Rebirth (Cross Book 1)

by Hildred Billings

  “Unfortunately, we’ve been preparing the excuses ever since you informed us that there was movement on Earth. I’m saddened to hear this, Master Marlow. I’ll begin the evacuation procedures immediately. Please let me know when you reach Stage Four so we can evacuate our citizens as well. I’ll have crews on standby in all major cities.”

  Marlow ground his teeth into his receiver. “If, you mean. If we reach Stage Four.”

  “You always do, Master Marlow. Thank you again.” The line went dead.

  “Damnit!” He pushed away from his desk, leaving Evan to formally disconnect the call. “What a pompous… I remember when he was a shitstain getting caught up in scandals as a twelve-year-old!”

  “Bit before my time, Boss.” Evan shut off the devices. “But that means he was an adult when we lost Alora’k II.”

  We. As if Evan held any responsibility. Marlow knew. His assistant was a young boy when the last planet fell. Like billions of others throughout the universe, he had watched it live on intergalactic stream. Used to be the media stayed out of it once it was confirmed a planet was going under. The think pieces would blow up the media, of course, talking about how Marlow needed to officially hand over the reins to the Federation Forces before millions more were lost… how the mercenaries were two bumbling idiots who deserved their countless deaths for always failing…

  Marlow had an excellent relationship with the High Council of the Federation, and that included the President, whether they liked it or not. As long as they continued to work with him, then he would continue to pursue Nerilis across the known universe.

  And beyond it. They had almost gone into the Void once before. Eventually, they would go there again.

  “You know,” Evan began, cinching his coat on his way out the door. “When I got my degrees in Earth Studies, I never thought it would lead me to this kind of prestigious position.” He sighed, a sad smile lining his face. “The planetary expert for the great Master Ramaron Marlow, one of the most well-known and talked about julah of all time, let alone his generation. And I never thought that one day my degrees might be more useless than I already thought they were.”

  He left. Marlow remained in his office, silent.

  TWENTY-ONE

  Danielle clocked out at lunch that Tuesday and went straight to her doctor’s appointment. Even as she sat in the office and received the news that she was in good health, she couldn’t bring herself to care. She returned home with much of the same attitude.

  She had an uninvited guest in her kitchen.

  Alicia sat at the counter, jacket hanging from her shoulders as she slumped over. Danielle came to an abrupt stop, her heart leaping into her chest as the immediate thought of “Another intruder! Get your gun!” filled her head.

  “What the! What are you doing here? How did you get in?”

  Alicia held up the spare key Danielle kept behind a fixture hanging by her door. “You never moved it.”

  Danielle wanted to grab the key from Alicia’s hand, to throw her out, to scream at her, to cry, to do anything. Yet those were foolish thoughts and even more foolish actions. “Ally.”

  “I want to talk to you.” Alicia never turned to look at the woman she walked out on almost two years before. “I need to get something off my chest.”

  “It’s a bit late for that, don’t you think?”

  “I also need to ask you something.”

  “If you do, will you leave?”

  Alicia grimaced. “I deserved that.”

  “Yeah, you did.”

  At the counter, Alicia slowly craned her head around, eyes red. A finger traced the edges of her chapped lips. She looked like she hadn’t taken care of herself in days – possibly since Sunday afternoon. “I’m sorry.”

  Danielle clenched her fists. “Don’t you think it’s a bit late for that too?”

  “I know. I’m so sorry. What I did was horrible.”

  Alicia lowered her head again. It was a wonder Danielle didn’t give Alicia a good slam of the forehead onto the counter. What did brain matter really look like, anyway? “So you came here to tell me that? Get out.”

  “Why were you there? I don’t get it. Just tell me why you were there.”

  “What? At your place?”

  “Yeah.”

  Danielle cleared her throat. The hell could she even say? “I don’t think I have to tell you. I’m not sleeping with your boyfriend, though. He’s not cheating on you.”

  “I wish he were.” Alicia sat up. “Then I would have a reason to dump him.”

