The Devil Is a Part-Timer!, Vol. 7

by Satoshi Wagahara

Emi had trouble parsing all of it at once.

  “Is it not obvious?!” a peeved Ashiya shouted, rubbing a wet washcloth against the floor.

  “Um,” Emi answered, holy sword still thrust into the sky. “You were trying to give milk to that kitten, it jumped out of your lap and knocked over the powdered milk container, and now you’re trying to syringe-feed him? …Maybe that?”

  She had a decent hunch she was right.

  “If you can see that, then get out of here!” Ashiya screeched. “We do not have the time to deal with you right now!”

  “Ashiya, inside voice, okay? You’re gonna make him panic again… Oh, I think he’s having some.”

  The silvery kitten in Maou’s hands, finally admitting surrender, began nursing on the cap of the feeding syringe.

  “There we go! See? Just be a good cat and drink up, and there’s nothing to be scared of! Eesh…”

  Maou continued to gripe as he pushed down on the plunger, making sure none of the milk spilled out of his patient’s mouth.

  “Awesome. We’re done. Okay, back you go!”

  He then placed the kitten back inside a fairly large cardboard box in another corner of the room.

  “Um…so what’s that kitten about, anyway? You’re really not gonna eat him?”

  “…Look, Emi, who do you think we are, anyway?”

  “Demons?”

  “Indeed, my liege.”

  “Yeah, I—ahhh-choo!”

  The sneezing seemed to be gaining in volume. It was drowned out by a pounding on the door.

  “Emilia! Emilia, what is happening in there? I demand to know! Tell me!”

  “I’m up way too early for this crap,” Maou whined as he rushed to the door before it got knocked off its hinges.

  “M-my liege, watch where you—!!”

  Ashiya’s warning came an instant too late for Maou to avoid stepping right on the milk powder he hadn’t wiped up yet. He groaned in defeat.

  Maou, realizing the need to placate the still-suspicious Suzuno, decided it was high time to explain the events of the previous night to the two human girls.

  “So you know how cold it was overnight last night, right? I figured a little guy like this would die out there unless he had some shelter ’n’ stuff. There wasn’t anyone else I could take him to back there, either, so… It’s just human decency, you know, Alas Ramus?”

  “Meow Meow!”

  His eyes were pointed at the child seated in Emi’s lap.

  Emi swinging her holy sword around Devil’s Castle was enough to wake Alas Ramus up, but the sight of the kitten made any annoyance at the rude awakening quickly forgotten.

  “Meow Meow! Meowwwww? Lemme look!”

  It took a herculean effort from Emi to keep the intensely curious Alas Ramus from running right up to the box. Restraint wasn’t in her dictionary yet, which could leave either her or the kitten or both with scars, so Emi decided to err on the side of caution.

  “Don’t talk to me about human decency, you,” an irritated Emi growled as she played an ever-evolving game of grab-the-toddler with Alas Ramus.

  “But,” Suzuno said as she peered into the box, her hair already set back in place, “perhaps we should not blame him.”

  Inside the simple, towel-lined shelter was a small, furry ball of silver, his tiny legs propelling him as he sniffed around the walls. Sometimes he would dart his nose into a corner, seeking to answer some question only he could perceive; sometimes he would stop dead and stare at an empty point in the air. It was completely unpredictable, and every move was more endearingly cute than the last one.

  “Your mouth’s open, Suzuno.”

  “Agh!!”

  Suzuno, enthralled, snapped out of it and looked back up.

  “Hmph,” Ashiya snorted, taking care of the last of the spilled powder. “The high and mighty Church cleric rendered dumb by such a juvenile sight. Why, how are you any different from Alas Ramus, I ask?”

  Suzuno ignored him, cheeks flushed. “Well,” she grumbled at Maou, “at least I know you are unwilling to prey upon defenseless animals for your nefarious schemes, at the very least.”

  “Come on.”

  “Daddy! No eating Meow Meow!”

  Maou rolled his eyes at the both of them. “See? Now you got Alas Ramus thinking I’m the villain here.”

  “…I apologize. But!” Suzuno paused for breath, looking around at Devil’s Castle, arranged identically to her own room. “What do you intend to do with it? Villa Rosa Sasazuka explicitly bans pets from the premises.”

