Rebirth (Cross Book 1)

by Hildred Billings

  He didn’t bother undressing her aside from removing her jacket. Devon grabbed a quilt and tossed it over her body. Would that keep her warm enough while she slept the alcohol off?

  Devon retreated to the bathroom to brush his teeth and rinse off in the shower. He collapsed onto the bed next to his girlfriend and threw himself into his own night’s rest.

  He shifted over and held Alicia’s limp body next to his. As she continued to sleep, undisturbed in his embrace, Devon wished that every night for the rest of their lives could be as peaceful as this. He sighed into the back of his girlfriend’s hair and closed his eyes, debating once more whether he should tell Alicia what was going on in the world or not. He didn’t think telling her would be a good idea, at least. Danielle was her own kettle of boiling fish when it came to how jealous Alicia could get sometimes.

  He opened his eyes and gazed into Alicia’s solemn face. Between advocating against the objectification of women in the media and making curt comments about the various female couples they encountered in the city, Alicia was the antithesis of everything their liberal environment stood for. Devon chalked it up to her heavy religious upbringing back in Boston, but admitted that she shed her oppressions in other areas of morality, such as living in sin with him before they ever discussed the possibility of marriage. Devon already had the pleasurable experience of suffering the blunt end of a tirade from Alicia’s father about how he was taking advantage of someone’s little girl and what a no-good, terrible waste of humanity he was. Perhaps, if Danielle were male, she would’ve fared better with Alicia than he had.

  He was somewhat right.

  NINE

  Another sunny day in M-Town meant the flocks were out grabbing grub as soon as the neighborhood-wide rush hour arrived. As long as someone wasn’t working a security shift or in transport, they had one hour to get food, chat with other servicemen and women, run other errands around downtown…

  And flirt. A lot.

  It almost felt like college, only everyone wore a military uniform from one branch or another. The few citizens who worked in retail or administration wore such plain and drab clothing that they may as well have been dressed to impress the sergeant making his rounds.

  They certainly were not trying to impress Miranda, who only wanted to grab her favorite sandwich from a shop on the end of the block and eat it in central plaza – alone.

  People rode her ass all day. When she wasn’t fielding orders from her superiors, she was digesting the passive-aggressive complaints from her First and Second Lieutenants who were too afraid to be direct with her, no matter how many times she assured them she preferred a casual atmosphere. But military training ran deep enough that most of the Lieutenants she oversaw would rather do two-hundred pushups than honestly say, “My workload is way too much. Is there any way you can get it lightened? At all? I can’t process twenty documents in an hour!”

  Well, most of the Lieutenants, anyway. There were some like Ben and his best buddy Dean who had been around long enough to remember when Miranda was a dull-eyed Second Lieutenant. Ben had even worked at the cubicle beside hers. He figured he had the right to give her hell, even if she oversaw the department now.

  So when she emerged from her favorite sandwich shop and encountered both men sitting on the bench across the narrow street, she averted her gaze and pretended that their salutes weren’t so subpar that she had every right to chew them out some new assholes.

  “Party at The Cisco tonight!” Ben said loudly enough for Miranda to hear. “Gonna be full of hot chicks! Hint, hint!”

  Over ten years since they first met, and Ben was still goading Miranda into going on dates. If Danielle thought her friend Troy was up her ass to get to her dating life, she had never seen the ridiculous dynamic between this Second Lieutenant and his captain.

  “Chicks, huh?”

  Miranda had barely sat down to eat her damn sandwich when a civilian crossed her path. While civilians were a dime a dozen (and officers a pence a dozen) around M-Town, few of them looked as cute and trendy as Heidi. Even Miranda, who often had her emotional guard up while at work, had to double-take at the vivacious red-head sauntering up to her. Heidi didn’t hide most of her skin wherever she went. Which was probably how she and Miranda hit it off so well when they met a few months ago.

  “What are you doing here?” Miranda shoved her sandwich into her bag. Nobody was going to let her eat, were they?

  “You’re not returning my calls. Thought I’d drop by on your lunch hour while I was passing through M-Town to get to work.”

