Duality

by Layla Heart

  ‘What use is a queen with only defensive magic?’ Ember pushes her head against my arm.

  Yes, that too. We need to find out if she’s got offensive magic too, preferably something strong that will be easy to handle, like summoning fire or something like that. Easy and effective. But if she doesn’t know how to even sense her own magic, then how can we teach her to use it?

  ‘Pushing her to her limits can be very dangerous. But it may be worth the risk.’

  I glare at Ember. ‘You just like to watch things burn, literally.’

  She stands up with a huff and turns around, walking to the end of the bed and curling up there instead. ‘You just don’t like taking risks.’

  I stop moving. No, I don’t, not too many anyway. I don’t see why taking risks is so important, especially when there are better ways to do things, safer ways. But if I have to... I will take risks. I rub the inside of my arm, a small pink scar right inside my elbow, it’s not like I’ve not been taking any risks lately.

  Having Litha here is great, and she’s very sweet, but I don’t know if she even realises what’s going on out there. The dangers witches are in, the dangers the other races are in. She has no idea of our history and what she’s seen here is mostly just happy stuff, people peacefully living together, but that’s not what it’s like outside the walls. That’s not what it’s like once we leave this place. If she thinks our whole world is like this, she’s going to be in for a shock...

  Maybe I should talk this over with Finn, see what he comes up with, something I never thought I’d think. But when it comes to magic, he’s the best equipped of the princes to help me out, he knows how to use and control it. In the normal ways, that is, not the ways his father is experimenting with, but how you control magic in a natural way.

  I never thought I’d be part of the group of people around Litha, nothing beyond being her roommate anyway, let alone work together with the prince of the fae to teach her about her magic...

  I put my book aside, stretching out on my bed and closing my eyes. Like this summer hasn’t been strange enough already, everything is only getting weirder and somehow I’m even starting to get excited about it. I want to help Litha. I want to be there with the princes, help her grow to her full potential, watch who she can become when she gets a little help...

  I just want to be with her, and that makes me realise I’m already lost, stuck inside her orbit, and I don’t even want to leave...

  9

  I can’t wait until this class is finally over... I’m already so done with this week, and this is just the first day.

  I’m sitting at the back of the class, Litha next to me, and on her other side is Rune. Rune and I always share most of our classes, we always have, we like sharing classes, but right now, it’s just too much. I never realised how much we’re always together and I can’t deal with it. I don’t want to do any of this anymore. I just want to go back to the house, go to my room and just have time to myself, not having to think of anyone, especially not him, but I know that that’s probably not going to happen...

  When the professor finally seems to take a breath and puts his marker down, he looks over the class. “For the next class, I want you to research the arguments for and against using Venus for long-term predictions of power mentioned in the first half of the chapter and give me a written essay of your findings. It needs to be two sides long, and in standard academy formatting, which you all know how to do by now, you’re not getting away with padding out the work with extra spacing.”

  A couple of the people in the class groan as they start packing their bags.

  “Just because it’s the first week doesn’t mean it’s going to be an easy week, starting strong is half the battle.” The professor looks at everyone. “Class dismissed.” He starts erasing some of the notes, cleaning the board for the next class.

  I lean back, stretching my hand, those were way too many notes to write down. Then I glance over to Litha, who has tears in her eyes and she’s still furiously copying notes from the board.

  “Prof, can you leave them for a while longer?” I stand up, trying to find where Litha is in her copying. “Litha doesn’t have all of them written down yet.”

  He nods, instead packing his bag. “If she can’t keep up with the speed of the class, she may want to take another one, this isn’t a class for beginners.”

  “She’ll be fine,” Rune growls, and even the professor tenses at the tone. “She just needs to get into it. Lots of people have trouble keeping up on the first day.”

  “Maybe he’s right...” Litha’s voice is barely over a whisper and anger flashes in me. “Maybe this class isn’t for me.”

  “No, you’ll be fine. We’re going to make sure of that.” I put my hand on her back and the flood of frustration but also hopelessness hurts my heart. We’ll make sure she’s going to ace this class, no matter how long it takes. When I meet Rune’s eyes, I see the same determination in his gaze.

  We’re going to make this work, for Litha. We’re not letting her down.

  “You survived your first day of classes. I think you deserve a really good hot meal and some quiet time.” Rune wraps himself around Litha as we leave the classroom, like he’s a cat and not a dragon shifter, it’s like he’s purring even.

  Longing to be held by him flashes through me so painfully that I’m surprised he doesn’t look at me with worry in his eyes. I miss his touch, his body against mine. Even though it’s only been a couple of days, and I’m still upset with him, I need him.

  “I know just the place.” Rune’s voice is rougher now, not as clear as before. And did he just glance my way with that dark look of his?

  “I don’t want to go anywhere busy, I just want to curl up and do nothing.” Litha leans against him, but then reaches out to me and takes my hand, pulling me closer too. “But I also don’t want to be without you two.” She’s exhausted, so exhausted, but I also sense her need to be held and to be touched, to not be alone. She craves closeness as much as I do right now. I swallow the lump in my throat, not wanting to show how affected I am by her emotions, and my own.

