by Mei Yüan
The scholar asked in reply, "Did you grant her wish?"
Grand Master Zhang replied, "She has been cultivating her spirit for years and I can detect a distinct spiritual aura around her. I am rather concerned that if I give her some of the potent incense she requested, she'll have the magical power to turn herself into an object of worship."
Now Scholar Zhou rather fancied the looks of the young woman, so he persuaded Zhang to grant her permission to use the incense.
The grand master responded, "You have put me in a very awkward position, as I have no desire to deny your wishes. I'll give her permission to use this incense for three years, but she must receive no more after this period is over."
Having thus decided, Grand Master Zhang ordered one of his priests to put the agreement in writing on his yellow paper and pass it on to the young woman.
Three years later, just after Scholar Zhou had failed the imperial examinations, he made his way from the capital and passed through Suzhou. There he heard that on a nearby mountain, there was a temple to the goddess Guanyin where miraculous events were happening. In his despondent state he decided to make his way up to the temple to offer some prayers and leave a few offerings.
At the base of the mountain he made inquiries and was told by several fellow pilgrims, "This particular Guanyin achieves remarkable results, but you have to walk up, you can't go by sedan chair. Everyone who tries to go by sedan chair encounters problems and ends up walking."
This advice seemed too fanciful for our scholar to believe, so he set off in a sedan chair. But after a mere ten or so paces, the poles on the chair snapped and he tumbled to the ground. Fortunately he wasn't injured. Rather chastened, he continued on foot.
On reaching the temple, Zhou could see it was well patronized. Offerings and incense filled the altars. It appeared the so-called Guanyin was seated behind some silk drapes, which concealed her from view.
When Scholar Zhou asked the reason for this strange custom, an attendant monk replied, "Our Guanyin is so beautiful that we fear people will be driven to unholy thoughts and deeds if they look upon her form."
Scholar Zhou was not satisfied with this answer and insisted upon seeing the Guanyin without the curtains. The voluptuous vision he saw before him really was quite unlike any other Guanyin he had ever seen.
The longer he looked, the more familiar the face appeared. Finally it dawned on him that this was the same woman on whose behalf he had interceded three years previously at the inn.
Outraged, he pointed at the statue, saying, "Three years ago I spoke on your behalf in good faith. Now you have this bounty of offerings and incense and what do I receive in return? Not only did you not thank me, but today you broke my sedan chair. What sort of gratitude is that?
"Besides, the grand master gave you permission to receive offerings only for a period of three years. That time has already passed and yet you are still malingering here. Have you forgotten the agreement you made?"
Before he could complete his tirade the statue fell to the ground and was smashed to bits. The monks were incredulous. They waited until Scholar Zhou had left Suzhou and then raised funds to rebuild the statue.
The new Guanyin, however, was not able to perform the remarkable deeds of the previous statue.
Butterfingered Scholar Wu
In May of 1760, during the reign of the Qianlong emperor, the head prefect of Feng County, Lu Shichang, set about revising the local gazetteer. He hired a scholar from Suzhou by the name of Wu as the project's chief scribe.
It was customary with these sorts of projects that all involved would live at the work site. So Wu left home to take up residence and employment in Feng County.
One morning, before work had begun for the day, Wu bowed deeply to his colleagues and said, "I will die soon and I am afraid that all the work I have started will be left to you."
His colleagues were puzzled at this strange declaration and asked how on earth he knew he was about to die.
He told them rather sadly, "On my way here I passed through Pei County, where I was approached by a woman who asked if she could share my carriage. I told her I was not in a position to invite her in because my carriage was already rather cramped.
"I continued on my way, and to my great surprise, each time I looked back at the road we had just traveled, this same woman was running along behind. She followed the carriage for more than twenty miles. When I asked the driver what he thought of this strange woman he didn't know which woman I meant. Then I knew she was a ghost.
"That night we stopped at an inn, and just as I was dozing off, the same woman appeared out of nowhere and sat on my bed.
"She said, 'Why don't we get married? We're both twenty-nine years old so it would be a perfect match.'
"I was absolutely stupefied by her presence as well as her suggestion, but all I could do was throw a pillow at her. She vanished in a flash, and although I saw nothing of her for the rest of the night, a voice demanding marriage whispered ceaselessly in my ear. She never used my name. Instead she called me by the name of a famous calligrapher.
"It seemed as if there would be no end to this annoyance, so I said to her, Til give you anything if only you'll leave me in peace. What do you want?'
"She replied, 'I want two hundred cash put in the loft. Then I'll leave you.'
"I placed the money in the loft, but nothing changed—the money wasn't removed and her pestering continued unabated."
On hearing of this dreadful predicament, his friends were all terribly sympathetic. In a bid to protect Wu from the ghost, they allocated two boys to be his constant guards.
Several days later they heard a tremendous scream from the upstairs room. They rushed up and found Scholar Wu in a heap on the floor. A knife had been plunged into his abdomen and his intestines spilled out through the wound. His throat had also been cut, brutally severing his esophagus. His colleagues lifted him to a nearby bed. All the while, Wu assured them he was not in any pain.