  “I’ve been busy.” How many calls had Heidi made? Because Miranda was only aware of two over the past week. “There’s a department review tomorrow that I’ve had to prepare for.”

  “That so?” Heidi kept her distance.

  “Yes. Problem?”

  They were not girlfriends. They were the occasional lovers who called the other up when loneliness got the best of them – or hormones. Miranda hadn’t seen Heidi in about a month. Usually she was the one to initiate a date, but other times Heidi blew up her phone with demands that they meet for drinks and follow those up with a nightcap at Miranda’s place. How nice was it for Heidi to control things once in a while?

  Youths were exhausting, and Miranda aged at a snail’s pace compared to other women.

  “No problem. I simply miss your pretty face… and I know you miss mine.”

  Heidi sat down next to Miranda but made sure to not touch her. Not in public like this.

  “Need any more modeling done? I’ll work for free. Not because you can’t afford me, but because I like you so much I don’t want to put monetary obstacles in between us.”

  Ah, yes, that was how they met. Miranda the budding painter took the occasional night class at a local community college. She was keen to paint nothing but still life – bright, colorful flowers and the insects that dueled for their attentions. Yet she occasionally took on human subjects, the more beautiful and naked the better. So happened Heidi had a side hustle doing nude modeling for art classes. “Fifty bucks to take off my clothes and lounge around for two hours? Easiest work ever.”

  It wasn’t that Miranda didn’t want to fool around with Heidi, but there were principles at play, and one of them dictated that they did not interact while Miranda wore her uniform. Heidi knew this. Yet here she was in the middle of M-Town in broad fucking daylight. It was like she wanted Miranda to get discharged!

  “The painting’s been put on hold for now.” Her agent wasn’t going to like that. Then again, one of the things she told that man was that her career in the military always came first. Then her love life. Painting was a hobby, a creative outlet to get out her frustrations when other vices weren’t good enough. They never were, right? “But if you’re insistent on coming over, I’m sure we could work something out.”

  “Really?” Heidi kicked her feet out, her shorts and T-shirt clinging so tightly to her body that Miranda almost couldn’t look away. Cross my legs away from her, she thought, hands primly folded in her lap. Look disinterested, like she’s just some kid bothering me on my lunch break. She was in the closet as far as the military was concerned. Half of M-Town may have known what a big ol’ lesbian Miranda was, but she wouldn’t dare advertise it. “Nice. I know I’m not the only girl in your rotation. Player.”

  “Not the only girl, huh?” How busy did Heidi think Miranda was?

  “I know you hang out with that Marine.”

  Miranda bristled. She certainly did hang out with some Marine who spent her days down at the docks training recruits and running war games out at sea. Sometimes not by choice.

  “You make it sound like she and I are in a relationship. I can assure you that we’re not.”

  “Ooh, so you are still on the market!”

  “The market?”

  “The meat market.”

  “Just wanted to hear you actually say it.”

  Thing was, Miranda was a damn good liar. A master liar by admission.
While she was single in every sense of the modern word, her heart had been closed off to new love so long ago that some might say it had been a thousand years since she last allowed herself to fall in love with someone new.

  Why would I want someone else? She often thought to herself. Nobody else will give me what I want or bring me that same level of happiness. Love was a curse. Miranda was the most cursed women of them all.

  Case in point: here came Danielle now.

  Talk about someone Miranda was fine with ignoring for the rest of the day. They hadn’t interacted once outside of curt greetings in the morning. Sometimes they bumped into each other in the bathroom or out and about during the lunch hour like this. They rarely acknowledged one another when their paths inevitably crossed.

  Which was a great feat, considering the electricity that sparked between them every time they even so much as acknowledge each other’s presence.

  Danielle made the mistake of stopping and glancing in the pair’s direction.

  “Lieutenant,” Miranda somberly greeted.

  That glazed over look in Danielle’s hazel eyes was not unusual. She often looked that way when carefully studying Miranda’s presence. Do you remember? Miranda often thought when Danielle had that faraway look in her eyes. Do you remember who I am? Do you care?

