College Girl

by Shelia Grace

  “Alex, I’m trying to help you,” he said mildly.

  I laughed.

  “Yeah, I’m sure you are.”

  “You don’t get it, do you? You, little girl, are the rebound. Bennett is going to snap out of this funk of his, and he’s going to get sick of vanilla. I just don’t want to see you get too invested in something that isn’t going to happen. Do yourself a favor and don’t get all starry-eyed because he popped your cherry. You’re a pretty girl. There will be other guys after my buddy.”

  A wave of revulsion hit me.

  “Gee, thanks. Guys like you? I’ll pass.”

  His grip on my wrist tightened as he stood up. He wasn’t as tall as Ryan, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t a lot bigger than me. I stood impassively as he leaned toward me, and when his other hand reached around the back of my neck, I was fully prepared to knee him in the nuts. Then his mouth came down on mine. Rather than fight it, I dropped my free hand to my side and didn’t respond.

  Feeling his tongue push past my lips, I winced at the shock of pleasure. Now I was pissed. I started to kiss him back, and his hand let go of my wrist as his arm wrapped around and grabbed my ass. Suddenly I bit his bottom lip—not hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to startle him. He pulled back and touched his mouth, laughing.

  “The next time you touch me, you’ll need stitches,” I said quietly. “How’s that for fucking vanilla?”

  I walked back into the room and grabbed my backpack and rolling suitcase, returning to snatch up the bottle of lubricant and any condoms Ryan’s asshole friend hadn’t gotten around to blowing up. Shoving them into my purse, I walked to the door where James was waiting.

  “Stitches might be worth it,” he grinned.

  “Fuck off.”

  I followed him through the hotel to the parking lot where he clicked the locks on an insanely large SUV. I sniffed. Of course he was driving the vehicle of choice for assholes the world over. He threw my bags in the back before opening the door and taking my arm.

  “I don’t need your help.”

  He laughed and walked over to the driver’s side. Sitting down, I took out my phone, willing Ryan to text or call. Then I mapped the route to see how long I was going to be stuck in a car with the devil. I exhaled. Nearly five fucking hours. I glanced at James McDevitt.

  “We’ve got five hours, so you wanna tell me what your real problem with women is? Let me guess. Mommy didn’t love you enough?”

  We were already merging onto 101 when he took a hand off the wheel and reached beneath the neckline of his shirt to pull out a chain. On it was a solitaire ring with a diamond the size of a doorknocker.

  “Like Bennett, I was engaged once.”

  I laughed and then caught myself when he looked over at me with a touch of hurt in his eyes. Wow. Was it possible he was actually human?

  “I had just graduated from school, and I was stupid.”

  “Why stupid?”

  “Well, she was two years behind me, and she liked to party. Unfortunately, I was in love with her. Or I thought I was. Then, she cheated on me with … pretty much everyone. I’m sure she got around to Bennett at some point, but he’d deny it.”

  “Then maybe he didn’t,” I snapped. “Ever think of that possibility? And did you cheat on her?”

  He glanced sheepishly in my direction.

  “Can’t get anything by you, can I?”

  “That’s called a double standard, dickhead. You can cheat on her, but she can’t cheat on you? Wow.”

  “Like I said, stupid.”

  “And you decided to hate all women after that? How cliché. Did you ever think that maybe the two of you weren’t meant to be together instead of all women are out to get me?”

  He shrugged.

  “Mark my words. Bennett and I aren’t that different. Bitter, twisted souls. Don’t be stupid like I was.”

  “So, let me get this straight. You’re saying that your friend is an asshole—like you—and I should get out now while I have the chance so I can fuck anybody with a willing dick … because that’s more fulfilling than mind-blowing sex with someone I love? Now, that there is some undeniable wisdom.”

  “Mind blowing? Really. And how would you know?”

  “You mean because I haven’t slept with anyone else? Is everything rated by comparison in your world?”