  “…Yeah, about that.”

  Judging by Maou’s facial reaction, it was a bitter pill to swallow. That, after all, was the central point of most of his and Ashiya’s arguing last night. Even in a place like Villa Rosa whose motto was essentially total freedom—no deposit, no key money, no maintenance fees, essentially no building-upgrade fees, a landlord who was never on premises—the rental contract said “no pets,” just like a lot of shared apartment buildings.

  In cases like these, exactly what “no pets” means is often up to the discretion of the landlord. Sometimes they would allow animals like small birds or fish. But with anything whose noise or smell would bother other tenants, or otherwise affected the condition of the building—it was a given that those were off-limits. It wasn’t exactly a deep, dark secret that cats love sharpening their claws on whatever’s handy, either.

  “But you don’t have any idea where your landlord is right now, do you? You could probably get away with it for a little while.”

  The rather non-Heroic insinuation from Emi was greeted with Maou bitterly turning toward the plastic-covered hole in the wall. “Yeah,” he said, “but thanks to that, the property management guy’s been here a few times.”

  “Oh…”

  Right. That, Emi thought. Half-wrecking your apartment probably would get management involved, wouldn’t it? In fact, quite a lot about the demons’ current housing situation relied completely on the good graces of their mysterious landlord. A breach of contract wouldn’t be the best way to remain in said graces.

  “That, and there’s that problem.”

  “What problem?”

  Maou pointed at the Devil’s Castle closet. Emi and Suzuno realized that Urushihara, seated on the floor just a moment ago, was gone.

  “Indeed,” Ashiya caustically moaned. “We already have one loud freeloader eating us out of house and home. With this in the household, he will be several times louder still.”

  “…ksh,” came the muffled sneeze from behind the closet door.

  “I guess Urushihara’s allergic to cats or something.”

  “What?!”

  The thought never occurred to Emi, despite the near-comical amounts of sniffling. “Demons can have allergies?” Emi asked, honestly curious.

  “Of course they can,” Suzuno countered. “We did not call it as such in the Church hospitals, but the study of epidemiology is well on its way within our confines. People in Ente Isla have even died from anaphylactic shock brought about by a bee sting.”

  “Huh. Maybe we should keep a cat on hand for the next time Lucifer hatches some kind of diabolical plan.”

  “Dude, no!” came the closet-based protest. “This really sucks, okay?”

  Emi, instead of replying, tried pushing the box toward the closet, slowly so as to keep from startling the kitten. Maou gently stopped her.

  “So basically, we can’t keep him here, but it’s not like our landlord’s a monster or anything. If we say we’re keeping him here until we find an owner, I’m pretty sure she’s not gonna say no to that, you know?”

  “Dude, instead of currying favor with a landlord who isn’t here, think about the health of someone who is here, okay? Koff koff…”

  Maou ignored the voice from the closet.

  “So, yeah—do you know anyone interested in adopting that guy?”

  “…Who would I know?” Suzuno indignantly replied. Maou then turned his expectant eyes to Emi, who kept h
er eyebrows low and tensed.

  “I’m pretty sure you know this, but I can’t have pets in my building, either.”

  She was referring to her own apartment in Eifukucho, three train stops away from Maou’s home base in Sasazuka.

  “Yeah, I know, but you’re a call-center lady, right? You think anyone in your office is in the market?”

  “I wouldn’t get my hopes up,” Emi said, “and before that, I’m the Hero, all right? Not just a ‘call-center lady.’”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Maou said with a sigh. “Guess I’ll ask around my work, then.”

  “He doesn’t look that young, though,” a dejected Emi observed. “Especially with that full coat of silver fur and everything. Who’d dump him on the street at this point?”

  “Yeah, no kidding,” Maou nodded. “Like, he was shivering all by himself out by the garbage bins. I felt kinda…bad about it.”

  “You what?” Emi shot back.

  “Uh, never mind. So,” Maou anxiously said, attempting to bounce the conversation off Suzuno instead, “I guess you’re gonna get some more noise from your neighbors for a bit, but I promise it’s temporary, all right?”