  “Hey…” Heidi laughed. “Do I know you?

  Spirit returned to Danielle’s eyes. She shuddered, even though it was a balmy seventy-five degrees. “Excuse me?”

  “This is Heidi,” Miranda introduced, and the other woman sat back, legs swinging in front of her. “She’s a…friend, of mine.”

  Any friend willing to sit next to Miranda like that was definitely an intimate one. What was that? A little bit of jealousy? Danielle would never admit it, least of all to herself, but a pang of irrational jealousy kicked her in the gut every time she saw undeniable proof that a woman she had a crush on spent her time with other women… let alone young women. “Sorry, I don’t know anybody named Heidi.” She didn’t want to, either.

  Heidi continued to stare at her with a look suggesting Danielle was full of shit. “Weren’t you one of Ally’s friends?”

  Reason froze in the back of Danielle’s brain, and her eyes widened at the mention of her ex-girlfriend’s name. It took her a couple of seconds to recollect her thoughts and spit out a response. “We were close. How do you know her?”

  “I used to be her sociology tutor when she was an undergrad. Didn’t you used to pick her up sometimes? Yeah, yeah I think that’s where I met you before.”

  “It’s a small world, obviously,” Miranda mused.

  Danielle’s aura radiated get the hell away from me. She absolutely did pick her ex-girlfriend up from her Wednesday night tutoring sessions, every damn week without fail. This simple memory had the weight of a thousand bricks upon Danielle’s body – the closest thing she remembered to a tutor was a slim, dark-haired girl who was often seen laughing with other students and cleaning her art supplies in the industrial sink in the classroom. Danielle supposed that this girl was the same one, save for a new hair color and the apparent arm candy of a noble supervisor who couldn’t care less about their pre-established acquaintanceship.

  “I…uh, yeah, I guess I remember now.”

  “How is she doing?” Heidi asked. “I haven’t seen her since she graduated.”

  Danielle was okay with lightning striking her dead where she stood. “I actually have no idea. I haven’t spoken to her in nearly a year.”

  Heidi’s hopeful face degenerated into embarrassment. “Oh, I’m sorry. That was presumptuous of me.”

  “Heidi was just about to leave,” Miranda said.

  “Huh?” Scoffing, Heidi scooted off her perch. “I see how it is. You gals don’t need some silly civie cramping your dry-cleaned style.” She twiddled her fingers in Miranda’s direction. “Call me later, would you? I’d love to model for you again, hon.”

  Miranda slowly shook her head as Heidi hustled to the nearest bus stop on the outskirts of M-Town. “Twenty-five years old and she’s calling me hon. Care to have a seat, Lieutenant?”

  Danielle returned her attention to her commanding officer. “Excuse me?”

  “As you can see, I have a spot here with your name on it.”

  Danielle regarded that fact with trepidation. “Are you sure that’s appropriate, ma’am?”

  The sarcasm dripped when they were out of the office, didn’t it? “You’re not in trouble. If it would make you feel better, I could make you do some push-ups while we talk.”

  What was there to talk about? If Miranda wanted to speak with her about something, she’d call her into the office like this was high school.

  Unless this was an off-the-record talk.

  “I wouldn’t want to keep you from your lunch, ma’am.”

  “For fuck’s sake, would you sit down?”

  How was Danielle supposed to say no to that? Walk away and pretend she hadn’t obeyed a direct order?

  She sat down, making sure ample space existed between her and Miranda. Not only because of what the gossip mill might start churning if they were caught sitting together – but because the mutual but unacted upon attraction between them made Danielle so uncomfortable she often wanted to cry. Sexual frustration? Romantic perturbance? Why not a hearty helping of both? Why pine after something I’m never gonna be allowed to have? The more casual things became between her and Miranda, the more likely they both were to slip into inappropriate flirtations they would never get away with acting upon. Troy liked joking about it – hell, Ben had joked with Miranda more than once that she and Danielle were about two steps away from falling into bed together, but the jokes always ended once someone pointed out how damaging that could be for their careers. That was true even if nobody else found out about it.