  “I’m just saying it’s impossible to know the true value of something when you have nothing to judge by.”

  I rolled my eyes at his logic.

  “You really love him?” James asked.

  “What the fuck do you care?”

  He laughed.

  “I can see what he likes about you.”

  “Yeah. That I’m a bitch, right? Thanks.”

  “You’re like one of his math problems—challenging.”

  “And you’re exhausting. Why did you agree to come pick me up?”

  “I enjoy a challenge myself. And Bennett’s my buddy.”

  I was about to say something about him not acting like a good buddy. Then I realized that arguing was futile. He was winding me up—and enjoying it. Well, I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction any longer.

  “James, can I give you a piece of advice?”

  “Sure, why not? I’ll probably enjoy this.”

  I looked down.

  “Stop expecting the worst out of people, and try believing that someone out there will love you for who you are. I’ve never been good at doing these things, but what’s the alternative? To end up bitter and alone?”

  When I looked over at him, he wasn’t smirking. He was just staring at me. I turned and looked out the window. Amazingly, for the rest of the trip, he was mostly silent, which worked for me. We stopped twice. Once at a drive-through and once at a rest stop, which was creepy and empty. James followed me to the women’s bathroom and made me give the all clear when I was sure it was empty. For a second, I started to wonder if he was part human. Then he took a call, and I listened to him for thirty seconds before going back to my original analysis: he was a complete dick.

  By the time we got to Mercer, it was about four in the afternoon. The dorm looked strange and unfamiliar, like I hadn’t been here in decades. Things had changed so much, and then changed again. When I got out, James opened the back and set my bags on the ground while I fished around for my ID. Finally I looked up at him.

  “Where do you live?” I asked, wondering if he had a long way to go.

  “Live?”

  “Yeah. You know—the place where you sleep, eat, shower.”

  “Everywhere. Nowhere. Anywhere close to an airport.”

  “Okay. I mean, where are you staying tonight?”

  He smiled.

  “I’m crashing at Bennett’s. … You want to join me?”

  I smirked.

  “Can I give you my number in case you hear from him?” … and I don’t, I didn’t add.

  “Give me your phone.”

  I handed it to him.

  “I’ve already got your number, but now you have mine. Do you need help?” he asked, gesturing toward the dorm.

  I shook my head.

  “Thanks for the ride.”

  I tried to smile before turning and starting to walk toward Mercer.

  “Alex?”

  I looked back.

  “I’m sorry about earlier …”

  I nodded.

  “But I still think that at your age you need something to compare with in order to qualify mind blowing.”

  “I’ll take that into consideration, and maybe if you stop expecting the worst out of people, things will work out for both of us.”

  He smiled.

  “Call me if you change your mind about coming over.”

  “Sure. Go ahead and hold your breath.”

  I turned and walked to Mercer. The bad news was that I was pretty sure Julie wouldn’t be back until tomorrow; the good news was that I didn’t think Brit would be around, either. Too bad Brit’s absence didn’t mea
n peace and quiet. Even with fewer people in the dorms, there were at least three rooms on my floor competing for whose music was loudest. Unlocking my door and sniffing the air, I decided that now was the best time to air out the room, clean up my side, and throw out any putrefying food containers that Brit might have left lying around from last term. I spent an hour cleaning before stopping to look out the window at the gray skies. It was like the sunny weather had decided to take a U-turn after the two days with Ryan. Still, it was at least seventy-degrees outside, and I decided I needed to get out. Otherwise, I would just sit in the room, play depressing music, and wait for Ryan to call.

  Changing into my workout clothes, I walked downstairs. But the second I started jogging, the ache in my ribs started up again. Apparently being around Ryan had been like a painkiller, and now that he was gone, the pain was back. It was better than it had been less than a week ago, but it still hadn’t gone away. I jogged super-slowly and checked every intersection compulsively before stepping into the crosswalk.

