Censored by Confucius

by Mei Yüan

  As far as his eyes could see the landscape was barren, spotted here and there with low scrub and disturbed only by wisps of yellow dust.

  Suddenly a huge mountain reared up from the ground, eventually blocking out the sun. As it rose before them, the terrified soldiers and their startled horses could hear a tremendous crackling and thunderous roars.

  General Ta was just as frightened as his men, particularly when he noticed that the mountain was advancing towards them.

  It approached so quickly that there was no hope of escape. So the men leaped off their horses, formed a tight circle, closed their eyes, and waited for the worst.

  Seconds later they were enveloped in pitch darkness. The men and their horses were knocked to the ground and tossed around mercilessly by this dark force for quite some time. But eventually all was calm once again.

  The entire troop of thirty-six men emerged covered in blood with little pebbles embedded in their skin, some half an inch deep. When they turned to look at the departing mountain, it was already dozens of miles in the distance.

  That evening they returned to the Dajing base camp and reported this phenomenon to the chief of staff, Ma Chenghu.

  Ma laughed at General Ta, saying, "That wasn't a mountain! It was just a freak windstorm. You'd all be dead now if it had really been a mountain.

  "This sort of windstorm occurs quite regularly out there during the winter months. You've all survived the storm, but it's obvious your faces are badly pockmarked by the flying stones.

  "The scars will probably be permanent, so I suggest you make sure the troop's personnel records are updated to incorporate these changes to your men's appearances."

  The Old Woman Who Was Transformed into a Wolf

  In Aizhou County, Guangdong Province, there was a peasant by the name of Sun, whose mother had lived well into her seventies. One day, completely out of the blue, she started to grow hair on her arms. The hair spread to her back and then to her stomach and hands. Eventually she was entirely covered with inch-long hair. It was then that her body began to shrivel and a tail began to grow from her buttocks. Soon after the tail had formed she collapsed to the ground and before everyone's eyes was transformed into a white-haired wolf.

  The wolf dashed out of the house and was gone. There was nothing the startled Sun family could do but wait to see if she would return. As it turned out, the wolf returned regularly, once every three or four weeks. She would check on her sons and grandchildren and would usually have a meal and a drink before leaving again.

  The neighbors were disgusted by this unnatural creature and threatened to kill her, or at least drive her away from the village. Her son and his wife were terrified that something would indeed befall their mother if she continued to visit, so they resolved to warn her against returning. They prepared a banquet with delicacies such as pig trotters, and when the wolf next returned, her son explained that the feast was in her honor.

  "Mother, after this feast is over you must never come home again. We know that you think of us while you're out in the woods, and we know that you would never do anyone any harm, but the neighbors are fearful. They are planning to kill you and have their weapons ready at this very moment. We would never be able to live with ourselves if you were killed paying us a visit. So please, stay away and keep yourself safe."

  On hearing their advice the wolf howled mournfully, but then, after one last look at her loved ones, she ran off into the forest and was never seen again.

  A Loyal Dog Makes Use of Another Dog's Body

  An exceptionally handsome young Peking man named Chang had a dog by the name of Flower on whom he doted. Chang and Flower were inseparable—wherever Chang went, Flower could be seen scampering along behind.

  One fine spring day they went to Fengtai to view the park's famous blossoms. By the time they began their homeward journey it was late and there were very few people around.

  Unfortunately, as Chang and Flower made their way through the empty grounds they happened to pass three noisy young hooligans stretched out on the grass drinking.

  Now these three young drunks decided to have some fun with the handsome young man, and they began yelling all sorts of obscene propositions.

  When the drunks received no response they switched to more direct tactics. They jumped at Chang and started kissing him and pulling his clothes off. Young Chang was absolutely mortified, both embarrassed and terrified at this assault. He tried to struggle free, but he wasn't very strong and was clearly outnumbered.

  Seeing her master in strife, Flower growled and rushed in to bite the attackers. One of the young hooligans turned his attention to Flower, stoning the dog and eventually smashing her skull.

  Flower sank to the ground beneath a nearby tree, dead.

  Having rid themselves of this nuisance, the three hooligans set upon Chang with greater seriousness of purpose. They bound his arms and legs with his belt, pulled his trousers down to his knees and then pushed him face down to the ground. Two of the youths held Chang down while the other ripped his own trousers off and thrust himself down onto Chang's buttocks, intending to sodomize the helpless young man.

  Suddenly, out of the bushes rushed a mangy dog. He bit the rapist right on the testicles and with a quick twist of his neck ripped them off. Then, dropping the bleeding sacs to the ground, the dog escaped back into the bushes. Blood gushed from the wounded man's groin, and his friends, in terror lest the dog return, carried him home.

  Eventually passersby saw Chang tied up on the ground. They undid the belt, helped him dress himself, and saw him on his way home.

  In the quiet of his own residence, Chang felt the loss of his loyal dog more keenly than before. He vowed to return the next day to retrieve Flower's body so as to give her a proper burial.

  That night he dreamed that Flower spoke to him: "You have always been so kind to me. I was robbed of my chance to repay this kindness when that villain killed me. But even though I was physically dead, my soul was very much alive.

