Cazzo: A Reed Security Romance (Reed Security Series Book 3)

by Giulia Lagomarsino

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  We walked back to the house at a much slower pace than I took getting out here. I was limping pretty bad by the time we made it back and Vanessa had her arm wrapped around me, like she was trying to hold me upright. I didn’t want to tell her that if I was going down, she wouldn’t be able to hold me up, because I loved the feel of her touching me. We made it back to the porch and I plopped down in a rocker, not sure if I could make it inside at this point. I needed a break.

  “You’ve been pushing yourself too hard,” Vanessa said as she fussed over me. I grunted in reply and she shot me a stern look.

  “Sam, I told you that you were doing too much,” my mom said as she came outside with a tray of glasses. “Here, drink this water. Lord knows I don’t need you passing out on my porch because you aren’t taking care of yourself.”

  “I’m not going to pass out, Mom. I just overdid it a little. I’ll be fine after I sit down for a while.”

  “When was the last time you got a massage?” Vanessa asked.

  “Why does he need a massage?” Mom asked.

  “The therapist said that massages help to relieve muscle tension and prevent injuries when he does too much. Since he uses his upper body a lot more to compensate for the lack of strength in his legs, his muscles in his upper body tighten up and he could end up injuring himself. Also, getting regular massages on his legs helps to improve his muscle development.”

  My mother turned to me with her best pissed off mother glare. “And were you ever planning on telling us that you needed this?”

  “Mom, I have it under control.”

  “Is that why Vanessa had to practically carry you up the stairs?”

  “Mom-”

  “Don’t you ‘Mom’ me. Now you go upstairs and take a hot bath while I find a massage therapist that you can see.”

  “Actually, I gave him massages daily when he was protecting me. I can take care of it.”

  “Thank you, Vanessa. I’m glad someone is making sure he does what he’s supposed to.”

  My mom went back in the house and Vanessa turned her radiant smile on me.

  “I think she likes me.”

  “Of course she does. You two are exactly alike.”

  “Come on. I’ll help you upstairs for that soak.”

  “I think I can manage on my own.”

  “I know you can, Sam. But it’s been a while. I just want to know that you’re okay.”

  “Now that I have you, everything’s perfect.”

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  After a hot bath, which I despised, I had to admit that I felt much better. My muscles were looser and the tension in my body didn’t seem quite so overwhelming. Vanessa was waiting for me in my bedroom with some lotion and a towel. She patted the bed and I limped over to her and laid down beside her on my stomach.

  Her fingers were like magic and before I knew it, I was was out like a light. When I woke up, it was dark outside and my stomach was protesting the lack of food. I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. I looked at my phone and saw that it was already seven o’clock. I sat up and stretched, feeling a lot looser than I had in months.

  When I got downstairs, Vanessa was sitting at the kitchen table with my parents, drinking a glass of wine.

  “Hey, feel better?” she asked as I walked into the room.

  “Yeah, a lot.”

  “You were pretty out of it. I figured you needed the rest.”

  “I may have overdone it just a little.”

  “Mhmm,” she smirked.

  “Vanessa was just telling us about culinary school. You told me that she was a good cook, but you didn’t tell me she was going to school for it.”

  I had been hesitant to talk to my parents about Vanessa. I didn’t want them to know how madly in love I was since I didn’t know if it was going to work out. That was probably a ridiculous thought since I had called my dad the night I almost killed myself. He had to know that if I almost did that over a woman than I must be in deep. Luckily, Vanessa charged on ahead.

  “I would love to get your lasagna recipe. It was fantastic.”

  “Oh, that’s nothing. Just something I threw together,” my mom waved her off.

  “Well, I thought it was terrific.”

  “When do you have to be back at school?” I asked.

  “It’s fall break. I have to be back by the weekend because I have some homework that I need to get done.”

  I wanted to talk to her about where we went from here, but not with my parents around. As if on cue, Dad stood up from the table.

  “That movie I wanted to see is on tonight. We should go watch it.”

  “We can watch movies anytime. Your son and his girlfriend are only here for so long,” she said, baffled that he would suggest leaving.

  “Marie, that was my nice way of telling you to get your ass out of the kitchen so these two can talk.”

  “Well, just say that next time,” she huffed as she walked out of the kitchen.

  “So, how do we do this when you go back to school?”

  “I’m not really sure. What are your plans? Are you staying here?”

  I blew out a breath and scratched my chin. “I’m not sure what to do. I have to get in shape before I can even think about going back to work.”

  “What about doing office work like you were before?”

  I shook my head. “I have to see a therapist for a psych evaluation first. Cap told me not to come back until I was in shape and saw a therapist.”

  “Oh. I guess I didn’t realize they would make you do that.”

  “Well, no one trusts me right now. Apparently, I’m a loose canon that could blow at any time.”

  She thought about it for a minute. “Well, then you just have to prove them wrong. It’s been a rough year, Sam. They know that. You just have to do what they ask and get back to work. I know you wish they would just trust you, but you would ask the same thing of anyone that did what you did.”