  When it started sprinkling, I turned around and made my way to Mercer. Back in the room, I texted Julie about going to the bookstore together. Then I went down the hall and showered, trying to relax. But I missed Ryan. And I was worried about him. I never heard from him, though, so I spent rest of the afternoon rearranging my side of the room, trying to Brit-proof it. I checked my phone compulsively, but when finally rang, it was Mom, not Ryan.

  “Are you all settled?” she asked when I picked up.

  “Just clearing out the destruction Brit left.”

  “I thought the two of you got along,” she clucked.

  I sighed. Brit and I had gotten along, for all of five minutes at the beginning of fall term, before I had realized that Brit’s syrupy sweetness was all a front. By the second week in the dorms, she had started making my life hell. I had already told Mom this, but Mom had a tendency to revise anything negative that I told her. When I said, “Brit’s a psychotic bitch,” Mom heard: “We braid each other’s hair every weekend while we’re studying.”

  “We’re okay.”

  “Did you get your books yet?”

  I bit my lip. No, because I was in a hotel room with Ryan Bennett getting deflowered, as James McDevitt put it.

  “I’m going over with Julie tomorrow. How was Stephie’s ballet recital?”

  “Your sister is a marvel. Her teacher says she’s one of the best students she’s ever had.”

  “Is Stephen going to send me the video?”

  “He already posted it on YouTube.”

  “Oh …”

  Thanks for telling me, Mom.

  “Alex, I’m sorry I blew a fuse about your Calculus class. It’s just I know you could have gutted it out if you had really tried. Maybe you could retake it this quarter.”

  I cringed.

  “Mom, I’m already signed up for classes. And I know you’re disappointed …” in me … “But I really hated Calculus, and I never would have made it through four years doing something I hated.”

  “You would have loved being a doctor, though,” she said wistfully.

  No, you would have loved having a doctor for a daughter, I corrected in my head.

  “Mom, the DC’s going to close soon. I’d better go. I’ll call when classes start. Give Stephie a hug for me.”

  “I will.”

  Grabbing my laptop, I got on the bed and thought about making Ramen instead of going alone to the DC. When someone knocked on my door, I was expecting one of the second-floor asshats to be standing on the other side looking for Brit. Then I checked the peephole and frowned. James McDevitt. Opening the door, I stared at him.

  “If I have to spend the night in this Podunk college town, then you’re coming to dinner with me.”

  I shrugged. Another night’s reprieve from dorm food? Why not?

  “And you’re going to keep your hands and tongue to yourself, right?”

  When he grinned and nodded, I went and grabbed my purse before following him to the stairwell.

  “Mind telling me how the hell you knew my room number?”

  “Bennett had it in his phone—”

  “Which you stole.”

  “Borrowed. Twice.”

  “That makes you a thief and a stalker,” I pointed out.

  “I’ve been called worse.”

  “By your own friend.” I paused. “Have you heard from him yet?”

  “You haven’t?”

  I looked down, trying not to feel as hurt as I did.

  “No.”

  Chapter 32

  Ryan

  “How long have you known?” I asked wearily.

  Becca took a sip of the shit coffee from the hospital cafeteria and shuddered.

  “Baby brother, I hate to tell you this, but there hasn’t been some grand conspiracy to keep you in the dark. I thought Dad had a case of bronchitis that wouldn’t quit. Even Mason was caught off guard by the CT scan. The only reason Dad came in last night was because he was having chest pains.”

  “Sorry,” I muttered. “It’s the guilt talking.”

  She gave me a look.

  “Are you telling me that you would feel better right now if you hadn’t gone back to school?”

  I ran a hand over my face.

  “No.”

  It was hard to believe that less than twenty-four hours ago I had been having the best two days of my life. I could have stayed in that hotel room forever with my arms wrapped around Alex, breathing in the smell of her. Glancing around the waiting area, I wondered how my life had gone from exceptional to shit in an instant.