  "I attached myself to the body of the mangy dog that lives at the bean curd store, and was able to kill that rapist all the same. Now, even though I am dead, I can rest in peace knowing I have served you well." Flower then whimpered pitifully before disappearing.

  The next day Chang went to the bean curd store to see if there really were such a mangy dog. The dog did indeed exist, and when Chang asked the owner about it he was told, "This dog is really sick, old, and quite incapable of biting anyone. But you know, last night he came home with his mouth dripping with blood. I'm still not sure what happened."

  Chang then sent some friends to ask about recent deaths in the locality, and sure enough the young hooligan had died of his wounds the previous night soon after returning home.

  Leng Qiujiang

  In 1745 a Zhenjiang silk merchant by the name of Cheng was returning home one night through the foothills of Elephant Mountain. At one particularly isolated place along the road, a small child ran out from the bushes and graves scattered around and tugged at his clothes.

  Cheng knew it was a ghost and shouted at it, but it refused to leave. Not long afterwards, another small child ran up and clutched Cheng's hand.

  The first child then tried to pull Cheng westward towards a wall crowded with shadows. Suddenly he found himself pelted with mud.

  Then the second child pulled him eastward towards another wall from which came some ghostly sounds. This time Cheng was pelted with gravel.

  Cheng was powerless and had to submit to the pushing and pulling of the children. From both sides the ghosts began to jeer at him, and then they appeared to fight over him among themselves. Cheng was terrified and finally collapsed in a heap in the mud, prepared for the worst.

  Suddenly a ghost cried out, "Master Leng is coming. We must get out of his way! He may be learned, but he's thoroughly detestable and awfully obstinate nonetheless!"

  Surely enough, striding jauntily along the track with his shoulders pushed back, came a large man. He was bea
ting a large fan against the palm of his hand to keep time as he sang, "The river flows eastward." He lumbered towards Cheng, showing not the least bit of fear, and the ghosts instantly scattered.

  This man looked down at Cheng and smiled. "Are those vile ghosts harassing you? Worry no longer. I'm here to save you, so just walk along with me now."

  Cheng duly rose and followed him.

  All the while the man kept up his singing and after they had walked several miles the sky began to lighten. He turned to Cheng and said, "We are close to your home now, so I'll be off."

  Cheng bowed, thanked him, and asked his name, to which he received the reply "I am Leng Qiujiang, and I live at the crossroads of the east gate."

  On arriving back home, Cheng discovered that his nostrils, mouth, ears, indeed every possible orifice, had been filled with dark mud. His startled family hastily washed him down with herbal water. Once more in a presentable state he decided to go over to the east gate to express his gratitude to his rescuer.

  At the crossroads he discovered that there was no one by the name of Leng Qiujiang to be found.

  After extensive inquiries he was told, "There is an ancestral temple here for the Leng family and inside you'll find that there's a tablet for someone by the name of Mei. This fellow was a scholar in the early Shunzhi era and he had the literary title Qiujiang."

  The Nailed-up Specter Makes Good Her Escape

  In Jurong County there was a bounty hunter by the name of Yin Qian who was famous for his success in apprehending thieves. His technique involved lurking in the dark recesses of the village while waiting for his prey to pass. Then, when the thief least expected it, Yin Qian would leap out and make his arrest.

  One day as he was walking towards the village, a person carrying a length of rope brushed past him in a hurry. Yin suspected criminal intent so he followed the figure to the outside of a house. His quarry then jumped a short wall and entered the courtyard.

  Yin thought to himself, "I probably won't get any bounty payment if I hand this fellow over to the authorities, but if I wait a while I may be able get my reward by relieving him of his loot."

  A short while later Yin's suspicions were aroused when he detected the muffled sounds of a woman crying. He promptly jumped the wall and from his vantage point in the courtyard observed a seated woman staring at her likeness in a bedroom mirror.

  Also visible to Yin was a woman with matted hair who was balancing on the roof beam directly above the seated lady, trying to catch her with a noosed rope.

  Yin realized instantly that he had stumbled upon the ghost of a woman who had hanged herself, and that the ghost was trying to find a replacement soul. With a great shout he threw open the gates and burst into the house. All the various members of the household, and even some of the neighbors, came running to see the cause of the commotion and listened in surprise as Yin explained.

  When they checked on the woman in question, they did indeed find her hanging by the neck from a rope attached to the roof beam. They quickly untied the rope and set about reviving her. To display the depth of their gratitude, the woman's father-in-law and aunts held a sumptuous banquet in Yin's honor.

  When the feast had ended, Yin set off for home along the same road he had traveled earlier in the day. It was not yet light when he heard behind him a rustling sound. He turned and saw the very same ghost following him, still clutching her rope.

  The ghost cursed him. "I was going to take that woman. It was none of your business! Why did you break my spell?" Using all her strength, she then tried to tie up Yin with her rope.

  Yin was a courageous fellow and he tried to fight her off. Curiously, whenever his fist hit the ghost it was enveloped in an eerie chill that carried the sickly stench of blood.

