Rebirth (Cross Book 1)

by Hildred Billings

  “Cristina?” A single tear fell down her face as she extended her fingers to touch the circling butterfly. “Mi princesa.”

  Could she kiss her daughter before she flew off to become someone else?

  Could she see the young couple unearthing the statue’s base from where it had stood since the first Japanese settlers came to this part of California? Could she see them hoist it up between them, sharing the load of a heavy stone statue as they made off like bandits into the night? Could she see the dandelion crown plop to the earth, broken? Could she see them hobble down the street back to Danielle’s car, where the statue would barely fit in the trunk?

  No. She only had eyes for the tiny, beautiful butterfly that once inhabited the little princess she gave birth to so long ago.

  A mother never forgot. Not even when she stretched so far out of her window that she toppled from her second story window to the soft earth where St. Lucia once stood. The butterfly said its goodbyes and flew away to its new destiny. Mrs. Gonzalez cried, and not because of her broken arm.

  ***

  The mercenaries drove out of town to the location Evan supplied. As soon as Danielle pulled up to the old house in the countryside, she worried that it wouldn’t be secure enough to house a piece of the Earth’s soul from those who would come to destroy it.

  That was before Evan showed up to unlock the state-of-the-art Federation security system.

  “The military needs this shit.” Danielle leaned against the hood of her car, one foot kicked out before her. Devon stood up straight next to her. They both watched in a mixture of awe and fascination as Evan supplied DNA, fingerprints, keycodes, laser designs, and probably a stool sample to gain access to the basement beneath the house and the vault within.

  “The military has this shit.” Evan motioned for them to grab the statue from the trunk of the car. “Not just your military, either. Half the armies on Earth are protecting their junk with this kind of Federation technology.”

  “You’re kidding.” Danielle popped open her trunk and looked down at the happy, smiling statue gazing back up at her. Devon spat on his hands and prepared to lift the bottom half. “Then why the hell aren’t we part of the Federation if half our governments already know about it?”

  Evan kept watch while the mercenaries hauled the heavy statue down a ramp and into the dark pit of the vault. It did not help that their tattoos burned with more intensity every damn second. How were they supposed to carry this thing if their skin was melting off their bodies?

  “The short story is that Earth is an isolated but inhabited planet the government long decided to leave alone, aside from instances of security breaches. Considering the amount of Federation immigrants who have started moving to your planet en masse since the industrial revolution… ah, never mind. Takes too long to explain. But I will take this time to thank your planet for taking on refugees of Huxon VI after terrorists nuked half their planet.”

  “Huh?” That sound was more relief from putting down the statue than a real question.

  Evan shrugged. “They mostly settled in Australia when nobody was looking.”

  As usual, Devon and Danielle were left more confused than ever before. It was taxing enough trying to keep up with the info they were readily given.

  “I suggest you two get out of here as soon as possible.” Evan finished turning the security back on before gesturing to his own tattoo on the bottom of his arm. “I’ve gotta get going back to my planet before my wife blows up my rah… er, my phone. Let’s just call it my phone.”

  “Send her our condolences for making you help us save our planet.”

  “Eh, she knew what she signed on for when she married one of Master Marlow’s assistants.”

  “Why do you keep calling him Master?” Devon asked.

  Both he and Danielle sat on the hood of her car. Danielle needed a quick rest before driving to wherever they felt safest that night. Evan was more into activating his tattoo and stepping through the front door of this empty house and into his boss’s pocket dimension.

  “Because that’s what you call the head of a julah family. They have their own silly hierarchy we mere humans play along with because they keep the spiritual balance in the universe. If you want to know more, feel free to bug my boss and piss him off with inane questions.” He opened the door. “I mean, you know how he is. Distracted with the whole rogue asshole of a friend thing for the past thousand Federation years. See ya!” He disappeared behind the door.

  The night was cool and quiet save for the happy chirping of crickets. Danielle unfolded her arms and looked toward Devon. “Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.”

  “Quick thinking insinuating that Alicia is pregnant. That lady scared me to death.”

  “It’s cool. I’m the brains and gun of this operation.”

  “As soon as I hit the gym more, I could be the brawns.”

  Danielle rolled her eyes. “Whatever you say.”

  “I’m serious.” They hopped off the hood and got back into the car. “I used to be ripped. Feels kinda weird not to be now.”

  Danielle started up the car and quickly pulled away from the guarded house. She wasn’t ready to go home even though it was well after midnight. Where would they go, anyway? Devon’s place definitely wasn’t safe. Her place? Ha! She may own a gun, but it wouldn’t do them any good asleep. At the very least, they would be spending a lot of time together when Danielle wasn’t at work. The plan was for Devon to stay out and about – and alert – or holing himself up in Marlow’s office. Danielle figured she was safe enough in M-Town.

  As Devon began to protest, Danielle drove to the nearest airfield. There was a small cliff overlooking the landing strip where strung-out potheads and young couples liked to park. But that night it was empty, save for the trees rustling with the breeze.