  “You know, the psych eval is because of what happened that night, but the real reason they don’t trust me is because I didn’t follow protocol. We just did a bunch of training so that we all worked more efficiently as a team and I totally screwed that. I don’t know how to earn back their trust after that one.”

  She took my hand in hers. “Sam, do you really want to continue working there? I mean, you just seem so at peace out here.”

  “It’s the only thing I’ve ever really wanted to do. I’m good at it. Really good, when I don’t fuck it up because I’ve got my head up my ass. This is good out here,” I nodded toward the window that showed the expanse of the farm. “This is relaxing and it’s really helped me to sort shit out, but doing this the rest of my life? My dad was right. I wasn’t meant to be here. This doesn’t give me purpose.”

  “If it’s really what you want, then you go back and fight for it. It’s not going to be easy and it may take a while, but they will trust you again. You do whatever it takes to make sure they know you’re serious about being back. Those guys all respect you. I’ve seen it. There’s no way if you fight for it, that they won’t see how much you want it.”

  “How did I get so lucky to have you in my corner?”

  “Well, it all started when you kissed me, but you pretty much sealed the deal when you stepped in front of a bullet for me.”

  “I would do it again in a heartbeat.”

  “I love you, Sam.”

  “I love you, too.”

  “Would you kiss her already?” Mom’s voice drifted from the doorway. “I want grandkids from you and I’m not going to get them if you two keep talking.”

  Vanessa looked at me in shock. “Did your mom just give us permission to have sex in her house?”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Vanessa and Cazzo

  VANESSA

  No matter how much I wanted Sam, there was no way I was having sex with his parents in the same house. That was just weird. He agreed, thank God. We spent the few days taking walks
around his parents’ property and getting to know each other outside of the intense circumstances we’d been under the last two times. His parents took us out to dinner and by the time I had to leave, I had fallen in love with both of them. They were the parents I wished I’d had growing up.

  It was Saturday morning and I had to head back to Chicago. The drive wouldn’t be too bad since it was only a few hours away. We walked to my car after I said goodbye to his parents. I really wasn’t looking forward to saying goodbye to him, but I had to get back.

  “I really don’t want to leave you again.”

  “It’ll be okay, sweetheart. After everything we’ve been through, this is just a small bump in the road. I’ll come see you whenever I can.”

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down to me for a kiss. “I was actually thinking that maybe I could transfer to a school in Pittsburgh.”

  He pulled back, his eyes searching mine. “Are you sure about that? I thought you loved this school?”

  “I do, but I don’t want to go years without being with you. It’s just school and I can do that anywhere, but I can’t be away from you during that time. These past few months were long enough. I can get an apartment in the city and then I can see you on the weekends.”

  “You could stay with me,” he said hopefully.

  “Are you asking me to move in with you?”

  “Sweetheart, I’ll be asking a lot more from you someday, but for now, I’ll settle for you moving in with me. I want to be able to touch you whenever I want. I need to wake up with you wrapped in my arms.”

  I was a sucker for this man. He had just turned my world upside down, but in the best way possible. It made every doubt I could ever have flee my mind in an instant.

  “I’ll get started on finding a new school right away.”

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  There was one thing I had to do as soon as I got back. I didn’t waste any time going to my apartment first. I headed right to Jason’s and knocked on the door. I was nervous about talking to him because I didn’t want to hurt him, but I also knew that he would understand. He answered the door with a hesitant smile.

  “Hi. Come on in.” He held the door open for me and I walked in fidgeting with my purse strap.

  “Hi.” I cleared my throat and smiled shakily at him.

  “So you saw him. I take it it went well.”

  I nodded a little. “I’m sorry, Jason. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Are you kidding?” He grinned at me and waved his hand like it was no big deal. “I have women practically lined up at the door for me. I’m sure one of them will be ten times better for me.” I smiled at his easy going attitude. “Seriously, Vanessa. You’re the catch of a lifetime and I’m not stupid enough to hand you off to someone that isn’t worthy of you. But I could tell that you still loved him and I’m guessing that if you got back together with him, that means he’s got it just as bad for you. I’m glad it all worked out. I mean, obviously it didn’t for me, but that’s okay.”

  “Jason, you are one helluva guy.”

  “You’re just saying that because you’re dumping me.”

  “If it weren’t for the fact that my heart was already lost to someone else, I could have fallen hard for you.”

  “Yeah, well, it’s better that we figured this out now because I’m pretty sure I was already falling for you.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that, but luckily, Jason smiled at me and opened the door, letting me know it was okay to leave.

  “I hope he makes you happy, Vanessa.”

  “Goodbye, Jason,” I said as I walked out the door. I headed for my apartment and got right to work on finding a new school to attend.

  Cazzo

  I stayed with my parents another two weeks, fixing up anything I could before I went back home. I told myself that I didn’t want to leave Dad with a bunch of projects to do, but the truth was, I was delaying because I didn’t want to face Cap again. I had let him down big time and I wasn’t sure I wanted to face the man that used to think so much of me.