  “Since when do you need a real reason to dump anyone?”

  “Danielle, I…” Alicia’s hands held her chest as if to suppress her heart from bursting. “I was wrong. I’m so stupid. I’m horrible.”

  For as much as Danielle wanted to say that was correct, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She was still confused about why her ex-girlfriend was in her apartment, and she was not in the mood to hear the ramblings of an asshole. Even so, she needed answers. “Why are you here?”

  An apology was only the tip of Alicia’s feelings. “I think I still love you.”

  “What the fuck?” Danielle’s cheeks blazed. “Bullshit!”

  Alicia jumped back, startled.

  “You think that’s okay?” Danielle continued. “You think you can come into my home and say, ‘Oh, sorry baby, I didn’t mean it,’ and everything will be okay? What kind of naïve little shit are you, anyway? Just leave me alone. You were the one that ended it, so staying away from me should be no problem.”

  “I was wrong, okay? I know that I hurt you, I’m so sorry…”

  “Sorry doesn’t fix shit, Alicia. You said some of the vilest things I’d ever heard. You said them to intentionally hurt me.”

  Alicia fought back the tears. “You don’t understand. I had to do it.”

  “Oh, I understand,” Danielle held back before she did something brash, like smack Alicia across the face. “I perfectly understand what happened. You couldn’t handle it, Ally. You couldn’t handle that you were gay and that maybe Mommy and Daddy wouldn’t love you as much anymore. You couldn’t handle them taking away your money because you were blowing some dyke on the west coast. They were already pissed at you for fucking off from Harvard and coming here to get away from them. Then you had to go and become a lesbian to piss them off.”

  “Stop it!”

  “What happened? Did they find out and spank you? What pissed them off more? That I was queer, in the military, or older than you? Your daddy comes from a line of military men… did the thought of gay people being in his midst make him seethe until he screamed at you to get rid of me and be a good girl again before God sent you to Hell?”

  “Please, stop…”

  “You called me an immoral godless dyke.” Something hot shot down Danielle’s cheek. “Then you spat in my face and left.”

  Alicia said nothing.

  “Don’t tell me you’re sorry. Go home and play daddy’s-little-girl with your boyfriend.” Honestly, Devon didn’t deserve this mess, but what else could she say?

  “He was going to report you!”

  “What?”

  Alicia shook her head. “My father. After he found out, he flew out here. He told me if I didn’t dump you, he would have you discharged for being gay. Then he said he was so angry he’d go after you too for molesting me.”

  “What the fuck!”

  “I know! But he doesn’t… he doesn’t think clearly like that.” Alicia inhaled a deep breath, elbows slipping off Danielle’s kitchen counter. “It makes him feel better, more righteous, to think his own daughter isn’t some queer. Bad enough my little sister already has a kid, right? I said those things so you wouldn’t come after me. I had to make you hate me.”

  “What about Devon?” Danielle countered. “Are you using him to keep up appearances?”

  “I don’t know. I didn’t expect it to last this long.”

  “He doesn’t deserve your shit, Ally.”

&nbs
p; “I know.” She still refused to look at Danielle. “I don’t, you know, dislike men. I never lied when I said I was bi. It was easy to pretend to be straight if I had a boyfriend. I only latched onto Devon because he was the first convenient guy to come along. We hooked up right after I dumped you. I was so fucked up, Danielle. I drank so much during that time. I almost failed my classes and lost my law school admission. I knew I had to clean up, but I didn’t want to. Devon helped me when I was at my lowest. He didn’t even know me! I couldn’t dump him after that… but I wanted to be with you.”

  Danielle could barely listen to this. Her mind vomited every unfortunate thought she had since the day Alicia dumped her, including, “I was asking you to move in with me that night.”

  Alicia wiped her cheeks with her immaculate fingers. “You were?”

  “Yes.”

  “God. You were going to compromise your job for me?”

  “I loved you. I wanted to be with you.”

  “Even if it meant getting discharged?”

  “Yes. I was also willing to help pay for your schooling in case your parents cut you off. I wanted you to be happy.”