  “I think we can make that work.” Rune lets out a low rumbling laugh, making my stomach all twist in on itself, my need for him getting stronger.

  Staying away from him helped to ignore how he makes me feel, it helped to not feel these feelings for him and stay angry with him, but now I’m near him...

  He meets my eyes and the steadiness in them calms me down a little. “Can you call the cafe? Get us a room?”

  “A room?” Litha looks between us, and I’m almost smiling, both at the idea of ordering a room for the three of us, like nothing is wrong, like ordering a room for two princes and a queen-to-be is nothing odd, and at the confusion in Litha’s eyes.

  “Will do.” I grab my phone, but instead of calling, I just message Acadia with the question. She’s used to getting requests like this from me. There are only so many places you can hang out as princes when you’re trying to hide what you’re doing from the rest of your housemates... “Done, let’s go.” I tug on Litha’s hand as we make our way to the gates.

  I know the headmaster told us to stay on campus, but the cafe is not too far away, just a few streets, and it’s a safe place. It’s not like anything is going to happen on the trip there, the town is too well guarded for that. I know that all of us staying on campus is easier for them to keep an eye on us, but we’re safe at the cafe, nothing will happen to us there.

  As we pass the gates, the guards nodding to us, Litha looks at me and then at Rune. “How often do you go to the cafe?”

  Rune smirks as he glances my way. “We’re really not at the library as often as Finn and Bane think.”

  I chuckle. “Which is a great way to say that we’ve been there way more often than we were supposed to, and we always had to worry about being caught when we sneak back onto the grounds much too late at night, after the gates close. Though, that was on the old campus, these don’t close that
early.” And I have no idea how to get back in if we do get locked out, since I’ve not found any hidden entrances and such yet.

  She lets out a warm laugh, calming me down a little, she already looks happier than she did in class. “I can imagine that that never went over well with those in charge...”

  “Nope.” Rune’s fingers graze my arm for a moment as he pulls her closer, and the anxiety flooding through him surprises me, but when I look at him he won’t meet my eyes. What’s he so worried about?

  We reach the cafe and Acadia immediately guides us down the hallway, this time pointing us towards the set of hidden stairs in the back. “What would you like to eat later? Same as always?”

  I look at Litha, and then Rune. “I think we’ll have to let you know later. She’s not been here for dinner before.”

  “That’s fine with me too. Here is your key, and use the bell when you want to order. It’ll be up as soon as possible.” She gives me the key, holding my hand for a moment as she looks at me. Even the women working here know when stuff is not going well, especially between Rune and me, we come here way too often.

  I try to smile, showing that I’m fine. “Thanks. We’ll let you know what we want.” I walk up the stairs first. There is only one room up here, since the cafe isn’t really a place to sleep or anything like that... But the room does have a bed, some comfy couches, and a table to eat at. It’s more of a ‘hanging out and having adult fun’ kind of room. Or... Well... Rune and I have actually just studied here a lot too. It’s nice and quiet, makes it easy to focus, and to have sex during breaks.

  Litha follows me into the room, looking around, her eyes big. “Wow! I didn’t...” She goes to the window, which has a great view of the town, looking out over the street leading up to the campus, and you can even see the high wall around the campus from here, though because of the corner of the road, you can’t see the gates from here, just the street leading up to it. “It’s so pretty.”

  “It is.” I walk to her, wrapping my arms around her and I put my chin on her shoulder, looking out the window with her. She’s so soft in my arms, and she feels so good. I just wish I could do more than hold her, I need her more than this. Being around her, I need her more and more, and keeping my hand in ‘appropriate’ places is getting harder and harder.

  Rune leans on the other side of the window, right in our view, his shoulder against the wall, making himself look even bigger than he is. I feel his gaze on both of us, even though I’m trying my best not to actually look at him, his eyes are warm, caring, but also sad.

  Litha takes a slow breath, her shoulders tensing just a fraction against me. “Are you two done with whatever you were fighting over?” Her voice is soft, but she’s obviously aware of stuff not being right.

  “That’s up to Kit, not me.” Rune’s voice is low, like a mountain moving, crunching boulders together in his wake. I know that voice, it’s his pain. “I’m really sorry about what I did, but...” He shakes his head, closing his eyes. “I felt like I didn’t have a choice.”

  “You always have a choice.” I glare at him, but the anger disappears when he opens his eyes again and I can see his pain. “You had a choice, you made it. I get not telling the guys, but why not me?” My voice almost gives out on me, but I keep going, asking the questions which have plagued me since I found out.

  “I didn’t want to scare you. I knew it would scare you off and I couldn’t lose you.” He turns around, walking to the middle of the room and putting his hands on the table, the muscles in his back tense, standing out under his shirt. “I couldn’t. And I would have.”

  That makes me stop for a moment. Surprised by his answer. “How would you have lost me?”

  He takes a deep breath but doesn’t reply again.

  “Rune?” I’m getting scared, my heart beating fast, not sure what to expect. He knows what I’m feeling, he can feel these emotions. Why isn’t he answering me? I would never have pushed him away, but that doesn’t take away the sting of him lying to me.

