. “I’ll go out first. Meet you downstairs.” Jenna opened the door and peeked outside into the hall to make sure the coast was clear. She looked over her shoulder and said, “Merry Christmas, Jake.”

  It turned out to be a merry Christmas indeed.

  Chapter Two

  My reflection looked back at me in the full-length mirror. I dressed in my jeans and a button-down shirt, and wore a new pair of leather shoes. I smoothed down my raven hair with a jittery hand. Why was I nervous? I’d known Jenna for years. Pacing back and forth, I looked in the mirror one last time. We already got the kissing part out of the way I just needed to relax and enjoy the evening. Letting out a long, slow breath, I grabbed my jacket and headed next door.

  I knocked on the Welsh’s door at seven o’clock sharp. The door opened and there stood Jenna. She was dressed in skinny blue jeans, heels, and a cropped white sweater. “Hi. You look great,” I complimented.

  She smiled. “Ready to go?”

  I helped her put on her coat and we walked to my granddad’s car, a late model Nissan Sentra. Thankfully, I was able to drive, since my right leg was uninjured, but I still had to have the handicapped placard, which wasn’t cool at all. I drove to Denato’s Italian Restaurant it was quiet and secluded, the perfect place to take Jenna on our first date. I refused to park in the handicapped zone; I was young and could walk, albeit slowly.

  “I don’t mind if you park closer,” Jenna said.

  “I’m not helpless, Jenna.”

  “No, but you’re proud,” she remarked back.

  I opened the car door for her and offered my right arm. She happily accepted it and slowly walked with me to the entrance. The waitress sat us in a corner booth. I laid my crutch on the floor as the waitress handed us menus.

  Jenna took in the scenery. “I like it here. Its quiet. I see why you picked this place.”

  “We won’t run into Rick here, either.”

  Jenna reached across the table and took my hand. Our fingers intertwined and all I could do was smile. I had never realized that her eyes were green and then faded into brown around the iris when the light hit them a certain way, or how sexy she looked when silence overtook us and she bit her bottom lip.

  We enjoyed our Caesar salad and baked ziti, talking and laughing throughout dinner.

  “Do you miss Rick and Sam?” Jenna asked, placing her fork on the table. “You know why they’ve been MIA this week? They’re having sex,” Jenna whispered.

  “Yes, I know, and I don’t want any details. How did you find out anyway?” I asked, looking at her.

  “It’s obvious. Sam’s glowing and Rick has been in a good mood. How did you know?”

  “They told me.”

  “That must have been awkward. You guys are like the three musketeers.”

  I shrugged. “What can I do? I love them both. If they’re happy, that’s all that matters.”

  “That’s very mature and levelheaded. Any other guy I know would fly off the handle.”

  “Cripple boys are just more sensitive,” I joked.

  “That’s why I think we should keep our relationship a secret for a while longer. I don’t need Rick breathing down my neck.”

  “Agreed.”

  After dinner, we went back to my house to stream a movie on Netflix. Granddad was sleeping, so we had the living room all to ourselves. Jenna took off her heels and curled up on the sofa next to me. I put my arm around her shoulder as we watched the movie, absentmindedly running my fingers through her hair. I wasn’t paying attention to the movie because all I could do was focus on Jenna. I was on a date with a girl who happened to be my best friend’s sister.

  “What are you thinking?” she asked.

  “I can’t believe you’re sitting here with me.”

  “I’ve had a crush on you for years, Jake. I can’t believe I’m sitting here with you either,” she admitted.

  “I had no idea. If that’s true, why did you wait until now to act on it?”

  “I saw the look in your eyes the other night at the game when Sam kissed you.”

  “It was a friendly kiss. She didn’t mean anything by it,” I interrupted.

  “I know, but you were shocked, then embarrassed like you thought you could never have a girlfriend.” Jenna took my hand. “I don’t understand why you would think such a thing.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this,” I said, leaning in to kiss her. Jenna was very perceptive and it unnerved me. Thankfully, she didn’t talk back. Instead, she kissed me.