  “I was happy.”

  “You chose your family over me. Even though they make you unhappy.”

  “You were my family! And…we have to protect our families, right?”

  “You’re still spouting bullshit.”

  “It’s true!”

  Danielle released the tension in her hands, but she could not be bothered to pay any heed to the cuts her own nails gave the palms of her hands. “So, you still love me, you say?”

  “I think so.” Alicia’s eyes lit up for the first time since entering the apartment she once almost shared with Danielle. “I don’t think I ever stopped. There hasn’t been a single day I haven’t thought about you. When I’m sad, all I can think about is wanting you to hold me and tell me I’m okay. When I’m happy, all I want is to tell you about it. I miss you. I miss everything. I miss coming here, I miss our dates, I miss watching movies on your couch, I miss your crappy cooking…”

  “Excuse me?”

  “…I miss kissing you, I miss making love to you, I miss everything.” She slammed a fist onto the kitchen counter. “I was such an idiot. I should’ve told you what my father was saying instead of doing what I did. But I thought it was the only way. I didn’t want your life to be ruined because of my dad.”

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake, it’s not like I’m married to the damn military. Sure, your dad’s awful, but you don’t have to be afraid of him.”

  “I haven’t spoken to him in two months.”

  “See? You’re fine.”

  “But I’m not fine.” Alicia slipped off the stool. “I just want to be with you.” She grabbed Danielle by the forearm and pulled her forward. Even though Danielle was older, taller, and certainly stronger than this pitiful young woman, she was unable to escape from Alicia’s tight grasp. Alicia pressed her cheek against Danielle’s breasts. “I’m not afraid. I’ve spent the last year trying to figure out how to call you, how to write you, how to come here and say the things I have. It wasn’t until I saw you that I knew I finally had to do it. Please…” She lifted her head and tilted Danielle’s down. “Forgive me.”

  “No.” Danielle finally found the strength to push her away. “I can forgive you for your reasons, but I can’t do it again.” She shook her head at Alicia’s dismayed countenance. “I thought I could. I thought I wanted you back. But I don’t. You’re the last thing I need.”

  “But…”

  Danielle held her hands up to Alicia’s quivering face. “No. It’s over. I don’t regret our relationship, but I do regret spending so much time thinking about you. I’ve moved on. It’s not fair to ask me to take you back.”

  The atmosphere descended from its desperate high to nothing but cold, indifferent despair. As the seconds dragged on, Alicia considered the floor beneath her feet while Danielle fought with her own feelings. She did not have the heart to cast Alicia out of her apartment like some dirty doll. Yet she also had no desire to let her hang around, lest Alicia tried to make another attempt at pulling on Danielle’s hardened heartstrings.

  “I understand.” Alicia flicked her eyes to Danielle’s one last time before turning toward the door. “I only wish things were different, you know? I like to think about what would have happened if I didn’t leave. What would be different if my parents, especially my dad, were more rational people. I’ll probably always think about it, but you’re right. You deserve someone who will never leave your side like I did. I hope we can be friends someday.”

  Alicia walked away, hand clasped around the locket her ex once gave her. Danielle’s breath was heavy as she forced back words scrambling in her throat. Words that had no purpose beyond carrying any of the last remaining feelings she may have harbored toward her ex. But Alicia was out the door before Danielle could put any words into logical thoughts.

  “Don’t ever date somebody that young again.” She pressed her hot tattoo to her forehead. Her heart fluttered so rapidly and the sweat came down her brow so quickly that Danielle never stopped to question why her tattoo burned around her ex-girlfriend. She was too busy panicking about the past after seeing that locket around Alicia’s neck. Too many memories. Too many what-ifs.

  TWENTY-TWO

  In twenty-two years, Devon had been to his share of offices, stood in his share of lines, and filled out his share of forms. But nothing was ever as monotonous, as soul stealing, or as boring as waiting around in the DMV.