  “I just didn’t expect it,” I said in a low voice. “The prognosis for Stage IV lung cancer is what? Months?”

  “Mason said it depends.”

  “And when did Dad even smoke?”

  My sister sighed.

  “I know he quit before Reece was born.”

  “Fuck, Bec. That was nearly forty years ago.”

  “And sometimes it’s just bad luck.”

  Hearing a pair of high heels clicking down the corridor, I looked up and saw my mother, perfectly composed, striding toward us. She hugged Becca and offered me her cheek. Her expression betrayed no emotion. My mother was, in a word, unflappable.

  “The two of you should go home. They’ll be releasing your father tomorrow, and there’s no sense in the two of you staying. We’ll see you at the house in the morning. Brunch at eleven-thirty.”

  In other words, we were dismissed. I would have asked for answers, but this was my mother. I walked with Becca out to the parking structure.

  “So how’s your little girlfriend?”

  “You mean since I left her alone in a hotel room five hours from the university? I wouldn’t know.”

  “Ryan! You did not!”

  “Oh, it gets better. I sent McDevitt to bring her back to school.”

  “Why would you do that?”

  “What was I supposed to do? Wake her up and drag her to the hospital for more of Mom’s disapproval?”

  “You could have driven her back to school.”

  “While Dad was in the hospital with a possible heart attack? Besides, I didn’t want to ruin the beginning of her spring term because of my shit.”

  My sister looked me up and down.

  “Do you love her? And no bullshitting me this time, Baby.”

  I smiled crookedly. Becca was the only person in the world who could call me Baby and not sound completely crazy. I nodded.

  “Good for you. Now, I suggest that you have a chat with Mom, because she’s already invited Gretchen to the house for—”

  I growled.

  “Son of bitch. Seriously?”

  Becca nodded.

  “She’ll be at brunch tomorrow.”

  “Wow,” I sighed. “Mom must like my ex better than she likes me. You were the one who called me.”

  Not bothering to contradict me, Becca opened her car door. Then she reached out and hugged me.

  “I’ll see you
in the morning. Call your girlfriend.”

  I nodded and started walking toward my car. I had been in the hospital for ten hours on and off to spend a grand total of ten minutes with my father, who had insisted he was fine. If they had let him have his cell phone, I was sure he would have been making business calls.

  So much for a touchy-feely father-son moment.

  I took out my phone. This morning felt like a million fucking years ago, and scrolling to Alex’s number, I wondered how livid she was going to be that I had sent McDevitt to pick her up. She had sent one text. I hadn’t heard from her since. The phone rang once before she picked up.

  “Ryan! Oh my god! Is your dad okay?” she asked breathlessly.

  I couldn’t help reveling in the fact that she sounded relieved—not angry—to hear from me after I had left her alone in a hotel room.

  “He’s okay. It’s a long story.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. And I’m sorry about this morning … for sending James to pick you up.”

  The sound of McDevitt’s voice in the background sent ice through my veins, and I looked down at my watch. He should have dropped her off hours ago.

  “How’s your pops?” McDevitt barked into the phone.

  “Getting out tomorrow.”

  “Awesome. There ain’t shit in this town for food. One decent restaurant. But how’s this for irony, buddy? I’m sleeping at your place and having dinner with your girl.”

  Unlocking the car, I got in and slammed the door violently after me. Why the fuck had I told him where the spare key to the house was?

  “You were supposed to drop her off at her dorm, not try to fuck my girlfriend, McDevitt,” I hissed.

  “Your girlfriend? That’s so sweet. You coming back tonight?”

  I thought about it. I wanted to drive to school, pick up Alex, and lose myself in her until morning. But her term started on Wednesday, and the last thing she needed was to deal with my bullshit right now. On the other hand, the thought of leaving her with McDevitt for a millisecond longer … I slammed my fist against the steering wheel.

  “That depends. Are you going to take her back to the dorm and keep your fucking hands off her?”