  Danielle shut off the engine. Devon glanced at the star-filled night before saying, “I think this is where I was conceived.”

  “I know it’s kinda sketchy, but it’s quiet. Even when there’s a couple in the car next to you having really bad sex.”

  “Oh, come here often?”

  “Sometimes.”

  “For what? The quiet or the really bad sex?”

  Danielle undid her seatbelt and leaned her head back. “The quiet, mostly.”

  “Mostly?”

  She said nothing, since it wasn’t Devon’s business what she got up to in her private time – besides, he didn’t need to know that this was one of her and Alicia’s favorite spots back when they dated. Since then, Danielle returned whenever she had a cloudy mind, for she had long admired how bright the stars were in this part of the world.

  Danielle waited another moment before opening her door. “I’ve gotta get some air.”

  She idled near the car before leaning against the edge of the hood. There she remained alone until Devon struck up the nerve to exit the car as well.

  “I gotta admit, it’s times like these that I wish I either smoked or did recreational drugs,” Danielle pulled her legs up. “Maybe I should smoke pot to take care of both of those urges.”

  “What in the world spurred that on?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. Guess I’m more stressed out than I thought I was. Seems like the time to score some weed.”

  Tension hung in the air. Devon was used to tension with other women, but this was some terrible mix of attraction and get the hell away from me. As if Danielle were in some limbo between business partner and prospective lover.

  Even though he knew his memories and innermost feelings carried over from past lives, he was still perturbed that his soul wished to have her as a lover. But as they sat together, on the hood of Danielle’s car in an area usually reserved for unruly teens who did not know love from lust, Devon was aware that this was the same comfort they shared before in past lives.

  They were both trapped in the Process, and deep down they shared the same history as children who were taken as prisoners of war and trained
to become the very savages that ripped them from their homes.

  Devon almost couldn’t believe the things he knew as truths now. He recalled having a sister, who was not strong enough to endure their kidnapping and inevitable adoption into the mercenary lifestyle. She had taken her own life, abandoning her self-appointed post of protecting her brother from the barbarians who had slain their well-off parents and taken them hostage.Some things made sense now. When he was a child, Devon had an imaginary friend who hung around much longer than was socially kosher. He played games with a girl named Grey. Went to school with her. Ate dinner with her. Did homework and took baths with her. His aunt had tolerated it until she and his teachers realized he was much too old and his classmates were starting to bully him for his imaginary girlfriend. Now? Devon knew. That girl who so naturally fit into his life was the fading memory of that sister he lost a thousand years ago.

  He had the sudden urge to touch Danielle, to reassure himself that at least this person was still in his life. Perhaps this reflex was because he secretly wished for the attention of an older female, or because he knew his poor sister had been replaced with the partner he knew would never love him like he loved her.

  “Danielle.” He waited until she glanced at him through the corners of her hazel eyes before continuing. “Why do you think we never stayed together in previous lives?”

  “What?”

  “Those records that we read in Marlow’s library… some of them said that we were once married. But we split up. Why do you think that is?”

  “Like I know. I don’t remember that shit.”

  “Me neither. But…” Sonall knew, but something prevented Devon from accessing this part of his memory. “I don’t know. Seems weird that would happen so much, don’t you think?”

  “Maybe I preferred women through all my lives. That man said innate traits carry on like that. Maybe there really is a gay gene and it lives next to my blond gene.”

  “You know that you were always blond?”

  Danielle hesitated. “I don’t know. Only when I try to imagine myself in a past life, I see myself like I am now, you know?”

  “I guess that makes sense. Are you starting to remember things?”

  “No. I don’t really want to, either.”

  “Why?”

  One second ago, Danielle felt at peace in the tranquil outdoors. Why did Devon have to go and disrupt her all over again? She could not answer him, anyway. There was a part of her that rejected remembering anything. She was a woman who tried to live in the present, as tough as that was for her at times. When she occasionally did remember something, it happened violently.

  “I guess the past was too painful,” was all she said.

  “Did you lose somebody too?”

  Another moment of silence. The kind of loneliness Danielle felt was not related to a family member dying or separation from her original home. Instead, Danielle felt the kind of heartbreaking pain she had not experienced since Alicia dumped her.

  Amplified.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Don’t worry about me,” she spat. “We shouldn’t dwell on the past, anyway. Let’s focus on what’s happening now.”

  “Whatever you want.”

  “What happened to Alicia?”

  Devon sighed. “No idea. I haven’t seen her since Sunday. I tried calling her, but she never responded. I’d be worried if I didn’t know she’s probably with one of her friends.”

  “I saw her today.”

  “What?”

  Danielle went over what transpired between her and her ex-girlfriend. As she mentioned things like Alicia crying and begging for forgiveness, Devon could only sit, mouth agape. That was so beyond the Alicia he had known for over a year.

  “I can’t see it, really,” he mumbled. “I mean, Alicia is such a hot-head.”

  “The Alicia I dated was fun. She must’ve been fucked up for her to be such an ass now.”

  “How did you two even meet? I mean, no offense, but she’s like… seven years younger than you.”