  He arrived at one, a full hour before his appointment because he knew the local DMV would be as busy as a mall before Christmas. As he waited for his number, he forced the butterflies out of his stomach and focused on proving he was not a menace to other drivers roaming the streets of America.

  In fact, Devon had been so up the ass of studying for this test at home that he completely blanked out on telling Danielle about St. Lucia the Relic for a whole damn day. Not that he had realized this yet, of course.

  No, instead, Devon flitted between memorizing more road signs, numbers, and hand signals. The Relic could come later. Right now, he had other things to worry about, like passing his driver’s test and maybe finally getting a car.

  Oh, and he might want to worry about that gun pressed into the back of his skull, too.

  One second was all it took for three events to explode in the large DMV office: Devon flung himself to the ground like a rocket blasting out of his seat, the surrounding guests screamed in high-pitched fright, and a bullet blasted into the wall. A sixteen-year-old who had just posed for his license found himself with wet pants.

  Devon tumbled over the floor, his half-finished forms, pen, and study materials disappearing beneath the plastic seats. A dark figure jumped over chairs and chased him down through the crowd of onlookers who continued to scream and stampede toward the doorway.

  Syrfila, even in her black ski mask and leather gloves, was unmistakable after Saturday’s events. She leaped across the room faster than Devon could crawl. His only saving grace was the throng of guests and employees surging away from the counter, most of them holding their hands up in a display of mercy toward Syrfila and her handgun. An alarm sounded in the distance. Devon was right to have a feeling that Syrfila wasn’t going to wait around for the cops to show up. Who knew how many of them were in with the Federation in a major city like that?

  Any effort to scream in fright was instead channeled into his muscles, urging him to keep rolling, crawling, and flinging himself behind the counter in the hopes that Syrfila would spend her bullets before she had a chance to hit him. Because that was another bullet grazing his ear and shattering what should have been bulletproof glass.

  Shit.

  He was trapped like a dog in a cage.

  If there was an emergency exit back there, then he was too stupid to see it. It didn’t help that Syrfila had quickly gained ground, with plenty of bullets to spare for his ass.

  Thi
s was the closest Devon had come to seeing his current life flash before his eyes. A quiet childhood full of video games and occasionally hanging out with other kids from school. An adolescence that was nonstop music practice and fooling around with whatever girlfriend he had at the time. A young adulthood that was…

  His mind couldn’t decide what woman it wanted to focus on. Alicia, the girlfriend he had cared more for than any other? Or Danielle, the woman he had known for less than a month?

  Survival mode turned on. Whether it was thinking of how the old Sulim would have chastised him for being such a weak idiot in the face of danger, or the current Alicia screaming at him for help… didn’t matter. The instincts he kept from his time as Sonall erupted just in time to save him.

  Folding chair. Asshole’s face. Time for them to meet.

  The sound of the metal cracking against Syrfila’s frame would have made the old Devon puke. But not only was the current Devon fueled entirely by adrenaline, he also had a much higher tolerance for disgusting displays of anatomy gone wrong. He had seen worse on his original home planet, anyway. What was a nose exploding with blood? At least it proved Syrfila was mortal!

  It also gave him the few precious seconds necessary to make his escape toward the sliding glass doors at the front of the DMV office.

  He stopped to catch his breath in the hallway before racing outside. But before he could join the open world, two armed security guards came his way, barking orders and asking a ton of questions he didn’t have time to answer.

  “There’s a shooter in the DMV!” he cried as he ran. More heroes, their well-meaning martyrdom not lost to Devon’s heartstrings, spilled out of cop cars and surrounded the building. They shouted at Devon to run into protective custody, but he bypassed them under the pretense of being scared shitless.

  He ran. He ran so far and so fast his calves burned, but his adrenaline pumped so hard he couldn’t stop. Past shops, past people he was forced to rudely shove out of the way, and past a multitude of police vehicles zooming toward the DMV. No chance to figure out how to use his tattoo to pass through a door and enter Marlow’s safe space. No time to catch his breath. No time to wish he had started regularly hitting the gym a few years ago.