  As the sky lightened the ghost, still bearing her rope, began to tire. Yin, on the contrary, found his strength and courage increasing. Seizing this opportunity, he grabbed the ghost and tightened his grip.

  An early-morning passerby was treated to the spectacle of Yin discharging an incessant barrage of abuse at a piece of rotten wood he was clutching to his chest. Drawing nearer, our curious passerby saw Yin shake himself, as if waking from slumber, and then drop the piece of wood to the ground.

  Yin was incensed and explained that a ghost had lodged itself inside that particular piece of wood. He declared, "I won't let this block of wood get off so lightly."

  On returning home he promptly nailed it to a post in his courtyard, and each night thereafter he would hear cries of pain and sounds of piteous weeping coming from the post.

  Several days later, Yin's courtyard was filled by a group of people whose object was to persuade Yin to show clemency towards the ghost. From their childlike, screechy voices Yin concluded that these were fellow ghosts and promptly disregarded their pleas for mercy.

  One of these ghosts shouted to the block of wood, "Lucky his lordship only nailed you up. If he'd tied you with rope you'd really be in pain."

  At this, the other ghosts bristled and muttered, "Be quiet! Don't say things like that! What if Yin heard you?"

  Later, Yin exchanged the nails for a rope. That night the courtyard was free of weeping and wailing.

  When Yin examined the piece of wood the following day, it was clear the ghost had made good her escape.

  The Messenger of Death Who Loved His Wine

  In Hangzhou there lived a man by the name of Yuan Guanlan, who remained unmarried well into his forties. His neighbor's daughter, however, took a liking to him despite his age. He thought she was an attractive girl, and soon their love grew.

  When Guanlan mentioned the possibility of marriage to his beloved's father, however, it was opposed on the grounds that Guanlan was too poor to marry. The daughter pined for her lover and it wasn't long before she had died from misery.

  Guanlan heard the news of his beloved's death and was stricken with grief. He wandered sadly out into the moonlit night and bought some wine to drown his sorrows.

  He had been drinking for only a short time when he saw a dim figure leaning up against a wall. The person had disheveled hair and held a rope in its hand that was tied to something out of Guanlan's view.

  The person smiled at him, and Guanlan, assuming the man to be a servant of one of his neighbors, waved and said, "Would you care to share my wine?"

  The person nodded and a cup of wine was duly poured for him. The strange thing was, this man didn't drink in the normal fashion. Instead of drinking through his mouth, he sniffed the wine up his nose.

  Guanlan worried that the wine might not be warm enough for his guest and so he asked, "Is this too cold for you?"

  The man nodded, and Guanlan warmed a second cup for him. This time the cup was emptied with one snort of the mighty nostrils. Guanlan poured more wine.

  The more wine the stranger sniffed up, the redder his face became, until eventually Guanlan's guest was incapable of holding his mouth closed. Guanlan then poured the wine straight down the gaping throat.

  It wasn't long before he noticed that with each swig of wine the stranger's body grew smaller, until after a bottle he had shrunk to the size of a newborn baby and lay paralyzed on the ground.

  Guanlan pulled at the rope the man had been holding. To his great surprise he discovered his neighbor's daughter, his dead lover, tied to the end. Guanlan was ecstatic and moved quickly to rid himself of the drunken messenger of death. He pushed the shrunken form into his wine jug, sealed the top, and trapped it by writing a hexagram on the lid. He untied his beloved and drew her into his bedroom, where they became husband and wife in all but name. From then on they lived a contented life, although not quite a regular one. During the night Guanlan's new wife had a visible form, but during the day she disappeared and could only be heard, not seen.

  This situation continued for about a year, until one day she said gleefully to Guanlan, "I have been given permission to be reborn. Just wait, I'll become the most beautiful wife you have ever dreamed of.

  "A youn
g woman in the next village is going to die tomorrow, so I'll go over and borrow her body for my reincarnation. You must go to their house and claim to be able to revive their daughter in exchange for a reward. The cash will come in handy for our wedding expenses."

  That very next day, Guanlan went to the village and located the bereaved family. The parents were sobbing with grief as they prepared for the funeral. Guanlan called to them, "I have some medicine that will bring her back to life. I'll give it to her if you let me take her as my wife when she recovers."

  Naturally the family agreed, so Guanlan leaned over the corpse and whispered in its ear. This whispering went on for a little while and eventually the dead woman sat up large as life. The watching villagers were sure it was the work of a god, but a deal was a deal, so Guanlan and his reincarnated wife were married.

  Strangely, for a year after her reincarnation Guanlan's wife remembered only the past of the daughter whose body she had borrowed. She regained the memories of her own family only gradually.

  Best of all, the newly reincarnated wife was much better looking than the original wife!

  A Fox Fairy Plays Guanyin for Three Years

  A scholar by the name of Zhou from Hangzhou was walking with the grand Daoist master Zhang one day. The two men stopped at an inn in Baoding, and there appeared a beautiful woman who knelt on the steps in front of the grand master. She looked as if she was praying.

  The scholar then asked the grand master what had happened between them and the master replied, "That woman is a fox fairy. She was just asking me permission to use some incense from the human world, that's all."