When Prefect Lu arrived to examine his employee, Scholar Wu beckoned him nearer. Wu then wrote the character for "fate" in the air and the bemused prefect asked, "What do you mean? Whose fate?"
Wu then said in a weak, scratchy voice, "It was a fatal attraction. She came again and begged me to join her in the underworld so that we could be married. I asked her how I should kill myself and she handed me a knife, saying, 'Here, use this.' I grabbed the knife and plunged it deep into my stomach.
"I was groaning in pain, but when she saw my agony the woman massaged the wound and said, 'Your pain will stop now.' Sure enough, where she had massaged me I no longer felt any pain.
"I asked her again, 'What should I do next?'
"She then made a gesture as if she were cutting her own throat and said, 'Do as I have shown you.' So I slashed at my throat with the knife. But this only made her cross. She stamped her foot and said with a sigh, 'This is hopeless! All you're doing is causing yourself unnecessary pain.'
"She massaged my throat wound and once again the pain disappeared. Then she pointed to a spot on the right side of my throat and said, 'This is a better spot.'
"By this stage I was becoming quite queasy, and so I said, 'My hands are so shaky I just can't grip the knife. I've got butterfingers. I'm really too weak to do it properly. Can't you help me?'
"So the woman loosened her hair, and as it fell to her shoulders she lunged at me with the knife. This time my colleagues heard my screams of pain and came running up. As soon as she heard the footsteps she threw the knife aside and disappeared."
Prefect Lu was intrigued by this confession, but seeing that the man was still quite weak he refrained from questioning him further and hurriedly called a doctor. The doctor was able to reconstruct Wu's abdomen and throat, and although it was some time before he was able to eat and drink, he eventually recovered with the help of a course of medication and plenty of rest.
As for the ghost, she was never seen again.
The Patriarch of Fox Fairies
A young woman who lived in a Dai village in Yancheng County was once bewitched by a demon. She eventually grew tired of the host of ineffectual magic charms she had tried, and decided the time had come to take personal action against the demon. So, she lodged a complaint with the god of the Guandi temple that lay to the north of the village. After she burned her letter the demon did indeed cease its harassment.
One night not long after this, everyone in her household had an identical dream. A god dressed in full battle array spoke to them. "I am General Zhou, a subordinate of the great god of war, Guandi. A few days ago one of your family requested help in exorcising a demon. This demon was in fact a fox fairy and I have already executed the beast.
"However, tomorrow all of the fox's friends are planning to take up arms against me to avenge its death. I will need your support in this battle. So, bring your drums and cymbals to the temple to spur me on."
The next morning, the family hurried to the temple, their numbers swelled by supportive neighbors. From somewhere in the air they could hear the thundering of horses' hooves and the clanking of armor. They took these battle sounds to be their cue.
The people in the crowd picked up their drums and cymbals and began to beat the rhythms of the war drums with all their might. Soon a black smoke filled the courtyard, and as it wafted into the village the sky began to rain fox corpses.
Several days later, the family dreamed that General Zhou returned. He said, "I have offended the Patriarch of the Foxes by slaughtering so many of his kind. The patriarch has lodged a complaint against me with the heavenly emperor, and the imperial police will soon be investigating the case.
"I hope I can depend on your support when I make my defense." Zhou then left details of the time and place of the hearing.
At the appointed time, the family gathered at the temple, taking care to hide along the corridors leading to the hall. They waited until nightfall and then the emperor himself arrived in a carriage, surrounded by various guards and attendants.
Behind the entourage came a white-haired person escorted by two guards bearing a placard upon which was written "The Fox Patriarch." The patriarch had strong, sharp teeth and white eyebrows.
Next the god of war came forward and welcomed them most respectfully to his temple.
The fox patriarch then took the lead saying, "There is no doubt the mischievous young fox deserved to die, but your subordinate has taken the matter too far. He has cruelly and ruthlessly killed scores of other innocent foxes. This is completely unforgivable."
The god of war nodded his head as if he agreed, and the horrified villagers hurried out of their hiding places and knelt before the assembled court. They pleaded on General Zhou's behalf for lenience.
A scholar among the kneeling crowd, also named Zhou, then cursed the patriarch. "Your hair may be white with age but you're still as cunning as ever. It is you who should be begging for forgiveness! Your subordinates spend all their time seducing innocent women and ultimately it is your responsibility! How can you be patriarch to such shameless creatures? You should be beheaded!"
Faced with this barrage of insults, the fox patriarch merely smiled and said in a calm and relaxed manner, "If humans commit adultery, what would be their punishment?"
Scholar Zhou replied, "They would be beaten."
The old fox replied, "Since adultery is not punishable by death, why did my underlings face death? Even if one considers that they committed adultery across species, this is only a crime of marginally increased severity, deserving exile at the worst. But what has happened? General Zhou has slaughtered not just one fox but scores of foxes! What sort of justice is that?"
