Naughty and Nice

by Sarah J. Brooks

  “I should have been careful, nonetheless. Anyways, Keith went into treatment for it for a while, and I thought it was best for everyone if I moved. So I moved a couple hours away, and Melina came with me, she was one of Jessica’s best friends … in an odd way. But when Keith got out of treatment again, he came after me. I ended out getting a restraining order, but it didn’t do much good. He went to jail for a couple of months and … well, I moved again. This time, I he didn’t find me, and I thought for a little while that things were going to be okay. The entire time I kept running casinos, buying more and building them up—after all, I thought that’s what Jessica would want me to do …” He paused and took a deep breath. “And well, fast forward, and I moved here … I met you and fell in love and thought everything was going to be normal, but I was so fucking wrong. I dragged you into all of this, and if I’d been willing to tell you the truth, none of this would have happened. I let you walk away just like I let Jessica walk away, and it almost got you killed.”

  *

  I was beginning to think I was the issue here. Sure, I hadn’t pulled either of the triggers, but I was still the cause of it. If I’d just gone after Jessica all those years ago, I would have been there to protect her. If I had told Rebecca the truth from the get go, she wouldn’t have walked away from me.

  “You can’t blame yourself for this.” Rebecca reached out and touched my arm gently. “Come inside with me; let me make you some hot chocolate.” I stared at her. She gave me a soft smile and unbuckled her seat belt. “Come on, I’m not getting out of this car until you’re out.”

  I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face as I unbuckled myself and popped the door open.

  “Good!” She sounded happy as we stepped out of the car, and she circled around to meet me. She took my hand and headed for the door. My fingers tightened around her, and I pulled her back to me, into a hug.

  She wasn’t supposed to be making me feel better right now. She was supposed to be scared of me, traumatized for what had just happened to her and wanting to kill me for letting it happen. Why was she being so kind?

  I swallowed dryly.

  “It’s okay,” she whispered, holding me tightly for a second before pulling away. “Now, come on.”

  This time, I let her pull me towards the door and up the stairs to her apartment. I felt another tear run down my cheek, staring at the woman as she busied herself in the kitchen and got the hot chocolate ready.

  I’d gotten Jessica killed, and I’d almost killed Rebecca. And here she sat getting me hot chocolate. Shouldn’t I break things off with her or something? Tell her there was no point in being around me and that she should get as far away from me as she could? I knew that was the right thing to do, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

  *

  I handed him a steaming cup of hot chocolate.

  It was silly, but being back in my own home and making Dean hot chocolate made me feel almost calm. Like I was almost normal. I froze as I looked Dean over. He’d been crying. His eyes were red to prove it, but it wasn’t the way he looked. It was something that he had said to me in the car.

  “You said you love me.” It wasn’t a statement, but it came out like one.

  “I did.” His eyes locked on mine.

  “Did you mean it?”

  “Of course, I did.” He took a sip of his hot chocolate. “I wouldn’t lie to you about something like that.”

  I swallowed dryly. Where did we go from there? I opened my mouth to ask but couldn’t bring myself to.

  “So, how about we get away for a couple days? Just the two of us.” It was as if he’d been reading my mind.

  “What about this weekend?”

  “Well, we could use the help at the weekend, and honestly I should be there, but if you want to get on a flight right now, you just tell me, and we’ll say fuck it to everyone.”

  “But it’s your casino, and you’ve been leading up to this like crazy.”

  “I know, but fuck it. Doesn’t matter. Melina can do it.”

  “No. I can’t make you do that.” I shook my head.

  “Alright, good. That will give us time to book somewhere nice.” He gave me a soft smile as he pulled out his phone. “How about Paris? Or should we do Japan? Italy? Pick somewhere. Where have you always wanted to go?”

  I mulled it over. Was he actually considering this?

  “Are … are you actually serious about this?”

  “Of course.” I stared at him blankly. “So, where do you want to go?”

  “Um … how about Italy?” I swallowed dryly, my heart suddenly racing. Dean nodded, but he didn’t say anything for a couple seconds. Then he glanced up at me. “Well, tickets are booked for Monday night, how’s that sound?”

  “Made up,” I admitted. “Unbelievable, like something out of a movie or a book.”

  Dean grinned. “I like that. My goal is going to be to treat you like you’re out of a romance novel.” His grin widened.

  I laughed softly as I took a sip of hot chocolate and stared at the man in front of me. After the day I’d had … I honestly had no clue how to feel. I didn’t know if I should be mad at him—right? But how could I blame him for his past? I mean, after all, I had my own. For a split second, I thought of Brad. A shudder ran down my spine, but I don’t think Dean noticed.

  “So, I guess I’d better get packing.” I grinned, not fully believing that I’d be on a flight to Italy on Monday night. But I did know that wherever I would be on Monday night, I wanted it to be with Dean because despite everything that happened today, I cared about him a lot. And for some reason, I would never be able to figure out he loved me.

  The Billionaire’s Casino 3

  Sarah J. Brooks

  Chapter One

  I couldn’t believe I was going to Italy. When Dean mentioned Paris, that had been where I really wanted to go, but I didn’t want it to seem like I was trying to hint at something; you know, the whole city of lovers’ thing. Just seemed wrong so early in the relationship.