  Danielle would have to transfer. That was the biggest given, once the regret started to settle in. Inevitably, she would be asked why she needed a transfer so badly. What could she say?

  They were silent. Miranda considered having a smoke, but Danielle was downwind from her, and she wasn’t that much of an asshole. Then again, once she had a cigarette on her mind, she would jones until the damn thing was in her mouth.

  Best to use her mouth for other things.

  “How’s your grandmother?”

  Really? Of all the conversations to lead with…

  “She’s fine. Same as usual.”

  “Anything new?”

  Miranda used caution like she would her lip balm on a dry winter’s day. More like how I would smoke a cigarette right now, she thought.

  “Not really.”

  They both knew she was lying. Danielle wasn’t a good liar, anyway. Not like Miranda, who could shrug her shoulders and say, “Thought I’d ask, because your grandmother called me the other day and asked me to check in with you. Says you’re not returning her calls.”

  Danielle believed that, to an extent. “I haven’t gotten any calls from her…”

  “Maybe you should call her and tell her that.”

  “Why is she calling you about that?”

  Miranda softened her gaze. “Why does she call me about anything regarding you?”

  Danielle bristled. Her grandmother always loved sticking her nose where it didn’t damn well belong. Pretty soon she would also be caught up in this world-saving bullshit without even realizing it. Bad enough Marlow confirmed that Evan had spoken with Regina several times over the years, only to be brushed off every single time.

  Regina trusted Miranda. Miranda in turn told Regina whatever she wanted to know about her granddaughter. Within reason, of course.

  And, of course, this was a ruse to get Danielle to open up about her current predicament with reincarnation. Which, Miranda also knew, Danielle would never willingly share.

  But how else would she be able to impart her next few words?

  “If anything’s going on that you would like to talk about – and I won’t tell your grandmother about it – feel
free to drop by my office anytime.” Miranda brushed the dust off her skirt when she stood back up again. “Or we could arrange to meet while in civilian form.” She said that without a shred of sarcasm.

  “I’m fine, thanks.”

  Miranda spared her one last look. Danielle refused to make eye contact with her. “Offer still stands.”

  “Does that offer extend to everyone else working under you?”

  Miranda didn’t take that bait. “It extends to anyone I think I can help, and who wants it.” At least that much was true. “See you in the office. Enjoy the rest of your lunch.”

  She walked away without looking back. If she did happen to turn around, though, she would see Danielle wearing that same weary mask she always donned when she was tasked with saving the world. Again.

  As for Miranda? She had put her creative pursuits aside so she could focus on her own tasks at hand.

  “Hey…”

  Miranda pivoted with alacrity.

  “Do you happen to know of anything that might be considered a relic around here?”

  Miranda couldn’t let on that she knew exactly what Danielle meant. “What do you mean?”

  “I dunno… religious relic? Spiritual?”

  Of all the jokes she could crack right now, Miranda knew none of them were appropriate for the weight currently on Danielle’s mind. “I’ll let you know if I think of anything.”

  Assuming she didn’t grab it first.

  ***

  “See you later, babe.”

  Devon caught the kiss Alicia blew on his way out the door. Whenever she was that flirty, he took it upon himself to encourage it… even if his mind was full of utter crap.

  Like the ominous feeling that the whole world could end at any moment.

  How the hell was life supposed to go on? How the fuck was Devon going to help save the world while putting on the façade that nothing was amiss, everything was fine, and the denizens of Earth could keep on keeping on until the end of time?

  As Devon astutely observed when he packed up his guitar and amp to take to band practice, “This is how people snap. This is probably how we let ninety-seven planets die because, you know, no pressure or anything.” Devon did not jive well with pressure. Pressure was how he failed exams and completely dropped the ball whenever he played sports as a kid. Sure, nobody liked pressure, but pressure was what made people crack. Especially if they had to bottle up that pressure and shove it down into their stomachs so the locals weren’t thrown into panic. Or, he more often thought, they didn’t lock him up somewhere.