  “Sam, you’ve done more around here than I could have ever hoped for, but it’s time for you to leave,” Dad said to me after dinner one night.

  “What? You and Mom are kicking me out?”

  “You know that your mom has been thrilled to have you here, but this isn’t the place for you and running from your problems isn’t going to solve anything. You need to go back and face reality. You have a life there and a girl that’s expecting you to make things right so you can have a life together.”

  “We could have a life together even if I didn’t go back.”

  “And that’s a good thing. You know better than anyone that life throws you curveballs, but you can get back to work now. There’s nothing holding you back but your own damn pride. Just don’t stay away so damn long. Your mother is expecting grandkids, by the way.”

  “One thing at a time, Dad.”

  I left the next morning, promising that I would be home for Christmas and that I would ask Vanessa to come with me. She most likely would since she didn’t have any family to go home to any more. I made it home by mid-afternoon and was surprised to see Sinner’s truck in my driveway.

  “What the hell is going on?” I asked as I walked into the house. Sinner was sitting on my couch with his feet propped up on the table, drinking a beer.

  “I’m hiding from Cara.”

  “What’d you do?”

  I threw my bag on the ground and headed to the kitchen for a beer. It would be my first one since that night, but I needed to know if I could handle it. If I could, that would tell me a lot about where I actually stood. It had weighed heavily on my mind over the past few months that if I drank again, I might slip into some dark thoughts. Now that Sinner was here, I was going to find out.

  “She started talking about babies and I freaked out. I pretended to get a call from Cap and took off. I decided here was as good a place as any to hide out.”

  He eyed the beer speculatively, but didn’t say anything.

  “I thought you wanted kids with her.”

  “Someday. We’re not even married yet. One step at a time, ya know?”

  “So, you ran away instead of just telling her that?”

  “Hey, she had this crazy look in her eyes. I wasn’t about to go down that road with her.”

  “You’re such a pussy.”

  “Takes one to know one,” he shot back.

  “What, are we in second grade?”

  “What’s with the beer? I thought you were done drinking?”

  I shrugged and plopped down in a chair. “I have to talk to Cap about getting back to work.”

  “So, you thought drinking would be a good idea? I can see where you would think that, but since alcohol was kind of one of the problems..”

  I tapped the side of my head. “I gotta see where my head’s at. I haven’t had a drink since that night. I just need to know if this is something festering underneath or if I’ve got a lid on it.”

  “Guess I’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight. There’s no fucking way I’m leaving you here by yourself.”

  “I’d expect nothing less, brother.”

  “So, what’s going on with Vanessa? You talk to her lately?”

  “She came to see me at my parents’ house. Mom fell instantly in love with her and demanded grandkids.”

  He snorted and shook his head. “It’s like baby fever around here. Did you hear Maggie’s pregnant?”

  “No shit? How’s Cap dealing with that?”

  “He’s flying high as a fucking kite. It almost went south. She didn’t want to keep the baby and he was devastated, but she changed her mind at the last minute. Now she’s living with him and working at Reed Security again.”

  “Damn. I wasn’t sure they were gonna make it there for a while.”

  “That’s not all. They’re getting married. They haven’t set a date yet, but she insists that it’s gonna happen.”

&nbs
p; “I take it Cap has changed his mind about hating you, then.”

  “We worked that shit out a while ago. He still gives me the stink eye from time to time, but we’re good.”

  “What else did I miss while I was gone?”

  “Knight is a friend of Pappy’s from the military.”

  “No fucking way. How the hell did Pappy not know it was him?”

  “The guy changed his name. No one’s ever seen his face, only his tattoo. I guess he got it after he got out of the military. Pappy was fucking shocked.”

  “So, what’s the deal? How the hell did he become a gun for hire?”

  He shrugged. “I guess when you go rogue and kill your superiors, there aren’t too many people that want to hire you. Pappy trusts him and he came through for us when we took out Reiner.”

  “Huh. Looks like I missed a shit load of stuff. What else?”

  “Burg is seeing someone, but he’s not bringing her around. That can only mean one of two things. First, he’s not serious about her, or two, he really likes her and doesn’t want us giving him any shit.”

  “It’s gotta be number two. Burg’s never with anyone longer than a week.”

  “Maybe it’s time for some recon,” he grinned.

  “You want to stalk Burg?”

  “Stalking is such a strong word. I happen to know that he had plans with her tonight. He’s taking her down to The Pub, and we’re almost out of beer.”

  That’s how we ended up at The Pub a half hour later. When we walked in, we spotted Burg right away playing pool with a leggy blonde. Unfortunately, Cap was also here with a bunch of friends and I hadn’t yet figured out what the hell I was going to say to him. I didn’t have a chance to think it over though because he walked over to me and pulled me in for a man hug.

  “Good to see you back, Cazzo. When did you get in?”

  “About an hour ago. This asshole was hanging out on my couch avoiding his woman,” I said, jerking my thumb in Sinner’s direction.