  But despite the fact it hadn’t been all that long, things were moving quickly. We were opening up and letting each other into our past—mostly because Dean had to.

  After being held hostage by the brother of Dean’s late-ex-girlfriend, I deserved to know what was going on, and boy did I find out. Now here I was—some high-priced therapist on Dean’s dime—also on medical leave from work. I sat in the office looking around. There were cream walls and bright throw pillows in what I assumed was some attempt to make people feel welcome and relaxed. It wasn’t working on me; that much was for sure.

  My gut twisted, and I was pretty sure I was going to puke.

  The woman sat across from me with a blank expression. “So, Rebecca … Dean said you needed to talk about a couple things that happened recently.”

  “Yea … I um, had a gun held to my head.”

  “That must have been scary.”

  “It was.”

  And it had been. I thought I was about to die, and it was all because of some guy I hardly knew. I wanted to blame Dean, but in reality, I couldn’t—anyways, he was doing more than enough blaming himself to cover both of us.

  “How did that happen?”

  “Um, someone from Dean’s past came back to haunt him.” I wasn’t going to give her all the details; I wasn’t sure if I trusted her half enough to do that. She nodded.

  “I see … so this had nothing to do with you, right?”

  “No. I had no clue about any of it until after it happened.”

  “That must have been hard on you.”

  “It … was.” Where was she going with this?

  “Do you want to talk about it?” She raised an eyebrow. “Tell me about it from your point of view.”

  “Not really.”

  I knew I was being difficult, and I didn’t really feel bad for it. I didn’t want to be here.

  The woman stood. She looked me up and down before walking over to her window. “You don’
t want to be here, do you?”

  “Nope,” I admitted.

  “I didn’t think so. See, I’d love to help you through it, but I can’t do that if you don’t want the help.”

  “So I can go.” I stood quickly and stepped towards the door.

  “Just one moment.” I froze and turned to stare at her. “Are you having the nightmares yet?”

  My mouth fell open as I stared at her. I shouldn’t have been surprised; after all, she was a professional. “Yes.”

  “Started the flashbacks?”

  “No.”

  “How’s your eating?”

  “It’s …” I thought about it and didn’t say anything. I wasn’t willing to admit just how bad it was.

  “I want to help you.” She turned back to me. “But I can’t do it if you’re not ready. You’re welcome to leave, but Dean paid for five sessions; so when you’re ready, all you have to do is call.”

  Instead of doing the single thing I’d wanted to do since getting here—which was leave—I did the thing I never thought of actually doing. I sat down in the chair I’d been in a couple of seconds ago. I had a feeling I’d just been played, but if she was being honest with me ... If I was going to start having flashbacks … And I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten. I swallowed dryly.

  “So, what am I supposed to do about it?”

  “We’re going to work through this together. It’s going to take a little opening up on your behalf, and it’s going to take a plan. A little time out of your day each day, but this is something that can be worked through.” She gave me a smile. “I’m the foremost female therapist in this state that deals with PTSD.” I opened my mouth to protest. I couldn’t have PTSD, but … but then what could I have? “I know suffering a traumatic event is scary, and it can leave you scared, but I can help you heal those scars.”

  “How?” I stared at her with wide eyes. How was she going to fix me?

  “Like I said, it will take work. We’ll focus on working through the thoughts and feelings you are having about everything, as well as addressing the issues that arise with PTSD, like your lack of sleep and your nightmares. Then we’ll also focus on positive life changes that will help, like getting physical, a healthy diet and avoiding … substances to cope.”

  For a split second, I thought maybe I wouldn’t mind her so much. A smile touched my lips. “So, what now?”

  “Now, we talk.” She leaned back in her chair and grabbed a notebook and pen. “I hope you don’t mind if I take notes. It helps me remember things so we can talk about them again in the future.”

  I nodded, motioning for her to feel free. “What are we supposed to talk about?”

  “Well, we’re not going to talk, I want to listen. How’ve you been feeling?”

  Chapter Two

  “So, how was it?”

  I hadn’t even closed the door before Dean piped up. He stood in the kitchen with a pizza box in front of him.

  “It was fine. We talked; well, I mean I talked. How was work?” I couldn’t believe I was about to say it, but I was beginning to wish I’d been at work instead of at therapy.

  “What did you guys talk about?” He totally ignored my question.

  “Stuff. We talked about everything that happened recently and how it’s been affecting me and what my life goals are and a whole bunch of other stuff that I don’t really see how it’s going to matter.” I shrugged, slipping out of my coat.

  I knew Dean was just trying to do the right thing by making me go to therapy, but I wasn’t impressed that he hadn’t spoken to me about it before he even talked to me about it. I bit my lip, taking a deep breath as I slipped past him. I honestly wasn’t sure if I wanted to be mad at him or thankful that I had someone to support me and who was willing to do whatever it took to.

  “Are you all packed for tonight?”

  “Yes.” I’d been packed since Saturday. After everything that happened, Dean didn’t want me at work, so he told me to stay home, which meant that after my mother was done flipping her shit over what had happened, I soon ran out of things to do.