  “Hmph. You were hardly ever quiet neighbors in the first place.”

  “Lemme pet Meow Meow!”

  Alas Ramus could wait no longer. Her legs began to flail in the air.

  “Hey, let her pet the guy a little bit.”

  “Oh, all right,” Emi droned. “She’s probably gonna be clinging to him all day, you realize.”

  Then she released Alas Ramus, both her and Maou keeping a close eye on her to prevent too much stimulation for either party.

  “…Do not say anything,” Ashiya told Suzuno as they watched the trio.

  “I am not. I was just marveling at what a nice, tranquil family they have become.”

  “I told you not to say anything.”

  The next day:

  “It was abandoned out back? Oh, that’s terrible!”

  Chiho Sasaki, Maou’s shift coworker at the MgRonald in front of Hatagaya rail station they both worked part-time at, sounded legitimately resentful as he walked with her, pushing his bicycle along on one side. As the only person in Japan who knew about Maou, Ente Isla, and why Emi had so many hang-ups about him, she was accompanying the Devil King on the way to his castle.

  Getting to play with a kitten was always fun, yes…but there was something else she was trying to bring across to him.

  “Yeah, I was pretty freaked out, too.” Maou sighed. “It never really comes when you expect it, y’know? I dunno if me picking him up was the right thing or not, but it’s gotta beat being under the grease bin, at least.”

  “Ha-ha-ha…”

  Maou let out an even deeper sigh when they reached the apartment building. Chiho, for her part, smiled blankly as she looked up at the frail sheet of hard plastic bravely attempting to cover up the cavernous hole in the wall.

  The gloom continued on the way up the stairs and through the door.

  “Yo, I’m back—huh?”

  Quite outside his expectations, the room was completely quiet. Maou swiveled his head around for an explanation.

  “Oh, is nobody here?” Chiho asked from behind his shoulder.

  “…Ashiya’s oud shobbing,” said a voice out of nowhere.

  “Agh!”

  Chiho leaped into the air in surprise, not expecting Urushihara in the closet.

  “Shopping? What about the cat?”

  “I’unno. He wuz dalkin’uh Bell ’boud id, tho.”

  “Um, do you have a cold, Urushihara?”

  Before the nasal voice could answer, Ashiya arrived at the door, shopping bag in hand.

  “Ah, Your Demonic Highness…and Ms. Sasaki as well.”

  “Hello, Ashiya!”

  “Are you here to look at the kitten?”

  Chiho nodded. “Yeah, I thought maybe somebody at school would want it, so…”

  “Oh! Well, superb, then… I apologize, my liege. There were a few items I needed to pick up, so I left the kitten under Bell’s watch.”

  “Oh, was that it?”

  It was the logical choice. Urushihara didn’t want to go near the thing, but the kitten was still young enough that he could no doubt find hundreds of ways to maim himself while Ashiya was gone.

  “Well, here, let’s get ’im back. We’re borrowing her kitchen already—I don’t wanna owe her even more.”

  “Yes, my liege.” Ashiya placed the bag on the center table, then knocked on the door to Room 202. “Bell, it’s me. We are ready for the cat now.”

  “…?”

  A few moments passed. No response.

  “Where is she?”

  “Perhaps Suzuno took a nap.”

  “It couldn’t have been more than half an hour, though… Hmm?”

  Then Ashiya noticed that Suzuno had absentmindedly left the door unlocked. Not that he cared about the cleric’s safety. The cat would always take first priority. He gave the door another knock.

  “Bell? I’m coming in. Do you have the—”

  Once the door was fully open, he stopped.

  “……………………………”

  “Meww, meww, rrrrr…”

  There, before him…

  “……………………………”

  “Rrrrroowwww…”

  …was Suzuno, eyes deadly serious and breathing heavily through her nose as she poked at the cat’s stomach and paws.

  “Um, Suzuno?”

  “……………………………Oh.”

  It took Chiho’s question to stop Suzuno from propping the kitten up and scratching his neck a little. Realizing she and the two demons were there, her face reddened for more reasons than simply the pink and orange of twilight that filled the room.