Before Scholar Zhou had a chance to reply, the emperor's verdict was heard. "The emperor has decided that General Zhou's vigilance against evil was excessive and the punishments he administered were far too severe for the crimes committed. However, the court has taken into account that Zhou was acting unselfishly and was prompted by pleas for help from villagers who were suffering from the fox fairy's mischievousness. His punishment will be the loss of a year's salary and transfer to Haizhou District."
The relieved villagers shouted with joy and then bowed their heads with prayers of thanks to the wisdom of heaven before heading back to their homes.
Swindled by the Earth God's Wife
At the Huju Gate area there is a famous doctor by the name of Tu Qieru who happens to be a very good friend of mine. His daughter-in-law, Madam Wu, is the younger sister of a famous personage renowned for his filial piety and honor.
In 1776 Madam Wu dreamed she met up with a Mr. Li, a local conscript who was begging for alms. Mr. Li was carrying on his person a set of Buddhist scriptures that predicted the future, and one of the events it foretold was that the Huju Gate area would soon suffer a calamitous fire.
Mr. Li claimed to be collecting alms to finance an opera in honor of the gods in the hope of preventing this fire, but Madam Wu remained only half convinced by his story. It was true that the scriptures included detailed notes on names and places, but it still seemed rather an unlikely event.
While she was hesitating, an old woman in a yellow blouse and a crimson skirt appeared and said to her: "On the third of September a blaze will occur and your family will be the first affected. My numerical calculations suggest that you will not escape.
"What you need to do to prevent this calamity is to bum spirit money and make a few animal sacrifices. That should appease the gods and with luck will ensure no one is killed in the fire."
When Madam Wu woke from her dream she inquired about Conscript Li and discovered he had died many years before. She then asked if anyone knew of the woman with the yellow blouse, but to no avail.
She grew increasingly suspicious about the information given her in the dream, so she went to the local earth god's temple. She was both astonished and fearful to find that the idol representing the earth god's wife was identical to the woman in her dream.
When she consulted her neighbors about the coincidence, they were equally fearful and hurried off to organize an extraordinary show of devotion and respect to the temple. They put on dramatic performances, made special offerings, and raised several hundred taels of gold with which they bought supplies to continue the ritual.
When September drew near, the Tu family moved all their smaller household items to a relative's house. From the first of September they stopped cooking in the house and when the day of the third arrived there was quiet all around the neighborhood.
The day passed without a fire and in fact my good friend Mr. Tu is still quite safe today.
The Good Little Ghost
In Jinling there was a young fellow by the name of Ge who loved drinking and acting tough. He was forever harassing and bullying other people.
Early one morning he and a group of friends went to Yuhuatai Park, where they chanced upon a partly rotted coffin. A piece of a red skirt was hanging through the rotted boards.
Ge's companions baited him, saying: "You're pretty good at heckling people, but would you dare bother that thing in the coffin?"
Ge laughed. "Why not?" He strode to the coffin and beckoned to it several times, saying, "That's a good little girl, come out and have some wine with me!"
Ge's friends were most impressed with his bravado and roared with laughter before going their separate ways.
As he made his way home that evening Ge was tailed by a black shadow that chittered eerily, "Your good little girl has come for some wine."
Ge knew that this must be the ghost from the rotted coffin and decided to keep the upper hand. He boldly greeted the shadow, saying, "Come along with me, my good little ghost."
He made his way toward a wineshop, went upstairs, and ordered a jug of wine for two. He then raised his cup and toasted the black shadow.
None of the tavern's patrons could see the shadow, so they assumed Ge was an idiot and gathered around to have a bit of a laugh.
After Ge and the shadow had drunk for a
while, Ge took off his hat, placed it on the table, and said, "I'm just going downstairs to relieve myself. I'll be back in a moment."
The shadow nodded in reply.
Ge went downstairs and immediately rushed home.
The bartender later noticed that one of his guests had left without taking his hat and so he filched it. But that night he was possessed by a ghost. He spent the entire night muttering and mumbling and by daybreak he had finally hanged himself.
The wineshop keeper later said laughingly, "That ghost couldn't even distinguish between two entirely different people. She could only recognize the hat!
"That 'good little girl' was not so good after all!"
The Ghosts Who Pretended They Could Speak Mandarin
The current superintendent of transport for Hedong, Wu Yuncong, was once a secretary for the Board of Punishment. One day a festival was being held on the street outside Wu's residence, and a maid took his young son to see the fun.
While they were out, the little boy needed to empty his bladder and did so on the side of the road. Instantly he began to cry, and he kept on crying even after he had been taken home by the worried maid.
Nobody in the house could understand why he was crying until later that night, when the young boy suddenly spoke in Mandarin: "What a rude little boy! How dare he urinate on my head! I'll make sure you all pay for this insult!"
The crying then continued unabated throughout the night.
The next morning the incensed and exhausted Mr. Wu wrote a complaint against this ghost addressed to the city god. He then took the letter to the city god's temple and burned it.
The letter contained words to the effect, "I am a southerner and my young son has unintentionally offended a Mandarin-speaking ghost. This ghost is extremely wild and totally unscrupulous. Can you please investigate this case for me and bring some relief to my son?"