  “Because of the implications of what I can do. What it means, for all of us. Not just you, but all of us.” He shakes his head, his back still to us, the table creaking under his strength.

  Litha tugs me along to Rune and when I’m close enough to look at his face, tears spring in my eyes. He’s really upset, scared, and I have no idea why. I automatically reach out to him, trying to soothe him, when I feel his emotions rush through me, and it takes away my breath. Oh, fuck. No way. I try to look at him, have him look at me fully, but he actually looks away.

  “I’m so sorry, Kit.” He takes my hand, putting it on the table next to him so I’m no longer touching him, so I can’t feel his emotions anymore.

  Oh, fucking hell. My heart tightens and fills at the same time. Not what I expected, at all.

  “What is it?” Litha’s voice barely reaches me, but her worry still filters through. “Why did he think that he’d lose you?”

  I lick my lips, glancing her way for a moment, the implications of his words making everything so much worse and I understand his fear, the same fear which is in my heart. “He loves us. He loves you. He loves me.” I shake my head. “We’re...”

  “You’re my hoard.” Rune finally stands up straight, looking at the both of us, the possessiveness in his gaze he’s always trying to hide so clear now, making my heart skip a beat and I’m rock hard. Fuck.

  I’d never dared to hope, but now... Knowing he feels like this... I’m even more scared.

  Love. He didn’t dare to tell me about how his powers worked because he loves me, and can’t stand losing me.

  10

  I blink, looking between the two princes, the way their eyes meet, their whole body language. Something has changed, something big, enormous.

  “Of course.” Like that was ever a question, like that wasn’t obvious from the start. I reach out, taking their hands, bringing them together, feeling the jolt going through them both as they touch again, both trying to pull away, but I’m not letting go. “Of course, you love each other. Anyone who can’t see that is not actually looking at you.”

  “Litha...” Rune’s voice isn’t deep like it normally is, but the sound of air squeezing through a narrow space, high pitched. “Do you even realise... Do you know what it means? Being part of a hoard? What I can do?”

  “You love us?” I look up at him, not really sure what the problem is. Feeling loved by him feels good, right. I don’t see what the problem with that is.

  “That too.” He lets out a little laugh, easing his stance. “But that’s not all.” He takes my hand with his other hand, keeping his grip on Kit, pulling us both to the bed, and tugging us into the mountain of pillows and blankets. He’s in the middle between us, both of us curled under his arms, our heads on his chest, and his arms strong around us. Then I take Kit’s hand, weaving my fingers through his and putting them on Rune’s chest between us. Rune takes slow and steady breaths, and I feel myself relax against him more, becoming more at ease. “I guess I should explain a bit more about who I am, and what I mean when I say hoard.”

  “And this time without leaving any details out,” Kit grumbles. He still doesn’t seem fully convinced, but he seems relaxed and has his eyes closed.

  “All the details included, I promise.” Rune’s rumbling laugh vibrates through his chest. “All dragons have what is called a hoard. A hoard is a collection of their most important items or things in the world. This often includes people too. Usually, dragons can recognise the people from their hoard when they meet them and they can sense them, no matter where they are. Things or people, doesn’t really matter in this case.” He takes a deep breath as I try to make sense of his rambling words. “When I was young, I recognised Kit and then Bane and Finn as my hoard when I met them. I was young, I thought being part of the hoard just meant we had strong friendships, that they were people who mattered to me, a sort of chosen family. But as I got older, I realised there was more to it. I could feel their emotions, how the
y felt, and also their general direction. This came in handy when I wanted to make sure everyone was okay, which was a need from a young age. My dragon always needed to make sure that they were safe, that there wasn’t anything wrong with them.” He moves a little. “When I told you, Kit, I didn’t lie when I said I felt your general direction, it’s how it started.”

  Kit nods, but doesn’t open his eyes yet, his fingers tightening between mine.

  “As I got older, when we hit secondary school, I realised I could feel their exact location and what they were feeling at any time. This was constant, even though I always tried to ignore it, I always knew. It was also around this time I started to realise the implications of what I was feeling. They were —lacking a better word— mine.” He almost growls the last word, the vibrations in his chest strong.

  “Was that when you lied to me?” Kit grumbles, but he’s now looking up at Rune, emotions flashing in his eyes, making my whole body squirm.

  Rune is quiet for a few moments. “Yes.” He takes a deep breath. “You were having fun, meeting people, playing around with them, and even though I knew what I felt for you, I didn’t want to scare you off. You didn’t seem open to the idea of...” Rune glances at him. “So I lied, hid the extent of the bond we had, what my powers really were.”

  I look up at him more and my heart hurts at the pain in his eyes. It must have been horrible, having to hide part of himself from the guy he truly loves.

  On his other side, Kit jerks his head up to look at Rune too, like he only now realises what’s going on in Rune’s mind. “Fucking hell, dude.” Kit shakes his head, letting out a shaky breath. “You would never have scared me off. Never. Not possible. I’ve never been scared of being bound to you, I’ve always been scared of...” He glances down, his face twisting, tears glistening in his eyes. “This sounds silly now. I’ve always been scared of not being bound to you. Not bound enough.”