  “Um, I… No! This is not what it looks like! I, I was merely…”

  “Mew?” protested the cat as Suzuno hurriedly trundled him back into the cardboard box and turned her back to it.

  “Suzuno, your sleeves are covered in cat hair.”

  “Ah, ahhh…”

  Maou pointed at one of them. It was, as he said, covered in a fine layer of silvery sheddings.

  “N-n-n-no! No, this is just, um…!”

  “If you like ’im that much, you could’ve just said so…”

  “He is yours, all right?! Take him back!!”

  She slammed the door on Maou—but only after ensuring the box was safely in his arms.

  “Oooh, look at that little guy!”

  The gasp was audible in Chiho’s voice as she sized up the silver kitten snuffling around in his box.

  “When you said silver, you weren’t kidding, huh? That’s pretty striking!”

  Maou had spent his previous shift at MgRonald asking around the staff on hand to see if anyone had a feline-shaped hole in their hearts that needed filling. He doubted anyone would bite immediately, and as he feared, both Chiho and Kisaki, his manager, hemmed and hawed at the idea, as did everyone else. Most everyone working at the Hatagaya location lived alone in cheap, pet-free rented apartments as well.

  “Boy, it’s too bad my dad’s allergic,” Chiho lamented as she peered into the box. Chiho’s family actually owned their place, for a change, and they didn’t have any pets a cat wouldn’t work with. But, she claimed, her father, Sen’ichi Sasaki, was just as allergic to them as Urushihara.

  “You don’t know anything about who could’ve owned him before?”

  “Nah. Hell, even if I did, I’m not about to return him to someone willing to abandon a kitten on the street.”

  “Yeah, good point. Ooh, he sure is cute, though…”

  Chiho couldn’t wipe the smile off her face if she tried. Especially now, in the light of the sunset making its way into Devil’s Castle, reflecting gold off the kitten’s silver fur.

  “Hmm?”

  It was then that Ashiya, in the kitchen, heard a knock at the door.

  “Alciel?” Suzuno’s hesitant voice mumbled.
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  “What is it, you crazy cat lady?” the uncharacteristically sarcastic Ashiya replied.

  “…Emilia and Alas Ramus are here.”

  “…One second.”

  Ashiya winced to himself as he unlocked the door. He was a demon, a proud one at that, and now it had all but become the norm for him to entertain Heroes and Church clerics in his own home.

  “Meow Meow!”

  There he found Emi, still in what looked to be her work uniform, and Alas Ramus, not-so-obediently staying in her arms.

  “She really loves that guy,” Emi explained listlessly as she came in. “All day at work, it was just ‘meow meow meow meow’ the whole time…”

  “Yeah? Well, keep her on her best behavior, okay? He’s sleeping right now.”

  It was a perfectly normal conversation between a pair of perfectly normal parents. Too bad there was nothing normal about it at all.

  “Shhhh, okay?” Emi warned instead of issuing any protest at Maou. Alas Ramus responded by putting her index finger to her own lips, imitating her mommy. Then she added the middle finger for effect.

  “Meow Meow’s sleeping, all right? We can watch him, but we’ll have to be quiet.”

  “Okey! Shhhh, okay?”

  It was questionable how much she understood, but Chiho still surrendered her spot by the box so Alas Ramus could have a closer look.

  “Meow Meow sleepy?” the child asked after she peeked inside.

  “Mm-hmm,” replied Emi, finger back on her lips. “Don’t wake him up, all right?”

  “Hey, so was anyone at your work interested?” Maou asked.

  “Yeah, I asked around, but most of my coworkers are in rentals, so they couldn’t take him even if they wanted to. I haven’t asked everybody yet, but…”

  Emi’s career involved working at a customer-service call center for the Dokodemo cell phone provider downtown.

  “Oh.” Maou shrugged as he looked around the Devil’s Castle crowd. “Guess I can’t do much keeping this to friends and family, huh?”

  “…Who’re you calling friends?” Emi growled, a bit prickly that Maou counted her in that group.

  “Ahh, you know what I mean.”

  “I wish I didn’t.”

  Emi wanted to continue, but declined, bringing Alas Ramus and the sleeping kitten into consideration. “So…what, then? If you can’t find anyone, are you gonna just keep him?”