  Danielle groaned. Yet she had opened this can of worms and was responsible for shoving them back in. “I happened to go to a club that she frequented. It’s nothing special, really. We met and talked there, and she asked me for my number.”

  “Wow, so she asked you out?”

  “We had coffee and watched a movie at my place. We were going steady already.”

  “Didn’t the age difference bother you?”

  Danielle’s right eye twitched as she thought about Alicia. “Not really. I mean it was odd contending with a girlfriend who had a class schedule as opposed to a work one like I had. The hardest part was trying to keep people from work from finding out about us, but that would happen with a girlfriend of any age.”

  Devon stared up at the stars. “Have you ever… never mind.”

  “Have I ever what?” She did not look at him.

  The stars twinkled in sync with the rapid beating of Devon’s heart. “Have you ever thought about what we were like back then? I mean, when I remember things, I feel like I was different, yet totally the same… does that make sense? How about you?”

  “I told you, I don’t remember anything.”

  “You have visions, don’t you?”

  “They don’t tell me anything but fear.”

  “But what do you envision?”

  Sighing, Danielle turned away. “Death. War. Fun things like that. They crippled me when I was a little kid, but it’s a part of life now.”

  “You never envision anything happy?”

  Danielle’s brain automatically went to her most recent – and exceptionally vivid – sex dream. How was she supposed to share that with him? “Sometimes I feel things like warmth, but it’s usually destroyed.”

  “You don’t even remember things like if you were in love?”

  Silence. Danielle considered his question but had no definite answer.

  “I don’t know anything about that.”

  “Hm.” Devon bit his lip as he recalled Sonall’s feelings for his partner. Tapping into this part of his long-term memory made his chest constrict. Best to swallow some bile… and his pride. The confession coming was nothing more than a byproduct of him lingering on the hopes and desires of a man long dead.

  “I was in love with you.” There it was. Something he couldn’t take back. “Sonall was in love with Sulim. I know this as much as I know the sky is blue and you’re about to punch me.”

  Her shoulders slumped as she kicked her foot off the car. “I know. I always knew it.”

  “Is that you talking, or Sulim?”

  “I don’t know. It doesn’t matter, does it?” She glanced at him again. “But talking about this isn’t going to make you feel any better… if anything, you’re going to feel worse. You may know that you loved me then, but I know that I did not love you. I never loved you like that. That’s why we never worked out.”

  “Then why did you marry me all those times?”

  “I don’t know. Because I was drawn to you, I suppose. Because I knew we were supposed to be together, but apparently not in that way.”

  Devon had to say something that had been bugging him for a thousand years. “You were in love, weren’t you?”

  “I don’t remember.”

  “But you remembered all that.”

  “It’s not remembering. It’s knowing.” Danielle grunted. “If I can’t feel that way for you now, Devon, I doubt I ever could.”

  “Yeah, forget I said anything.”

  “Let’s change the subject,” she suggested. “I brought us out here to relax, not to stress out about shit. Who knows what’s waiting for us back in the city?”

  Devon was more than grateful to change the subject from his long-term, one-sided love for her. “My band has its first real gig this weekend. With any luck we won’t get shot.”

  “Do something normal and fun, right?”

  “I haven’t been able to focus on my band lately because of…
well, you know.”

  “What kind of band is it?”

  “Rock. Random shit my friends and I put together.”

  “Good luck on your show, then.”

  “You should come.”

  “What?” Danielle glanced at Devon’s hopeful visage out of the corner of her darkening eyes. “Are you kidding? I’ll be the oldest one there!”

  “But think of all the hot young college girls! I hear you’re into them.”

  Danielle made no promises. “C’mon. Let’s go home,” she said. “You can crash on my couch and keep watch for assholes with guns.”

  Devon didn’t want to remind her that he didn’t know how to use a gun, but he was so tired that he figured he’d sleep through a break-in, anyway.

  TWENTY-FOUR

  After a stressful band practice comprised of bickering over song keys, drum pacing, and bloody fingertips, Devon returned to his empty apartment with the mission of opening a beer and relaxing in front of the TV. At first, the eerie silence of the apartment left him confused, but once he remembered Alicia was no longer there… well, the apartment was still uncomfortably silent. The silence either meant nobody waited to kill him, or he had about three more seconds to live. At least his bed was more comfortable than Danielle’s couch. A man could only toss and turn on that thing for so long.

  The front door opened the moment he sat down with his beer. Alicia wandered in, hair disheveled and clothes wrinkled. Devon almost spilled his beer on his Xbox controller.

  “Where have you been?”

  Alicia braced herself against the coat rack. “Shit. I didn’t think you would be home.”

  “Well, I am.” He rounded the couch but did not further approach her. “Are you okay? What’s going on? You haven’t responded to any of my calls.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “How am I supposed to know that?”

  Alicia balked at the tone in his voice, but did not forfeit her spot by the front door. “I told you I’m fine. I’ve been staying with a friend. I came back to get some clothes.”

  “We need to talk.”