  *

  I thought I’d been doing her a favor by not telling her about what happened, that is until I got a text asking if there had been a shootout at my casino. I’m not quite sure when my parents started watching the news, but it was after I’d moved out.

  The door opened behind me.

  “I thought I heard you come home!” Katie grinned widely. “Well, how was it? Did you have a cute therapist?”

  “I guess she was pretty.” I turned to my best friend and felt a sense of calm wash over me. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to be mad at Dean or not, but I knew that I didn’t want to be mad at Katie. She was my best friend and had been since I moved in. She looked me up and down.

  “You hated it, didn’t you?”

  “I … it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” I admitted. “And it might actually be good for me in the long run. She wants me to start working out; she says it will help with my sleeping.”

  “You’re having trouble sleeping?” They both said at the same time.

  I shrugged. “That shit happens after a ‘traumatic event’ or, at least, that’s what she says.” I made sure to use mimic quotation marks.

  It’s not that I didn’t think I’d suffered a traumatic event. I was pretty sure she was right about me having PTSD of some sort, but I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it; I wanted to play it down so no one thought they had to take care of me. I’d already had my mom try to convince me to move back in with them.

  “Well,” Katie looked at me with soft eyes. “As long as she helps, that’s all I care about. She put you on any pills for it?”

  “No, she wants to avoid that kind of stuff.” I glanced at Dean, who had a soft smile on his face though he wasn’t actually looking at me.

  *

  I’d picked someone I knew wasn’t going to want to give her medication. I’d seen what that did to people, and was willing to bet the medication Keith was given had a lot to do with why he tried to kill me—and just recently held a gun to Becca’s head. Taking a slice of pizza, I headed for the living room, sensing that the two girls in front of me needed some time.

  So I dropped down onto the couch, turned up the TV a little bit and let them have some time to themselves.

  I took a bite of pizza, mostly for something to do. I knew she wasn’t happy about me setting up an appointment for her but could tell there was something wrong. She didn’t look like she was sleeping and I’d wake up in the middle of the night, and she wouldn’t be there. That wasn’t normal for her—but every time I tried to bring it up, she’d just tell me that I didn’t know her well enough to know what was or wasn’t normal for her. And she was right; we hadn’t been together all that long.

  Yet she’s already been traumatized because of me. I hated myself the second I thought it. I’d known a long time ago that everything with Keith was going to come back to haunt me and maybe I deserved that, but Becca didn’t. I should have been more careful. “You thought it was all in the past.” Melina would try to fight me. And she was right. I did think it was but should have known better.

  I stared blankly at the screen in front of me not really aware of what was on.

  Charges should have been pressed all those years ago. I should have gotten him locked up instead of feeling bad for him.

  “I didn’t realize you liked Sex and the City.”

  “What?” I snapped, looking at the girl who dropped down onto the couch beside me. Her eyes locked on the screen in front of us. “Oh.”

  I grabbed a remote and handed it to her.

  “Are you alright?” she asked, taking a bite of her pizza.

  No.

  I looked around. “Where is Katie?”

  “Oh, she has a date or something. Just wanted to leave me with some info about the guy. So you’re not answering my questions today.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “First, yo
u didn’t answer me when I asked how work was, and now you’re not answering me when I ask if you’re okay.”

  “I’m fine …” I could tell he was lying, but I didn’t call him on it. “And work was busy, that’s all.”

  I bit back the urge to say something snarky. I didn’t want to fight with him, but I wanted us to talk about something if he wasn’t dealing well. Light bulb.

  “So, I’ve been thinking you should come to therapy with me. I mean, it was your idea after all.”

  “No, no. It’s fine. It’s about you; I don’t want to take away from it.”

  I rounded to face Dean. He was gorgeous, even with dark circles around his eyes. “Look, you wanted me to do this, and that’s fine; I get you’re trying to help me out, but you need help too. She’s not going to tie me down and make me talk, so … I’m not going unless you do.”

  I knew it was unfair, but sometimes you had to be unfair, right? If it was right for your partner. I knew that’s what Dean thought when he got me the appointment.

  “Becca, that’s not fair.”

  “No, it’s not, but just consider it, okay? Because I’m not the only one in the relationship that needs a little bit of help, and you seem to think it would be good for me, so what’s to make you think it wouldn’t be good for you too?”

  I watched his wheels turning as he tried to find a good answer. A smile spread over my face as he realized he couldn’t and closed his mouth.

  I glanced at my phone. “What time is the flight?”

  He leaned over to look. “We should be there in three hours, just to be safe.”

  Which meant we had three hours to kill. Dean moved closer to me, his thumb rested under my chin as he pulled me towards him. His lips touched mine gently.

  “Thank you,” he whispered softly. I stared at him blankly as he kissed me again; this time, the kiss was stronger and lasted longer. His fingers tangled in my hair gently, pulling me closer to him. “I’m honestly so lucky to have you; I hope you know that.”

  My cheeks flushed. “Why do you think that?”

  “Because, I never thought I’d find someone after Jessica honestly, and after what I did to her—”