  During Christmas vacation, I didn’t see much of Rick and Sam. Taking their relationship to the next level meant there was less time to hang out with me. Since Rick was spending so much time at Sam’s house, I was free to spend more time with Jenna. We would hang out and play video games or cards. Sometimes we’d watch movies. The more time I got to spend alone with Jenna, the more I liked her.

  Chapter Three

  Sam snuck up behind me as I grabbed a turkey sandwich from the cafeteria. I knew it was her the minute I smelled her Victoria’s Secret perfume. She wrapped her arms around me and whispered in my ear, “Happy Birthday, Jake.”

  I looked over my shoulder at her smiling face. “Thanks, Sam.”

  “Rick and I want to take you out for dinner tonight to celebrate.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “Yes, we do! We’ve spent every birthday with you since you were thirteen years old.”

  She wasn’t getting the hint, so it was time to try a more direct approach. “I have a date tonight.”

  “Well, that’s no problem you can…what? Did you just say you have a date?” she asked in disbelief.

  “That hard to believe, huh?”

  “Jake, oh my God! Do I know her? Who is she? Does she go to this school?” I didn’t answer her questions. I continued walking toward the cash register. Sam followed me to the table and sat down across from me.

  “I swear if you don’t fill me in, I’m going to wipe that stupid grin off your face, Jacob Lewis.”

  I laughed. She was so adorable when she was riled up.

  Rick found us in the cafeteria and sat down. “What’s so funny?” he asked.

  “Jake has a date and won’t tell me about the girl.”

  “What’s with all the secrecy? Since when have you been dating? I tell you everything. Why are you holding out?” Rick added.

  Now I had both of them ganging up on me. I didn’t know what to say. My mouth was dry, so I took a sip of water. “Her name is Jenna.”

  “That’s a coincidence,” Rick announced. My statement had gone completely over his head. Nothing new there.

  Realization flashed across Samantha’s face, her mouth forming a little ‘O.' “How long?”

  “Since Christmas.”

  “That was two months ago!”

  Rick finally caught on, anger making his face turn red. I looked at Sam, but pointed to Rick. She understood. Sam grabbed Rick’s forearm and made sure he remained seated. “My sister,” he seethed.

  “I’m no
t having sex with her,” I told him, hoping this would calm his temper.

  “She’s my sister, Jake.”

  “And Sam’s my best friend. How do you think it makes me feel knowing what you two do when you’re alone?” The conversation had suddenly become serious. There was an uncomfortable silence between the three of us.

  Surprisingly, Rick was the first person to break it. “Okay, I never looked at it that way. I don’t mind that you’re dating Jenna. Hell, at least I know you’re a good guy. I’m more angry at the fact that you didn’t confide in me.”

  “I’m sorry. It just happened. Jenna wanted to keep it quiet. She didn’t want you flipping out.”

  Sam reached over the table and grabbed my hand. “I think it’s great. We can double date!”

  “You should both come with Jenna and me to dinner. I can’t ruin tradition,” I said, more than happy to share the evening with them.

  The four of us ended up at Denato’s for my birthday dinner. Jenna and I had been such frequent visitors to the restaurant that the waitress just seated us at our usual table.

  Rick lifted his glass of water. “Happy birthday, Jake. You’re the best friend anybody could ever have.”

  Everyone raised their glasses to toast. “Here, here,” Sam agreed.

  “I can’t believe you’re being so calm,” Jenna mused, staring at her brother.

  “What? Jake said you aren’t having sex. I believed him,” Rick defended himself.

  “Oh. My. God. What if we were having sex, would you beat the shit of him?” Jenna huffed.

  I placed my arm around Jenna’s shoulders. “Okay, no family fights tonight. It’s my birthday.”

  “I didn’t start it,” Rick piped in.

  “I have a black belt in karate. I can take you down, Rick. I don’t care if you're my brother,” Jenna threatened.

  “Which is exactly why Rick has nothing to worry about. You can certainly take me down a lot easier than Rick. I can’t run away.” I tried to joke to ease the tension.

  Sam burst into laughter, covering her mouth to stop from spewing water all over the table. I cracked a smile, winking at Jenna. Soon she was laughing, too.